Boris: Labour’s Economic Policy is Sh*t and Bust

Boris: Corbyn is a Chlorinated Chicken

Very fun stuff…

May Rejected People’s PMQs

This week, Boris launched his ‘People’s PMQs’ allowing him to answer the public’s questions directly, in one of many examples of Downing Street getting on top of its PR and Coms operation since the new administration started. The People’s PMQs always looked like an obvious PR win, proved by the Facebook livestream receiving 230,000 views and overwhelmingly positive feedback. 

Guido hears from Downing Street aides that the ‘People’s PMQs’ idea was pitched to Theresa May months ago only for her to reject the proposal. Guido is hardly surprised to discover the Maybot missed what could have been an open PR goal…

PMQs Sketch: May’s Farewell

There was an air of pageantry for Mrs May’s final PMQs. From both sides of the chamber came effusive praise for her premiership, not the least gushing forth from the Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition. When the time came for her to leave, there was a standing ovation from all corners. Pageboys laid a carpet of petals for her to walk on. Her Majesty lent the choir of St George’s Chapel to provide a choral serenade as Mrs May exited.

Later on, she made her way to the Palace to nominate her successor, despite Her Majesty’s pleading for her to say on for at least a decade longer. But it was not to be. As a concession, Her Majesty allowed Mrs. May to return to Downing Street for the last time in the Imperial Sate Coach. A helicopter of the Queen’s Flight took the now ex-PM from the Rose Garden to the lavish estate bestowed on her by a grateful nation.

Well, almost. Well, actually not at all.

Continue reading

Every Party Has Had a Female Leader… Except One

This one really winds Labour up…

May Tells Corbyn To Follow Her Lead and Resign

In her final exchange with Jeremy Corbyn across the dispatch boxes, May left a parting blow on the Leader of the Opposition.

“Perhaps I could just finish my exchange with him by saying this – as a party leader who has accepted when her time is up, perhaps the time is now for him to do the same.”

Savage.

UPDATE: Ian Austin agrees…

Corbyn Pays Tribute to Theresa May

Corbyn took a rare break from his reading out his tediously pre-scripted questions to pay tribute to Theresa May’s “sense of public duty” at the start of his final PMQs exchange with her – not sure his diehard Corbynista fans will be too pleased with that. Remarkably he will now be onto his third Tory Prime Minister, not that he’s had much to do with that himself…

May’s Final PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Ruth Cadbury (Brentford and Isleworth) (Lab)
Q2 Chi Onwurah (Newcastle upon Tyne Central) (Lab)
Q3 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West) (Lab)
Q4 Yasmin Qureshi (Bolton South East) (Lab)
Q5 Bob Blackman (Harrow East) (Con)
Q6 Mhairi Black (Paisley and Renfrewshire South) (SNP)
Q7 Glyn Davies (Montgomeryshire) (Con)
Q8 John McNally (Falkirk) (SNP)
Q9 Mrs Pauline Latham (Mid Derbyshire) (Con)
Q10 Tom Brake (Carshalton and Wallington) (LD)
Q11 Vernon Coaker (Gedling) (Lab)
Q12 Mr Paul Sweeney (Glasgow North East) (Lab)
Q13 Mr Clive Betts (Sheffield South East) (Lab)
Q14 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) (Con)
Q15 Ian Austin (Dudley North) (Ind)

The end of an era. A tedious, tedious era…

Number 10 Reckons May’s “Good Brexit Deal” Is Her Number One Achievement

In Number 10’s begging letter to MPs for friendly questions at tomorrow’s PMQs, extraordinarily they list Theresa May’s “good Brexit deal” as her number one achievement. Yikes.

Penultimate Moonshot Session

It’s not really the ‘Questions to the Prime Minister’ that are all that important, so much as the ‘Answers from the Prime Minister’. MPs on either benches can come up with any old rubbish. Only the PM’s fumbles, slips, or surprise admissions will make the bulletins. Or would have. This is Theresa May’s penultimate Wednesday session. The government she formed has a little over a week of life, and has stopped making news. It might be liberating for her instead. She could say anything she wants to her interrogators. An-y-thing. We are at the fin du regime. Power and patronage are slipping away from No. 10, even while there has been one trillion pounds of spending promises and a The Thick of It -style government department announced. But still Mrs May has her tabbed folder from which to refer.

It’s so unfair. She has to mug up all morning on current issues across Whitehall,, as well as memorise the hopefully witty and savage put-down for the final answer to the Leader of the Opposition. All Corbyn has to do is to be able to read out aloud what has been written for him. A grammar-school-educated 13-year-old could do that. Corbyn is not too interested in the actual responses. His over-long polemical questions will be chopped and shaped like a Bird’s Eye chicken burgers and fed to his supporters using the microchips of their internet devices. This multitude already believe JC walks on water. They do not witness Corbyn’s regular crucifixions at the Despatch Box.

There were mentions of England’s Cricket World Cup victory, plus also Lewis Hamilton’s record-breaking sixth successive victory at Silverstone. The reader might be forgiven for thinking that cricketing analogies might be exclusively appropriate for this session. After all, the PM is at the crease while the questions are bowled at her. Opposition MPs use ‘sledging’ tactic to disrupt her concentration.

Not so. John Gummer, or Lord Beefburger as older readers will know him, has described, in his capacity as one of the overnumerous High Priests of Global Warming, the government’s response to climate change as run ‘like a Dad’s Army’. And it was this quote that Jeremy Corbyn used as the basis for his questions. He could gone in like Hodges the Warden, or Yeatman the Verger. But no. He was Private Frazer. ???We’re doomed???, he was saying to the chamber, but not in a Scottish accent. It would be bad form to steal the SNP’s thunder in this way.

Mrs May refused to assume the role of Capt. Mainwaring. She also refused to make her answers just about the environment. In addition to batting off the question, she hit back with questions of her own. It wasn’t cricket after all. It had become tennis. Continue reading

Tory MP Asks May to Congratulate Himself

An unfortunate slip of the tongue. May duly obliges…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Lilian Greenwood (Nottingham South) (Lab)
Q2 Steve McCabe (Birmingham, Selly Oak) (Lab)
Q3 Sir Peter Bottomley (Worthing West) (Con)
Q4 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West) (Lab)
Q5 Paula Sherriff (Dewsbury) (Lab)
Q6 Sir Oliver Heald (North East Hertfordshire) (Con)
Q7 Mr Virendra Sharma (Ealing, Southall) (Lab)
Q8 John Spellar (Warley) (Lab)
Q9 Chris Stephens (Glasgow South West) (SNP)
Q10 Daniel Kawczynski (Shrewsbury and Atcham) (Con)
Q11 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North) (SNP)
Q12 Kirsty Blackman (Aberdeen North) (SNP)
Q13 Neil Gray (Airdrie and Shotts) (SNP)
Q14 John McNally (Falkirk) (SNP)

May’s second-last PMQs ever…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Alex Sobel (Leeds North West) (Lab)
Q2 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North) (Lab)
Q3 Sandy Martin (Ipswich) (Lab)
Q4 Karin Smyth (Bristol South) (Lab)
Q5 Justin Madders (Ellesmere Port and Neston) (Lab)
Q6 Jack Brereton (Stoke-on-Trent South) (Con)
Q7 Deidre Brock (Edinburgh North and Leith) (SNP)
Q8 Kirstene Hair (Angus) (Con)
Q9 Chris Green (Bolton West) (Con)
Q10 Gareth Snell (Stoke-on-Trent Central) (Lab)
Q11 Mary Glindon (North Tyneside) (Lab)
Q12 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North) (SNP)
Q13 Paula Sherriff (Dewsbury) (Lab)
Q14 Hugh Gaffney (Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill) (Lab)

Only three to go, will May use the opportunity to say what she really thinks about Trump?

Labour MP’s Bare-Faced TV Licence Hypocrisy

Scottish Labour MP Hugh Gaffney went on a rant at PMQs over the Government not doing enough for free BBC TV licences. As May pointed out, it’s for the BBC to answer why they can afford to increase their “talent bill” yet again while taking away pensioners’ free licences…

Not that Gaffney needs to be too worried himself, it turns out he’s quite happy for other people to pay for his own TV licence – despite his MP’s salary of £79,468 a year, he’s claimed his £150.50 TV licence off the hardworking taxpayer instead. Classic!

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Neil Coyle (Bermondsey and Old Southwark) (Lab)
Q2 Sir Hugo Swire (East Devon) (Con)
Q3 Paul Blomfield (Sheffield Central) (Lab)
Q4 Vernon Coaker (Gedling) (Lab)
Q5 Matt Western (Warwick and Leamington) (Lab)
Q6 Chris Bryant (Rhondda) (Lab)
Q7 Mr Kevan Jones (North Durham) (Lab)
Q8 Hugh Gaffney (Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill) (Lab)
Q9 Alan Brown (Kilmarnock and Loudoun) (SNP)
Q10 Mr Gregory Campbell (East Londonderry) (DUP)
Q11 Andrew Lewer (Northampton South) (Con)
Q12 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis) (Con)
Q13 Sir Oliver Heald (North East Hertfordshire) (Con)
Q14 Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde) (Lab)
Q15 Grahame Morris (Easington) (Lab)

Just four more to endure…

May Shuts Down Boorish Blackford

The SNP’s shouty Ian Blackford managed to be even more tedious than usual at PMQs today, boring on for so long about the Tory leadership contenders that even Bercow got bored and told him to hurry up. But naturally didn’t bother to ask him to retract his accusations of lying despite it breaching Parliamentary protocol…

May came back with the sort of sparky put-down that’s been all too rare over the last three years. Impressive noise from the less than one third of Tory MPs who bothered to turn up…

Bercow Blasted for Blanking Blackford Boris Behaviour

Tory MPs were seething with rage after Bercow intervened to tell the SNP’s Ian Blackford to withdraw his description of Boris Johnson as “racist”, only for Blackford to double down on his remarks while Bercow turned a blind eye. Bill Wiggin furiuosly took the Speaker to task over his inconsistency, Bercow responds in characteristic fashion that he’s not a “delicate flower” and doesn’t feel “any concern”. Another big fat middle finger to Parliament…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Mr Marcus Jones (Nuneaton) (Con)
Q2 Tonia Antoniazzi (Gower) (Lab)
Q3 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North) (Lab)
Q4 Mr Virendra Sharma (Ealing, Southall) (Lab)
Q5 Tim Loughton (East Worthing and Shoreham) (Con)
Q6 Deidre Brock (Edinburgh North and Leith) (SNP)
Q7 Nigel Mills (Amber Valley) (Con)
Q8 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North) (Lab)
Q9 Dr Paul Williams (Stockton South) (Lab)
Q10 Mike Hill (Hartlepool) (Lab)
Q11 Vicky Foxcroft (Lewisham, Deptford) (Lab)
Q12 Mary Creagh (Wakefield) (Lab)
Q13 Sarah Jones (Croydon Central) (Lab)
Q14 Paul Scully (Sutton and Cheam) (Con)

Will anyone take May to task over her wanton spending splurge on the way to the exit door?

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) (Con)
Q2 Wes Streeting (Ilford North) (Lab)
Q3 Tim Farron (Westmorland and Lonsdale) (LD)
Q4 Wayne David (Caerphilly) (Lab)
Q5 Anna McMorrin (Cardiff North) (Lab)
Q6 Mr Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield) (Lab)
Q7 Karl Turner (Kingston upon Hull East) (Lab)
Q8 Sir David Crausby (Bolton North East) (Lab)
Q9 Rachel Maclean (Redditch) (Con)
Q10 Catherine West (Hornsey and Wood Green) (Lab)
Q11 Mr Peter Bone (Wellingborough) (Con)
Q12 Carol Monaghan (Glasgow North West) (SNP)
Q13 Chris Bryant (Rhondda) (Lab)
Q14 Ian Austin (Dudley North) (Ind)
Q15 Huw Merriman (Bexhill and Battle) (Con)

The least interesting political event of the week…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions?

While the PM and Leader of the Opposition are busying themselves with D-Day commemorations, PMQs becomes DPMQs with de-facto Deputy Prime Minister Liddington facing Labour’s Rebecca Long Bailey who replaces usual stand in Emily Thornberry. Word on the street is that the Shadow Foreign Sec is being made to sit it out after failing to toe the line on Brexit…

Q1 Tim Loughton (East Worthing and Shoreham) (Con)
Q2 Mr Marcus Fysh (Yeovil) (Con)
Q3 Laura Pidcock (North West Durham) (Lab)
Q4 Mr Mark Harper (Forest of Dean) (Con)
Q5 David T.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

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Quote of the Day

In response to the news that Emily Thornberry described the Lib Dems as “like the Taliban” over their new revoke Article 50 Brexit policy, the former Lib Dem leader responded:

“Come on Emily, if we really were like a Middle East terrorist group, don’t you think Jeremy would’ve invited us to a conference fringe meeting before now?”

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