Environment Minister Totty Watch: Bossche Totty Edition

freya

The latest addition to Gaia’s burgeoning gallery of hot environment minister babes is the alluring Freya Van den Bossche. Freya became the youngest minister in Belgium’s history when she was appointed Minister of Environment, Consumer Affairs and Sustainable Development. Known for her piercing blue eyes and “throaty voice“, Freya’s down to earth approach to politics is widely admired.

album_large_433032Gaia likes her a waffle lot…

Tech Totty: Ukrainian Bombshell Edition

Jaanika Merilon

The second offering in our new series of titillating tech ministers continues with Ukrainian  Minister of Economic Development and Trade Jaanika Merilo, the veteran tech investor who has been brought in to boost Ukraine’s e-government initiative. Jaanika aims to improve the business climate by using “digital solutions” to fight institutional corruption. knife totty

More than lip service….

Saucy Susanna Reid Seductively Sucks Her Finger

Good Morning Britain host Susanna Reid had to improvise when she forgot her spoon this morning…

Twosday Lookilikey: Wendoline Morton

wendy

On the left Wallace & Gromit love interest Wendoline…

…To the right Wendy Morton, the new West Midlands Tory MP.

Shocking Cabinet Gender Pay Gap Revealed

cabinet gender pay gap

Following the government announcement today that they will force companies to disclose their gender pay gap, it seems only right to look at how David Cameron performs on the same metric. After all he himself says the requirement will “cast sunlight on the discrepancies and create the pressure we need for change, driving women’s wages up”. Quite…

After carrying out an extensive gender pay audit, Guido can reveal that female members of the Cabinet are paid a shocking 8.4% less than their male counterparts. Men in the Cabinet are paid on average* £126,478 , while women on average* are paid just £116,693…

*Calculation based on the mean average wage by gender for all who attend cabinet.

Soap Opera: Sexy Shower MP’s Story is Sud Dud

New Tory MP Johnny Mercer got Westminster into a lather over his sexy shower advert, but was it all a sham(poo)?

Mercer’s bubble seems to have burst after fitness trainer Vince Ciolino (below, right) came forward to the Plymouth Herald to pour cold water on his steamy claim to fame:

“Johnny and I did the final shoot together, then the advert was aired and it seems they have used my naked scenes and Johnny’s clothed scenes. There are two different people in that advert.

I suppose it’s a little bit of exposure for him to say that he was in an advert. But I run a fitness business and my clients know the way that I do my modelling work, it goes on my reputation. It’s detrimental to my reputation that the advert was put out and it’s someone else.”

Sud-denly, Johnny admits: “it looks pretty much exactly like me. But if it is somebody else that’s good, hopefully the Mickey taking can stop now”.

What a shower…

Brooks ‘Likes’ Another Mystery Social Media Blonde

You would have thought old Brooks Newmark would have learned his lesson about mysterious blondes on social media. So it’s a little surprising to see what he has been up to on LinkedIn:

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude” says Brooks’ seductive model friend. Indeed…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Left Wing Firebrand Edition

delphine totty

Say hello to Delphine Batho, the latest addition to our increasingly popular series of Environment Minister beauties. A lifetime left-wing activist, Delphine became the French Minister of the Ecology in 2012 but was fired by President Hollande after she criticised cuts to her department.

She also received criticism for hogging a “logement intermédiaire” apartment in Paris intended for low-income famlies. What’s French for Bob Crow?

Tech Totty Watch: France’s ‘Miss Louboutin’

fleur

Following on from the popularity of Gaia’s Energy Minister Totty Watch, Techno thought he would give readers his own offering.

Meet Fleur Pellerin, aka Miss Louboutin, the minxy Minister of Culture and Communication who was instrumental in pushing for a pro-startup agenda as Minister the Digital Economy. A staunch privacy advocate, Fleur has been rocking the French establishment with her modernising approach to politics. Voulez-vous coder avec moi…

Police Investigate Sexy Shower Scene MP

It’s been a busy first few weeks for new Plymouth MP Johnny Mercer. First he put his wife on the public payroll, then hit the headlines for lathering up topless in a shower gel advert, and now he is under investigation by the police. That escalated quickly.

The preened poser has lawyered up after bitter opponents called the cops in over his election expenditure. Mercer mysteriously told supporters he needed “some manpower, and a decent dose of Commando Spirit” on “the night-time of 6/7 May”.

The next day, polling day, his defeated Labour opponent Alison Seabeck claims she “suddenly woke up with every bridge and every lamppost covered in posters and fliers”, claiming this “does influence people significantly and it is improper”.

Mercer himself paid for the £1,642 clean up out of his own pocket and insists:

“I am confident I haven’t broken the law and this allegation is being dealt with by my lawyers.”

Well, he looked clean in the advert…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Phwoarr-za Italia Edition

italina totty

Today’s contribution to our occasional series of sexy environment ministers is the smoking hot Stefania Prestigiacomo. Stefania was the Italian Minister for Environment, Land and Sea until 2011 and used her time in office to agitate for a pan-global environmental organisation that would be able to respond to global crisis’. She’s also fond of hanging out in a bikini…

StefaniaPrestigiacomoincostumeaPanarea (1)

Bunga bunga!

50 Shades of Nanny Statism

Erotische Fantasien 033

The German “Youth Protection Authority” have ruled that websites can only offer sexually explicit ebooks for download between the hours of between 10pm and 6am. The decision was made following a complaint that children were getting their digital mitts on a popular ebook titled “Schlauchgelüste”…

How German bureaucrats, who don’t have the best reputation with the whole banning books thing, will decide what is ‘explicit’ has not been explained. It’s rumoured hausfrau’s are digitally stockpiling Mills & Boon in preparation for lonely afternoons…

Voice of Angel to Critics: “Hopefully Your Dick Will Fall Off”

church

Charlotte Church spent her Saturday marching with the People’s Assembly Against Austerity – whose aims include “increasing taxes on the super-rich” and “closing tax loopholes”.

As Guido revealed in the Sun on Sunday, this is the same Cardiff crooner who is the director of five companies all registered to the London address of Thomas Harris Accountants.

Alligator Wine Records Ltd, Charlotte Church Ltd, PACC Music Limited, Bounce Publishing Limited and Chick Flicks Ltd are all conveniently based at the firm’s offices in Merton Abbey Mills. Thomas Harris boast on their website:

“Lowering and deferring tax is, of course, a key aim… We can make your capital as tax-efficient as possible, taking advantage of allowances and reliefs of which many people are unaware, and ensuring you pay no more tax than you need… [including] tax-efficient gifting strategies”

What would her new comrades say about such sharp practices?

Seems Charlotte is finding her newfound critics rather taxing:

Voice of an angel, vocabulary of a drain…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Norwegian Lumberjack Edition

borten

The latest offering in our series of sexy energy ministers is former Norwegian Minister of Petroleum and Energy Ola Borten Mo. Posing here with his wife Anna, Ola shows off the steely disposition with which he pushes through his isolationist policies. Apparently the picture was captioned with “useful facts about forestry significance as regional industry”…

ola borten

Ola is known in Norwegian political circles as “Christian Grå”…

ola borten moe

Junior parliamentary staffers are warned not to look into his eyes…

Networked Boobs

connected bikini

Techno has long been sceptical of the much hyped wearable tech trend, but a new product from a French has convinced him of the error of his way – behold the bikini connecté.

The connected bikini comes complete with a waterproof UV sensor that tells your smartphone when you need to apply sun cream. Yours for only €149…

 

DSK Acquitted of Aggravated Pimping

dominique-strauss-kahn-settles-maid-case

The former IMF just escaped jail.

A job at Fifa next?

Blair’s Two Hour Liaison with Bingbing

BLAIR+BINGBING

Tony Blair scheduled a two hour afternoon slot into his diary to enjoy the company of alluring Chinese actress Li Bingbing during a 2012 business trip to China. According to documents seen by the Telegraph, Blair touched down in Beijing and raced straight to see Ms Bingbing before the grind of meeting CEO’s and politicians began.

Li Bingbing

Blair first met Bingbing – who is a friend of Wendi Deng – at a climate change campaign in 2009 and has been spotted regularly with the Chinese siren since. Bada Bingbing, bada boom…

Tory MEP Shares Fanny With Kanye West

fanny kanye west

Geoffrey Van Orden’s wife looked rather smitten with Kanye West in a photo shared by the Conservative MEP on Facebook recently.

Fanny Van Orden called Kanye her “new best friend” and described the global superstar as “a real gentleman” and “very charming”. 

Though Guido is guessing anyone called Fanny is probably not that well acquainted with Kanye’s more ‘charming’ anatomical lyrics…

Via Ned Donovan

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Grecian Edition

birbili

The latest addition to our run down of the world’s hottest environment ministers is Tina Birbili, who was made the first Greek Minister for the Environment, Energy and Climate Change back in 2009. Things have moved on in Greek politics and Tina now finds herself holed up in a luxury compound in Nairobi, earning $141,227 a year as the UN’s Executive Secretary to the Vienna Convention for the Protection of the Ozone Layer and its Montreal Protocol on Substances that Deplete the Ozone Layer. Kerching!

Antoinette Sandbach Sabotages Tug of War

boots1

Match report from Macmillan’s annual Parliamentary Tug of War last night:

“The stakes were high for the Commons men who, led by Mike Penning MP, were fighting to secure the winning title for a sixth successive year. The Lords men, who were led jointly by Lord Dobbs and Lord Collins of Highbury, put up a good fight but were no match for the MPs who pulled to victory, with the likes of Chris Law MP and Alec Shelbrooke MP at the end of the rope.”

Meanwhile the female MP’s team lost again, amid whispers that the team’s leggy front woman Antoinette Sandbach sabotaged her own side by turning up in a pair of calf-length street boots.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake
Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’ Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde
The Great Fairtrade Scandal The Great Fairtrade Scandal