An inevitably rowdy PMQs session today under the shadow of rail strikes and inflation. Sir Keir noticeably lacking any awkward references to Star Wars or Love Island – for the better – and Boris hammering away at the Labour frontbenchers showing up at the picket lines yesterday:

“[We’re] cutting the costs of transport for working people, mr speaker, by delivering reforms, while they’re out on the picket lines literally holding hands with Arthur Scargill. It’s worse than under Jeremy Corbyn. This is a government that is taking this country forward, they would take it back to the 1970s.”

Sets the stage for tomorrow’s by-elections…

1. Chris Elmore (Lab)
2. Julie Marson (Con)
3. Stephen Farry (Alliance)
4. Andrew Jones (Con)
5. John Lamont (Con)
6. Andy Carter (Con)
7. Alexander Stafford (Con)
8. Kate Osborne (Lab)
9. Colleen Fletcher (Lab)
10. Chris Green (Con)
11. Sir Bill Wiggin (Con)
12. Sir Desmond Swayne (Con)
13. Dr Ben Spencer (Con)

Guido was surprised to see Sir Ed Davey during PMQs today claim that rural communities are “bearing the brunt of record fuel prices”, and calling for the expansion of the rural fuel duty relief scheme. Has anyone bothered to tell him his own party’s policies?

Not only have the LibDems repeatedly voted against the government’s fuel duty freezes – and this year’s fuel duty cut – the party’s own flagship climate policy, released back in September, actually calls for “reinstating the indexation of road fuel duty”. That would mean a return to regular yearly increases in the tax – and as indexed against RPI, would mean an 11% hike in the tax.

The policy also calls for “graduating VED (Vehicle Excise Duty) by fuel efficiency and increasing rates for fossil fuel vehicles overall“, which amounts to another tax hike on rural drivers. Still, when you’ve got a rural by-election looming, it’s best not to let your own policies get in the way…

Gags about Star Wars and Love Island all in the space of about five minutes. At one point he said Boris Johnson had given the UK “the ick”, a cringeworthy attempt to use a Gen Z phrase co-conspirators will have to look up on Urban Dictionary. Sir Keir’s obviously taking the “boring” accusations to heart. Guido got sent this from a CCHQ source mid-PMQs:

Not sure the force was strong with Starmer this afternoon…

1. Mike Wood (Con)
2. Neale Hanvey (Alba)
3. Andrew Selous (Con)
4. Craig Tracey (Con)
5. Liz Twist (Lab)
6. Henry Smith (Con)
7. Anna McMorrin (Lab)
8. Caroline Ansell (Con)
9. Kerry McCarthy (Lab)
10. Tom Randall (Con)
11. Edward Timpson (Con)
12. David Jones (Con)
13. Philip Dunne (Con)
14. Sarah Champion (Lab)

Sir Keir’s PMQs performance today was less of an own goal, more like a player running up to take a penalty and then missing the ball. There weren’t very high expectations for the Labour leader going into the session this lunchtime, just a case of pouring salt in the wounds opened by Tory MPs on Monday, and yet he decided to do a very low energy set of questions on health funding. Looking down the timeline, it looks like LOTO may have to accept a misstep today…

• Times’ Henry Zeffman: “Not sure Labour MPs will think Starmer’s showing at PMQs quite met the level of the PM’s peril”
• Mail’s David Wilcock: “‘This line of attack is not working,’ Boris Johnson tells Keir Starmer at #PMQs – and he may have a point.”
• Daily Mail’s Henry Deedes: “This should be the #pmqs of the year. Starmer’s moment. And he’s already killed it. The chamber now devoid of atmosphere.”
• Telegraph’s Christopher Hope: “Keir Starmer is missing his open goal”
• CityAM’s Stefan Boscia: “Half way through and Keir is missing an open goal here”
• TalkTV’s Kate McCann: “Labour benches are silent, many not even looking at their leader as he speaks. Many dislike PMQs pantomime, but I’m not sure this Labour approach works”
• JOE Politics’ Oli Dugmore: “Is Keir just really bad at politics? Is this some kind of master stroke I don’t understand? Feels like Boris is wiping the floor with him today”
• New Statesman’s Ben Walker: “This isn’t 4D chess, this is just ineffective.”
• The i’s Paul Waugh: “His troops, rebels and loyalists alike, were always going to be behind @BorisJohnson today but he is enjoying himself at #PMQs. Clearly delighted at Starmer’s failure to land blows and dismissive of Blackford.”
• Adam Boulton: “Starmer’s inability to ad lib, reply to taunts or deviate from his pre-cooked plan not helping him.”
• Times Radio’s Matt Chorley: “I genuinely think this is one of the worst PMQs Starmer has had… Hopeless.”

It put Guido in mind of that 2018 performance from Jeremy Corbyn who was the subject of mirth when he failed to stick the dagger in May over Brexit, instead wasting six questions on buses. 

When Ian Blackford compared him to the Black Knight from Monty Python, Boris heckled Monday was “not even a flesh wound!”