April 15th, 2009

Save Draper! Oh, Too Late. Goodbye Dolly!

derek_draperGuido was too late to get the “Save Draper” campaign going.  People don’t realise what a disaster this is – what will Guido do for comedy material?

Labour’s general-secretary Ray Collins has thrown him overboard already.  In an NEC announcement leaked to Iain Dale, rather than LabourList, the entertainment provided by Derek was brought to an end.

Ray Collins, General Secretary of the Labour Party,

“As you will recall from November’s NEC Away Day, last year Derek Draper volunteered one day a week of his time to Labour HQ on an unpaid basis. He subsequently left Victoria Street to set up the Labourlist blog.  Since then he has offered advice and opinion on an adhoc basis which ended in March of this year and will not be sought in the future.

“I receive advice and opinion from many Labour Party supporters in my work as General Secretary but I decide what advice I take or seek and act in a manner appropriate with my values and those of the Party which certainly does not include smears or personal attacks. I want to reiterate that Derek Draper does not hold a position or role with the Labour Party and this will remain the case.

“To make clear Labourlist is an independent left-of-centre website and blog. The Labour Party did not fund its activities. What the Party has supported is an effort to promote left-of-centre bloggers more generally by bringing interested supporters together at a series of events.

“I absolutely support the Prime Minister’s view that scurrilous rumour, gossip and personal attacks have no place in politics and no place in the Labour Party.”

Psychologies magazine, where Derek Draper had a regular column, announced today that:

“Derek’s position is being investigated independently by the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists to reveal if he really is guilty of the allegations made about him, what the background and details of the story are, and how all of this affects his standing as a therapist.”

Guido doesn’t have any psychotherapy qualifications, so this is not a professional judgement.  In Guido’s opinion a man who thinks smearing an innocent woman over mental health issues is “absolutely brilliant” is not fit to deal with vulnerable people.  The BACP has been dragging its feet over concerns that Draper lied about his qualifications.  It is a fact that Draper was expelled from his course at the Wright Institute (in Berkeley, not at Berkeley).

His desk is already on Ebay


691 Comments

  1. 1

    I’m sure he’ll be back, in some capacity.

    • 16
      Loftus Road says:

      As a clown? A public urinal?

      • 163
        Captain Mannering Warmington on Sea Homeguard. says:

        I sometimes wonder how all these hoons and clowns manage to sleep at night, each one one so intent at tearing and stabbing away at the next or busy troughing away at the nearest swill bucket (paid for by you and I). Hear in Warmington we prefer to drink hot sweet tea and smile at the terrible carnage they create for themselves, while we keep our guard up against gerry launching one of nasty sneak attacks.

        Pike you stupid boy, put that bath plug down, you know where its been.

        Sgt Wilson arrest the next psychotherapist you see.

        Corporal Jones watch where you shove that bayonet.
        “But Capt Mannering Mr Timney likes it up him”

        Godfrey you may do as Mr Oaten asks. Just make sure you claer up afterwards.

      • 169
        Gordon says:

        NOOOoooo, not as a public urinal. Didn’t Phil Spector go nuts after being used as a urinal while he was younger. Garroway doesn’t deserve to “kiss the pistol”

      • 418
        Citizen 2 says:

        If his back is up against the wall, he could sell some dirt. If he can screw Gordon expect to see a Dr Kelly moment.

      • 621
        A.F says:

        I should think its fragrant Kate who’s going bonkers.

    • 67

      I’m laughing so much it hurts

    • 131
      Anonymous says:

      Simply not possible. That picture with the life-belt has loser written all over it.

      • 188
        Boudicca says:

        Goodbye Dolly we must leave you, though it breaks our hearts to see you go
        Something tells me you’re no longer needed, in Labour or on the Politics Show
        The last few days have been delightful as we watched you lie and spin away
        Now your smearing days are over, it’s Goodbye Dolly Dra….per!

      • 601
        Anonymous says:

        A classic picture, says 1000 words…all of them loser.

        David
        http://www.newsjunction.co.uk

    • 170
      Spindoctored says:

      As a member of the Berkeley Hunt?

    • 218
      Lord of the Flies says:

      Draper / Watson / Guido / McBride

      why is British politics being run by fat slobs obsessing on their computers?

      • 232
        vervet says:

        But what about McSnotty ?

        Oh yes – sorry – he doesn’t do PCs, only fat felt-tips …

      • 246
        Lochduart says:

        re 218 Because us fat slobs care about what happening to ths once fair Country. Go off and have a pint down the Labour Club ( NO SMOKING To preserve the lives of the few Old Labour voters left)

      • 528
        Steak and Chips says:

        Lochduart

        but do you care enough about your once fair Country to go and live in Ireland?

    • 249
      liebourlisted says:

      Not easily.

      Seen the buyers lining up for his book on Amazon?

      The reviews are, well lets say somewhat short of complimentary, and the price seems to keep dropping as a result.

      Ah poor Drippy, failed on all fronts — our days are going to be so much gloomier.

    • 286
      Rembrandt says:

      Fucking hoon. Good riddance to the turd, useless self-effacing shit he is. He can ride a car bonnet and get rammed into a wall for me and burst into flames – and I actually would enjoy pissing all over him after that. Fucking loser.

      • 417
        Faux Cul says:

        I am told it is compusory reading at the Dignitas “Hotel California” in Switzerland.

        I am told that personal chek outs are down and revenues are up

    • 351
    • 386
      Cassandra King says:

      Gus O’Donnel could use a slimy slug like Draper, perhaps he has a bright future as a camp comandante in one of the planned nu cconcentration camps for deniers and assorted anti social elements/counter revolutionaries/peoples enemies. All Draper needs is a splash of civil service whitewash and he is good to go!

    • 398
      IRB says:

      Not this time. He doesn’t have much more than year to do it.

    • 419
      Anonymous says:

      In fact, Why not start a ‘Bring Back Draper’ campaign now?

      Surely there must be some position open for him within ZaNuLab?
      Something with young people perhaps?
      Maybe organising lists of candidates to parachute into safe seats?

      • 501
        Anonymous says:

        He could re-erect felled ‘Vote Labour’ yard signs at the next election.

      • 520
        Anonymous says:

        I wouldn’t want him allowed around kids/young people. What sort of an example would he provide? Lying/smearing is good? No thanks.

      • 526
        Kingbingo says:

        Perhaps if Dolly wants to make some money rather than writing a dross book like this he should get a real job. I hear that Guidos site is now getting so much traffic that it keep crashing, seeing as Dolly has some blog site experience maybe he could work for Guido?

    • 452
      Labour Postal Voting Scam says:

      O/T
      Coming soon to the Big Guido Screen

      38,700 Google hits for “Labour Postal Voting Scam”

      If the Lying Nazty Party thugs are not stopped the country will become a Glenrothie fiefdom.

      • 507
        Anonymous says:

        We will require an International Election Observation Commission over here

      • 590
        Talwin says:

        The Electoral Commission. (www.electoralcommission.org.uk)

        ‘Our aim is integrity and public confidence in the democratic process’

        ‘We work to’ :- ‘Set the standard for running elections and report how well this is done’

        ‘Our Objectives’: ‘Well-run elections and referendums which pr
        oduce results which are acceptable’

        * * * * * * *
        Accredited observers. Need to be over 16. Apply to Local Returning Officer. Can observe ‘Proceedings at the poll’; ‘Proceedings at the issue and receipt of postal ballot papers’; ‘Proceedings at the count’.

        The matter of observers is obviously down to the organisation of each of the political parties. The Tories will need to get theier act together.

        However, the deep suspicion, held by many, regarding New Labour and iffy postal votes tactics, the Electoral Commission cannot fail to recognise the heads-up it has been given. They must me made to meet all their responsibilities under the criteria set out above. Let’s see.

    • 456
      Pavlovs Cat says:

      A view from the Hoon infested wilderness. From here it looks like the Hoons sacrificed one compromised spin doctor and one self delusional geek in exchange for having the expense row dropped from the very, very short attention span of the electorate. Double bath plugs all round on Jaquis expense claim….

    • 523
      rb says:

      I reckon you’re right Ashley. Apparently he took his liebourlist pc with him – first instinct is that he ws protecting himself. Reality might be that he now has some ammo. Given that he is obsessively self-promoting I bet there is more to come.

    • 611
    • 682
      Anonymous says:

      I think that Oil Derrick could have a lucrative new career advertising Timotei

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    I almost feel sorry for him – who will provide the entertainment on the ‘Daily Politics’ showdowns from now on ??

    Maybe Andrew Neil can induce Tom Watson to appear ?

    • 70

      I believe that “Dolly” will have an exit plan,but I’m sure the Guido will be aware of
      a ‘blogger’ scorned, and I await more dirty tricks from Mr Draper….. a book on how to blog perhaps ?

    • 106
      Farmer says:

      My crops are fucked, his pure shite was classic, they just don’t make it like they use to.

      I’ll give Dolly a job, at minimum wage, as a crop fertiliser and scarecrow.

      • 231
        Ivor Phartparp says:

        If he takes you up be sure to put an ingredients label on your produce to that effect.

    • 266
      Lochduart says:

      Re PostNo. 2 You Cannot be Serious This so called programme has never never ever got a truthfull answer from any of their so called guests. The only time that Andrew Neill shows any spunk is late night on a Thursday, to late for Paw Broon to be up watching
      and the rest of the spook brigade are down at the “Westminster Arms” plotting more harm to the English voters (LARGE ONES ALL ROUND LANDLORD) Sorry to Ian Hislop for pinching his line.

    • 403
      Anonymous says:

      The poor soul might need therapy or counselling
      Can BACP reccomend anyone….

    • 676
      Wossat? says:

      There’s a spelling mistake on the cover of his psychodrivel booke. One “F” too many…

  3. 3
    Mitch says:

    His publishing seems doomed too have a walk to Amazon and chuckle.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/1848500440/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

    poor man will need counselling soon

    • 47
      Derek Draper is on Holiday says:

      yeh well fuck you lot of widowlickers at least im crying into Kate’s fab tits and dont u just wish that was u!

      Tra laa!

    • 174
      Anonymous says:

      Nevermind counselling – you can read the first few pages if you click on the “Click to look inside” button…

      http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/reader/1848500440/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-page

      Count how many times the word “Me” or “I” appear in the first couple of pages…

      What a Tosser

      • 222
        ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:

        Did you read this shyte? My eyes. It’s like a Private Eye piss-take written by a ten year old. ffs.

      • 288
        W Mitty says:

        Now it would appear to the outsider that a reader of this blog might be predisposed to view any work created by Mr Draper as crass.

        I won’t be changing any opinions I am afraid.

      • 306
        W Mitty says:

        Pray silence for Mr Derek William Draper

        I have just decided to give up smoking to regain the 9 mins 42 second I wasted watching this testicular offering.

        I like the “god forbid Guido ever leads on a story” (or something like that) quote. And it was less than a month ago

      • 573
        Alibarbs says:

        ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:
        April 15, 2009 at 11:27 pm

        Did you read this shyte? My eyes. It’s like a Private Eye piss-take written by a ten year old. ffs.

        Yet you choose to read it when you could be reading something you approve of. You don’t have to visit this site.

        Moron.

      • 666
        ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:

        alibarbs, it was Draper’s book site – pay attention

      • 673
        Alibarbs says:

        ragged trousered philhoontherapist,

        Oops, my apologies :)

        /blush

      • 680
        Dolly - There’s that creep who nicked our chips says:

        He’s had that same shirt on for MONTHS.
        He must be bowfing !

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Excellent Ebay, a little classic.

    • 5

      Well Anonymous you are now in Norman Tebbitworld where all Tories can hit on each other in a jolly spiffing incestuous way…oh mummy!

      • 24
        Adrian Prole says:

        Could we have that in english, please?

      • 38
        Nursey (prep school) says:

        Get back to your dorm freak!

      • 124
        Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

        Are we pronouncing your name correctly yet.?

      • 148
        Anonymous says:

        Your mum’s going to be so mad if she finds you on her computer at this hour.

      • 177
        Socialism killed 100m in 20C, Capitalism destroys poverty says:

        What are you talking about? Norman Tebbitworld? ‘Jolly Spiffing’?

        Was that meant to make ‘Anonymous’ seethe? masturbate? question their self-worth?

        I can only assume you are a ZaNuLiebor supporter who has found this blog from all the coverage in the dead-tree press and have decided to “have a go at all the reactionaries who just don’t understand what this government has done for them”.

        If so, you are a Tool. You certainly don’t seem to realise the depth of feeling against politicians in general, but in particular the venomous, lying, destroyers that are in office at the moment.

        Go into any pub and try and say something good about this government – but make sure you’ve called 999 beforehand – you’ll need it.

      • 179
        Gunny says:

        Kris,

        was that it, was that the best you could do? Nip down to Tesco’s they sell everything now; buy an intellect and retry.

      • 283
        Lochduart says:

        I am astonished that Dr Ali has allowed you out unsupervised from Ward 8 Kettering General Hospital and to gain access to a Cybernet Cafe. ( Suffer’s from
        a feeling he is normal but parent’s disagree)

      • 434
        Mr Ned says:

        Kris, if your IQ ever gets as high as 10, SELL!!!

    • 6
      sealo0 says:

      Yes but have you read the questions?

      worth the trouble.

  5. 7
    PK says:

    awesome, ta ta Dolly you hoon.

    • 262
      Peter says:

      Have I missed something here?

      I thought Dolly was a genetically modified Sheep that prematurely aged and died and went to heaven.

  6. 8
    Rexel 56 says:

    Oh Guido you could have waited until we’d had 1,000 comments on the last post!

  7. 9

    Have a look at this little tribute Run Derek Run

  8. 10
    Chubbies says:

    Derek Draper says he is taking the time to consider whether he should resign from LabourList. It would be interesting to ask him who he intends to send the resignation letter to. Presumably he could choose to direct it to any of the following – the directors or the owners/shareholders or the financiers. Would he like to let us know the identity of the appropriate addressee.Perhaps he will send it to himself.

    • 157
      nell says:

      1.Maybe Charlie Whelan and/or Andrew at Unite – who are so not funding him – or are they?. Do the Unite members know it? Even if you do Unite members – what can you do about it ?- you are just victims without backbone. 2. Maybe Damien McBride in the Cellars or Attic of Downing Street waiting to be re-instated, but still working. The boneless Civil Service is supporting this. Of course it is – Gordon has a revolver to their heads 3.The Labour committees of the Midlands and/or East Northants, osteoporosis has already set in here and everybody is running for cover – cowards that you are.
      4. Maybe all of you. Almost certainly. Good night. tomorrow I am going to set my cabbage plants. That way the cabbages will be ready to throw at this expensive bag of rubbish and wind at the next election. I will happily freeze my cabbages first, as someone suggested on here earlier this morning. Good night. God Bless.

    • 237
      anonymouse says:

      They’ve changed the name to labourlistingbadly.fc.uk

    • 251
      Agent 99 says:

      UNITE is mentioned in the postal votes scam by Dmail for Slotgobs Stepmother

      I think I see a trend here…..

  9. 11
    I'm Nuts About Hazel says:

    The man is a legend – his demise from the blogs will make all our worlds much less amusing.

    Adios Draper – you’ve been angry, bitchy, stupid, but above all, and without even realising it, bloody funny.

    • 147
      Oldstreet says:

      hear hear

      that twat is hysterical. Pity now that he is finished the laughs are going to run out.

      Maybe if he disappears someone more deserving can have a go on garraway without having to stir drapers porridge.

    • 159
      Anonymous says:

      You people…. the glass is always half empty!
      A new Dolly will arise from the ashes. ZanuLab has an inexhaustible supply. Mark old Anonymous’s word.

      • 252
        Harry Potters Mate says:

        I shall have to ask my young daughter what the Harry Potter spell is to rid of us of him once and for all.

        Or is he gasp! Vordersomebloodything or other in disguise

      • 553
        Minekiller says:

        @253

        One more poof and he’ll dissapear

  10. 12

    I’ll give you a quid mate

    • 43
      CD says:

      I’ll give him until a month after his wife’s next baby is born before she kicks the twat out – with any luck he’ll be left with nowt the stronzo! Serve the Huhne right for being the biggest twat that has ever graced this site……….well I’m sure Guido will reserve comment on that one!

      • 187
        Fiona Phillips says:

        Kate’ll throw Dolly out with the pram when she gets back to GMTV.

      • 257
        Jackboots Spliff says:

        Well… as long as its not with the bathwater because I have a plug spare to keep the bathwater.
        Its Ok I can get another on expenses

  11. 13
    Frank Fartwell says:

    “Guido doesn’t have any psychotherapy qualifications, so this is not a professional judgement.”

    Guido, anyone that thinks smear tactics were a super bitchen idea is no more a therapist than you or I am. In my opinion, this whole psychotherapy business is an area where qualifications count for fuck all. If I need sage advice I go to my nan.

    That’s part of the trouble these days – anyone can call themselves anything. I mean, the bloke that comes to plumb my washing machine in is apparently an “engineer”

  12. 14
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Oh well at least we know who funds Total Politics – none other than Lord Ashcroft the brave defender of free speech who is not scared to take action against those websites involved in defamation

    http://www.caribbeannetnews.com/breaknews-15371–37-37—breaknews.html

    Wonder if he might turn his attention to those British bloggers who are not above the publication of the occaisonal bit of defamation – Guido’s comments on McBride and alcohol might be a good place to start my Lordship.

    • 19
      McBride Pride says:

      Shorry wash shomone talking about me?

      Same again barman…

    • 23
      Zeno says:

      TBNGU – what are you going to do for a living now Derek’s out of a job and his desk’s been sold on eBay?

    • 45
      Notinmyname says:

      Tell Lordy that whilst he is the chairperson I will not even consider voting Conservative.

    • 56
      Sarah says:

      Defamation? Just take a look at any recent photo McBride: puffy face, broken veins, overweight and sweaty. Poster boy for alcoholism, I would have thought. That, and the fact that he is well known in every pub in Westminster. But if that’s wrong, I’m sure Guido would be pleased to print a clarification, though proof would be required.

      • 61
        tory boys never grow up says:

        I bow to your expertise regarding every pub in Westminster :)

      • 77
        Sarah says:

        Purely research, I assure you. That, and having a hubby in the filth, meant many long evenings at various hostelries in the area.

      • 118
        Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

        Misunderstood the 5 a day.

      • 129
        Anonymous says:

        And no tan. Was he really abroad at all?

      • 185
        jgm2 says:

        Yep. Five pints of cider or five glasses of wine does not count as five portions of fruit or vegetables.

        But it is much more fun.

      • 385
        Minekiller says:

        Sarah @77….so you husband was an MP?

      • 585
        Sarah says:

        @Minekiller,
        Not an MP – I have some standards! though the expenses would have been lovely. No, he worked for the Met, in a mouse infested, rotting office, where water gushed through the ceiling every time it rained – close to the uninsulated electricity cables. He almost got rickets from lack of vit. D. as the Brass has cunningly built a row of offices (which they were never in) along each windowed wall of the building.
        When I met him after work, he would blink in the fading sunlight like a newly excavated mole.
        Alcohol is the only known cure for this condition – hence my familiarity with Westminster pubs ;-)

    • 433
      Dick the Prick says:

      You love Derek, you want to hug him, you want to kiss him, you want him to hold you, to touch you, to keep you warm in his arms. You love him soo much but he doesn’t return your calls, reply to your letters, ignores your e-mail entreaties…. it’s sad really.

    • 547
      Anonymous says:

      Only if McBride can prove the comments to be untrue – and looking at him, I wouldn’t put a lot of money on that…….

  13. 15
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Anyone heard from Mandy about his favourite?

    It would speak volumes if he couldn’t tear himself from his current yachting excursion for a comment.

  14. 17
    Anonymous says:

    I would also almost feel sorry for him had he not thought fit to attack the mental health status of – in fact it doesn’t matter whose mental health he was attacking – it’s a disgrace and it’s even more of a disgrace that our government could countenance it and shows how unfit for government it is.

    • 29
      Gordon Brown says:

      It was just a prank.

      • 42
        Gordon Brown says:

        Sorry, I meant a ham shank

      • 64
        Anonymous says:

        Will that be in Labour’s election manifesto next year?

        “Sorry about the last 13 years, but we were only playing a joke on you all. Honestly, you should see the look on your faces! Vote for 5 more years of hilarity!

        Here are the good things Labour has done since coming to power in 1997:

        - Cheese was invented by Gordon Brown. And ice cream.

        - We invented electricity. Yes, we invented it. That Faraday fellow only invented those horrid electric shocks which kill people, and started in America.

        - We abolished sexually-transmitted diseases. Except in emails, but that’s alright because they’re only about Tories.

        - England won the world cup in 1966 thanks to Gordon Brown. He decreed it should happen, because he supports England and thinks they are the bestest team ever, better than Scotland. Remember, England have scored lots of goals under Labour. The goals England have conceded started in America, which is all Thatcher’s fault. Boo to the horrid lady!

        - Gordon Brown has built lots of new hospitals and schools. They’re on display in the House of Commons creche, and everybody agrees he’s great with Lego.

        – We’ve even saved you the bother of voting. We’ll do it for you, using our fab new postal voting system.

        Vote Labour. We is grate, innit?”

      • 74
        Anonymous says:

        Put the horse away Gordon and go to bed

      • 171
        Farmer says:

        Oh, I forgot about the mother-load of fertiliser. The great McPork-Pie himself.

        Dolly, you are relegated to scarecrow.

        My farm is saved…..

    • 48
      Anonymous says:

      It is utterly disgusting and shows how cosy they find it sinking deeper in to the cesspit.

  15. 18
    Frank Fartwell says:

    You’re right those amazon reviews are a hoot!

  16. 20
    fidothedog says:

    The tramp leaves, still at least he still has good reviews of his books on Amazon!

  17. 21
  18. 22
    king chillout says:

    here is a tip, Derek…..

    next job interview…how about washing the hair ?

    • 26
      king chillout says:

      then again…what the hell are you actuallu qualified to do ?

    • 87
      jo public says:

      mm a life of shity nappies and puking as daddy day care
      no difference to no 10 with gord (nappies)and mcsnide(puking on special brew)

  19. 25
    So17 says:

    A horrible little toad who even when kissed by a beauty stayed a horrible little toad.
    No mercy for this scum.

    • 51
      Anonymous says:

      The fragrant Mrs Derek Draper, doyenne of TV and all things hyped and very New Labour friendly?

  20. 28
    mushroom says:

    Well Done,
    The ebay add is one of the funniest things I have seen for a long time.
    You should get an award.
    Thanks……………………

  21. 30
    Frigging in the Rigging says:

    Draper is licking windows in his new departure into the music industry:

    http://www.recessmonkey.com/

  22. 33
    Anders says:

    Good riddance!

  23. 34
    Grenville says:

    Hi Guido – well done on this one. You’ve won.

    BUT.

    Kicking a man when he’s down is pretty low grade; as low as are these types over whom you have triumphed. There’s no need to stoop to their level, even if they deserve it.

    You’re not there yet but you might inadvertantly be getting a bit close……

    This is supposed to be a helpful tip: you’ve done an absolutely first class job and loads of people are greatly in your debt.

    • 63
      Ivor Phartparp says:

      I have to agree, Grenville. Let his missus and her friends take over.

    • 95
      StrongholdBarricades says:

      he tried to throw him a life preserver

      very hard to kick a drowning man

    • 192
      jgm2 says:

      I disagree. As Mandelson shows it is far better to sew a cannonball into the fuckers underpants and throw him overboard. Otherwise they rise, like the undead and plague God’s creation again.

      Cannonball for Draper. And McBride. And the Maximum fucking Idiot.

      • 230
        ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:

        I disagree too. Stake through the arse, sorry the heart, the only way.

    • 458
      Mr Ned says:

      I also disagree. When killing parasites, such as headlice or fleas or labour spinmeisters, one should not stop when the job is nearly done. Their numbers will recover and one would rue the day that one had a chance to finish off these foul wretches. Do not forget that the country is suffering under labour and people are dying in the streets due to knife and gun crime that labour have done NOTHING to stop. We are haemorrhaging jobs, our children are being dumbed down, the police turned into a fascist enforcement force, health service micro-managed to the point where people are left to rot in their own shit until they die so that an overpaid fuckwit “management consultant” can tick more boxes and claim more expenses and get a bigger bonus.

      Draper is ENCOURAGING these fuckwits in power and trying to lie and cheat more people into voting for them.

      Keep going Guido!!!

  24. 35
    Beness says:

    Might give a clue to his mindset if he still tries to hang on. Mind you he has tried to tough it out so far, that probably gives a clue.

  25. 36
    Dolly's Butt Plug says:

    If he goes down I’m going to busy.

    p.s. He hasn’t obtained any pecuniary advantage has he (from the taxpayer) for services rendered to the No.10 bunker?

    • 264
      88p bathplug (10% off) says:

      Need a few extra ones deary? Special offer this week… hurry though ends Friday

  26. 39
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    http://www.torybear.com/2009/04/unite-turns-on-draper.html

    Maybe he racked up the bill on his credit card, so the credit crunch may yet bite too

    Such karma

    • 245
      Ivor Phartparp says:

      I’m glad I’m not a publisher who gives out advances. I’m not suggesting for a moment that his publishing house would have done an advance to him. I could not imagine for one second any one would. God forbid that anyone should not be familiar with a bird in the hand and all that.

    • 279
      Only asking? says:

      As you mention it which CC did the Redrag shitesite go to in the HofC?

  27. 40
    Cock Piss Partridge says:

    Job done Guido. Now go for the puppeteers, not just the puppets.

  28. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Isn’t it time to nail the Bride’s office mate-ie the third monkey?

  29. 49
    Anonymous says:

    I think Danny Finkelstein has a good point – it is Charlie Whelan who next needs to be brought to account – he has gotten away scot free so far.

    It should be payback time – what goes around, comes around.

    • 110
      City of Vice says:

      Fuck Finklestein – let those MSM wankers make their own ‘hits’. They’ve got enough suppressed stories to use.

  30. 52
    Jumbo says:

    Good job. Now for Toenails.

  31. 54
    jo public says:

    ah bless derek now everybody is shitting on you perhaps you didnt please your master enough such a shame to see such an educated good bloke thrown to the lions NOT!!!!!!

  32. 55

    Similar to that phrase “follow the money” is “follow Draper” – and thou shall be led straight to Labour sleaze.

    In some respects it is a shame that Draper is no more – he was the ideal “corruption indicator”.

    • 280
      Only asking? says:

      ahh but he is cast aside so available to spill all the beans.

      • 414
        Tin Cunliffe says:

        He was cast aside between 1998 until fairly recently. So seems unlikely.

        The journalist who broke the 1998 thought that there was a lot more behind the scenes in terms of cash for access. However, I’m wondering whether he was actually conned by a very intricate web of drapershit.

  33. 58
    The Ghost of Christmas Past... says:

    How Beautiful! Is it not?

  34. 59
    jo public says:

    “To make clear Labourlist is an independent left-of-centre website and blog. The Labour Party did not fund its activities. What the Party has supported is an effort to promote left-of-centre bloggers more generally by bringing interested supporters together at a series of events.

    so who did hold the labour cash then??????????

  35. 60
    Orwellian Pride, says:

    Congratulations again Guido!

    Wonderful result for all the patient hard work. The Great Man would be proud of you!

  36. 62
    Divorces-R-Us says:

    Yes Ms. Garraway, as long as you haven’t signed a pre-nup you should end up quids in, so to speak.

  37. 68

    If the rapid rebuttal team want to carry on, erm.. butting each other all night then of course they may. But it might be worth considering that Mr Draper has suddenly become a Dr Stephen Ward figure for the millennium.
    In the latest scandal at Number 10 the Prime Minister knows nothing.Tom Watson knows nothing. Charlie Whelan can’t recall any details. Ray Collins knows of no one by that name. Everyone knows that the central Christine Keeler character in McBride has already gone

    But Draper has suddenly found out how fair-weather his political friends were. They enjoyed his success, but don’t want anything to do with failure.
    And the story is still running! Can’t afford to lose Watson too. So a scapegoat is needed.
    Derek Draper fits so snugly into that sacrificial role.
    He’s had his funding, his sources, his big beast contributors, his accreditation and his credibility withdrawn.
    Labour politicians are denying they have even heard of him. A very large airbrush is being used right now to remove any embarrassing references of him from official Labour Party history. Why its just like old Soviet times.

    So, it might be worthwhile stopping posting shite for a moment and maybe log on to Job Centre Plus. Just while you still have free use of the computers. There won’t be any more pay checks after the weekend. The whole operation will be quietly wound up. I’m afraid its all over. Better take a box in tomorrow.

    And that recession you’ve been denying. Well its real. Might come as a bit of a shock.

    • 366
      Anonymous says:

      True, Bill – Draper should be in fear of his life right now, a lot of important people would find it very convenient if he committed sideyways.

    • 376
      caesars wife says:

      i think watson cannot escape , he is only in the broom cupboard at the moment , come out , come out Tom , Gus is trying hard , but it seems as though there is somthing about your job that is unavoidable .

      you didnt organise any labour mps to post on labour list did you?? did you ??

  38. 71
    Kates Cleavage says:

    Derek, you utter twat! (shakes head slowly before voting Conservative)

    • 287
      Deck chair on the patio says:

      I know his missus cannot be responsible for her twat of a hubby but boy this just has to be very, very negative for her potential advancement along the GMTV sofa.

      • 377
        Anonymous says:

        It’s great, he married her for advancement, she married him for something or other – both screwed.

  39. 75
    Howzat says:

    As ‘Cock Piss Partridge’ (oh! dear what an after the 9pm watershed ‘nom de blog’) said, please go for the puppeteers now Guido. And how about a petition to HM to dissolve parliament and call an early election??

  40. 76
    So17 says:

    Derek draper walked into the ‘RED LION’ pub wearing a new coat.
    I said ‘Dont that coat itch Derek?’
    ‘No’ he replied
    ‘Well it did when I fucking threw it out’ I said.

    The above story is fiction but hey what the hell Derek I’m sure you would find it ‘Brilliant’

  41. 78

    I have problem do I in solidarity, unfollow Dolly on twitter and do I unfriend him on facebook?

    Do I send the Learjet for Mrs Draper happily in the Canaries without Dolly?

    Perhaps Dolly will turn up as the Chef on GMTV or was it South Park?

    Love him or hate him, he has given us al hours of innocent fun. The problem now is for the not so innocent, still firmly in residence and spinning in Drowning Street…

    We may have won the battle but not the War so as Shaw Taylor once said
    “Keep ‘em peeled” and an earlier Hill Street legend once said “You be really careful out there…”. Guido really good advice take it to heart….

  42. 79
    The Ghost of Christmas Past... says:

    Thus i clothe my villany in old odd ends stolen forth from Holy writ and seem a saint when most i play the Devil!

    One minute Cock of the Walk, the next a feather duster!

    Now for the rest of the rotten bunch.

  43. 82
    Unsworth says:

    Nothing to worry about, Guido, there are plenty more clowns in Westminster to entertain you (and us).

  44. 84
  45. 85
    eyes of the world says:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/reader/1848500440/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-page

    Here is a link to dolly’s scrubbings check out the contents and number 31, He obviously does not act his age or is it he just has never grew up?

    • 119
      Anon says:

      Check out page 67!

      • 524
        eyes of the world says:

        Obviously dolly didn’t read his won book???

        Letting Go 19

        Letting it all Out 27

        Dealing with the Past 43

        Techno-Stress 55

        Being your own Worst Enemy? 67

        Crying Shame 71

        Making a Change 75

        The Go-Between 85

        Being Popular 89

        How much to Share 93

        Lost Boys 109

        Why we Read Misery Memoirs 143

        Do I need Therapy 157

        Truth in Therapy 165

        Falling in Love with your Therapist 173

        Copping with Shame 177

        Therapist heal thyself 193

  46. 86

    Oh no! What a shame.
    What am I going to do know?
    Dolly was such a good source of entertaining parody and I’m sure going to miss that egotistical twat in that respect.

    So I guess we won’t be seeing him over here anymore then?

  47. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Draper is a charlatan and a nasty, spiteful piece of work.

    If the BACP don’t disown him then they are a disgrace.

  48. 92
    Derek Draper says:

    spare 50p for a cup of coffee guv?

    • 103
      R.McGeddon says:

      You’re off your trolley, Dolly.

    • 468
      Mr Ned says:

      You will not find a cup of coffee for that price anywhere outside of the House of Commons canteens, Dolly. In the real world, that your sort are screwing up, a cup of coffee will be at least a quid for a small one.

      Reality bites hard, doesn’t it Dolly?

  49. 93
    City of Vice says:

    Guido -You forgot to add the ‘cross-hairs’ and ‘mission accomplished text’ to Draper’s picture, a la McBride mode…

    Draper is an idiot. It speaks volumes for Labour’s competence that they brought back that twat to take on seasoned bloggers at their own game, much less allow front up anything on Labour’s behalf in the media.

    You don’t take a penknife to a gunfight. Ha bloody ha!

    Draper’s demise will be bad news for the Tories – they might have to work for votes for a change with Draper gone. Draper was a great recruiting sargeant – for the Tories.

    Perhaps you add a ‘cross-haired’ pic of Watson just so he knows what’s coming to him? Would do the morale of the troops no end of good.

    • 277
      LITTLEWORTH says:

      Needs a Rogues Gallery doesn’t it really

    • 292
      Agent 99 says:

      No
      save the target sights for the biggies, more fun and wait for the next one.

      The guy / gal whoever is in them will shit themselves.

  50. 94
    Withnail says:

    Still no mention of this story on the BBC news website. Are you sure it’s true? ;-)

    • 476
      Mr Ned says:

      If the BBC are NOT reporting it, then it has a better than average chance of being true then. It’s when they DO report something that I have my doubts.

  51. 96
  52. 98
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    There’s only one thing left for him – he’ll have to join Cameron’s Tories.

    • 477
      Mr Ned says:

      Just as long as he waits until the day AFTER the next general election. Then he’s welcome to them.

  53. 99

    So that’s one contestant for the next ‘I used to be a celebrity get me out of here’
    Be great if Carol Thatcher was on again with him.

    • 112
      So17 says:

      Yeh, they can use Derek as the slimey shit poured on contestants when they get the questions wrong.
      Now Kate however,In the rock pool shower eating a kangaroos knob.
      shuffle,shuffle,shuffle.

    • 135

      In a way Draper’s demise started with Carol Thatcher…….

      ….. Carol said Golliwog, Mcbride told Draper to call Iain Dale a racist because Iain had blogged on the golliwog topic, we had some smears and then Guido double tapped Draper in the forehead.

      Draper won’t bear to hear that he was done over by “Thatcher”…..

      • 199
        jgm2 says:

        Yesssss. Like it. Took on the hate figure of the 1980′s bedwetters, now a poor old woman debilitated by age via the proxy of her daughter.

        And lost.

        Ahahahahahahaha.

        It’s all Thatcher’s fault you know.

        Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiings can only get betteeeeeeeerrrr!!

  54. 102
    Jumbo says:

    There’s nothing in Man in the Eye in this week’s Private Eye that we didn’t know from Guido. RIP Private Eye – you failed where Guido has succeeded

    • 122
      Heads on poles says:

      I cancelled my subscription some years ago after the Eye began to get very dull – very dull indeed.
      They’ve lost the edginess and appear to be frightened of coming up in front of the beak again.
      In fact, I think I’d find watching ‘The house doctor’ more controversial and revealing than reading the Eye.
      Shame really.

    • 272

      The Eye never found its teeth under New Labour – and there was usually more to go on than for most of the Conservative era.

      They are being found out by Guido and the web.

      • 282
        PEye says:

        Never understood why they didn’t move PE onto the web long ago – specially their “In the Back” section archive, hugely valuable material.

    • 475
      IRB says:

      On the downside it is rapidly turning itself into a print version of You & Yours. Evil Tesco, horrid advertisers forcing people to buy unhealthy food, nasty big business saying they are environmentally friendly when *gasp* they aren’t really. Throw in the rather dull in jokes and bitching about hacks no one else really cares about and you’ve pretty much got the next issue.

      On the upside there really are no other print newspapers that you can stomach reading. It isn’t much of an upside I’ll grant you.

      This week’s issue looks particularly lame. I saw that the Man In The Eye was Dolly and read on expecting some decent revelations about the weekend’s shennanigans only to be treated to two columns of stuff that happened three weeks ago. Oh dear.

    • 482
      Mr Ned says:

      The problem was, PE became a left-wing rag instead of a satire mag. When NL came to power, they never really had the heart to go for the jugular. Now they are a pale imitation of what they used to be.

      However, to be fair, with a Government this terrible, it is difficult for satirists to come up with stories that are both believable and yet more outrageous than the catastrophic levels of incompetence that are the actual stories that the labour maladministration produces.

  55. 104
    Anonymous says:

    As Labour claims it does not fund LabourLost Dripper can still carry on working there, so perhaps we can still have some fun!

  56. 105
    JD says:

    I love you, Guido and I want to have your children. This domolition of Brown’s empire is just the icing on the cake after the twelve years of ZanuLab political murder we have had to sit through.

  57. 108
    Mark says:

    I started to feel sorry for the poor guy, then I read this on his blog

    quote
    “Sunday 29th March
    Also, I was on Radio Five defending Jacqui Smith and talking about MPs expenses more widely”

  58. 109
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t like to kick a man when he’s down so I’d like to be able to say I have some sympathy for Draper, but I can’t. He is/was a nasty sneaky spiteful bullying misbegotten piece of shit – and those are only his good points. Oh & he’s still claiming his emails were hacked – no Derek, they weren’t – it’s just that some people you mix with do have some small spark of decency & they wanted to stop the smears before you unleashed them. Karma Derek – what goes around comes around.

    • 127
      City of Vice says:

      If the McBride/ Draper’s mails were hacked how come Nadine Dorries says she received calls from newspapers, some time ago, asking whether the allegations against her in the mails were true?

    • 302
      Anonymous says:

      He got wiped off Womans hour as well I heard

      FFS! Womans Hour????

    • 369
      Anonymous says:

      don’t like to kick a man when he’s down!!

      I do :D

      • 451
        Cato Street Conspirator says:

        It’s half past eight in the morning and bloody tears of laughter are running down my cheeks. This is fantastic. You’ve set me up for the day.

      • 604
        Anonymous says:

        I was amazed – ‘Licking Windows’ has been put up by LabourHome – truly all Draper’s chickens are coming home to roost. Obviously he never learned ‘Be nice to people on your way up, because you’ll meet the same people on your way down’.

  59. 111

    Being pedantic………..

    …………technically Gordon met Draper at Chequers for lunch and passed on his Jonah curse which doomed the aforementioned Derek.

    Well done for exploiting the Jonah effect so constructively Guido.

  60. 113
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    At first glance I thought it said

    …’Since then he has offered advice and opinion on an alcoholic basis which ended in March of this year and will not be sought in the future.’…

  61. 114
    A conceited, snivelling, lying, cheating, thieving little shit, says:



    Aye, ma’ canny head man is na’e more tha’ a memra’ fae me noo.

    In fact, I don’ b’leev’ ar’ iver’ met ‘im.

    But what need wood ar ha’ fer a’ shrink?


    But nae’ worries fa’ mae, cos’ mind ye. Ai’m nae’ bonkers! An’ nuthen’s’ ma fult ye understand!

    [Translation : I'm told that someone who purports to know me has been thrown overboard.

    Some say he was my shrink. But I have no recollection of ever having heard of him, let alone met him!

    In any case, someone wot is unique like me, - with a pin-sharp mind, supernatural intelligence, and the ability to see far into the future would have no need of a trick-cyclist.

    And in any case, nothing is my fault.

    Now, when am I next due to salvage the ravaged world economy?

    Oh Nurse, surely it can't be time to take my medication? Or will it be an injection again if I refuse?]

  62. 116
    J says:

    I am utterly thrilled and delighted that this tosser has gone.I had visions of him and Daemon…ooh sorry Damian McBride lying side by side on sofas in somewhere like Welbeck Street bemoaning their fates.Remember both appear to have no real grasp of reality.How could anybody go to the US for FIVE minutes and come back as a Psychotherapist-tothe-Gullible?.Are we to believe that DD is now an intellectual instead of a fat scruffy bearded turd?I am furious that he has brought proper psychotherapy into disrepute. My experience tells me that it takes TEN years to become a proper psychotherapist.They can help, believe me.As for their Labour connections..they are both chancers. I would say that DD is a very greedy man.

  63. 117
    bramhallbones says:

    ” Good Bye Dolly you must leave us
    Though it breaks your heart to go
    Something tells you you must leave us
    For the Fun to fight the foe
    See the soldier boys are marching
    And you can no longer stay
    Hark the bugle boys are calling
    Good bye Dolly today”

  64. 120
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    I have come to say goodbye, Dolly D,
    It’s no use to ask me why, Dolly D,
    There’s a murmur in the air, you can hear it everywhere,
    It’s the time to do and dare, Dolly D – so

    Courtesy of the late Will D Cobb, a true gentleman.

    AH (C)

  65. 121
    Hello, Dolly! says:

    Fuck off, Dolly!

  66. 123
    Anonymous says:

    http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/mirror-images/2009/04/derek-draper-labour-spin-docto.html

    Draper clearly photographed leaving his premises with his desk top computer.

    Why would he do that?

    • 259
      Wight Tory says:

      Cos the pendrive got lost in the post…The fik fukker hasn’t worked out that a laptop isn’t some tart shaking her arse

    • 310
      Agent 99 says:

      Quite simple

      He does not want it to fall into anyone’s hands. Hard drives and all that. He tried to hide it in a pretty bag as well (badly)
      The question though is a very good one however, the real question should be where was that computer actually going too? Wherever it was there is no longer any point in looking at that particular hard drive its blank already even if you should find it on a choo choo going south from Paddington central.

      Maybe the cab driver can help? I suspect a change of cabs en route though.

  67. 125
    It all started in America you bastards! says:

    I predict Draper will be given a job at the BBC. Look at Livingstone. Since that twat got booted out he’s never been off the BBC.

    Draper will start doing a special for BBC 3 on the benefits of Socialism or some other crap.

    The BBC always look after their own.

  68. 126

    The best thing about people like Derek Draper and Gordon Brown is their sheer entertainment value and extraordinary ability to produce (presumably) unintended-by-them hilarity. With both of them likely to be history shortly, one wonders who is the next potential Abbott and Costello waiting in the wings to assume their clown suit?

    • 140
      Shirking from Home says:

      And I thought I was going to miss Bush.

    • 145

      Ed Balls has plenty of open cast hilarity to mine.
      Michael Martin’s comedy seam will probably be exhausted at the same time as Brown’s, but Yvette Cooper is another rich source of amusement. Little furrowed brow as she struggles to remember the appropriate rehearsed answer to a question.

      But I expect the next nugget of potential humour to come from a reopened deep northern shaft.
      John Prescott hoping to take up a post as ‘Head of Tinternet, Blagging asnd Twatter ‘ could provide an inexhaustible supply of merriment.

    • 153
      chronic says:

      To the tune of “it aint half hot mum” Take a bow because the boys are are here the boys to entertain you.

  69. 128
    stepney says:

    The Mirror photo page is great and flags up the groovy question:

    Why was Draper removing his Hard Drive from his house and why was it in a lovely present bag?

    Was it a) because he’s going to give it to Guido as a leaving present?
    b) because he didn’t want the waiting press pack to get a glimpse that he was removing his computer?
    c) because he’s going on a booze cruise tomorrow and plans to dump it in the briny?

    Who leaves their house with a computer in a bag? At this stage of proceedings?

    which leaves d).

    Someone, take your pick from Watson, Brown – hey, who knows, even McDonnell – told him to get the thing out of the house so it could be “cleansed”.

    I have the feeling that a lot of hard drive cleansing has been going on recently.

    • 315
      Agent 99 says:

      I swear I never got this far down to read this before I posted to another above 124/260

      The question now must be why are the police not involved? Oh fuck me thats’s next week when they find no evidence. Well hush my mouth.. FFS

      Bit like last weekends bombers then

      HOONS!!!!!!!!!!

      • 490
        Mr Ned says:

        No that would be last weekend’s coffee drinkers. The police found the SUGAR!!!

    • 367
      Anonymous says:

      Nah, perfectly innocent – he’s been recording his new album on it :D

  70. 130
    generaldegaulle says:

    How would you like a few of our trawler men to sort your problems out?

  71. 134
    RGtx says:

    From the Daily Politics Show:

    Andrew Neil: “Derek Draper, the Labourlist its…, you work out of the labour party headquarters”
    Dolly: “No, of course we don’t work out of the labour party headquarters
    Andrew Neil; “Where’s your office?”
    Dolly: “Come on, can we get the basic facts right, Picadilly”

    Who, I wonder is funding office space in Picadilly?
    Do they have any comments, regarding Drapers’ recent behaviour?

    • 149

      Run out of Flow Media, Lower John St. W1, apparently. That’s Dolly & Kate’s media biz.

    • 166
      RGtx says:

      Does this mean, that donations to labourlist, are indirectly supporting Flow Media? Perhaps, Drapers’ claim, that he is editing the blog out of the goodness of his heart (bless his little cotton socks), is a little disingeneous?

      • 176

        If Unite aren’t funding it (which appears to rule out somebody who hates Charlie Whelan as the source of the leak), then who is? Interesting that Garraway was also at the Chequers lunch just after “SnotRag” was established.

        There’s more in this story.

      • 317
        Anonymous says:

        Unite implicated in getting postal votes for Cherie Blairs Stepmother for nomination to Parliament –DMail / YPost

        Fuck me you guys would be hopeless at jigsaws

        Follow the votes (postal of course)

  72. 136
    Guido Fakes says:

    What goes around comes around and eventually your lies and title and tatle will be your undoing and I’ll love to see this more than anything – Guido you really are a prick! Enjoy your 15 mins of fame your total irrelvant existance has mustered so far.

    • 150
      Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings--- pride says:

      What went around has come around chuckler and as far as ZaNu dross like you are concerned the pain is only just beginning.

    • 168
      Anonymous says:

      Fuck off

    • 178
      Budgie says:

      You are obviously one of the ZaNu idiots who can’t tell the difference between McBride’s fantasy inventions; and Liebore sleaze accurately reported by Guido.

    • 190
      Hannan4PM says:

      A veiled threat? Oooooh.

    • 204
      Anonymous says:

      Dolly! get back in your box. You’re over.

    • 233
      Anonymous says:

      ‘title and tatle’? ‘irrelvant existance’? Obviously a product of ZaNuLabours ‘improved’ education system. Go forth, onanist.

    • 402
      Anon says:

      ‘Fakes’? That’s what your missus does
      With you that is – not with me and the rugby team – Kate loves it!!

    • 614
      Anonymous says:

      Lies? Exactly what lies are those then, hoon? You & your Neo-Nazi NuLabour Party are the liars. So fuck off back to No 10 & get greased up for your masters. BTW, I notice the Feartie from Fife is staying up in Scotland – running away as he always does when the s*** hits the fan.

  73. 138

    I’ll ring my mate Gordon up, to see if he’d like a quick photo-op with my new star Suzie Boyle from my latest Saturday show – she’s even Scottish too, and Gordon’s in town tomorrow. Maybe she’ll sing for him. He’s always one for a quick photo-op is my mate Gordon.

    Our last winner even got invited to No10 for the shoot ! And he got his teeth fixed like Gordon and me too.

    Its Gordon’s best hope.

  74. 142
    Graham Barker says:

    To better understand characters like Draper, you need to watch Woody Allen’s ‘Zelig’.

  75. 143
    pissed off voter says:

    It started in America, Gordon. Berkeley, to be specific. Happy Easter :)

  76. 144
    John Lyon CB - Do Not Disturb says:

    As my followers will know, I am not a man of action, in fact I pride myself on doing very little indeed for my fat salary £108,000 plus perks and scams.

    I am getting almost dizzy with the action around here, people resigning or being fired, if it carries on like this there will soon be a new government, but governments come and go, my salary stays the same, the standards which I commission will still resemble stinking cesspitsI My God I am glad I don’t have to earn a living in the real world!

  77. 146
    Dream On says:

    Sad day Guido,Dolly came to view in a blast of wind,talked a blast of wind and now the wind has blown him away,now for a hurricane from the south to blow the biggest piece of rubbish back to the north,hey ho another one down.

  78. 151
    BrianSJ says:

    Interesting sentence in Mary Riddell in the Labourgraph:
    “Some old rifts have been healed: Peter Mandelson, once an enemy, this week led Brown’s attempted fightback.”
    http://tinyurl.com/dd4oeh
    Not a word has appeared in the MSM that I am aware of……

    • 200
      StrongholdBarricades says:

      “unkinder critics might say it resembled a sinking ship leaving a rat”

      hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • 284
      Libertarian says:

      She’s not called Mary Drivel for nothing.

      • 631
        Anonymous says:

        Gordo’s comments, according to Mary Drivel, on hearing about Smeargate:

        “That’s a shame. He’s let me down. He’ll have to go.” I think there’s another short sentence missing there:

        “That’s a shame. He’s let me down. He’s been found out. He’ll have to go.”

  79. 154
    Dick Cheese says:

    Nearly burst my bladder. Scurrilously irreverent reviews and also check the tags associated with the award winning author – Tramp, Scruffy, Hoon and Guido’s Roadkill.

  80. 155
    treetop says:

    With apologies to Mr Bob Dylan …

    Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth,
    Blowing down the backroads headin south.
    Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
    Youre an idiot, Dolly.
    Its a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

    • 400
      Anonymous says:

      Someone’s got it in for me, they’re planting stories in the press
      Whoever it is I wish they’d cut it out but when they will I can only guess.

    • 432
      Anonymous says:

      RZ has something for every occasion, this seems to fit quite well too

      Now, little boy lost, he takes himself so seriously
      He brags of his misery, he likes to live dangerously
      And when bringing her name up
      He speaks of a farewell kiss to me
      He’s sure got a lotta gall to be so useless and all
      Muttering small talk at the wall while I’m in the hall
      How can I explain?
      Oh, it’s so hard to get on
      And these visions of Johanna, they kept me up past the dawn

      Oh, jewels and binoculars ……

  81. 156
    Niceone says:

    Close the Drapes while I see Watson my Balls, there Brown!

  82. 160
    No help now says:

    I was going to help save Derek but…

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/sachab/3387449920/

    some chav must have stolen the lifering. Oh well…

  83. 161
    CCTV says:

    GMTV on the couch Kate and Dolly host the breakfast show

    • 167
      No help now says:

      There’s so many problems with this government the Downfall video producers are struggling to keep up!

  84. 162
    mister smeeth says:

    In case you forgot

  85. 164
    Spindoctored says:

    Derek Draper Labour spin doctor does a runner with his computer. http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/mirror-images/2009/04/derek-draper-labour-spin-docto.html

    • 194

      Fantastic- Guido, have you seen this?

    • 212
      ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:

      to the pawnshop

      Or to sell to the highest bidder?

      • 254

        He couldn’t afford to leave the PC behind. Its his pension after all. Everyone’s on it.
        Watch how quickly Gordon the denier makes him Lord Draper of Barclay Square.

    • 253
      No Shit Sherlock says:

      That computer has the evidence on it, that’s why he’s disposing of it.
      Even Derek knows that if you delete a file traces will be left.

      So derek what exactly did you and Watson email each other about.

  86. 165
    Budgie says:

    Zanu Liebore will not take Smeargate sitting down. Just as they reacted badly to the Petrol Protests, they will use the law to shut down comments on the blogs. On today’s R4 Toady program Balls weaseled out of accepting McBride’s and Draper’s guilt by shunting them in with all blogs as unacceptable for his family to read. Soon there will be laws to stop you even thinking what ZaNu thinks are double plus bad thoughts, still less leaving them as comments.

    • 183
      mister smeeth says:

      No the gate has been opened. Too late, sorry Mr talking Balls.

      • 322
        Anonymous says:

        Remember the old saying
        “divide and conquer”

        no web.. no guido site what then??

    • 184
      Jack Night says:

      Yes indeed they would want to but I don’t think they have enough time. However, Blu-Labour will try because they know that the same Blogs that excoriate the current administration will still be here and waiting after the election. I honestly believe that our rulers will not be happy until they control all access to and content of the internet.

      This is Radio Freedom Ssssssssssssss.

      • 241
        Dream On says:

        But mr Night like your friends who borrow things without permission and set you off in tizzy trying to get them and tell them off for their naughtiness they find different ways to borrow,besides the old saying what one man can make another can break,anyway blogging is in your blood get blogging :-)

  87. 172
    PM says:

    Knock knock…

  88. 173
    Aethelred says:

    This is just a damage limitation exercise by nulab.

    “I want to reiterate that Derek Draper does not hold a position or role with the Labour Party ”

    is not the same thing as saying that Draper’s site was independent from nulab.

    May they all get what they deserve.

  89. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Do you think he’ll have another breakdown?

  90. 180
    No help now says:

    I see from the top story that Derek Draper was attempting to smuggle out his desktop PC incognito hidden in a rather colourful bag.

    Unfortunately, the Daily Mirror photographer spotted it.

    Seems, uncanny timing to be removing a computer just after serious allegations of misconduct have been laid against you. Anybody would think he was trying to destroy the evidence?

    http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/mirror-images/2009/04/derek-draper-labour-spin-docto.html

    Even outside the inner circle, Derek Draper truly is the gift that keeps on giving :)

    • 224
      Anonymous says:

      I might be giving Dolly too much credit, but I reckon the computer we’ve been allowed to see is a decoy. Let’s face it if that particular computer was of such importance would he have left it partially uncovered and open to view? Is he that thick?

    • 273
      He's down, he's out and he's broke. But he's got a hard drive worth a fortune. says:

      He couldn’t have attracted more attention if he tried.

      What is he saying to his controllers by doing this in broad daylight? Stop dumping on me perhaps?

  91. 182

    You know who else is a Huhne? That Charlie Wheelan – what the hell is a union employing a spin doctor for? Must be some dirt there.

    I did a few stints on his R5 radio programme on a Sunday morning, a good few years back: twat would just sit there staring at the fucking football on the telly while his researchers/other guests asked questions and carried on the programme. What the fuck the BBC were paying him for I don’t know.

    Oh yes, I do, because he might have been a Huhne but he was one of their Huhnes.

  92. 186
    Stormforce says:

    Oh fuck. We’ve lost our useful fool. I wants him back.

    • 329
      Anonymous says:

      Well its not all bad

      At least one village got it’s idiot back.

      It’s what we do for hard working families in this slight downturn that started in America.

      Vote Labour

  93. 191
    Mr Christopher says:

    What a remarkable insight Collins’s letter gives us into the modus operandi of the conspiracy:

    “I want to reiterate that Derek Draper does not hold a position or role with the Labour Party and this will remain the case.”

    I suggest that the plan had always intended that Draper should remain, in a technical sense, outside the Labour Party, so that he could have ‘plausible deniability’ if the plot went wrong, as it has.

    Had Collins added “Derek Draper’s meeting with the Prime Minister at the time when the Red Rag site was purchased was of a personal nature only, as was his continued close association with Peter Mandelson, Damian McBride and Charlie Whelan,” his letter would have given a very different impression to its readers.

    Like me, they might have concluded that Draper was very much a senior New Labour operative, but one who, like an ‘illegal’ agent, had agreed (or volunteered himself) to work outside the Party to run its black ops.

    Minor volunteer outsiders don’t get invited to lunch by the Cyclops, nor would they be able to arrange for funds to be channeled into Red Rag from Unite – another attempt at creating a deniable ‘cut out’ between Draper and the Party.

    New Labour lies often contain more information that the truth.

  94. 193
    Cruncher says:

    “Guido doesn’t have any psychotherapy qualifications, so this is not a professional judgement.”

    What qualifications does Guido have?

    • 197

      Cycling Safety Certificate.

      • 217
        jgm2 says:

        Hard to give a shit how Guido got hold of the e-mails when weighed against the potential importance they have in shutting down Brown’s misinformation/smear/hatefest against unbelievers . Nobody is denying that they are real.

        Nobody seriously believes that Brown surrounds himself with such scum just because they tell jolly funny jokes and are terrifically good at Powerpoint presentations. What with him being a bit rubbish with computers and all.

        Blair and Brown surrounding themselves with complete Girls Front Bottoms (GFB) like Mandelson, Campbell, Draper, Watson, McBride et al is no fucking co-incidence. Or if it is then it’s on a par with a meteorite striking earth, cracking open and showering every single man with 70 Keira Knightleys.

        Brown is an evil, manipulative fucking bastard and, in the sense that he has any nugget of genius at all it is purely from the Machevellian quadrant of ‘genius’. Likewise he has surrounded himself with utter fucking idiots for cabinet ministers with the possible exception of Jack Straw who is just plain fucking evil.

      • 335
        Agent 99 says:

        Swimming a width at the local Muncipal baths (now closed under labour and is a shopping centre) Who really gives a shit!

        (except those he catches out of course)

    • 198

      Who is Guido Fawkes and how did HE get hold of confidential emails? I have my suspicions but please people look deeper, this is not what it seems.

      • 209
        Mrs Trellis says:

        Gordon sent them to him. He’d had enough of McBride and Draper.

      • 211
        BOFL http://ageofkali.blogspot.com/ says:

        was it tony blair?

      • 214
        Anonymous says:

        Kris, might be interesting to see what emerges from the various FOI applications that have been in for some time. Are you doubting that anybody in zanulab might not have regarded these people as worth excising from the govt ? Surely somebody still has some morals, or perhaps not on the evidence to date.

      • 227
        Anonymous says:

        So come on then, Kris. You’ve been harping on about this looking deeper clap trap for days. How about you enlighten us to your suspicions old boy? If only so we can have some entertainment pointing and laughing at you until the next installment of this tale of two hoons.

      • 236
        English Liberation Front says:

        It’s not working – go and deliver some diversity training instead.

      • 299
        harpic says:

        harriet hatemen wot did it

      • 336
        Agent 99 says:

        christmas fucking fairy?

      • 542
        Winking in public says:

        Lord Cashpoint

      • 625
        Veteran conspirator says:

        Who is Kris Alienz? Is he Chris Paul?

    • 207
      mister smeeth says:

      Guido does not play with childrens minds. Do you?

    • 641
      Anonymous says:

      How about qualifications enough to be able to smell NuLabour shit from a mile off & pin it to the hoon responsible? It does it for me.

      Gosh Guido, hadn’t realised the importance of Cycling Proficiency ;)

  95. 196
  96. 202
    ragged trousered philhoontherapist says:

    There is a lot to be said for hedonism and ‘anti-politics’ (some call it ‘freedom’, look it up). You lost me on the eating thing though.

  97. 203
    Andy Burnham says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen.

    I bring you a message from our great leader, Gordon, who like you can feel the pain of the passing of Derek Draper. I stand solemnly before you, with a tear in my eye at the injustice of this great event. Derek’s passing will remain in the anals of history. He was just an ordinary man with an extraordinary talent. Qualified to pass judgement on anything, he relished the opportunity to express himself. He will not be forgotten.

    • 206
      A Little Bull says:

      “Derek’s passing will remain in the anals of history”

      Where to start with that mouthful? Given that he has been passing nothing but sh*te for the last few years, maybe the ‘anals’ of history is the best place for him. Or the ‘anals’ of Gordon, perhaps???

  98. 205

    The “Draper does a runner with computer” that you are linking to is awesome.

    Of course the spin to protect this clandestine operation to protect Brown’s inner circle is obvious……………..

    Draper: “I suspect my computer has been hacked and I have taken it to experts to check.”

  99. 208

    Where is the modern version of The Spitting Image when we need it ?

    Oh. I geddit. Satire is only allowed in the broadcast media for lefties to attack righties – so for anti Nu Lab satire we have only the unregulated internet to rely upon.

    Well judging by the traffic on this blog people are coming here for the humour which is so notable by its absence on TV. what did for Thatcher will do for Nu Lab. It’s in the runes – the best humour is in the anti Nu Lab blogs.

    There are many things Nu Lab can recover from. Sustained ridicule is not one of them.

    They are a laughing stock.

    Therefore they are finished.

    • 213
      Mrs Trellis says:

      They were definitely finished the minute Andy Burnham mentioned ‘Dear Leader’ in front of the Kop at Anfield this afternoon.

    • 221
      David says:

      Spot on EK.
      Also where are the interrogative TV interrogators of the 80′s and early 90′s ? They dissapeared upon the arrival of Labour in 1997.
      This shower of low life running the country have had an easy ride for the last 12 years.

      • 342
        Anonymous says:

        They all queued up to support them don’t you remember?
        The pop song
        Things can only get better?

        Where are these Hoons now huh?

        quite! enough said!

      • 511
        Mr Ned says:

        I remember the BBC “reacting to viewer feedback” saying that a lot of viewers did not like the way that the BBC had been too aggressive with cabinet ministers in the past. So they changed their policy in light of that and decided to have a less combative approach to political interviews with Government ministers.

        When was this? Early May 1997.

        When will they state that “viewer feedback indicates that the public does not like the BBC doing ‘soft’ interviews with Government Ministers, and so we shall change the policy to reflect viewer concerns and take a more combative approach in future”? My guess would be within a couple of weeks of labour losing the next election.

  100. 210
    BOFL http://ageofkali.blogspot.com/ says:

    poor derek-all his brothers are deserting him…….

    gotta love those friendly socialists all helping each other out and giving support at a time of need……er not!

    better get yourself booked in to the priory again…….

  101. 215
    What me? Impartial? Nick Robinson says:

    Fookin ell Stainsey how are you gonna top this lot?

    Dont give the Tories too much of a hard time, they’ve not had their mitts on the levers of power for 12 years, which considering how the world has changed is as good as 30 years in days of yore., allowing for inflation like.

    Draper, wanking over smears about a woman’s mental health.
    I have no Police record whatsoever, but if I ever see the fat, smelly sack of preening, psycho-babbling shyte I will punch his fucking lights out

  102. 216
    Media watch says:

    Hurah, thought I’d never see the day.

    Charlie Brooker takes the piss out of all the endless hype that was the Obama & Jonah G20 show from last week.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00jwcb3/Newswipe_Episode_4/
    (starts about 3 mins in)

  103. 220
    Malaria says:

    I am sure that Ollie Cromwell will be continuing his activities even without the oxygen of publicity.

    “No-one rises so high as he who knows not whither he is going”
    Oliver Cromwell

  104. 223
    RM Nimbus says:

    wanna buy Ray Collins a pint. Grassroots Labour is okay.

  105. 225
    Not long now says:

    Observe the pattern: NuLab idiot messes up. Months pass. NuLab idiot considered rehabilitated and given another chance. NuLab idiot messes up. Repeat. Conclusion: we are now well overdue the next Mandelson fuck up.

  106. 228
    Not long now says:

    Observe the pattern: NuLab idiot messes up. Months pass. NuLab idiot considered rehabilitated and given another chance. NuLab idiot messes up. Repeat. Conclusion: we are now well overdue the next Mandelson fckup.

  107. 229
    jgm2 says:

    Outstanding work by ‘The Mirror’ capturing Draper taking his computer for a drive.

    I quite often like to take my computer for a drive to. Out and round the highways and by-ways. Over hill and mountain, stream and ford and then back again. Then I just hook the little fucker up and it’s back to work. I do the same think with my toaster and my wife’s hairdrier too. Ohhh, it’s spring you lucky electrical appliances, time for the first outing of the year. Lets all go to the pub and sit in the garden drinking Magners and look at the girls in their crop tops.

    Suuuuuure, I get a few funny looks but there’s nothing unusual about taking your electrical appliances for a bit of an outing.

    Yeah. Right.

    Still, game, set and match to Draper. Computer? What computer? Files? What files? Proof? What proof?

    • 344
      Anonymous says:

      Thats Brilliant!

      hahahahaah

    • 346
      jilted person says:

      I want to take my PC out to the country tomorrow for a picnic but it won’t go apparently because its staying in to wash its hair.

    • 370
      Anonymous says:

      I think you’ll find new labour created a law for that.. its all with the ISPs now :-)

      • 438
        anonymouse says:

        I imagine that his computer drive was going for a Cyberscrub cleanout before Mr Plod came calling at his door.

  108. 238
    Doom N' Broon says:

    DC – DesperateCuunt

  109. 239
    arthur says:

    If people are under the illusion it is only Labour then god help this Country; By being a politician you are corrupt or about to be corrupted.

  110. 242
    arthur says:

    Uriah Heap is the patron saint of all politicians

  111. 243
    Gwil Davies says:

    Just posted this onto my facebook page – perhaps the ideas a little too simplistic, but…

    Politics –
    We are a scared nation, largely because the politicians tell us we need to be… anyone read 1984?
    Can the police really behave however they like, beating women and disabled men because we’re scared of the bogeymen out there?

    They’ve spent millions of our money on rescuing the huge bonuses of those who caused the problem through their ‘creative accounting’ in the first place…

    Rather than tax these huge salaries(that we rescued) more, our politicians on both sides of the divide want to talk of making it harder for those who have lost their jobs to claim their benefits…

    Now those nice people who believe the Daily Mail will try to put the focus on the scroungers… but they generally get the lives they deserve…

    I’ve been there… long-term unemployed, struggling to find a job… and it terrifies me the thought of the Tories getting in… and doing the same again… looking after their rich friends and letting the rest of us go down the tubes…

    And anyone else sick of Brown, Cameron or their colleagues sitting on chat shows, not answering the questions, stickily avoiding the issues?

    Anyone else sick of the ‘leaks’, made so that the press can have their ‘scoops’ the day before the speech is made?

    Anyone else sick of this plastic excuse for democracy – that we have now accepted and ignored?

    Just an idea, the people of our country make our own peaceful stand. Simply not voting may not work, but what if, at the next election, we all send our voting slips to 10 Downing Street as soon as we receive them?
    Maybe not have to wait for the General Election, aren’t there local ones in June?
    Buy a stamp & post your vote – mark the card ‘PROTEST VOTE’.

    If you think this is a decent idea, pass it on to your friends.

    • 247
      arthur says:

      they would spin it to look as though the electorate are quite happy to keep them in power, so no need of an election

    • 300

      You’re an idiot.

      Read what really happened. here

    • 338
      Hysteria says:

      nonsense

    • 379
      caesars wife says:

      i wouldnt mind if it was even subtle , word construction , does not match up with teen hormone theme , apart from that 4 out of 10 trolling , why just not vote , unless that is you cannot decide or are incapable of deciding whats good or bad .

      face book hannah montana for me , she might make somthing of it

  112. 248
    jgm2 says:

    Re ‘The Mirror’s’ scoop on Draper doing a runner with the evidence. Just like that American pilot who flew his fucking plane through a ski-lift cable in Italy and dropped a gondola killing a dozen or so Italians. And then ‘lost’ the in-flight video.

    Watch for the elaborate return of the computer disguised as an ARGOS delivery or somesuch. Computer duly scrubbed by proper experts working on government orders so that nothing of any embarrassment value remains except some low-grade shit to lend authenticity.

    Computer scrubbed? No embarrassing e-mails? Everything compacted? Pure coincidence. Just running a routine virus scan m’lud. Just ran a routine data compression m’lud. No truth whatsoever m’lud…. pure coincidence m’lud….

    Evil fuckers the lot of them.

    An administration of liars who, if their phenomenal energy for lying had been diverted to doing good might have achieved great things.

    Vote Labour.

    Thiiiiiiiings can only get bettttttterrrrr!!!!

    • 255
      jgm2 says:

      On the other hand, as has been pointed out about Watergate, it wasn’t the bugging that brought Nixon down. It was the lies and the attempted cover-up.

      Taking your computer for a springtime drive will be part of the cover-up. I trust he took it to somebody who know his FAT from his arse. Remember boys. First compress and then replace all that embarrassing stuff with ones and zeroes. Otherwise a grown-up will have all your shit in a heart-beat.

    • 263
      Dream On says:

      Why would anybody take a computer anywhere,they only have to remove the hard drive and stick it in his pocket and take a walk over one of the bridges across the Thames or even buy a couple of torx screwdrivers and remove the platters,the emails will be on a server somewhere unless he uses gmail or equiv then they will be on a server somerwhere in the world,besides microshaft leaves trails wherever it goes.

    • 296
      Diaper's on the run says:

      Why do this in such a public way though?

      I am not a psychiatrist, I haven’t even been to Berkeley, but I suspect he could be saying “stop dumping on me or more emails will go missing”.

    • 301

      The emails will be stored on the server they were downloaded from…

      Maybe there’s some documents from Gordon on there that were transmitted by sneakernet…

      • 311
        My sight is failing. Why? says:

        Or some special interest videos from Richard Timney.

      • 321
        Libertarian says:

        Too bad for Dolly that he decided to dispose of the evidence *after* the ISP legislation was passed.

        The sweet irony.

    • 368
      Anonymous says:

      The last thing he will do is scrub it – assuming he’s not a compleet tit. Its his only chance of survival. Otherwise its a walk in the woods for Dolly

  113. 270
    Ewanme says:

    Keep going , honey x .

    You are on the side of righteousness an we are sooo effin grateful to ya . You are the laxative that the politics of this Huhnery needs .

    © E xxx .

  114. 274
    Hannan4PM says:

    Even Labourhome have joined in on the fun.

  115. 293
    Fidel: Gordon Brown is a RACIST says:

    Gordon Brown is a racist, says Fidel Castro

    http://londonersdiary.standard.co.uk/

    He wrote: “During the London summit, on April 4, presided by Gordon Brown as host of the event, according to totally credible sources, the Prime Minister of Great Britain behaved visibly with contempt towards the participants from the Third World. He treated Obama himself with prejudice because of his condition as a black man.”

    Or perhaps Brown was just pissed off about having to watch the NTSC boxed DVD set through binoculars?

    Does Brown have ANY friends left right now?

    • 312
      Dave Figgley says:

      Well, son. ‘Friends’ might be a bit strong. He’s got people that still talk to him, if that counts? I’m in two minds over Our Great Leader; one half of me says fuck off and die you Scottish Huhne but my more feminine side says stick around and show us that you really are the best thing since sliced bread. Dilemma, dontcha know? On balance, I spose I’d like to see Brown and Blair’s lifeless corpses fusing together in the thousand degree heat of a pyre in the middle of Wembley Stadium with 90000 eager punters looking on and the world media beaming it beyond the bounds of this planet. Then I think, eff it, you are just flawed human beings who got above your station and everything seems OK, son.

      • 314
        jgm2 says:

        Hmmmm. Nice image. Although tossing them out of a helicopter from several thousand feet onto a large ‘X‘ over Wembly stadium would probably provide the same outcome but without damaging the pitch so much. Doncha think.

        Plus the video would be hilarious.

      • 318
        Dave Figgley says:

        Er, I’m up for that jgm. You could combine the two ‘happenings’, have loads of ads in between and then re-turf the pitch using Albanian labour. The more I think about it, the more I want to see it.

      • 653
        Anonymous says:

        I’d go for tossing them from the helicopter – as you say, less damage to the pitch. But only if the ‘X’ has 2 foot vertical nails all along it.

    • 326

      Mr Castro, Sir, I think you will find that Gordon Brown is an equal opportunity hater. Blakc or white, unless you fawn on him, you are as nothing.

      There is, however, one Brown he loves with a deep and abiding passion. A life-long obsession, you might argue. Gordon Brown.

    • 348
      Wedgie Pipedillan says:

      Sorry hard to follow but after all thats happened is Brown to the right or left of Castro?
      Like I said its hard to follow sometimes

  116. 297
    Optician says:

    Binoculars? A telescope, surely?

  117. 304
    Doctor Mick says:

    As he said about McBride, “I see no shits”.

  118. 305
    Lochduart says:

    Letter to ANONYMOUS Help, I am appealing to the UK’s No.1 pollster to help me out, I am a elderdy late comer to this wonderful era of expressing your thoughts previously denied us before the electronic age. However I lack the skills to manage the replies to specific posts as my sometime banal responses appear miles from where I want them to appear. A bottle of good quality red or white is on offer or even Gods greatest triumph a Single Malt Whisky (Not to be confused with Guido’s Irish inferior variety)

    • 313
      jgm2 says:

      even Gods greatest triumph a Single Malt Whisky

      Scotch is just proof that alcoholics will drink anything. As for inferior Irish variety you will find, should you look to your history books that Scotch is an inferior variety of Irish. Having been invented in Ireland and distilled thrice.

      But as ever with the Scotch, knowledge is triumphed by belligerent ignorance. See the Labour government for further details.

      • 341
        Hysteria says:

        with the SCOTS – damn it…….

      • 410
        Minekiller says:

        A good point – sadly I find many Scots people believe that they are just ‘the hardest people on earth’ and use their drunken growling accent to try and intimidate when in reality they are basically a nation of alkies and sickies. Stand up to a Jock and they inevitably back down…..

        They’d get more respect if they didn’t act so hard whilst on sickness benefit. Oh and they’d get a lot of respect if they took back their criminal and incompetent NuLabia politicians infesting Westminster.

      • 675
        SCOTCH says:

        No, SCOTCH, it winds them up better and after all the hoons have invaded parliament and destroyed the nation, so SCOTCH is damn well is until the oneyed SCOTCH oink goes home

  119. 307
    jgm2 says:

    It wasn’t done in a public way. The press are camped outside his house. There is a risk somebody will call plod over allegations of impropriety in public office. The clock is ticking. The computer must disappear. Hmmmmm.

    I know, says ‘master criminal’ Draper, I’ll stick my computer in this handy present bag like I’m off to a wedding (dressed as a tramp) and nobody will twig that this bag (straining at the handles) isn’t carrying a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates but a fucking 10kg computer. Who said he was smart? Just like Brown who thinks everybody is as devious a lying bastard as he is then that Draper clearly thinks everybody is as fucking stupid as he is.

    If it were me I’d have stuffed some tissue paper on top. Or, failing that, some bog-roll. But then I’m smart enough not to be trying to undermine democracy or the financial wellbeing of the UK with lies in the first place.

  120. 308
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    So Guido,

    Draper has packed his computer and left the building, just need the cleaners round now to remove the rubbish,

    What’s the gossip on whether or not there’ll be a newbie in place?

    Plus, any news on the PLP meeting set for Monday? Any chance that it is going to be an interesting affair and there’s a delivery of that special stuff for “white” smoke?

  121. 309
    StrongholdBarricades says:

    Press the reply in the comment you wish to reply to

    Can’t accept your offer, although it is very kind…doctors orders :(

  122. 320
    Cynical twat says:

    disposal of evidence is an offence. Well it would be if Plod had been called in. They will be shortly but by then well…

  123. 327

    Where’s he taken the bloody computer?

    So he can pretend to have it checked for signs of hacking? What does the oaf think? That they use axes and crowbars to hack the information on the computer?

  124. 328
    Hughie says:

    Well I just hope you are satisfied Guido!

    I certainly am! LOL Politics’ gain is psycotherapy’s loss! ;-)

    • 655
      Anonymous says:

      I think it will be pyschotherapy’s gain as well once BACP review his case & turf him out on his ear.

  125. 330
    Cream Puff says:

    Guido – Care to comment on the sham, that is the UK Cabinet meeting in Scotland?
    Supposedly the UK Cabinet will be taking part in a question and answer session with the Scottish public. Problem is none of the Scottish public actually know where this meeting is supposed to be taking place in Glasgow!
    Its being kept very secret as Labour dont actually want the ordinary Scottish voter turning up. The Media are very complicent in this piece of devious theatre.

    • 373
      Lowperdowg says:

      What’s the odds that the main puff will be “Stronger together”, “Scotland would have drowned without us”, “Arc of insolvency”, “Blah”, “Boak”, “Spew”.

      YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

    • 411
      Minekiller says:

      So why doesn’t the BBC or any MSM journalist or Guido, simply ASK No 10, how the audience was found? Selection, application, invitation????

      Pretty obvious innit?

    • 416
      Hadrian had the right idea says:

      It really is bollocks, perhaps he feels safer amongst his own clan.

      Anyone Scottish on here who would like to enlighten us on how he is seen north of the border? Do they realise he is tarring the whole Scots population with his uselessness and corruption?

      • 450
        Lowperdowg says:

        Despised for the hoon he is.

        Anyway, he’s NOT Scottish.

        I’m from North Britain, Mr Obama.

      • 461
        Cream Puff says:

        Almost everyone hates Brown,Murphy et al. Which is why the location of the ‘UK Cabinet meeting’ is being kept secret. They dont want the hoy paloy turning up and asking the wrong questions. Membership of Labour in Scotland has plummeted.
        We have just had the spectacle of the boy Milliband (the younger one) call on the SNP to embrace Nuclear Energy, despite the fact that nobody in Scotland wants it (apart from Brown as his brother is a director of EDF!)

      • 471
        Senior Civil Servants says:

        Cream Puff – exactly, snotty’s relatives stand to make shed loads out of nuclear – corrupt, troughing bastards that they are.

      • 503

        The ten sites being considered for nuclear pwr stations are ALL in England so I wouldn’t worry too much my north of the border friend.

  126. 332
    Anonymous says:

    Draper – reminds me of Derek “Degsy” Hatton – but without the wit or charm. Whatever happened to him?

  127. 333
    Implausible Deniability says:

    While he was out we removed the wire tap.

  128. 334
    Anonymous says:

    Derek Draper is, along with Piers Morgan and Peter Mandelson, one of the most hateful people to ever exist. This clip from the Daily Politics Show from mid-March 2009 seems to have even more poetic justice today.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/the_daily_politics/7965869.stm

  129. 337
    Anonymous says:

    I’m gutted he’s gone. In these last months he’s caused a shit load of damage to his party.

    what a pisser.

    Derek draper = the uriah heep of british politics.

    • 354
      Anonymous says:

      Heh heh heh. Fuckin’ delicious!

      However, I shall miss him. He was easily the Tory party’s MVP

  130. 345
    So17 says:

    Why oh why oh why are Newsnight still running this horseshit feature ‘Ethical Man’? 15 mins I say 15mins of this bollocks in the middle of one of the most important news slots of the day. It was even featured on prime time news for gods sake.
    The BBC are still pushing the Communist Green agenda for all its worth.
    Wind turbines,electric cars,bio fuel are useless.
    Sterilisation and letting the old and sick die might work.
    These sick Green bastards will have to contemplate that, and they will to reach the golden 80% cut in CO2.

    • 349
      Dave Figgley says:

      Nice ‘work’ for ‘Ethical Man’. Oh fuck, we’re paying for that tart’s holiday. Makes me want to vomit on my T.V. License and punch my telly. Oh, I did that yesterday, mate.

  131. 353
  132. 356
    Anonymous says:

    Even though he is a proven hoon, i fear that Derek Draper may play the role of Stephen Ward in this modern Scandal.
    If he he has any sense he will spill the beans immediately.

  133. 357

    Labour’s general-secretary Ray Collins has thrown him overboard already.

    Would this be the same Ray Collins that appears to be squatting the following Tory-related domains on behalf of the Labour party:

    http://davidcameronseconomicpolicy.com/
    http://toryeconomics.com/
    http://davidcameronseconomicpolicy.co.uk/

    And all hosted on the same shared server as LabourList.

    Ownership details:
    http://whois.domaintools.com/davidcameronseconomicpolicy.com
    http://whois.domaintools.com/toryeconomics.com
    http://whois.domaintools.com/davidcameronseconomicpolicy.co.uk

    Labour appear to own roughly 50 other domains too.

  134. 359
    HairyNoddy says:

    Poor old Derek, he’s been cast aside by his master who he served so faithfully all these years. That’s got to sting. The question is, will he remain loyal to NuLabia or will he start to dish the dirt on them now ..

  135. 362
    Anonymous says:

    Dolly is a genius!

    I want to have his babies!

  136. 372
    Mr Christopher says:

    Draper’s last card can only be a kiss-and-tell memoir, since he is otherwise unemployable.

    As for his desk being on ebay, we can hear from a-far the tick-tick- tick of death watch beetle, devouring the desk from within, turning it to little piles of dust, so that one day soon the rickety woodwork will collapse to the floor under it own weight, like the New Labour regime itself.

    And here he is, Draper in his inner being:

    http://bugguide.net/images/raw/70DQ60L0N0R0QQR0MQOR60R070JQM0NRQQNRHQYQYK3QM0YQYK3Q90JR7QQ090K0KQR0KQ00MQTR.jpg

  137. 375
    The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

    Draper is so unpopular the the only party he can get into is a Micheal Barrymore pool party.
    The life belt may come in handy

  138. 381
    Anonymous says:

    Draper is the least of their worries.

    Their biggest problem is the “nothing to do with us” mentality that everyone in the labour party has got; that’s what going to destroy all their votes in 2010.

    When ordinary people continually hear everyone in labour saying “I didn’t know, I wasn’t there [well, I was there, but I wasn't really listening, I was in the toilet at the time], it wasn’t my fault [I was responsible for it but I didn't know what I was doing]” they get sick of the blatent lies and openly-admitted negligence and decide to vote against such scumbags.

    It’s the same for Brown too, not just for his comments/lies on Draper/McBride, but the same attitude for the economy.

    They can’t just claim negligence/ignorance for everything that they’re responsible for and then expect everyone to say “ok, so you’ve admitted you’re negligent in everything that you do, so you can carry on then.”

    That attitude pisses everyone off, not just tories, but even their “core” voters start to get sick of it in the end.

    They don’t understand that though; they’re too busy trying to save their own skin to realise how much damage they do to their own party when they have no defence other than blind ignorance/negligence.

    In 1997 people decided not to vote tory, not because they thought that the tories were doing a bad job, but because they were sick of the lies and sick of their vote being taken for granted.

    In 2010 it’ll be the same thing for labour. They’re finished.

  139. 382
    caesars wife says:

    its not over yet , francis maude has not has his questions answered by guss odonnell , going to use FOI , you know what they say , when the head of the civil service is throwing buckets of cold water on a fire !! , he dont want any one to cock it up .

    laughing at cherie blair senior , local labour party are crying postal vote fraud , apparently hands in room vote won it clearly for other candidate , postal votes seemed to back the unite candiate all a bit too strongly .

    bloody hell they even de fraud themselves.

    burnham 0 rememberance service crowd 12000 , it all went bad the moment he said “the prime minister has ” , i hope the rest of the service was respectfull , so many were there to pay there respects , i remeber that day all too well

    • 587
      Grytpype-thynne says:

      Burnham has his sights on the leadership. though God knows why.It was no accident his mentioning the message came from Brown; the subsequent booing was for Brown, not Burnham

  140. 384
    Dogger says:

    You’d have thought that, with recent events fresh in mind, any prospective Labour MP, hoping to enter Westminster untainted at the next election might fight shy of saying anything that might be seen as crudely smearing the opposition, however amateurishly.

    So step forward one Kezia Dugdale, who, using the ruse of pretending to intelligently discuss the very subject of ‘smearing’ on her blog, dips her oar into the sewage with: “In essence, David Cameron could sue a newspaper if they printed a story saying he took cocaine if the reality was that he smoked crack.”

    A nasty little bitch to watch out for.

  141. 388
    Anonymous says:

    The cabinet are meeting in Scotland for the first time in 90 years (at our expense).

    BBC: “The Glasgow meeting will be the latest in a series across the UK, designed to show the cabinet engaging with people.
    Mr Brown and his ministers will spend the morning at a series of events across Scotland before facing questions from an invited audience.”

    Answering pre-scripted questions from a hand-picked audience, yes, that’ll show us all how well engaged they are with real people.

    If they want to “engage” with people, then perhaps they should consider some kind of voting system whereby the PM actually gets elected by someone rather than just succeeding in a coup.

  142. 392
    Man in the Street says:

    He’s gone north of the border to check that his mates are ‘on-message’ and still busy stuffing postal ballot envelopes.

    • 412
      Anonymous says:

      “The people who cast the votes don’t decide an election, the people who count the votes do. ” Josef Stalin

    • 558
      Godron Broon says:

      You are wrong. Just getting on wi’ ma Scottish jobbie as the bogs in Number 10 are full of my ex-advisers.

  143. 393
    Minekiller says:

    I think now that Dolly Draper is pretty much down and almost out, this may be the time to offer the olive branch and encourage him to write a memoir of his time working with the ‘big 17′. After all he probably has some absolute gems to pass on – and even if he makes half of it up, the smearites of NuLabour will just have to amuse us by proving thy aren’t true.

    He’ll need some book royalties, since his latest tome is the laughing stock of medical professionals in the free world – and unless he doesn’t watn Kate to show him the door after sprog numero deux pops its head out of the ruck, he’ll need to bring home some bacon.

    • 399
      Anonymous says:

      No, it’s wilderness time for the little shit. At least 40 days.

      • 406
        Dogger says:

        Should have stayed in Lanzarote and maybe taken the time to have written another inspiring, healing self-help classic.

  144. 394
    Anon says:

    DC needs a check-up from the neck-up. I understand that Dolly has a few ‘free’ slots in his day….

  145. 401
    Anonymous says:

    McBride deserted by all his mates. Try looking at his Facebook page:

    http://www.facebook.com/friends/?id=1686444109.

    “Damian has 2 friends”.

    • 405

      Morning Anonymous I am off to work, old scone. I am on the road this morning looking for juicy stories, speak to you tonight, probably be finished around 9 if I am lucky.

    • 426
      Anonymous says:

      That’s down to New Labour’s soar-away success at the digital engagement* thing.

      * Requires a modicum of sense on the part of the ‘engaged’, New Labour voters are so fucking thick there aren’t many of them. That’s why snotty mentioned a free laptop for his flock.

      Bribery, how very New Labour – fucktards.

  146. 407
    Farmer says:

    Looks like the government misused the police again vis-a-vis Damien Green. What a bunch of fuckers they are.

    I can’t believe the police are so stupid to be used by these idiots.

    Oh, I can believe it. (Momentary brain freeze)

    • 409
      Man in the Street says:

      Yep, smearing civil servants now. What a bunch of control freak fucktards.

    • 425
      Anonymous says:

      Surely a charge of wasting police time to follow?

    • 435
      firstlight40 says:

      Looks to me like ‘Sir Gus’ and ‘Sir David’ have gone over to the dark side rather than being impartial civil servants

      Cammo should take away their knighthoods and banish them to supervise the counting of the fish on the Falklands

    • 441
      Twizzle says:

      ‘the government misused the police…’

      The police are the government – it’s enforcement arm. When are people going to realise that the WHOLE establishment is now politicised.

  147. 420
    Stu says:

    Slightly off topic, but this whole sordid affair seems to have gone very quiet in the general media like Sky and the Labour lovers at the BBC. This was a fundemental attack on our democracy by scum like McBride and Brown and shouldn’t be allowed to be swept under the carpet as some prank.
    This was no prank as even Labour suppourters have found out to their cost, although Tony Blair must be pissing himself laughing at the moment. Brown has really done him a favour as history will remember Blair as an election winner and Brown as a poisonous underhanded, duplicitous little shit who destroyed this countries economy and the Labour party.
    This country needs an election now to get Brown out.

    P.S. Read Frank Fields blog, that guy is a rarity in the New Labour, someone with integrity who isn’t afraid to criticise that party and the idiot that leads it.

    • 421
      Anonymous says:

      Is a shame Field didn’t stand up sooner to be counted. I have no respect for him.

      • 460
        Anonymous says:

        He did and he has – where the fuck have you been?

      • 462
        City of Vice says:

        Yeah his ‘the 10p income tax is a con’ retraction speech wasn’t his finest moment, given that was a ‘when chips are down’ situation. Showed a lack of backbone.

        He generally talks sense though.

    • 496
      Anonymous says:

      Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible…

      It was always going to be that way, but it will me interesting to see if the polls have been shifted by this grubby affair.

  148. 424
    Magarets real son says:

    Look Fawkes, I ve read you are a wolf in wolf clothing. Now get out of bed and start blowing some houses down, FFS

  149. 427
    Casual Observer says:

    Looks like it’s Dump Dolly week…

    The Labour Party, Unite and probably the professional body which is currently having a look at Dolly’s ‘qualifications’ all seem to be on the same track.

    I wonder if Mrs Draper will take the hint…

  150. 430
    Anonymous says:

    Is LabourList down the toilet?

  151. 436
    Nigel Bowker says:

    Brown’s premiership is turning just as I predicted in my book “Boom and Bust” written before he became PM. Contact me on nigel_bowker_917@hotmail.com for a free electronic copy.

  152. 442
    Anonymous says:

    I’ll miss Dolly, he’s been great fun but Guido had better find a replacement quickly: we are addicted now. I must have my daily Dolly.

  153. 445
    nell says:

    Guido. I think you are premature in saying goodbye Dolly Draper. This labour shower has perfected the resurrection thingy. Dolly is close by somewhere waiting for Gordon to re-invent- so our entertainment will continue in due course thank the heavens. Expect McPoison has already been re-invented possibly working as Gordon’s bag person (in disguise) in Scotland as we speak (sorry blog).

  154. 446
    Charlie boy says:

    Slightly off-topic – Sorry, but the DT is bound, as it always does these days, to censor my comment in reply to Mary Lidell’s piece of Brownian whitewash.

    So, to the point. Think Gordon Brown, hold the thought. Think Macbeth and his beautiful Macbride. Hold that thought too. Am I imagining the similarity?

    • 488
      Anonymous says:

      It really is a pathetic piece in today’s Tellytubbygragh, and I doubt my comment will get through, either. The DT and the Grauniad really don’t like it up them.

      They should take a look at the Mirror where the deluge of criticism poor old Toilets endured was posted to the site with alacrity.

  155. 447
    City of Vice says:

    Oily Vaz has just on radio 4 talking about the arrest of Damian Green, pre empting the Police’s/ CPS’s announcement, due later today, as to whether charges against Green are to proceed . It’s all the top civil service’s fault says Vaz’s Labour dominated committee. Civil Servants had deliberately over-egged the pudding, by bogusly claiming to the police that national security was involved, so as to get the cops in to find the cause of the embarrassing leaks. OK then, let’s see who gets fired for this….

    Nothing to do with ministers of course, Vaz says, in particular those ministers responsible for Home and Cabinet offices. Yeah right. In the light of recent events , I suspect Watson’s grubby paws are all over this scandal too. Join the dots.

    • 459
      Anonymous says:

      Difficult to believe anything coming from Vaz. He’s got so much “history”.

      • 465
        Anonymous says:

        Racist bastard too.

      • 469
        City of Vice says:

        Precisely. It’s why he is saying that ‘no ministers’ – in the cabinet office or home office – either knew or sanction civil servants calling the cops in to raid an MPs offices in Westminster.

        Yeah right. If things get rough on this one Brown might have to dump Watson on this, as patsy, as the alternative is dumping on the Home Secretary and she’s got enough on her place, what with RawMeat3-gate and all that. Watson’s a dead man walking anyway.

  156. 449
    Little Old Me says:

    The Titanic is Sinking
    So, one attack dog is banished and another is being neutered.
    If it had been me and my dogs had tried to bite innocent people they would have been shot and I’d have said “I’m very, very sorry”. Full Bloody Stop. End of.

    The fact that “The Clunking Fist” hasn’t fired any of them, just allowed them to slide of into the undergrowth and hasn’t said sorry has left Joe Public with a very sour taste but, more importantly, other hounds of the news variety are now smelling the rotting flesh and becoming more aggressive. Some chap with a plum in his mouth from the Spectator called Muck Brewn a thug on Sky just now. The Bitch.

    It’s started Guido. You have holed the Titanic. It’s going down and it’s taking the whole sorry bunch of scruffy barstard mongrels with it.

    Can you imagine the day when he actually goes? Can you taste it? The day he sets off for Buckingham Palace to resign to The Queen. Oh God will I break out the bubbly? Will I wave me Union Jack underpants in the air? Will I scream and shout “the thug is out”? OH MY GOD WILL I.

    By the way, where is McBride? No interviews! Anybody seen him?

    • 493
      Anonymous says:

      ‘By the way, where is McBride? No interviews! Anybody seen him?’

      That can only imply a scoop by some MSM outfit in the offing. Roll on a Sunday soon to be then.

  157. 453
    Linda says:

    Time for Draper to call in Max Clifford to rebuild his image but I’m sure even Max has “certain standards”!

  158. 455
    • 514
      CuttingEdge says:

      “With his once-closest aide sleeping with the fishes, Mr Brown also faces political oblivion. His fate relies, in part, on whether he can heal Labour’s rifts. And that, in turn, hinges on whether his critics will finally offer him an amnesty. Those harbouring a death wish need to remember that Mr Brown, far from being a hopeless loser, was the driving force of the G20. If he can also demonstrate that all his Reservoir Dogs have been banished, or at the least house-trained for cleaner politics, that will be a start.

      Mr Brown’s critics must learn another lesson from this week’s events. It is by no means clear that Conservatives can seize victory in next year’s election. It is now beyond doubt that Labour can seize defeat. ”

      Question to Mary Riddell – Is whatever you are smoking available on the NHS? If not please tell us who your supplier is of this “delusion” drug. Because the only chance Brown has got of re-election is if the entire Conservative Party is proved to be a kiddie-fiddling cartel (And no Dolly – don’t get your hopes up on that one; its a fabrication). In blunt terms, Mary, he and Labour are fucked from every conceivable angle.

      There are now four things certain in life, Mary Riddel: Death, Taxes, More Taxes (we owe you for that one, Brown, you fuckwit) and Labour annihilation at the next General Election.

    • 536
      Labour - Scum says:

      She’s getting a good kicking in comments, the silly moo.

  159. 457
    Centre Parting says:

    Just heard Vazeline on R5 – how can anyone like him be in charge of a committee -he is not impartial and there have been doubts over his honesty.

    Which elocution school did he attend? Still, he can’t rival Terry Thomas thank god.

  160. 463
    Right down the middle says:

    Vaz tries sooooooooo hard to be the English gent. It’s laughable.

    • 470
      nell says:

      Sorry you cannot call Keith Vaz a gentleman! And there is nothing laughable about him – but still he fits the form for this government.

      • 473
        Centre Parting says:

        ‘English’ might be stretching it a bit too!

      • 491
        Golly says:

        He is actually a perfect example of the real origin of a three lettered word you cannot use.

      • 662
        Anonymous says:

        Golly, I actually had to stop & think – hard – about what word you were referring to. I must be succumbing to the World of PC.

  161. 464
    pp says:

    OT: Has Nick Robinson given up on blogging?

    A short while ago the Beeb took to ‘closing’ blogs for further comment after a period (no idea what basis they use for determining when they close).

    And Nick hasn’t blogged since the 3rd April.

    So his blog is virtually dead. BBC trying to silence dissent against the government? silencing accusations of bias?

    I think we should be told.

    • 519
      CuttingEdge says:

      He’s on his hols – probably got the same 12 weeks a year off as your average MP. Given the crap he spews on his blog it wouldnt surprise me if he was shut down for posting shite offensive to the public’s intelligence:

      “Though merely a humble witness to the saving of the world and the turning of the page and the creation of a new world order, I do now feel in need of a lie down – so I’m off on my hols and back after Easter.”

      The mind boggles…

      • 622
        8Ace Draper says:

        it is a bit strange though – the biggest political story this year and Toenails is conveniently on his holidays

  162. 467
    Senior Civil Servants says:

    Yes Gordon, no Gordon, three bags full Gordon.

  163. 472
    Twizzle says:

    After seeing Vaz today, I get the impression nothing has changed in the MSM. Still being lobbed easy questions, no cross-examination, more or less simply a statement.

    Also, the whole media is hooked on this ‘£5,000′ ‘giveaway for electric cars. Nothing about the fact you can’t buy one, nothing about the fact that you can’t recharge them and nothing about the fact the government hasn’t got any money to giveaway anyway. Simply dollied out to the masses as ‘fact’.

    If you guys think anything has changed with regards reporting this government and their mendacious ways, think again. It’s back to normal for the bastards.

    • 538
      Anonymous says:

      Just like Nero used to had out bread at the games.

    • 628
      8Ace Draper says:

      like the use of a new verb – Dolly, to dolly: the act of putting out untrue information into the public domain.

  164. 474
    Dogger says:

    “Hay House are the UK’s leading self-help, mind, body and spirit publishers”.

    Amazon customer tags for Draper’s book, “Life Support”:

    fake qualifications (18)
    liars (18)
    hoon (17)
    scumbag (16)
    unethical (15)
    scruffy (13)
    in berkeley not at berkeley (11)
    guido s roadkill (9)
    lies (9)
    tramps (8)
    crap (7)
    drivel (2)
    it s near berkeley (2)
    kate garraways tramp (2)
    rubbish (2)
    total loser (2)
    weasel faced rapist (2)
    anton dubeke (1)
    berkeley (1)
    bogus qualifications (1)
    car crash (1)
    charlatan (1)
    corrupt (1)
    curse of jonah (1)
    detritus (1)
    dire (1)
    disgusting (1)
    dolly (1)
    faeces (1)
    failure (1)
    filth (1)
    gordon brown (1)
    hideous wife (1)
    hypocrit (1)
    i live on a park bench (1)
    idiot (1)
    idiotarian (1)
    is it on recycled paper – i hope so (1)
    labour out (1)
    liar (1)
    mentalist (1)
    narcissist (1)
    owned by guido (1)
    p3wnd (1)
    plagerism (1)
    pond scum (1)
    proppa writa (1)
    pulp it (1)
    quack (1)
    quick wipe the hard drive (1)
    redrag (1)
    save your money (1)
    self-obsessed (1)
    smug (1)
    snake-oil (1)
    soapdodger (1)
    tramp (1)
    turps nudger (1)
    uber tramp (1)
    unprofessional (1)
    useless (1)
    utter drivel (1)
    vomit inducing (1)
    waste of a skin (1)
    waste of money (1)
    waste paper (1)
    waste paper bin (1)
    worst book ever (1)

    Star rating (out of five): one

    Some review quotes:

    “If Peter Andre were to fall into a coma, awake 5 years later with severe brain damage, I still reckon he could write a better book than this.”

    “So rich that Derek Draper has a chapter on “telling the truth”; after raving about how great it would be to put out lies about rival politicians in the public domain.”

    “They say everyone has one good book in them…..keep looking dolly.”

    “Just garbage.”

    “Given he seems incapable of ever telling the truth about anything I’d take a very large pinch of salt with any of the psychbabble he’s selling here.”

    “Not very absorbent. And too few sheets.”

    “The phrase “snake-oil salesman” keeps coming to mind.”

    A bit weird to see Draper’s name listed alongside a roll-call of acknowledged luminaries such as Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra,

    Who signed him?

  165. 480
    nell says:

    Times Online this morning – Derek Draper former aide at centre of attack blog scandal was cut adrift by Labour yesterday as ministers were braced for the publication of further damaging emails. Guido?

  166. 485
    Anonymous says:

    Labour shill Adam Shaw, economics correspondent on BBC Radio 4, tried to push the “green shoots of recovery line” this morning by saying that because consumer spending was up slightly this month we may be over the worst of the recession.

    But this increase is caused solely by increased spending on food (spending on all other consumer items is down)

    The reason spending on food has increased is because of food price inflation.

    This isn’t about green shoots, this is about all our basic costs going up while our incomes are stagnating or going down. Our living standards are being reduced and BBC govt mouthpieces, like Adam Shaw, try to spin it as positive news for the economy.

  167. 486
    Labourlist: it was the Tories wot started it says:

    In place of smear

    By Ed Mayne

    The way the Damian McBride affair has been reported, you’d think smearing was a new political trick. Far from it. Sadly I believe this whole episode was an accident waiting to happen. Politics in the last few years has got personal. It was only a matter of time before someone went too far. And with the nature of new media as it currently is, it could happen again and it could get worse.

    This whole incident comes less than a year after the Tories did some smearing of their own. Last June they published a dossier that outlined how Gordon Brown shouted abuse at secretaries, kicked his desk in rage, threw mobile phones and made his former close aide Spencer Livermore break down in tears. The Sunday Mirror alleged that all this was done with David Cameron’s approval. Downing Street naturally denied the allegations.

    ————–

    Otherwise the Labourslost homepage is curiously silent about the tsunami that has just engulfed them.

    Curious that.

    • 508
      nell says:

      That’s why he handwrote his letters of’ apology’ then – no secretary will work for him. As for ‘curiously silent’ well they are still in denial and planning their victory party for when they win the next election with a landslide

    • 522
      Little Old Me says:

      A smear is an attempt to malign someone. An attack on someone’s reputation. It’s also of course a greasy stain or vaginal secretion. Look it up!

      The McBride email was slanderous and libelous and untrue. Even Muck Brewn admitted that.

      The fact that Muck Brewn, to quote you “shouted abuse at secretaries, kicked his desk in rage, threw mobile phones and made his former close aide Spencer Livermore break down in tears.” was apparently true, albeit as you say “Downing Street naturally denied the allegations”. Well they would wouldn’t they? Come on you know he’s a thug even the nice chap from the Spectator said so this morning.

      I know you work for him (Muck Brewn) but dear oh dear, do you think we are as daft as you? By the way keep your expenses up to date. There’s an election coming and you’ll be down the road mate.

    • 550
      Little Old Me says:

      Further Update… We are three million miles from earth and the only people left are Gordon Brown and Ed Mayne, a being that developed from a Dodo.

      “Ed Mayne currently works for Robert Evans MEP and interns for Shahid Malik MP. He has also worked at Compass and the Political Department of Unite the Union. He is Youth Officer and a branch chair of Brentford and Isleworth CLP. A graduate of Mansfield College, Oxford, he was elected Vice-President of Oxford University Student Union for the 2006-07 academic year”. From labourlist.org

      You’d think he could use a dictionary wouldn’t you?

  168. 487
    Anonymous says:

    The police were lied to in order to get them to arrest Damien Green. Now Labour are trying to scapegoat some civil servant called Galley while we all know that he took his orders from his political masters.

  169. 494
    shellingout says:

    If Gordon is so keen to get us plebs to buy an electric car, he should set an example and start by trading in his ministerial Jag.

    Oh, how I would love to see him squished in to one of those things. I’ve seen better looking invalid carriages.

    • 506
      Cassandra King says:

      No no no no, the elecric car is like the USSRs ‘peoples car’ the Lada, you cant expect the commissars to be seen in a crappy motor can you?
      Its all about status in the end isnt it? Relative status means that if you lower the masses status you raise the status of the new elite, the new state elite can travel in comfort and style and their staus within society is enhanced, what good is is foreign travel and luxury goods if any old prole scum can access them too? whats the point of exclusive luxury when its in the reach of everyone?
      Tesco basics for the masses and Marks&Spencer premium for the new elite, think it cant happen, think it wont happen, think it isnt happening right now?
      You only have to look at the smug over infated commissar class to see the writing on the wall, we all get to experience the joys of rationing and bread queues while the new elite waft by us in their limos on the way to their private and exclusive luxury lifestyle!

      • 527
        shellingout says:

        Yup – totally agree with you there.

        Being a politician is no longer a vocation – it’s a career!

    • 571
      Grim Reaper's Return says:

      Bugger – I misheard the news item. Thought it was for an electric chair.

  170. 495
    You got the slimy barstard says:

    You got the slimy bastard Guido – well and truly stuffed like a Christmas Turkey – and Turkey is the word all right – now get the rest !

  171. 500
    pissed off voter says:

    For our current politicians, electric chairs are more appropriate than electric cars – on expenses, natch.

  172. 505
    righty right wing (mrs) says:

    Ah, smug mode.

    Well done Guido.

  173. 509
    Voter says:

    Keep em coming Guido my son.

    You are on the side of the righteous.

  174. 512
    Anonymous says:

    Only one word springs to mind: Caucescue,

    Andbody got a link to the vid?

  175. 513
    Anonymous says:

    Crikey, you’re up to a Fiat Cinquecento already…

  176. 515
    Bamber Cote de Gascogne says:

    guido So we have these two, Dolly and McBride ticked off…now to go for NewLabour’s use of postal voting.

  177. 516
    Dogger says:

    How many here had a Domino’s pizza last night? Think back… did it have a slightly guffy taste? Was the cheese as clean as it should be? And that’s before Draper starts his new job!!!

  178. 518
    Brown Nappie Man says:

    Mary Riddell gets a kicking on her comments blog

    bet the moderator will not pass moine, another reason why I no longet by this Nulab publicity sheet

    have a laff

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/maryriddell/5160540/Gordon-Brown-Star-of-his-own-horror-show.html?state=target#postacomment&postingId=5162831

    • 531
      Hatchet job says:

      Yes, it’s interesting to note that with the departure of McBride and Dolly Draper Gordon Brown will have to rely much more on the advice of his old chum Peter Mandelson.

      Who would have guessed that, except of course, Peter Mandelson?

  179. 521
    Fat, Smelly and a Cynic says:

    Are we really sure they are truly gone?

    Follow the money Guido – what’s the betting these slimeballs are still on some payroll somewhere continuing to act as McBrown’s minders?

  180. 525
    king chillout says:

    Hasn’t Draper heard of laptop computers yet ? Or even the little notebooks ?
    Much easier than lugging a bloody great PC box around.

    I hope someone followed the taxi. We need to know where he was going with the evidence.

    • 543
      Anonymous says:

      Thats Draper’s SOS. Its an IKEA pak, but he thinks it might save him from a walk in the woods.

  181. 529
    Perry Neeham says:

    Sith Institute, Hain, McPoison, Draper . . . don’t stop now Guido!

  182. 530
    Marzipan Dildo says:

    Draper has left the payroll!

  183. 532
    Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

    …It is a fact that Draper was expelled from his course at the Wright Institute (in Berkeley, not at Berkeley)….

    I’d seen this suggested but not recorded as a fact. Do tell us what he got down to.

  184. 535
    Anonymous says:

    Tory Wankers, you wont win the next election so fuck off.

    • 539
      Groucho says:

      Thank you, Oscar Wilde

      • 549
        shellingout says:

        Oh Dear. Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.

      • 567
        Anonymous says:

        look everyone, an example of tory elitism, see the repression inherent in the system, see the repression inherent in the system, see the repression inherent in the system. A little silver spoon green boy is no basis for a system of government.

    • 544
      Fat, Smelly and a Cynic says:

      We will

      And no

      Hope your stones not too cold with all the rain we’ve had lately?

    • 552
      grobdj says:

      Another or Browns SPADs online

    • 565
      righty right wing (mrs) says:

      Don’t be concerned everyone, there are bound to be a few errant Dolly Bots still in the system awaiting fresh orders that will never arrive.

      Eventually their bartteries will fade & they will be absorbed back into humanity.

    • 569
      Dr Thomas Gutterpress says:

      As a Doctor I am often asked “How can I prevent myself from becoming a foul mouthed left wing yob”?

      My course in Psychotherapy at Berkeley (not in Berkeley) suggested three possible solutions to your problem

      * Immerse yourself more deeply into the Party. Think more about the Party and how The Great Leader and the Party can help you. Attend more Party meetings. Consider joining the youth wing of the Party, watch more Party videos and speak to more Party members. Above all, think more about the Party

      * Have you ever read a book? I consider the latest work by Sir Derek Draper to be a definitive source of information on angry leftward leaning males.

      * Meths might help in certain circumstances.

    • 572
      DIck Puller says:

      Do not call me a tory.

    • 574
      Lord Mandy of WankingBoiz-on-Sunday says:

      Morning honey.

    • 581
      Sir Reginald Titbrain says:

      As others have said, it is not in the nature of types like Draper to go quietly into impoverishment when they either know so much or are in a position to claim they know so much. The money go round will be cranked into life soon, and a laundering operation put into gear. Old tabs will be called in, and offers and threats made in private conversations between shadowy figures; papers carrying the odd article by Draper will fortuitously get some decent scoops as might television channels, there might be an advance on an [acceptably Nulab friendly] book about his travails with offers of cooperation from the very top. All will be well in the world of Labour politics, because Draper and McBride have gone, but the scheming, the subterfuge and the contempt for us all remains.

    • 595
      simon r says:

      Well thankyou for your in-depth analysis of the current situation, that was most enlightening. I look forward to your next informed essay regarding the merits of employing spin doctors and how politics can be cleaned up for the benefit of all that place trust in the people we elect to high office.

      p.s yes we will.

    • 598
      Grytpype-thynne says:

      Oh dear, all that educashun wasted!

    • 616
      i like gold says:

      make mine a large Crème de menthe please

  185. 540
    The Beast Of Clerkenwell says:

    He can always change his name to Reinaldo Da Draper, its seems there is an opening to be filled.

    • 548
      Anonymous says:

      Dont bring Mandy into this.

    • 576
      Butt Plugs for Hire says:

      Phil de Harris

    • 579
      Right Bastard says:

      Ben Doon and Phil McAvity

    • 582
      Andy Carpark says:

      Hello Derek I would like to introduce myself I am Sharon and I am your team leader at Burger Star Eatery for today Derek.

      Derek we currently have vacancies for new crew members from all strata of society and none at several of our outlets and we take pride in everything we do Derek.

      Derek could this be the opportunity you have been looking for here at Burger Star Eatery we pride ourselves on our Investors In People kitemark and toilet seats wot you could eat your dinner off as is probably your wont Derek.

      Please note that outstanding crew members who go the extra mile may expect early promotion to Fries Captain.

      Derek thank you so much for your interest in Burger Star Eatery for today Derek we are here to help you at all times all strata of society

      • 600
        D. Draper says:

        Dear Andy

        Many thanks for the offer. If you are short of frying oil, you could wring some out of my hair.

        Derek

  186. 541
    Ben Turpin says:

    My dad fucked maggie thatcher, and he got a mouthfull of toilet roll bits, she was a dirty tramp.

  187. 557
    kbdguy says:

    FFS the Wright Institute and UC Berkeley are “practically the same place”. (quoted from the Dolly youtube video) :D

  188. 570
    kbdguy says:

    “Draper told the Guardian he bitterly regretted his behaviour and said that he should never have welcomed emails from McBride”

    Looks like now that McBride has lost his value – even Draper is turning on him.

    Typical Labour Student behaviour ….

    • 584
      BOFL http://ageofkali.blogspot.com/ says:

      ‘it wasnae me’………

      repeat x infinity…….

      he must have learned that at lunch with the saviour of the world.

  189. 583
    Damian 'Dastardly' McBride says:

    I would have got away with it, if it wasn’t for you pesky kids

  190. 588
    Milf Hunter says:

    Draper is a Twat but that kate’s got loverly tits.

  191. 591
    R.McGeddon says:

    As the U.S. President gets a new dog, our Dear Leader loses one

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article6094059.ece

  192. 596
    Tit sucker says:

    Draper is a Twat but that kate’s got loverly tits.

    • 679
      Dolly - There’s that creep who nicked our chips says:

      Probably better to keep family out of these posts. Not fair game.
      Better to target just the on “fake” in their family.

  193. 597
    fillthegreekasmandywouldsay says:

    Did I read above it’s to be SIR Derek Draper soon? Hope the sword doesn’t slip Your Majesty.

  194. 599
    fillthegreekasmandywouldsay says:

    Come to think of it …….if Liz 1 was still around, this lot would have been parted from their heads by now

  195. 602
    Anonymous says:

    Nice to see Dolly on his way but now may be the right time to ask a sensible question. What is the difference between attacking the wives of Cameron and Osborne and the appalling treatment of Drapers wife on this site? I am all for going after the scum like Draper and McBride but cannot see any difference between them and some of your contributors, at least in the tactics. Stick to the proper targets guys – or accept that you are just as big a bunch of hoons as they are.

    • 609
      firstlight40 says:

      I agree that personal attacks on Mrs Draper are not nice and are unnecessary ….

      however no-one on here making those attacks is doing it while being paid for by taxpayers money – and there’s no conspiracy involved either…

    • 618
      Anonymous says:

      I agree with your point about taxpayer money but it does not make any difference to the principle. The fact that they were paid just adds another offence and provides a sanction. The issue is whether it is ever acceptable to go after family. I am sure Guido would resent anyone targeting his family (as I think they have) so why not apply the principle on all sides.

    • 620
      Anonymous says:

      He’s right you know – everyone over to gm.tv.com now

    • 623
      Kate's agent says:

      She’s in the public eye. She courts celebrity. Fair game.

      • 669
        Anonymous says:

        Same applies to the wives of Osborne and Cameron and that does not make them fair game – time to stop behaving like spotty 15 year olds and focus on getting the real targets and not family.

  196. 603

    Derek Draper is Zaphod Beeblebrox!

    He is, you know. Just as scruffy, too, and as badly dressed.

    • 612
      Dogger says:

      Nah, Zaphod Beeblebrox may have been an intergalactic wheeler-dealer, but he wasn’t a prat.

  197. 605
    Gordon Brown (Sub-prime Mentalist) says:

    Mr m m m m m m mr m m mr Speaker, I commend the electric car to the whole house.

  198. 606
    fillthegreekasmandywouldsay says:

    Agree

  199. 610
    Blake's7 says:

    Guido I hope you are going to do a piece on greengate. What I find absolutely flabbergasting is that Ms Smith said that the police have been doing an impartial investigation into this case and should not be interfered with by politicians. Why then have the results of the CPS been given to Labour MPs prior to their announcement. How can that racist Vas say that it was civil servants over exaggerating that caused the police to arrest Damien when the CPS have not published the results. Amazing then that a civil servant can make up a pack of lies and spin it to the police and then we have them crashing into Westminster breaking 500 year old traditions. Maybe I should phone the police and tell them that I am concerned that our leader is a lying, corrupt, mentally unstable criminal holding our country to ransom. Oh yeah, that’s not exaggeration.

  200. 613
    Doom N' Broon says:

    I often find that Ebay are completely up their own backside and lacking in any humour, no surprise then that have removed Dolly’s desk and deprived someone form getting a real bargain!

  201. 615
    nell says:

    Sir Gus O’Donnell is facing accusations of whitewash having rejected calls for an enquiry into Downing Street’s dirty trick campaign. Sir Gus has accepted assurances (Who from?) that no other advisers or ministers are involved. (Well that’s alright then). The conservatives have lodged a formal protest with Sir Gus after he accepted, without investigating the facts, that McBride had acted alone. The Cabinet has also turned down calls for him to investigate what Tom Watson knew about Red Rag etc. Tom Watson has not been seen in public since the scandal broke. No doubt he’s been holed up with McBride frantically cleaning up his emails, although he needn’t have bothered because Sir Gus is not going to ask to look at them.
    I hear Downing Street are urgently in need of more white emulsion.

  202. 617
    Anonymous says:

    Starmer QC says no charges v Green or Galley!

    • 627
      CuttingEdge says:

      Another steaming turd dropped on Gordon’s desk – they must have a healthy supply of nose pegs in Downing Street these days. Maybe the met looked at this blast from the past and decided it was too toxic to get involved in second time round, given who the original offender was back in the day:

    • 629
      shellingout says:

      Well – there’s a surprise. Not least as it’s common practice to leak documents and has been for decades.

      Gordon is on a sticky wicket with Damien McBride’s e-mails so perhaps Green and Galley’s charges were traded off against the possible and lengthy repercussions of those.

    • 678
      Dolly - There’s that creep who nicked our chips says:

      As the removal of this odious government nears reality, we are going to see more hacks taking risks, more senior police officers taking caution, more civil servants procrastinating etc etc.
      As government becomes more difficult to control, these incompetents will spend more time firefighting and less time actually “managing” the country.
      (Not sure if that’s not a blessing, actually)
      That and feeding from the trough, of course, as their end game unravels.
      Guido has done great service in badly wounding the filth that is their spin machine, but this is not the time to take the kid gloves off.
      They are mortally wounded – but not dead. Yet.

  203. 619
    charlie the tramp says:

    What’s he hiding?

    Why has Fat Jacqui not sent the Gestapo round to seize the evidence?

    http://blogs.mirror.co.uk/mirror-images/2009/04/derek-draper-labour-spin-docto.html

    • 672
      Alibarbs says:

      More to the point, why has the page relating to Draper’s removal of his computer been taken down?

  204. 624
    English Liberation Front says:

    From Labour’s website:-

    “Labour’s purpose is fairness: fair rules, fair chances and a fair say for everyone.

    In 1995 we set out our values in Clause IV of the Labour Party’s constitution:

    ‘The Labour Party is a democratic socialist party. It believes that by the strength of our common endeavour we achieve more than we achieve alone, so as to create for each of us the means to realise our true potential and for all of us a community in which power, wealth and opportunity are in the hands of the many, not the few.’

    Those democratic values have guided us through eleven years in government: everything from the large canvas of economic stability, full employment and record investment in public services, to the fine detail of the minimum wage, free museum entry and civil partnerships.

    Policy making in the Labour Party

    Policy in the Labour Party is made through a process called Partnership in Power which is designed to involve all party stakeholders as well as the wider community in shaping party policy and support the relationship between the party in the country and the party in government.

    Partnership in Power allows Labour to formulate policy and build towards our next manifesto over a three year period while also ensuring a year-round dialogue between the party and government.”

    Apart from the obvious here, the last sentence is interesting. Doesn’t mention people who are not members of the party or government. Anyone know how many members they have? Their office didn’t seem to know.

    • 643
      A stakeholder writes... says:

      >>Policy in the Labour Party … is designed to involve all party stakeholders as well as the wider community

      Ah yes, stakeholders first and the wider community second.

      But what is a stakeholder exactly?

      A stakeholder is a large organisation or lobby group whose opinion far outweighs that of any other individual or group that is opposed to what you are trying to achieve.

      You will see stakeholders appearing in airport expansion requests, nuclear power plant applications, in fact stakeholders will mysteriously appear almost anywhere that there is likely to be significant opposition to what is being proposed. Stakeholders are often small lobby groups or business forums hoping for contracts.

      Livingstone managed to push congestion charging through with support by
      “stakeholders”, in that case it was mostly cycling lobbyists and local green groups.

      As for Labour Party stakeholders, well, forget one person, one vote. Stakeholders in this context means cabals of party leaders and activists deciding what is and isn’t good for the party. The drones just get to fill a few envelopes and knock on doors when needed.

      If you are opposing a planning application near you and a stakeholder appears in the process, forget it, you have already lost.

  205. 633
    Media watch says:

    I notice that thee civil servant’s name who leaked the embarrasing information for Labour is having his name regularly scrolled across the screen on Sky now. The clear implication being, you mess with ZNL and we’ll destroy your career.

    Vaz on News 24 now saying that confidential information in the papers is a bad thing. Only when Labour are in government of course.

    Damien Green about to speak

  206. 635
    R.McGeddon says:

    Matters getting desperate to be wheeling out the oleaginous Keith Vazoline

  207. 636
    Roger says:

    Well done – you’ve given Draper a deserved kicking and he’s flat on his back. Unless he tries to make a political recovery, leave him alone. Attacking the person, not the argument, is distasteful and we shouldn’t glory in doing it, however justified and necessary it sometimes is.

  208. 648
    R.McGeddon says:

    Vazoline was also on Channel4 News. No-one does oleaginous to the same degree as he does.

    • 650
      R.McGeddon says:

      That said, Alan Milbum can do a nice bit of unctuous whenever he gets in front of TV cameras.

  209. 654
    arthur says:

    Is this recurring name DAMIEN anything to do with 666?

  210. 661
    Nothing changes says:

    Draper has made himself into a laughing stock over the email smear story hasn’t he?

    But then I ask you to read the comments left about this Brownlicking article he wrote for the Observer in January 2008.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jan/06/politics.labour?commentpage=1

  211. 663
  212. 664
    Full responsibility? says:

    Asked whether he took responsibility, Brown said: “I take full responsibility for what happens, and that’s why the person who was responsible went immediately.”

    Do you mean you have resigned Gordon?

  213. 670
    Mr X Cherie's strap on fuck boy says:

    Kate has had enough. No more anal lube for the strap on, he’s going have to take it the way Cherie gave it him.

  214. 671
    Anonymous says:

    It’s Kate I feel sorry for. Marrying beneath herself was one thing, but how much more of this humiliation can the dear lady take?

  215. 683
    Jackanory says:

    It is interesting that Dolly’s ‘explanation’ from the Canaries is still on LabourList.

  216. 684
    Witterer says:

    This one isn’t going away any time soon. A “must read”

  217. 686
    Anonymous says:

    I wonder if Kate Garraway has been feeling a bit awkward when this story and her husband, Derek Draper’s, role in it is mentioned on GMTV?

  218. 687
    The Ghost of Christmas Past... says:

    Damien McBride is a petty Labour Snide,
    While his pal Dolly Draper blogged the Labourlist paper,
    Poking smears at the Torys with untrue storys,
    But it all went astray just this week in one day,
    And the voters all say that Nu Labour will Pay.

  219. 688
    Anonymous says:

    Labour left of centre…? Don’t make me laugh!

  220. 689
    Sue Doughty says:

    This new idea of having us drive electric cars comes as the electricity bills have been hiked up by more than £100 per household to cover new environmental taxes. Mandy is therefore harangueing us to spend more on coal powered electricity so that we pay even more travel taxes and his party gets their main sponsor (the coal miners unions) into better job security.
    It has to be the most blindingly obvious con trick Mandy has ever performed. And that is saying something! Please don’t let him get away with it under the cover of a backroom resignation.

  221. 690
    Screwtape says:

    New to this blog which was brought to my attention by the recent headlines. I am enjoying it, though I do find the references to Dolly rather insulting, particularly as he refused to play for South Africa. Trouble is Peter Hain liked him and that’s no recommendation.

  222. 691
    Anonymous says:

    derick the rim licker draper brown lips his way to the bottom of politics



The Iranian Model is Hitler | Lawrence J. Haas
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DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

Maybe if they really wanted to “decontaminate the Labour brand” with business people, they shouldn’t have totally buggered up the economy?

Just a thought.


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