Douglas Alexander Loses His Seat

Labour’s campaign chief is out:

Meet the new ‘Baby of the House’:

maxresdefault

Mhairi Black, the 20 year old SNP candidate. The youngest MP since 1667…

Lagos Lovely

Diezani-Alison-Madueke

In our continuing series on hot looking energy ministers we bring you the current President of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) and Nigerian Minister of Petroleum Resources Diezani Alison-Madueke. Diezani is the brains behind Nigeria’s plan to remove state subsidies on fuel prices – a sound free market leaning policy reform. The fabulous minister is rumoured to have a taste for luxurious hotel suites and private jets. She can join our cartel anytime.. 

See also: Nuclear Totty and Phwoarr

More Censorship From the Politically Correct ASA

The censorious bunch of self-appointed bureaucrats at the Advertising Standards Authority have targeted anti-gay marriage adverts, anti-environmentalist advertsFathers4Justice adverts and pro-hanging adverts in their insidious campaign against politically incorrect causes.

Now Chris Smith’s bloated regulator has decreed that a weight loss advert featuring a woman in a bikini can no longer be shown on the London Underground. Because some lefties moaned on Twitter.

The ASA say:

“Although the ad won’t appear in the meantime, we’ve launched an investigation to establish if it breaks harm and offence rules or is socially irresponsible. We will now carefully and objectively explore the complaints that have prompted concerns around body confidence and promptly publish our findings.”

These people must be stopped.

Energy Minister Totty Watch (Continued)

GEORGIA TOTTY

Yesterday after after we asked in relation to Ségolène Royal, “Is there a hotter looking energy minister anywhere in the world?”, Katrina Kelly of the World Energy Council got in touch to complain:

Hopefully today’s hunky energy minister will softer her stance. Georgia’s Minister of Energy Kakha Kaladze used to play left-back for Serie A club A.C. Milan, but now oversees his country’s booming hydro-power sector. He manages to balance his political life with numerous business interests, including overseeing his investment company which at one point happened to own 45% of The Georgia Hydropower Construction Company. Dam!

Nuclear Totty

royal-segolene-ps-2643126_1713

France’s Energy Minister, François Hollande’s mère du bébé Ségolène Royal is on smoking form at the moment, pushing for a new generation of Nuclear Power plants. By replacing the aging power stations France will position itself as the global leader in cheap, safe and clean energy.

More importantly, is there a better looking Energy Minister anywhere in the world?

Data Shows Miliband Less Sexy Than Coalition Leaders

yougov-attractiveness

It is not so #SexyMiliband according to a YouGov survey bring further proof that we have passed peak #SexyMiliband. Nick Clegg is the housewife’s choice, Cameron is sloppy seconds. Ed comes a distant third just ahead of Nigel Farage.

MiliFandom is clearly a minority interest…

Karen Danczuk’s St George’s Day Message

An exclusive St George’s Day treat for Guido readers, courtesy of the dragon-slaying Mrs D:

More like St Phwoarrr-ge’s Day!

#MiliFandom: Fantasy versus Reality

Is Miliband sexy? We report, you decide… 

The fantasies:bedmiliband

The reality:
ed-gif

Guido suspects this mass hysteria was triggered by Caitlin Moran in The Times last week (Are women ‘perving’ over Ed Miliband?) and the Daily Mail (Red Ed’s VERY tangled love life). Apparently the whole #MiliFandom thing is driven by teenage girls. Remember kids, socialism is never cool…

Totty Watch: What the Hens Really Thought Of Ed

[gigya src=”https://abfiles.s3.amazonaws.com/swf/audioboom_default_player_v1.swf” style=”background-color:transparent; display:block; min-width:300px; max-width:700px;” flashvars=”image_option=small&imgURL=https%3A%2F%2Fd15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net%2Fi%2F14130181%2F300x300%2Fc&link_color=%2358d1eb&mp3Author=jeremywils0n&mp3Duration=10240.0&mp3LinkURL=https%3A%2F%2Faudioboom.com%2Fboos%2F3101829-ed-miliband-terrified-of-hens&mp3Time=09.30am+20+Apr+2015&mp3Title=Ed+Miliband+Terrified+of+Hens&mp3URL=https%3A%2F%2Faudioboom.com%2Fboos%2F3101829-ed-miliband-terrified-of-hens.mp3%3Fsource%3Dwordpress&player_theme=light&rootID=boo_player_1&show_title=true&waveimgURL=https%3A%2F%2Fd15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net%2Fi%2Fw%2F2378537″ width=”480″ height=”150″ allowFullScreen=”true” wmode=”transparent”]

According to one attendee on LBC this morning “he looked terrified, absolutely terrified. And he wouldn’t actually come off the bus. He was just kind of lingering on the steps, waving sort of tentatively.”

Which reminded Guido of this:

Ed Miliband, stud muffin.

“Grip Me, Whip Me!”

Here is “operatic champagne socialist” Melinda Hughes – riding crop and fishnets included – in Guido’s favourite musical election special yet.

Miliband Beats His Wife

As does Farage.

But Miriam Clegg really thrashes Nick in the Daily Mail poll of Leaders vs Spouses

Blue-KIP

By day, John Langley is UKIP’s deputy chairman in Bristol, also standing for the party in next month’s city elections. By night he is Johnny Rockard, star of “Johnny Rockard gives Welsh BDSM MILF Bella pain and pleasure” and “Johnny Rockard and Xzena Porn Warrior Princess Extreme”, and other such quality motion pictures.

Well at least he hasn’t said anything racist on Twitter…

Who Was Ed’s Secret Girlfriend in 2005?

“I first met Ed when I went to a friend’s house for dinner,” Justine Miliband tells the Mirror today:

“I was interested in him, I thought he was good looking and clever and seemed to be unattached. But we just went down a conversational cul-de-sac. Apparently we had nothing in common. He wanted to talk about economics – one of my least favourite subjects. None of our conversations went anywhere. Then I found out he was secretly going out with the woman who had invited us for dinner. I was furious.”

But who was Ed’s secret lover at the time? According to John Rentoul it was Stephanie Flanders…

Flanders has admitted to dating both Ed Balls and Ed Miliband, though friends had always claimed it was in the nineties. Curious…

“Could the secrecy have been because he was a Treasury special adviser Stephanie Flanders was BBC economics journalist”, mused Rentoul on Twitter today. Questions to which the answer is oooooh.

Page 3 Totty Back in Print

… In today’s Guardian…

Crosby Declares: “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”

It’s all go down under. In a wide-ranging pre-election intervention, the cast of Geordie Shore, MTV’s Newcastle-based genitourinary gorefest, have had their say on the party leaders. True blue Charlotte Crosby brings the PM some positive news, at last:

“I’d s**k off David Cameron”


One way to shut him up…

Theresa May’s Busty Budget Cleavage Divides Internet

How naughty of some social media users not to focus on George Osborne and his Long Term Economic Plan, rather debate the relative merits of Theresa May’s cleavage:

Even Edwina Currie got in on the action:

But the BBC coverage hardly helped matters, constantly panning the camera toward the Home Secretary. This is unedited footage:

We report, you decide…

Kensington Rumour Mill: Late New Entry

There’s a surprise new entry in the race to be the next Tory MP for Kensington: the glamorous union-slayer Simone Finn. Despite being an adviser to the Cabinet Office, Finn is not currently seen as the “Downing Street candidate” and has business background. But the mother of two is an old friend of Dave’s. Regular readers will remember her though as being central to Frankie Maude’s trade union reforms. She’s feisty…

Interview With Robyn Exton: The Most Famous Lesbian in Tech

 

In 2013 Robyn Exton launched “Dattch,” a lesbian dating app that allowed horny women to discover other like-minded women near by. This week the company pivoted and became “Her,” an all-encompassing lesbian app the aims to become the one-stop online space for queer woman worldwide. We caught up with Robyn to find out more.

Men are unsurprisingly banned from becoming users of “Her”…

Salma Yaqoob in Hijab Porn Shock

yaqoob hijab

Salma Yaqoob, the loony former leader of Respect, came to prominence as the hijab wearing Muslim woman elected to Birmingham city council. Yaqoob has just followed @DesiCruise10inc on Twitter, a porn account dedicated to posting adult pictures of “babes” wearing hijabs. Very adult (NSFW).

“The hijab is not about the denial of female (or male) sexuality. Quite the opposite… the aim of hijab is to de-emphasise sexuality in public interactions, whilst encouraging sexuality in private ones.” – Salma Yaqoob 

Not sure if that’s haram…

UPDATE: Salma Yaqoob has unfollowed @DesiCruise10inc

yaqoob update

One Peer A-Perving

  • Labour Lord’s Outside Interests in ‘High Class Escorts’ and ‘Humiliation’
  • Lord Berekely Insists I certainly haven’t used their services”

Labour Lord (Tony) Berkeley likes to keep up with his interests on Twitter. The former chairman of the European Rail Freight Association follows @EurostarUK, @RailfutureFret, @RMTunion and, er, @MidwestEscorts.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

John Curtice, professor of politics at Strathclyde University, says….

“The UKIP vote is going to the Tories. That’s the story of the first week of the campaign.”

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