Operation Red Meat appears to have transformed into Operation ‘just announce anything’ as this morning the Department for Transport has come out with a new policy of reducing annoying train tannoy announcements. The policy, that was presumably greeted with “yes and ho” in the Horseferry Road office, will see the “endless torrent” of train announcements curbed to make journeys “a little more peaceful”.
📢 '...put unwanted newspapers in the bin...'
— Rt Hon Grant Shapps MP (@grantshapps) January 21, 2022
This is one example of the announcements that we're getting rid of, making the passenger experience better and delivering on the Williams-Shapps #PlanForRail.
Read more on announcements we’re removing 👇https://t.co/rSHLqZ5itH pic.twitter.com/xvp09Op4m9
In a promo video, Shapps can be seen reading the Telegraph before putting it down and asking viewers – à la Clarkson -“do we really need to be told to put our newspapers in the bin?”. The video itself is captioned “📢 ‘…put unwanted newspapers in the bin…'”. Given the Telegraph’s long-time loyalty to the government, Guido’s amazed Shapps’ SpAds didn’t make the obvious gag, and have him reading the Guardian…
Grant Shapps made the rounds this morning to announce huge nationalisation plans for UK railways, with the government set to launch ‘Great British Railways’ in 2023 as the replacement for Network Rail. The new state-run operator will control ticket prices and timetables (although private companies will still operate most of the trains), and new flexible season tickets will be introduced next month to accommodate home working habits. The era of Big Government continues…
Speaking on Sky News this morning, Shapps said:
“We’re going to have one, single, familiar organisation called Great British Railways. It will run all the different aspects of the railway in order to bring the whole thing together. It’s three years to the week, actually, since that disastrous timetable change in May ’18 where the entire system melted down. And when people said ‘who’s got control of this’ the answer was no one. There was no guiding mind, there was no – as the media used to like to say – Fat Controller looking after the railway, and today’s reforms, what I’m announcing, takes care of all of that…”
Looks like Shapps is more than happy to assume the role…
A new report finds rail passengers "face unacceptable continued disruption and uncomfortable journeys." 🚆
— The Green Party (@TheGreenParty) January 28, 2020
Privatisation has not worked, its time to bring the rails back into public hands! pic.twitter.com/wTZnFYIXlk
Just a couple of problems with the Green Party’s new campaign. Firstly Network Rail, the owner and infrastructure manager of most of the railway network in Great Britain, is owned by the state. The Department for Transport controls it and it has no shareholders, so reinvests all its income in the railways. Secondly, electrifying the actual rails would be a very bad idea. Most inter-city British trains rely on overhead power lines. Cheaper, safer and less dangerous for wildlife. Dumb campaign, dumb slogan…
Before he left the department the former transport secretary, Chris Grayling, wanted to publicise the phasing out of the Pacer trains so despised by commuters. Grayling joked that he wanted to ‘blow up’ a Pacer train in a populist move to demonstrate the government’s understanding of the public’s widespread detestation of them. In response, Gavin Williamson, who was at the time Defence Secretary, offered to lend him a tank…
Whilst the photo op would have secured an incredible redemptive legacy for the former minister, the explosive imagery was never sanctioned, with the government instead looking at turning the hated “buses on train wheels” into public spaces for social enterprises. The Department of Transport is running a competition to award 3 carriages to the best 3 community projects put forward. Always trust the civil service to ruin everyone’s fun…
