Stella’s Posh Totty Fan Vote

Tom Watson is going to win by a country mile…

Environment Mayor Totty Watch: Brazil Edition

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The latest sizzling piece of eye-candy in our series of butterfly-in-stomach inducing green-friendly politicians is the hunky Eduardo Leite, the youngest mayor in Brazilian history. When he’s not nonchalantly sipping yerba mate topless (see above), Eduardo is transforming his city Pelotas into a bastion of sustainable urban mobility in order to reduce carbon emissions.

eduardo beach

Gostoso…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Greek Goddess Edition

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Our popular series of titillating energy ministers continues today with Grecian beauty Eva Kaili. After many years serving as a member of the Hellenic Parliament, Eva now sits in the European Parliament where she pushes her progressive agenda on the Committee on Industry, Research and Energy. She’s meze-merising…

India Porn Ban Reversed After Uprising

Members of India’s solo surfer community have risen up after being shafted by their government’s ban on 857 pornographic websites. Opponents beat off threats from the Department of Communications to introduce them to the penal system, and, after keeping it up for a few hours, the state has now accepted they couldn’t pull it off. In an attempt to not further rub up voters the wrong way, the ruling BJP party eventually admitted the ban had been a cock-up and yanked the policy. Attempts to police the internet have been shown to be a phallus-y…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Las Vegas Edition

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The latest addition to our sexy series of sizzling Energy ministers is the sensational Elizabeth Halseth, a former state senator who became the youngest woman ever to be elected to the Nevada Legislature. Despite throwing herself into her work on the Nevada Senate’s Labor and Energy Committee, Elizabeth’s political career quickly fell apart following her husband’s arrest on suspicion of “open and gross lewdness“. Viva Las Vegas!

50 Shades of Burnham

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Guido has spent the afternoon in the strange vortex that is the Andy Burnham online fandom. And it was really, really weird.

There’s the usual fan art:

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Which starts to get a bit weird…

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And then there is this:

A rabbit talking about crashing Liz Kendall’s party and smashing up the Westminster bubble with baseball bats. Still with us?

Then there are the sexual fantasies…

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If you though the Mili-fandom was weird, spend 20 mins searching Andy Burnham on Tumblr

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Bossche Totty Edition

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The latest addition to Gaia’s burgeoning gallery of hot environment minister babes is the alluring Freya Van den Bossche. Freya became the youngest minister in Belgium’s history when she was appointed Minister of Environment, Consumer Affairs and Sustainable Development. Known for her piercing blue eyes and “throaty voice“, Freya’s down to earth approach to politics is widely admired.

album_large_433032Gaia likes her a waffle lot…

Tech Totty: Ukrainian Bombshell Edition

Jaanika Merilon

The second offering in our new series of titillating tech ministers continues with Ukrainian  Minister of Economic Development and Trade Jaanika Merilo, the veteran tech investor who has been brought in to boost Ukraine’s e-government initiative. Jaanika aims to improve the business climate by using “digital solutions” to fight institutional corruption. knife totty

More than lip service….

Saucy Susanna Reid Seductively Sucks Her Finger

Good Morning Britain host Susanna Reid had to improvise when she forgot her spoon this morning…

Twosday Lookilikey: Wendoline Morton

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On the left Wallace & Gromit love interest Wendoline…

…To the right Wendy Morton, the new West Midlands Tory MP.

Shocking Cabinet Gender Pay Gap Revealed

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Following the government announcement today that they will force companies to disclose their gender pay gap, it seems only right to look at how David Cameron performs on the same metric. After all he himself says the requirement will “cast sunlight on the discrepancies and create the pressure we need for change, driving women’s wages up”. Quite…

After carrying out an extensive gender pay audit, Guido can reveal that female members of the Cabinet are paid a shocking 8.4% less than their male counterparts. Men in the Cabinet are paid on average* £126,478 , while women on average* are paid just £116,693…

*Calculation based on the mean average wage by gender for all who attend cabinet.

Soap Opera: Sexy Shower MP’s Story is Sud Dud

New Tory MP Johnny Mercer got Westminster into a lather over his sexy shower advert, but was it all a sham(poo)?

Mercer’s bubble seems to have burst after fitness trainer Vince Ciolino (below, right) came forward to the Plymouth Herald to pour cold water on his steamy claim to fame:

“Johnny and I did the final shoot together, then the advert was aired and it seems they have used my naked scenes and Johnny’s clothed scenes. There are two different people in that advert.

I suppose it’s a little bit of exposure for him to say that he was in an advert. But I run a fitness business and my clients know the way that I do my modelling work, it goes on my reputation. It’s detrimental to my reputation that the advert was put out and it’s someone else.”

Sud-denly, Johnny admits: “it looks pretty much exactly like me. But if it is somebody else that’s good, hopefully the Mickey taking can stop now”.

What a shower…

Brooks ‘Likes’ Another Mystery Social Media Blonde

You would have thought old Brooks Newmark would have learned his lesson about mysterious blondes on social media. So it’s a little surprising to see what he has been up to on LinkedIn:

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude” says Brooks’ seductive model friend. Indeed…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Left Wing Firebrand Edition

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Say hello to Delphine Batho, the latest addition to our increasingly popular series of Environment Minister beauties. A lifetime left-wing activist, Delphine became the French Minister of the Ecology in 2012 but was fired by President Hollande after she criticised cuts to her department.

She also received criticism for hogging a “logement intermédiaire” apartment in Paris intended for low-income famlies. What’s French for Bob Crow?

Tech Totty Watch: France’s ‘Miss Louboutin’

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Following on from the popularity of Gaia’s Energy Minister Totty Watch, Techno thought he would give readers his own offering.

Meet Fleur Pellerin, aka Miss Louboutin, the minxy Minister of Culture and Communication who was instrumental in pushing for a pro-startup agenda as Minister the Digital Economy. A staunch privacy advocate, Fleur has been rocking the French establishment with her modernising approach to politics. Voulez-vous coder avec moi…

Police Investigate Sexy Shower Scene MP

It’s been a busy first few weeks for new Plymouth MP Johnny Mercer. First he put his wife on the public payroll, then hit the headlines for lathering up topless in a shower gel advert, and now he is under investigation by the police. That escalated quickly.

The preened poser has lawyered up after bitter opponents called the cops in over his election expenditure. Mercer mysteriously told supporters he needed “some manpower, and a decent dose of Commando Spirit” on “the night-time of 6/7 May”.

The next day, polling day, his defeated Labour opponent Alison Seabeck claims she “suddenly woke up with every bridge and every lamppost covered in posters and fliers”, claiming this “does influence people significantly and it is improper”.

Mercer himself paid for the £1,642 clean up out of his own pocket and insists:

“I am confident I haven’t broken the law and this allegation is being dealt with by my lawyers.”

Well, he looked clean in the advert…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Phwoarr-za Italia Edition

italina totty

Today’s contribution to our occasional series of sexy environment ministers is the smoking hot Stefania Prestigiacomo. Stefania was the Italian Minister for Environment, Land and Sea until 2011 and used her time in office to agitate for a pan-global environmental organisation that would be able to respond to global crisis’. She’s also fond of hanging out in a bikini…

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Bunga bunga!

50 Shades of Nanny Statism

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The German “Youth Protection Authority” have ruled that websites can only offer sexually explicit ebooks for download between the hours of between 10pm and 6am. The decision was made following a complaint that children were getting their digital mitts on a popular ebook titled “Schlauchgelüste”…

How German bureaucrats, who don’t have the best reputation with the whole banning books thing, will decide what is ‘explicit’ has not been explained. It’s rumoured hausfrau’s are digitally stockpiling Mills & Boon in preparation for lonely afternoons…

Voice of Angel to Critics: “Hopefully Your Dick Will Fall Off”

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Charlotte Church spent her Saturday marching with the People’s Assembly Against Austerity – whose aims include “increasing taxes on the super-rich” and “closing tax loopholes”.

As Guido revealed in the Sun on Sunday, this is the same Cardiff crooner who is the director of five companies all registered to the London address of Thomas Harris Accountants.

Alligator Wine Records Ltd, Charlotte Church Ltd, PACC Music Limited, Bounce Publishing Limited and Chick Flicks Ltd are all conveniently based at the firm’s offices in Merton Abbey Mills. Thomas Harris boast on their website:

“Lowering and deferring tax is, of course, a key aim… We can make your capital as tax-efficient as possible, taking advantage of allowances and reliefs of which many people are unaware, and ensuring you pay no more tax than you need… [including] tax-efficient gifting strategies”

What would her new comrades say about such sharp practices?

Seems Charlotte is finding her newfound critics rather taxing:

Voice of an angel, vocabulary of a drain…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Norwegian Lumberjack Edition

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The latest offering in our series of sexy energy ministers is former Norwegian Minister of Petroleum and Energy Ola Borten Mo. Posing here with his wife Anna, Ola shows off the steely disposition with which he pushes through his isolationist policies.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Angela Rayner on Labour’s economic policy (via Speccie):

“It is a bit of a sh*t-or-bust strategy…”

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