Antoinette Sandbach Sabotages Tug of War

boots1

Match report from Macmillan’s annual Parliamentary Tug of War last night:

“The stakes were high for the Commons men who, led by Mike Penning MP, were fighting to secure the winning title for a sixth successive year. The Lords men, who were led jointly by Lord Dobbs and Lord Collins of Highbury, put up a good fight but were no match for the MPs who pulled to victory, with the likes of Chris Law MP and Alec Shelbrooke MP at the end of the rope.”

Meanwhile the female MP’s team lost again, amid whispers that the team’s leggy front woman Antoinette Sandbach sabotaged her own side by turning up in a pair of calf-length street boots. One onlooker was heard muttering:”it’s like turning up in high heels” as the ladies trudged away with their runners up medal…

Sam Cam Bacon Roll Sham?

Did Samantha Cameron actually touch that bacon roll this morning? We can’t find any pictures of her consuming a mouthful of bacon roll, though we’re told “she did pick at it”.  After the Miliband bacon roll debacle it looks like Sam thought it was a photogenic risk too far…

In other news usually reliable source say she was wearing Sam Cam is wearing a dress from Hobbs and High Street high heels from Zara. Just so you know…

UPDATE: Ruth Davidson, the leader of the Scottish Conservative Party, gets in touch:

I can confirm (as I was sitting two places from her) Sam had lorne (square) sausage and fried egg in her roll. She ate it all, bar the lid (it was a pretty big roll and a lady never likes to carb up on too much bread of a morning). There may have been cutlery involved to avoid any Miliband-esque embarrassment…

Ruth, shouldn’t you be prepping for the Scottish Leaders’ Debate? Or is reading Guido prepping?

Fifty Shades of Osborne: Chancellor Grey

Osborne has confounded the bookies yet again, this time with a grey tie. Bang on trend for anyone looking to inflict pain…

Vivienne Westwood’s New Shoes Made From Fossil Fuels

pvc

Multi-millionairess anti-capitalist Vivienne Westwood has been a prominent voice in the anti-fracking movement, claiming that the human race faces mass extinction unless drilling is stopped. These are her latest must have item, a pair of sharp-looking £185 loafers made from PVC. PVC is a thermoplastic made up of 57% chlorine and 43% carbon, derived from either oil or, more frequently, natural gas such as that derived from fracking. Appropriately, they don’t come in green..

UPDATE: A fashionable co-conspirator points out that Vivienne Westwood’s PVC mens’ moccasins  have an ornament on them described as “created in rhodium and detailed with coloured enamel.” So that would be rhodium, one of the rarest metals in the world, likely mined and imported from South Africa where some mines have faced human rights concerns. And enamel likely derived from acrylic acid which in turn is a by-product of the production of ethlyene for petroleum… 

These Election Pundits Are All The Same

The awkward moment when you turn up for an interview on the telly wearing the same outfit as your fellow guest…

This is What a Publicity Stunt Looks Like

Point of Order, Mr Speaker! The Honourable Member for Camberwell and Peckham is surely breaching the Commons dress code at PMQs today. There is a precedent: Caroline Lucas was told to cover up when she wore a No More Page 3 t-shirt during a debate last year.

Incidentally, Hattie’s not-so trendsetting top is available from Whistles for an equality busting £45.

Those who wonder just how badly Labour are struggling as an opposition need to look no further than their Deputy Leader. Holding the government to account, one t-shirt at a time…

UPDATE: The profit from selling Hattie’s t-shirt goes to the Fawcett Society, a lefty ‘charity’ front for bashing the government. They even bid for a judicial review of the 2010 emergency budget and spend most of their time whinging about ‘the cuts‘. Cute of Labour to help them out…

Leaders’ Wives: Cos-t of Living Lib Dem Edition

Miriam complimented a business-like white shirt by showing her true LibDem colours with a yellow below-the-knee wool mohair skirt with folded front pleat, designed to sit on the waist, available from Cos for £89. Stylishly accompanied by a taste of home: gold heels from Spanish brand Uterqüe.

Nick wore a navy Hackett suit, with a white shirt and red tie from M&S…

Leaders' Wives: Guidoian Edition

The bedwetters always complain about Guido’s fashion focused Leaders’ Wives conference coverage, yet the posts are always very popular and widely shared. More often or not they are followed up by the popular press. Today, Guido was particularly amused to see the not so popular Guardian’s Conference Diary by Sir Michael White, with a little help from Imogen Fox the deputy fashion editor, joining in on this important angle:

“Wilfully simple and unambiguously blue. The sartorial advisers for the leader’s speech had clearly opened the Farrow & Ball blue paint chart and locked the parameters at parma gray and drawing-room blue. How happy must they have been that the steel pillars at Birmingham’s the ICC fitted into the scheme. All the better to choreograph the image of David walking in his anonymous dark navy suit and matching tie (pitch blue, possibly?) holding hands with Samantha in her parma gray Hobbs sleeveless dress.”

Enough of the moaning. The readers want it…

Sam Cam's £99 Austerity Busting Conference Dress

Sod the tax cuts, as ever Guido brings you the important leader’s speech news. Sam Cam was wearing a new frock from Hobbs.

‘The Penrose Wrap’ retails at a austerity-approved £149, though if she bought it online she could have picked it up for just £99!

The dress is both serene and versatile, with the crossover detailing at the waist creating a slender silhouette, complimented nicely by the sleeveless and knee-length structure.

Sam accompanied it with an old pair of LK Bennett shoes. 

Guido's Fashion Tips: What the Milibands Were Wearing

justine

Justine is wearing a fuchsia pink outfit with a black belt squeezing her middle. According to last night’s Standard claret is the colour for autumn – a shade of proletarian Pinot? “No f**king idea” who the dress is by, a Labour spokesman tells Guido.

UPDATE: Mrs Miliband was wearing Zara and Ed a Spencer Hart suit.

Downing Street Catwalk: Here Come the Boys

The usual suspects are upset at the Mail’s angle on the reshuffle. Gaby Hinsliff mused last night:

And don’t they all look lovely. There is an obvious reason why Gaby’s dream of a male lineup would not have made a very interesting feature:

All the moving men wore the identical outfits…

Curvy Alan Rusbridger Gets the Full Mail Online Treatment

Camped outside celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse,  Dave and SamCam’s fav in Marylebone for date night, the snappers spotted Nigella Lawson with an scruffy looking  lunch partner. But who could this “Harry Potter look-a-like” be?

“Alan, her lunchtime companion, wore a crumpled navy suit and a blue shirt which hung to his curves. His hair looked in need of a good brushing and he wore his recognisable round glasses – making him look like the fictional wizard.”

5 points to Slytherin.

Leaders’ Wives: Polling Day Fashion Edition

All the party leaders have now voted, with Dave and Ed convincing their wives to join them for the usual polling day shot. Nick Clegg appears to have brought a confused looking older friend along with him – believed to be his last remaining local supporter.

On the fashion front Justine played it safe, if a little mumsie, with a simple white tee, a causal navy blazer and some snazzy check print trousers. The epaulettes on the military jacket hardly scream femininity though. Meanwhile, SamCam is bang on trend in cropped navy trousers, complimented with blue court shoes and her favourite metallic dusky-rose silk top. Guessing Mrs Farage has returned to Germany to vote…

Mrs Osborne on George's Diet

Both Osborne and Balls are on the celebrity 5:2 diet, though Guido hears not everyone was entirely happy with the chunky Chancellor’s austerity effort to cut his waist size. After a female aide changed Osborne’s hair and now his slimming regime, his wife Frances was overheard exclaiming: “If anyone is going to put my husband on a diet, it’s me.”

Cutting Remarks From the Chancellor

Coif connoisseurs rejoice: the Standard has the scoop. Osborne has given them an exclusive interview revealing all about his ‘Footballers that look like lesbians’ haircut:

“The Chancellor comes across as someone who has survived a miserable low (who could forget his dismay at being booed at the 2012 Olympics?) and emerged psychologically stronger or, perhaps, less afraid to fail. Perhaps that explains his Caesar haircut. “There are more important things, dare I say it, for the country to be talking about,” he cried, looking pained.

But whose idea was it and where was it done? Osborne struggles: “It was just a … I means it’s … it’s been made out to be some great big change, a bigger change than it was.” Does his wife Frances like it? “Oh, she likes it,” he said, the shutters slamming down.”

Who doesn’t…

Beard Watch: Jeremy Browne

Who’d have thought Jezza would become a weirdy beardy…

Guido’s Fashion Tips: Alec Shelbrooke’s Tiger Onesie

Guido has returned from lunch to the sight of Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke on the Daily Politics, in a tiger onesie:

He pledges to wear it in the Commons if he can raise £5,000 for a hospice charity. A grrrrrreat cause, donate here

Dave’s Designer Hairdresser Denies Bald Patch

Client confidentiality is assured with Lino Carbosiero MBE, the PM’s designer hairdresser.

Appearing on Sky News to deny his gong was anything to do with the fact he re-branded Dave’s sidey, the smooth talker claimed there was no bald patch.

Which would  the cameras…

And in his never ending quest for impartiality, Guido put it to Labour:

“Ed doesn’t have one person that cuts his hair. He sometimes goes to the local barbers.”

A man of the people. The mystery remains about Osborne’s radical redesign…

Westminster's Longest Serving Press Officer Departs

He’s had the hardest jobs in politics for a decade but now UKIP head of press Gawain Towler is heading back to Brussels. He will also stand for election in 2014. Putting out fires since most other spinners were still at school, Towler dealt with fruitcakes, loonies and Nigel Farage on a daily basis for years. Westminster will be darker without his signature red trousers, and farewell to the cravat/bowler hat/tweed look. Towler was of course the face of UKIP’s “For Him” clothing range that included the dressing gown above.

Guido hopes internal politics are not at play here.

Farage and co are vulnerable without him.

Great Jumper Wearing Politicians of Our Time

Jumper-gate was the worst knitwear-related blunder since President Carter’s beige address to the nation in 1977. Well we have some renowned jumper wearing politicians of our own. Who can forget Gyles Brandreth and Peter Mandelson camping it up:

Of course Michael Foot was the founding father of jumper-based fashion in the Labour Party:

Taking over the mantle in many ways, Red Ed is himself partial to a socialist chic grey sweater, perfect for those windy days standing on soapboxes:

Social and Liberal Democratic grandees Lords Owen and Steel were trendsetters for future generations back in the day:

Nowadays the yellows have Mike Hancock, while Chris Huhne brought a new meaning to the phrase pullover, sir:

Anthony Eden had the blue corner covered.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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