Quote of the Day

 

The FT profile a known party animal:

“One former ally recalls being served glasses with minuscule quantities of wine from a half-empty bottle at the Miliband home: “It was like receiving communion,” he says. On the few occasions Mr Miliband attends a social event, he is usually armed with briefing notes on the guests…”

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

Guido is nursing a sore head from yesterday’s Christmas lunch, which overran somewhat.

After Martin Rowson shamelessly cancelled on his promise to sketch the team due to corporate influence, eminent artist Iain Martin graciously stepped in:

https://icmvv6qxwpktq0do-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/5cc/7515463/files/2014/12/img_18131.jpg

We’ll be back shortly…

Going for Lunch: Meme Miliband Challenge

meme-machine

Ed Miliband’s 7-minute immigration speech reminded Guido of something…

one-does-not-simply-walk-into-mordor

So here goes…

ONE-DOES-NOT-MEME

Co-conspirators can use the top picture to create their own versions and upload into the new comments system below.

We will try sort out a goodie bag for the best entry.

We’re off to our Christmas lunch, blogging may be sporadic… see you in 2015.

Bumper Boozy End of Term Blowout for MPs Tonight

It’s going to be a late sitting tonight on tedious end of term legislation – which means a bumper night for parliament’s bars:

From: Government Whips Admin Unit (HOC)
Sent: 15 December 2014 13:19
Subject: Todays Business

Given 2 UQs and the 90 minute statutory instrument as the first business, there is now a very good chance of sitting beyond midnight tonight, although unlikely later than 1am.

And given the late hour of the sitting MPs will get a free taxi home on the taxpayer after a night of solid subsidised drinking… Happy Christmas!

Baldwin Spins Cancer Story Despite Sick Bone Marrow Outrage

baldwin-cancer

“Labour will tackle scandal of cancer patients denied life-saving treatment” screams the press machine this morning. “Labour will create a new annual Cancer Treatments Fund to improve access not just to the latest drugs but also to the latest forms of radiotherapy and surgery that are too often not available for thousands of people with cancer.” Worthy stuff.

Guido thought today would be a good time check up on how the internal Labour party investigation is going into out-of-control psycho-spinner Tom Baldwin. As Guido revealed a few weeks ago, Baldwin told a journalist that even if “he was dying he wouldn’t want his bone marrow.”

After near universal condemnation for the sick outburst, something was promised to be done.

Guido wonders what that well known leukaemia campaigner and Baldwin’s mentor Alastair Campbell has to say about it all?

Ed Insists on Privacy for Pre-Xmas Turkey Eating Rehearsal

It’s the talk of Hognaston, Derbyshire. You’ll never guess who was in the Red Lion on Friday… Only that Ed Miliband!

Most of the regulars would have missed the Labour leader rehearsing how to eat a turkey lunch in the run up to Christmas, due to the fact that his party insisted on privacy. “It was only a couple of waitresses who knew he was here, which is what they wanted,” says Tony Waterall, the owner of the pub. “He didn’t want people looking at him or for there to be any confrontation.”

Given Ed’s previous well publicised masticatory gaffes, you can understand why he now insists on dining closed doors. But panic not, as ever, Guido provides an artistic recreation of the moment the turkey tucked into the turkey.

ITN Girl’s Sambuca’d Pirouettes in Central Lobby

sambuca-d-Sarah-Vaughan-Bro

Guessing Sarah Vaughan-Brown, ITN’s Communications Director, won’t be feeling so very right this morning…

UPDATE: The morning after the night before…

Blogging May Be Light This Morning…

… As Guido is nursing his hangover from last night’s readers’ party. His memory is slightly hazy, but there are a few things he can remember, remember from this fifth of November’s gunpowder treason and plot…

As the sun set in Westminster, one mysterious figure was spotted heading towards parliament wheeling behind him a suspicious looking barrel:

… As co-conspirators studied plans of parliament in the cellar of the Red Lion:

There was a heavy police presence:

While Boris was the star turn at Guido’s awards party two weeks back, last night Jo Johnson followed his brother:

Either Guido had a bizarre dream, or outside Vivienne Westwood was turned away by the cops. No hippies allowed.

It was the kind of party where the high priests of privatisation from the Adam Smith Institute were arguing amiably over a drink with the Cooperative Party’s policy gurus. Guido’s favourite moment was Miliband’s policy guru Lord (Stewart) Wood and Labour’s head of spin Bob Roberts walking into the crowd of co-conspirators and bolting when asked for selfies. See you next year…

Remember, Remember…

Join us tonight to celebrate 10 years of Guido, downstairs at the Red Lion from 6pm. A load of drunks in a cellar on November 5, what could possibly go wrong…

Guido Co-Conspirators Drinks Invitation Going Out Tonight

gf10-readers-drinks-tease

We’re having a drinks party for co-conspirators, this Wednesday, which not uncoincidentally is November Fifth. Guidogram subscribers will get the invitation tonight, and numbers are limited. Guido is putting £1,000 behind the bar…

You can subscribe to the Guidogram here. Alcohol in a cellar in Westminster on November Fifth? What could go wrong…

Shepherd’s Buy: Tory Lobbyist Swoops for Westminster Lunch Spot

There were lamentations across Westminster when the once great lunch spot Shepherd’s shut down last year after going down the pan. Well, it’s back! With caveats. Public Affairs News reports Tory spin merchant Lionel Zetter has bought the lease and the name, saying “I want to resurrect Shepherds and take it back to its best: superb food, great service, an elegant ambience and a discreet environment”. It used to be lobbyists just picking up the tab, now they’ve picked up the whole damn building…

Snouts In The Trough

  • Tian of crab, king prawns with keta caviar and crème fraiche.
  • Elderflower sorbet drizzled with Champagne.
  • Herb crusted rack of Elwy lamb, butterbean purée with ratatouille.
  • Warm chocolate fondant with vanilla ice cream.
  • Coffee and Truffles.
  • DRINKS.

WINES:

  • Simonet-Febvre, Chablis 2011
  • l’Espirit de Bellevue, St Emillion 2011

Twitter Hashtag #GF10

POLL: Who’s Right, Peter Oborne or Craig Oliver?

Peter Oborne went on Newsnight on Wednesday to express a rarely vocalised view in Westminster, namely that Craig Oliver is a “particularly grubby individual”:

No.10’s Super Spinner has responded in a letter published by Ephraim Hardcastle this morning, accusing Oborne of being drunk:

Dear Peter

I just wanted to check you are OK. Some BBC people have been on to me worried you were a bit tired and emotional last night.

Let me know if I can help.

Best wishes,

Craig Oliver.

To which Peter replies:

“I am absolutely astonished that an official working for the Prime Minister would use such terminology. It is offensive and inaccurate. I hope that when he has taken time to consider it he’ll withdraw these remarks which are unworthy of a Downing Street Director of Communications.”

Who was right?

Let the people decide…

Oi, Ed, Shut Up You SlaaaaagVOTE: Who is More In Touch: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

Who is more in touch with public opinion: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

In scenes reminiscent of Malcolm Tucker’s Zeitgeist tapes in the Thick of It, Ed Miliband revealed to Danny Dyer at the Attitude awards this week that he “researches” Eastenders online to keep up to date, even though he doesn’t watch the show. A source tells the Sun:

“[Ed] immediately made a big point of saying he knew a lot about the show. Then he started saying how the character of Martin Fowler has had three different actors playing him and how Ben Mitchell’s character has had five. Danny was a bit confused so asked him if watches the show. Ed shook his head and said, ‘No, I don’t have time any more but I’ve been doing a lot of research about it online’.”

Soap hard man Danny later reflected: “It was all a bit too heavy for me. I had to sit the f*** down.” Perhaps he could use the experience on the next series of “Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men”. But who is more in touch with reality?

Voting open until Close of Play…

Lovers Re-Unite-ed: Red Len’s Late Night Re-Union

The last time Guido asked Len McCluskey about his relationship with Jennie Formby, Unite political director and the mother of his lovechild, he got very tetchy. Guido is sure, therefore, that there is nothing at all untoward about eyewitness reports of Jennie and Red Len gazing into each other’s eyes over multiple drinks in the Feather’s pub, SW1 late last night. It was cold and damp, but that did not stop the re-Unite-d lovers huddling outside in the cold, as Len the Lothario poured the mid-range Chardonnay, away from the prying eyes of other punters. He then bundled Jennie into a car so quickly, that our dozy half-cut super sleuth cocked up getting a snap of the pair.

Only a cynic would note that McCluskey fathered a child with Formby while he was still married to his first wife Ann, before moving into a union-funded London home with a second lover Paula Lace, with Jennie going on to marry another man. Lots of important Unite policy to discuss last night…

UPDATE: Another source says Len’s ex-lover Jenny was indeed at the pub and so was Len’s current girlfriend Karie Murphy. Our original source was clearly seeing double…

Huge Tory Swing in Bath

Carpet-bagging wannabe MP and renowned bon viveur Ben Howlett has been getting to know his constituency, sampling the delights of Bath’s night-life. These photos were taken at the Po Na Na club, which Guido can confirm from personal experience is a dive. A fellow reveller reports:

“He was wasted and bumping into people, he even said ‘don’t you know who I am’. This was only at 11pm. Lightweight.”

One way of swaying the voters…

RED ON RED: Dirty Tricks Against ‘Alcoholic’ Labour PPCFake Leaflet of Candidate Snorting Sambuca With Hospital Tube

The Labour Party candidate selection process in Ashton Under-Lyme very nearly descended into all out war last month, with accusations flying of dirty tricks to get trade union pilgrim Angela Rayner selected. Unison heavies, with the help of senior Labour MPs like Andrew ‘shouty’ Gwynne, won in the end, but that is not to say that the local tension has gone away. In fact it’s getting very messy:

A leaflet pretending to be from Rayner has been posted through doors in the constituency. It shows the self-styled ‘care worker’ snorting sambuca through her nose using a hospital feeding tube, whilst she denies having a drink problem. Guido understands however that the photos are genuine. Sources on the ground say an element of the local party is out to get Rayner at all costs and it looks to Guido like this could get very dirty.

Mark Reckless Defects to UKIP

A dream for headline writers everywhere. On the eve of Tory conference Mark Reckless has defected to UKIP.

He was denying it less than 24 hours ago, but the clues were there in the Iraq vote:

And so to Birmingham.

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Gareth Can't Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

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