Lovely to see dozens of co-conspirators last night. No doubt there will be embarrassing pictures. Thanks to everyone who bought Guido a Guinness, it went better than you think with the Pimms. The Karoake later in the evening was legend. Guido then found himself in a nightclub full of teenagers in Soho at one in the morning, realised he was the “Disco Daddy” and left. Mrs Fawkes was very understanding about the lack of keys and directed her husband to the spare room.
What’s the Point of Our Anti-Business Secretary? | Ruth Porter
Krugman is Seductive, Simplistic and Unrealistic | Jeremy Warner
Lower Taxes, Higher Growth, the Statistical Evidence | CPS
Bash the Unions, Gatecrash the Quangos | ConservativeHome
I Told You So: Euro is Doomed | Douglas Carswell
PM Speaks for the Nation When Bashing Balls | Quentin Letts
Time for an Alliance | Dan Hannan
Farage’s Plan | ConservativeHome
Guardian Open News is a Failure | Heather Brooke
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messiah | Dan Hodges
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Lord Lamont told ITV News…
“I think the PM is just human and Ed Balls is a pretty irritating person”
Any MP’s strutting their stuff?
Nice to see your eyes have been gouged out, it suits you.
By the way, I’m dim and sexually repressed.
I came from a rural English area where bestiality was strongly condemned.
Now I’m free to express my perfectly legitimate lifestyle choices. Hurrah!
It’s an ace handle isn’t it?
How are you enjoying it?
To be honest you’re not really doing it justice, are you?
Jews are scum, racists are great. Did I forget to mention I suffer from multiple personality disorder?
Yes and no, but it’s great to see your pathetic limp attempt at a riposte to reasonable and clear argument.
Go on say somthing dirty you know you love it, really. Don’t you, you know it makes you feel so well, alive?
Does anyone else feel sick after four guinnesses or is it just me, love the stuff just can’t binge drink on it.
Guiness in Dublin is heaven.
Anywhere else it’s hell.
I’d be more impressed by your knowledge of Guinness if you could spell it, twat.
Guinness definitely begins with a G.
Absolute bollocks to say Guinness tastes better in Dublin, it’s the same stuff. Like saying London Pride tastes better in London, it’s shite wherever its drunk!
Guinness is good everywhere, but better in good company.
It is bad in Hotels as the lines are too long
Nice to see your eyes have been gouged out, it suits you, really.
Jews are great, racists are scum.
My god!!! This Brown fellow is completely Mad – he will not share an aircraft??
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200284/Brown-spending-4-6million-foreign-travel-year-twice-Blair.html
How many helicopters could you buy with that lot?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/gordon-brown/5845147/Cost-of-Gordon-Browns-spin-doctors-rises.html
You might buy a few 1600 spin-speed washing machines with this.
I wouldn’t want to share one with him. Bound to have engine failure or hit a bird or something.
Absolutely. You would think, then, on that basis he’d be safer flying with as many others as possible (obviously it wouldn’t be safer for the others, though; only Psycholops)
And then there’s the Holy Carbon Footprint to consider – right load of green bollox and just another tool to piss us all off and fleece us rigid….
Matthew 23:25
“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.”
No.No It’s OK. A spokesman has said ‘ It’s all within the ministerial code’
Well spotted nell. So that’s alright, then. Nothing to see here, move along please…
FUCK YOU BROWN, EVEN “PRESIDENT” BLIAR WENT ON COMMERCIAL FLIGHTS.
STOP SPENDING ANY MORE OF OUR MONEY!!!
‘FUCK YOU BROWN’
Hush!, for Heaven’s sake!
Squiddy, I think “FUCK YOU BROWN” is an understatement.
Maybe “SWING FROM A LAMP POST ON WESTMINSTER BRIDGE, BROWN” might be more appropriate for this moron.
General election please, tomorrow…
Steve mate,
Squidy is a wind-up, a decoy to lure out some of our more maladjusted NuLabour friends.
McStalin needs to be protected from the electorate, hence the requirement for the private aircraft.
Miliband has demanded the same.
Then there are the Limo’s that these millionaire socialists travel in, armoured in Belgium (another insult to British Engineering & Defence Companies).
Personally, I would venture the firm opinion that neither McMental or that intellectual pigmy Miliband would dare use a snatch Land Rover to travel in any city in England, let alone tour Helmand in one of them.
McStalin needs to be protected from the electorate, hence the requirement for the private aircraft.
Miliband has demanded the same.
Yeah, but at least Miliband has a genuine need for a private plane. At a moment’s notice, he might have to jet of to Tel Aviv to receive further instructions on to how to carry out his job as Foreign Secretary.
As they only get as far as Camp Bastion for about an hour once every election campaign, they are not in too much danger.
Try living in jockland. “Lord” Steel was (maybe still is) forever jetting of far and wide, paid for by *UK* taxpayers, and MSP “ministers” just love fact-finding in sunny environemets. The Scottish “government” is claiming jockland will have the lowest carbon footprint in the world by … well, make up a number over 2020 … when every scheme (jockspeak for council estate) will be wind powered. I could go on – but thankfully not.
Thank Fuck.
Try a little tenderness you fucking mong.
What else would you expect from this arrogant tosser?
I’d be very happy to share with him.
Guiness and Pimms! Mmmmm! When we tried the ‘mixed drink’ game at the Waad Arms once, the winner was a mixture of Hollands gin and the juice from a jar of cockles.
We found a 20 year old jar of homemade cocktail cherrys in brandy in the 3 crowns, wicked hathern, they were great with strongbow
Dylan Thomas and his mates played that game once – the most revolting drink they came up with was IIRC Guinness and the juice from a pint of whelks.
Who says money can’t buy you happiness.
When drunk and flatulent that spare room does wonders for one’s marriage.
Is flatulent a type of buy-to-rent?
Ahh sounds like a good night Guido…Sorry I didn’t make it
What happened NewGirl, everyone on here last night thought you were there..?
Well I unfortunately got waylaid….in a different pub…..and now I have a rose headache!
It was me who waylaid her!
NewGirl’s got better suction than my Henry hoover!
Guido – not a story without pictures!
What me? In a dormitory of a sixth form girls boarding school? With my reputation?
Tell it to the beak.
Sounds like a good night, at least you didn’t fall asleep on the train going home and miss your stop
Jeff Randall meanwhile picks up the Government for Defence Spending
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/comment/jeffrandall/5845163/We-have-a-moral-duty-to-our-troops-pay-up-or-pull-them-out.html
Ha ha, memories of old. Is there anyone who hasn’t once ended up in Salisbury or Brighton when aiming for Woking or Croydon?
Good article from Randall – you either do the job properly or not at all…
Do you think Cameron could persuade Dannatt to stand against Ainsworthless when the election comes around??
My local station is Eastbourne – the taxi drivers frequently tell of tiddled passengers getting of and needing a lift back to Croydon – £75 nice work at 0100!!
I used to live in Epping at the end of the Central Line. I can’t even begin to estimate the numbers of times I got the last train and tapped fellow passengers on the shoulder – “We’re at Epping”, “Shit I meant to get off at Leytonstone”.
‘The economics of Aldi’: what a wonderful phrase to sum up this wretched government’s treatment of the armed forces. They deserve at least Waitrose, but Fortnum & Mason’s would be ideal.
You’d have the UK forces making a full frontal assault on the entire world no doubt.
Grow a brain you pustule near bursting point.
Stop posturing on the corpses of dead soldiers.
India is using 700,000 troops to control Kashmir, is that what you want? 700,000 UK troops in Afghanistan?
If so, in order to achieve what?
To protect the heroin supply into Scottish slum estates, of course.
We in New Labour need to counter the SNP – and the only way to achieve that is to get all the locals high on skag.
You are dismissed.
You specious little upstart.
My brother died in Gulf War 1, in a blue-on-blue incident.
My mother’s brother was on patrol in the streets of Belfast when he was blown up.
And one of my cousins died while serving in Bosnia.
I do not take war lightly. I don’t believe we should be fighting illegal and unwinnable wars, especially when the real danger is much closer to home, but we are, and to scalp the defence budget amounts to criminal negligence.
I’d also like you to apologise. But your knee-jerk posts tell me that is too much to hope for.
How sweet a flock of masquerading lightweights.
Succeeding spectacularly at highlighting their lighweightedness and vacuity, by Jingo!
The fact is the Conservitudes are posturing on the corpses of dead soldiers by Jingoistically exploiting the operation in Afghanistan, that’s their decision. No doubt it’s prompted by their public relations being led by an ex editor of a filthy rag in the stable of a war mongering media conglomerate that is financially imploding. It and similar monopolistic corporations urgently need another conflagration in which thier brother corporations can gorge themselves on tax payers money pouring in to buying many whizz bang bang gizmos, wake up you pathetic flaccid turbot.
Coulsongate, anyone?
Traiter and fascist.
so masterbater, what say you?
do we stay in Afghanistan or do we withdraw our troops?
“Coulsongate”?
That’s the Boer* War! We are talking about Helmand here.
*alternate spellings accepted
where the fuck did master baiter go?
very suspicious behaviour indeed.
what a fucking coward, eh?
Jingoism
War cheer leader
Fox News
News International
Murdoch
News of the World
Andy Coulson
Jingosim
Conservative public relations
Coulsongate
fucking hell.
hold on, are you saying andy coulson is a war propagandist and he will help david cameron whip up the necessary propaganda to invade iran?
that’s a bit fucking strong MB.
probably the correct analysis though.
after all, cameron is a smooth talking c’unt just like blair, just fucking like him.
and cameron has not learned the lesson of occupation, a lesson this country learned in the thirteen century: there is no profit in occupation.
dave cameron is a useless c’unt and andy coulson is a warmongers propagandist.
sounds about right, dunnit?
what a pair of fucking whores.
occupation doesn’t pay? if you exclude dead soldiers (and obviously most politicians of both parties do despite their public stance) it tends to pay pretty damn well if you’re willing to be cruel enough (or can control the media) to maintain order. thats kind of why all of europe we spent 500 years gradually occupying all the nice bits on the planet where the people didn’t have cannon.
i think its disingenuous to compare our current conflict with either historical occupations of afghanistan (even the russian invasion, political and technological changes have altered the balance considerably). its even more unfair to contrast it with india’s occupation of kashmir. kashmir is a territory claimed by regional rivals who’ve hated each other as long as they’ve existed. we have no longterm claim on afghanistan. we supposedly wanted to remove a hive of terrorist, and got bogged down.
what bothers me about afghanistan is the return of the poppy crops. the taliban had basically screwed the junkies of the world and wiped out cultivation. they were tyrannical religious zealots whose barbarism towards other faiths and women made them pretty unpleasant and their support of terrorism made them valid targets but our troops just can’t control the locals in the same way. we can kill the terrorists who used to rule with an iron fist but we’ve no replacement for that fist adn sooner or later (hopefully sooner) they will have to come home. if we leave now without some sort of effective government in place all that the troops have sacrificed will be wasted. whether or not we ought to have gone in at all is a moot point now. both parties are trying to capitalise on the situation and make the other look like bastards. soldiers are used to being used and sometimes thrown away by politicians. doesn’t make it right though.
er, Iraq and Afghanistan have cost most importantly soldiers lives but also the thick end of a hundred billion pounds.
the occupations have also cost the americans over a thousand billion dollars. well over.
not only is there no profit to be found in occupation but it is a prohibitively expensive policy.
do try to keep up cripple, why are you so slow?
keep up slowcoach!
run cripple, run!
1) If accused of something immediately accuse the person accusing you of the same thing.
2) Question their intelligence relentlessly. Never stop calling them stupid because that is the fundament of an adult discussion. Other insults that reduce their credibility are also ok.
3) Try to time your last post so you appear to have brutally put them down and scored the victory despite the lack of substance in your rhetoric.
4)Ignore what people reply to you with and use 1 or 2 keywords to make it look like your stream of obscenity is a witty putdown.
5) Take meds.
6) Repeat endlessly because being hated and laughed at is the closest thing to human contact you can ever know.
7) Graduate.
Respect the Troops! – I’m relatively new to the blog but from what I’ve seen, debating TAT is like wrestling a pig: you’ll only get yourself dirty and the pig will enjoy it.
“6) Repeat endlessly because being hated and laughed at is the closest thing to human contact you can ever know.”
lol. Nice.
never wrestle with a chimney sweep for you will never come out clean!
and even though conservative hq have instructed their trolls to not engage with me they still fucking do!
what’ that all about, eh?
fucking weird innit.
note to school of rhetoric: you better go to the school of etiquette you rude c’unt. posting the same post twice on the same thread is not acceptable, posting the same comment on different threads is just plain fucking vulgar.
show some manners to your host you rude bastard.
were you brought up in a barn?
thankyou.
I think McDoom needs to explain that. Ask him. He does not know.Neither does Millipede. Shall we have a text vote?
What are we fighting ‘for’ in Afghanistan? Do tell. Can’t be much as it’s being done on the cheap.
Barack is putting 70,000 troops in by the end of the year. Is that wrong?
We were prepared to spend 30 years in Northern Ireland. Was that a waste of money?
Your analogy to Kashmir is pointless. We do not claim to own Afghanistan,or want to be there permanantly. A clear mission would allow the costs and effort to be properly planned. Still,only had 3 years to do the planning? Presumably the first two would be spent awarding the contract to consultants?
Who said ‘not a shot will be fired’ A Labourtude minister I believe.Only marginally less informed than you. If anyone is posturing on corpses it’s you.
Unfair to ALDI. They pay their floor staff about £2 an hour more than the big three, don’t waste money on non-essential store fittings, let word-of mouth do their advertising…. in short provide a service and not an “experience”.
As a result, the customer pays about 20% less for the weekly shop for a few more minutes in the store.
Glad you enjoyed the event and how I wish I could have been there – I LOVE KARAOKE and hope to be able to join you at a similar event in the near future mayhap. Be warned, once I start singing, you’ll have to physically separate me from the mic (after several pints of course).
Gawd bless you guv’nor and quite surprised you’re able to surface so early!!
OMG !!
You gotta vivid imagination , darlin !
Bet ya woz tucked up in bed by nine wiv ur Horlicks
E x .
Get lost saddo
o/t, Freddie, looks you’ll be getting the ball this morning rather than this afternoon.
England 6 for 2 off the first 2 overs this morning
374/8
Thank fuck for Blowers. One national treasure that Sky didn’t get their thieving hands on.
I would add Agnew and CMJ to the national treasure chest.
Looks like another valiant last wicket stand from the English – well done to the coaches for showing the bowlers how to bat!
I’ve been modded. Sorry if i suggested you fart whilst in the spare room.
A fiver for a Cohiba. A FIVER. Christ. I must have been pissed. I hope you enjoyed it.
Good times.
That’s quite cheap
Couldn’t have been genuine. I used to pay 30 quid a pop for Cohiba Lanceros and that was a good 5 years ago.
Ha. Us Irish have horse-trading in our genes.
Shouldn’t that be we Irish?
Mr Fawkes, I strongly hope that last night’s proceedings were devoid of the same crudity on display here!
You surely deserve the hols Mr Fawkes, but this was released yesterday, coincidentally after the last PMQs before the summer break:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/goodwin-dined-at-chequers-while-rbs-was-losing-16324bn-1750092.html
PS Guido and others who care: I don’t want to brag about my name, but with an election coming soon, likely this autumn to prevent updating the nation on the government’s finances, you should read up on postal votes and be prepared to investigate postal votes at the next election:
-amounts
-% of total vote
-% of votes per constituency
-% of votes in tightly contested constituencies
-patterns where labour or conservs or lib dems have majority
-who is counting them, whether envelopes are opened with reps from all parties present (at the last local elections there was a report a return officer opened them before election day itself).
Postal votes will be the next big scandal – Britain is gonna do a Florida 2000
Your point is very well made and extremely important. Should we be asking for international observers at polling stations and ballot counts?
What’s the protocol for this?
Can you just email the UN and ask?
Seriously though – it needs to be done, now that they’ve got away with the “lost register” at Glenrothes.
what is the protocol sarah?
the protocol is that SCUM TORY TROLLS LIKE YOU FUCK OFF TO CONSERVATIVEFOAM!
YOU FUCKING WANKER!
that, sarah, is the protocol.
go there now.
thankyou.
cripple.
Tat you twat, this is not a pro-Tory issue. You think all those independents you so fond of are going to get a fair shake of postal votes if this government has its way?
it is rather difficult to apply scrutiny to the subject when those controlling the process are thieving lying party scum.
innit.
SCRUTINY THROUGH INDEPENDENCE
FUCK THE PIGS – VOTE INDEPENDENT
you should be beginning to appreciate just how politically pure my theory is.
the patient, democracy, is ill and independent candidates represent the fresh blood that is needed to bring our democracy back to life.
if we keep pumping the poison of party politics into the system our democracy will surely die.
there is no other way.
TaT, we are talking about independent scrutineers not independent candidates.
I know you are not one for foreplay, but try to listen first: it will work wonders.
oh dear.
and who are these angels of democracy you waffle on about?
who are these independent scrutineers?
they are fucking party members you fucking stupid c’unts.
DOH!
you dopey fucking wankers.
WAKEY-WAKEY PARTY POLITICS MUST DIE FOR THE GREATER GOOD!
NO MORE PASS THE PARCEL MOTHEFUCKERS!
YOU ARE THE PAST – WELCOME TO THE FUTURE C’UNTS!
That, twit, is why we were pondering INDEPENDENT observers, not party ‘scrutineers’. The point being, our electoral system is now sufficiently questionable to warrant the same treatment as any African state.
Read first, then abuse as appropriate.
Oh, and Sarah deserves an apology.
sarah is a troll.
sarah is fair game.
and so are you now fuck off scum.
thankyou.
sarah can have an apology after she gags on my big red bellend.
DIRTY TORY PARTY CRIPPLE
and you can OBSERVE
you dopey twat c’unt
thankyou.
2.24pm thief,
final warning.
do not abuse the hospitality you are so generously offered, c’unt.
thankyou.
I’m very brave me, issuing warnings and calling people cripples etc while safely sat at my computer. Truth is I am a sad-sack billy no mates who only does it to pass the time while I download kiddie porn.
To be honest it’s only a matter of time before I’m doing time in HMP Belmarsh’s nonce wing.
3.02pm thief.
I think we shall just leave that one hanging.
what an unpleasant character you are.
think up your own name and post your garbage under that.
and you talk of bravery?
cretin.
rule number 9: always be louder and more obnoxious than whoever you are talking to. never ever stop being offensive, it’s your substitute for reason.
an appropriate response to TAT:
#292Scorched Earth says:
July 16, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Go back to whining that people here should stop picking on you because you are a juvenile, little twat.
So fuckity bye, piss off and go and see if your mummy has mde you a bowl of jelly and let the adults talk about the subject which was Blair and his Presidency of Europe.
Not your desperate need of Ritalin and the resulting utterly pointless “look at me !” dribbling twatty posts.
you are a tory hq computer programme, right?
you are correct TAT. tory HQ decided to downgrade your threat level to ‘can be suppressed and discredited by a non-sentient entity’. you aint worth the effort to set a human as your counter because your so laughably stupid and obnoxious. please TAT, take an overdose of whatever meds you take. You know you can’t handle living and it would be a kindness to your family if you ended it without humiliating them for another however many years.
but if what you say is true then why do you respond to my posts at all?
eh?
DOH!
DOES NOT COMPUTE…..MALFUNCTION…EXTERMINATE EXERTMINATE!
you silly torydalek, you just pulled your own wires out!
what a cretin.
Excellent point. I’ll bet the next election will positively reek of Florida 2000.
It’s not just postal voting that sucks. The whole system is as two-bob as it could get.
In June at my voting station, the ballot boxes were made of plastic, sealed by cable ties – and there was a pile of cable ties on the table.
I sent an e-mail through the Electoral Commission’s website asking what laws govern the security of ballot boxes.
No response – quelle surprise!
Yeah, but some types of ties are individually and uniquely numbered. They must have used the numbered type or the whole system is wide open to abuse.
See the scandal Labour committed in Glenrothes. Half the town was miraculously on holday and had applied for a postal vote and then all voted Labour! Oh and then the records conveniently went missing!
Bannana republic.
Too true ever .If Cameron is stitched up after the warning of the shenanigans at Glenrothoes,he will only have himself to blame.
Do we honestly think the police who have been subjugated by New labour as an instrument of government, not law are really going to investigate postal vote fraud.
Labour activists have been found guilty of postal voting irregularities at previous elections, but none resulted in jail time.
Brown is not going to allocate funds to Local Councils to conduct postal vote spot checks prior the count as he is the major beneficiary
I think you might be interested in looking at our website http://www.votingfraud.org.uk I particulary draw your attention to our postal vote competition
I have been Project Officer for a Stamp Out Voting Fraud campaign for the last 11 months and the Government have acted in terms of the recent Political Parties and Elections Bill after constant lobbying.
However there is much to be done! Please support our campaign
I see General Dannatt is warning of failure in Afghanistan if gordon continues to refuse to fund the additional resources that the army needs. I bet gordon is really frustrated that he daren’t throw his mobile phone at the Head of the Armed Forces.
And now another soldier has died in Helmand. ++sad++
And gordon’s not listening as usual. He’s busy planning his holiday in the Lake District. No doubt he’ll be hiring a private jet to take him there too .
And wouldn’t you just know the pupetee would join in with
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8155101.stm
Lord Mandelson told the BBC the last thing troops needed was for opposition parties to seek “political advantage” on issues relating to Afghanistan, rather than giving united backing.
They really don’t give a f*ck as long as they think the proles perceive them as being all things to all men, saving the fucking world. Perhaps Gordo’s minions should point him to the Army Rumours site where they’ll learn just how much contempt those serving hold him and others in.
Sorry, puppeteer not pupetee, managed that typo without a hangover too!
You have my deepest respect. Your Child is out their risking life and limb for these engrained twats of all flavours. Protecting the liberties and essential truths these bastards only mouth.
RESPECT!
Sorry I couldn’t make it, but I’d only have ended up punching some of your other contributors on the nose.
Was the Pope there? He was pissed last night and fell over breaking his wrist.
He could not have fallen over – he’s infallible.
Nah. Just a bunch of middle-aged saddos.
As the personification of God on earth, it’s simply impossible. The story’s obviously been made up.
Which bit’s made up? The “god” bit, or that the pope represents Him?
He could not have fallen over – he’s infallible
What like a Lilo?
like a weeble?
Shit. The following got modded in its original form:
“And apart from anything else, Cat-hol-ics don’t drink al-co-hol.”
I give up.
So who was there Guido? anyone interesting?
I’m so hung-over I can’t even reply in the right place.
Glad you had a good time, Guido. I agree with you on Pimms and Guinness. Something Mrs News introduced me to several years ago.
I used to do this when I was labour
yes yes ys Abdul Mohamed Yassi was labour
it is called singing in your wind
may allah fuck all you infidels where the sun dont shine
No Friday caption comp Guido? Head a bit sore perhaps? Falling down on the job again old chap?
Yeah. It’s coming. I’m just giving myself a head start in thinking up something unfunny.
you just succeeded!
well done cripple.
very good.
Hiya TAT x .
That ain’t really Guido , is it ??
E x .
***CLAPS***
HAhahahaaaaqaaa!!!!!!” may your wife have many camels El TAT! HAhhaaaaaaa!!!
Fuck off Abdul Mohamed Yassi. While you’re out get me 20 Camel lights.
12.23pm thief,
you cheat me once, shame on me.
you cheat me twice you get modded like a motherfucker.
Where was my invite..?
Just to give a tip too this article, the article is shit and self congratulating but the comments are priceless.
http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=1&storycode=43985&c=1&dsq=12812767#comment-12812767
Tell the journos and corrupt politicos exaclty what you think!
Very sorry tohavemissed it. Bet I felt a lot less “special” than you did this morning though.