Tory Hunk’s Taxpayer-Funded Social Media Juice

mercer fb

Soapy hunk Johnny Mercer should have no problem getting social media followers. Those shower commercials should mean he has all the ingredients required for likes, follows, and re-tweets galore. Surprising then that this Tory totty has charged the taxpayer £2,500 on expenses for “professional services” on social media management. His Twitter following stands at a relatively modest 13,579 – fewer than many 2015 intake colleagues – and his Facebook page has a mere 3,708 likes. His YouTube channel has a paltry 33 subscribers and his last video had just three views. If Johnny wants to boost his following, selfies are probably a better approach…

MILF Fan Tory Claims “I Was Hacked”

Hull Daily Mail

Yesterday’s story Top Tory Copper in MILF Porn Shocker, about the Twitter favouriting of MILF porn stars by Humberside deputy police and crime commissioner and Councillor Paul Robinson hit the front page of his local paper the Hull Daily Mail this morning. Awkward is the election day headline. Will it lose votes for Humberside Police and Crime Commissioner candidate Matthew Grove? Guido’s not so sure judging by the comments on the paper’s website…

“So he’s into adult women, whats the issue here?”

“Men appreciate looking at women, of all sizes, shapes and…..Well we shall leave it there! I wish he had not denied it, I think he might have received more votes for just being a human, not a political robot.”

“The guy likes MILFs, well so do I! Non story.”

This story could yet have a happy ending…

Totty Watch Poll

totty

Debate swirls in Westminster about Tory MP Col Bob Stewart’s use of the word “totty” to describe the Speccie’s Isabel Hardman…

Isabel Oakeshott says: “Strong women don’t need to whine about sexists calling us ‘totty’”

Isabel Hardman says: “that is NOT on and lobby women shouldn’t have to put up with it. So I have passed the MP’s name on to a whip.”

Cathy Newman says: “I’m with Isabel on this… Isabel Hardman.”

Julia Hartley-Brewer says: “Many years ago I was at a dinner at a Conservative Party conference with a couple of MPs. One of those MPs kept putting his hand on my knee. The third time I removed his hand and said it is very simple, either you don’t put my hand on my knee again or I am going to punch you in the face.”

Who are you backing? Take Guido’s poll…

Budget Flash Back

Theresa May

Last year’s Budget saw Theresa May’s eye-catching number cause more of a stir on Twitter than George Osborne. This year T-May has worn an identical outfit (except for her iconic shoes) – cue identical results:

We’ll keep you abreast of all the most important Budget news…

Irish Election Special: Fine Gal

FINEGAL

One candidate for the upcoming Irish general election stands out somewhat. Running as an independent in Dublin Fingal, law lecturer Roslyn Fuller previously released racy pics for a calendar, Wikilicious, in defence of Edward Snowden. Roslyn’s pitch to the voters:

“… condemn me as a harlot if you will, but the fact remains that if we are serious about wanting to fix the problems in our society, including those revealed by whistle-blowers like Edward Snowden or Chelsea Manning, we’re all going to have to put our money where our mouth is and get used to getting out of our comfort zones”

Freedom for whistleblowers, and the nipple…

Sexy Socialism: Seb Corbyn’s Tinder Profile in Full

Last week’s Sunday Times revealed that the taxpayer-funded 24 year-old chief of staff to the Shadow Chancellor is a Tinder lothario, a story which wound up all the right people. Guido can bring you sexy socialist Seb Corbyn’s full profile on the hook-up app. He has enlisted the help of Dame Judi Dench to impress the women of Westminster:

Labour aides have gossiped about fun-loving Seb’s extra-curricular activities for months. The Peroni-sipping adviser is rarely seen without a crowd of adoring female fans, and party staffers have been known to take clandestine late night photos of him and his admirers and share them on WhatsApp for a laugh. Lad.

Tory Boob: I Was Hacked!

Rushton

Yesterday Guido revealed how Tory councillor Nick Rushton had boobed by following an assortment of Twitter accounts dedicated to well-endowed ladies. Today naughty Nick has called in the police claiming he was hacked, telling his local paper:

“My Twitter account was hacked by someone with malicious intent. Whoever has done this changed my password, as I was unable to log onto it for a considerable period of time.”

Guido can help the police with their enquiries.

The screenshot of Rushton’s ‘Following’ page was taken over the weekend, after which Rushton’s account continued to tweet a series of selfies showing the man himself.

Either Nick’s long-lost identical twin changed his password or the hacking story doesn’t quite add up…

Tory Council Leader Boobs Big Time

Capture

Click to Enlarge

It’s all gone tits-up for Nicholas Rushton, the Tory leader of Leicestershire county council, after one of his eagle eyed Twitter followers noticed that he was following a few rather risqué accounts. It appears that Rushton doesn’t understand the public nature of his followings. He clearly has something of a sweet spot for bosomy women, and accordingly decided to follow accounts dedicated to the veneration of such. Readers should not get the impression that Rushton’s obsessed – he also follows the ILikeBootyDaily account. Tits ‘n ass!

UPDATE: Too little, too late:

blocked

WATCH Oh! You Pretty Things: Keith Vaz’s Russian Glamour Models

Yesterday Guido revealed that Keith Vaz spent Christmas in the Indian party state of Goa, where he was also the invited guest of honour at “Tito’s 2016 calendar launch”, a raunchy calendar featuring partially-clothed Russian glamour models in a variety of suggestive poses. This is the behind the scenes video that must have caught Keith’s eye:

Guido can’t blame him for being a little late getting back to Westminster…

Tory Sex Scandal: Who Shagged Whom?

The latest revelations in this morning’s Telegraph allege that a 22 year-old activist woke up in a Tory MP’s bed with no memory of the night before. One MP is threatening an injunction, and at least three others have been accused of inappropriately having sexual relations with young volunteers on Mark Clarke’s infamous RoadTrip campaigns. This is Guido’s handy flowchart of who has been bonking whom. It is by no means complete. If you woke up naked next to a Tory MP – or indeed are a Tory MP who woke up naked next to Mark Clarke – and can’t remember the night before, call Guido’s helpline on 0709 284 0531…

Bonfire of the Lads Mags: Zoo and FHM Shuttered

A sad day for connoisseurs of gentlemen’s magazines this morning as both FHM and Zoo announce within a few minutes of each other that they will be suspending publication. Nuts and Loaded are long gone and follows on from the announcement from Playboy that they are dropping pictures of naked women. FHM say:

“Unfortunately it’s true and it has been announced today the intention to suspend publication of FHM. It’s been an absolute joy producing the magazine over the years. Thank you for all your support, we will keep you updated with developments over the coming weeks.”

While Zoo confirm:

“It is with regret we have to inform you of the intention to suspend publication of ZOO. We’ve loved every minute of the near 12 years and 600-plus issues we’ve shared with you and would like to thank each and every one of you who’ve been there with us along the way.”

Heavy job losses are expected.

Their parent company Bauer say in a statement: “Over time young men’s media habits have continually moved towards mobile”. This infographic explains exactly what is happening:

PORN-MOBILE

The decline of lad’s mags correlates with the rise of big screen mobiles resulting in a more pleasurable online handheld experience…

Telegraph Frees the Nipple

The paper of Bill Deedes has crossed the Rubicon and freed the nipple. Scroll down on this click-chasing article about “72 hour drug-fuelled sex binges” and readers of Her Majesty’s Telegraph are confronted with a stock photo of a lady whose arm doesn’t quite cover her modesty:

A change in policy, or was it a big boob?

Tom Bradby Sex Appeal Figures Sexed Up

“Tom Bradby is so hot he got 500,000 new viewers,” claims a headline in the Times today. It follows on from yesterday’s puff piece reporting ITV News at Ten “has put on half a million viewers since Tom Bradby began presenting”. The generous write-up claimed:

“Average viewing figures for the ITV bulletin over the past three weeks have risen to two million — up by half a million on September averages.”

Has Bradby’s sex appeal really made such a remarkable difference?

Industry insiders tell Media Guido that, actually, the ITV News at Ten numbers are flat. In the three weeks since Bradby took over, reliable sources say ITV News at Ten has scored above two million on just three nights. The ratings have reached c1.9 million on zero nights, c.1.8 million on one night, c.1,7 million on six nights, c1.6 million on 2 nights and c1.5 million on 2 nights. The “half a million” headline figure is as sexed up as their new choice of host…

UPDATE: The BBC hit back as the 10pm flame war intensifies:

UPDATE II: Here are the ITV figures in full since Bradby took over. Last night’s numbers take the average just above 2 million:

Labour Peer’s Sex-Driven Politics

Baroness Young of Old Scone has been over-sharing in the Lords, revealing that it was being provided the contraceptive pill aged 16 by Harold Wilson’s government that led her to support the Labour Party. Poor old Lord Blencathra didn’t know where to look when she started talking about how she “had a good Scottish diet and was very precocious for my age”:

Baroness Young of Old Scone (Lab): I was born in Scotland and I was brought up in a Scottish Conservative household. When I was 16 I thought that the election result, when a Labour Government was returned after 13 years of what is now known as Tory misrule, was the end of the world. I had been taught to believe that. Two years later I was canvassing for Labour in the election.

What changed me was that at the age of 16 I could get pregnant. At that time I could not get birth control in this country at that age. During that period, when I was aged 16 or 17, the first Brook Advisory Centre opened in Edinburgh. I could then go on the pill. Quite frankly, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. The knowledge that I could not get proper support for being sexually active—I had had a good Scottish diet and was very precocious for my age—was what politicised me. I have no qualms about announcing that here tonight

Not the first person to get into politics for the sex…

Attractive Women Say We Need to Stop Climate Change

totty green

Supermodel Cameron Russell is taking time out from her job as professional clothes horse to lead an army of models demanding “climate justice” from world leaders. Cameron and her high cheek-boned cohorts have taken to Instagram, posting selfies and sharing their thoughts on carbon emission, such as this recent missive from Russell herself:

“Yesterday, Hurricane Patricia made landfall in Mexico. It was the strongest hurricane ever recorded.This massive storm was a powerful wake-up call. And this week #exxonknew has been trending after journalists uncovered that ExxonMobil, the world’s largest and most powerful oil company, knew everything there was to know about climate change by the mid-1980s, and then spent the next few decades systematically funding climate denial and lying about the state of the science.”

models totty

kiss totty

They almost have Gaia convinced…

Heidi Allen: Osborne “Out of Touch… Betraying Who We Are”

Well, new Tory MP Heidi Allen’s maiden speech will have gone down like a cup of cold sick in the Treasury. Her withering attack on tax credit reform accused Osborne, among other things, of being “out of touch” and “betraying who we are“. And asking “how many of us really know what it feels like?” is golden ammo for Labour. Clearly Heidi doesn’t fancy a promotion in the next ten years…

At least some people liked it:

Incidentally, Heidi was the MP who told LBC she couldn’t see Osborne as PM. Why doesn’t she just JOIN LABOUR?

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Juicy Jaime Edition

0120_LOC_Herrera_Beutler_t640

The latest in our ongoing series of environmental totty is juicy Jaime Herrera Beutler, the Representative for Washington’s 3rd congressional district. A former chair of the House’s Water Resources and Environment committee, Beutler is famous for her fight against US Environmental Protection Agency’s plans to reclassify every “ditch” as “navigable waters” so they could regulate them.

maxresdefault (1)

She looks like a glass half full kind of gal…

Stephen Tall’s Naked Streak Down Whitehall

Fair play to LibDem blogger Stephen Tall, who lost his bet on how many seats his party would get at the election and has honoured his promise to streak down Whitehall naked:

All for a good cause, readers can donate here.

Now, about that Dan Hodges

June Sarpong Yoof Stunt Backfires

In an effort to connect with the yoof, Britain Stronger in Europe wheeled out early-2000s T4 host June Sarpong to introduce their campaign. Turns out a lot of young people have no idea who she is…

That went well…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Shinzo Babe Edition

d1345332

The latest hottie to join our run down of sexy green politicians is former television anchorwoman Tamayo Marukawa, who was appointed Japan’s environment minister on Wesnesday by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. Marukawa’s first order of business will be to oversee the building of storage and disposal facilities to deal with Fukushima’s radioactive waste.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn:

“I’m not a defender or supporter of ISIS.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Tories Mistakenly Share Private Conference Call PIN with Opposition Tories Mistakenly Share Private Conference Call PIN with Opposition
Len and Seamus’s Champaign Celebration Len and Seamus’s Champaign Celebration
Campaign Report: 48 Days To Go Campaign Report: 48 Days To Go
Campaign Report: 49 Days to Go Campaign Report: 49 Days to Go
Listen: Dawn Butler Car Crash Interview Listen: Dawn Butler Car Crash Interview
Manifesto Lookahead: Six Tory Policies in Peril Manifesto Lookahead: Six Tory Policies in Peril
McVey for Upminster? McVey for Upminster?
Watch: Corbyn Crowd Boos and Shouts Down ITV Question Watch: Corbyn Crowd Boos and Shouts Down ITV Question
Coalition of the Others Still Behind Tories Coalition of the Others Still Behind Tories
NEC Swerves Corbyn Loyalty Pledge NEC Swerves Corbyn Loyalty Pledge
Watch: Barry Gardiner Loses It on Sky News Watch: Barry Gardiner Loses It on Sky News
CCHQ Caught on Hop: Not Enough Tory Candidates CCHQ Caught on Hop: Not Enough Tory Candidates
Campaign Report – 50 Days to Go Campaign Report – 50 Days to Go
PMQs Sketch PMQs Sketch
Osborne Quits as MP Osborne Quits as MP
Will Tories Drop MOAB on Corbyn? Will Tories Drop MOAB on Corbyn?
Corbyn Getting Beers in Early Corbyn Getting Beers in Early
Labour Staff Told: No Slogan, No Key Seats List, No Budget Labour Staff Told: No Slogan, No Key Seats List, No Budget
BREAKING: May Calls Snap Election BREAKING: May Calls Snap Election