Gordon’s Back in Parliament, For Drinks

He may shun most of his backbench duties in favour of flying around the world for speeches and funnelling the fees through his shell company, the “Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown”, but the former Prime Mentalist has actually managed to turn up in Westminster today. Coincidently there is a state occasion rather than any pressing issue for the people of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…

Despite shirking his responsibility as an MP, Gordon is still happy to use taxpayer-funded rooms on the Parliamentary estate. He’s got at least two booked today. Guido hears Gordon is having a small gathering after the Queen’s speech. Form an orderly queue Labour types…

Ed Balls causes an explosion in Kirkcaldy telling The Times

‘Nobody is going to look back at any point in history and say that Gordon Brown was a great Prime Minister…’

Breaking: Gordon Brown Resigns

Gordon Brown has resigned.

The Labour councillor quit Cannock Chase District Council this week.

Guido really enjoyed writing that headline once again. If only...

A Tale of Two Visits

See if you can spot the difference…

There Should be a Third Labour By-Election

Labour cannot force Joyce out and he is denying the affair that the Daily Record alleged this morning. However one by-election is a certainty: Labour MP Marsha Singh is standing down in Bradford West saying he has “…come to a very painful conclusion to announce my retirement because I’m in the job to serve my constituents and, if I can’t do that I don’t deserve to be paid for the job. They don’t deserve that and I can’t let them down.”

If only all MPs who are seemingly unable to properly serve their constituents, were so noble:

Guido isn’t holding his breath…

Time For President Brown to Stand Down

 

With World Bank President Robert Zoellick stepping down on June 30, the successor would traditionally be another American, Guido has a better idea. One wannabee candidate has proved their pulling power by making over £1.4 million from speaking engagements. This man has written weighty tomes on the economic crisis, and claims to have all the solutions. If those plans do not work, he can always full back on the moral compasses given to him by his father. A man who says he not only saved the world and saved the banks too:

Surely it is time for Gordon to stand down as an MP and begin a full-time campaign to become the next president of the World Bank.

As Predicted, Rangers Cursed

Some people are sceptical of the Curse of the One Eyed Son of the Manse and think that Guido exaggerates the power and reach of the curse. As this blog would take no pleasure in reporting, stock markets fell in the wake of his visits, natural and political disasters would hit the countries of leaders he met and the most powerful element of the curse was that any association with any sporting figures resulted in them losing. Raith Rovers had cause to regret Gordon Brown’s support…

Back in October 2009 Iain Martin predicted that the jinx would put fear into fans of Glasgow Rangers. With the Club going into bankruptcy, so it has come to pass…

See also: Brown Gets the Celtic Treatment

Gordon’s Legacy Sulk

Last week the Number 10 website was updated with a full history section about previous Prime Ministers. For balance and independence the biographies were outsourced to Queen Mary University’s Mile End Group, but their historical impartiality wasn’t enough for one person concerned about their legacy. Downing Street sources say that Gordon had a mighty strop about it, vetoed various photographs and demanded revisions as the text “was not flattering enough”. Seems remarkably generous to Guido…

Gordon Brown Doesn’t Have A Clue

Usually the rule in politics is: don’t ask a question you do not know the answer to. It goes without saying that you do not ask a question when you have already been told the answer in writing. That would be a waste of time and money.[…] Read the rest

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+ + + Fred Shredded + + +

As the PM sat down after a tough outing in the Commons, the news breaks that Fred Goodwin was told at 3pm that he had been stripped of his knighthood “by the Queen”. Intriguing timing.

Knighted by Gordon for banking and stripped by Dave for, er, banking.[…] Read the rest

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A Message For Gordon

Yesterday Guido brought you the news that Gordon Brown was up to his old trick of locking horns with newspapers editors. He’s had a mighty fall though as the most he can spin is his local rag these days. The original copy and a page scan of the article Brown had pulled from the Fife Courier website mysteriously appeared earlier. […] Read the rest

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Gordon Brown Bullying Editors Again

Guido forgot to link to an article sent to him yesterday from the website of Fife’s Courier. When Guido went back to the piece today though, it had mysteriously disappeared:

The “Opponents accuse Gordon Brown of failing to perform duties as MP‎” headline is very clear on Google News:

Essentially the errant former Prime Mentalist has faced calls from his local council to quit due to his spectacular efforts to avoid representing his constituents. […] Read the rest

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What a Difference Two Years Makes

730 days ago the Labour Party were secretly flapping about their leader, but publicly grinning, all be it with guns to their head:

If Guido recalls correctly, Gordon’s “relaunch” a few days later was a spectacular success.[…] Read the rest

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Christmas, Brought to You By Nokia

Brownite destruction? Cover up? Surely not…

Via Paul Waugh
[…] Read the rest

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Steve’s Pitch

They say that history is written by the victors, but that hasn’t stopped the Indy’s Steve Richards trying to buck the trend. Upon reading his “Gordon is still great and should come back and teach us all how to save the world” piece, you could be forgiven for thinking his copy was filed after the festive sherry was passed around the Indy office, but something else piqued Guido’s interest. […] Read the rest

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Socrates R.I.P.

[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

The FT’s Wolfgang Munchau on the “fake maths” of economic forecasts:

“The truth is that our ability to forecast the future beyond the current quarter is limited… The curse of our time is fake maths. Think of it as fake news for numerically literate intellectuals: it is the abuse of statistics and economic models to peddle one’s own political prejudice… The fakeness of the maths lies in an exaggerated inference. Economic models have their uses, as do opinion polls. They provide information to policymakers and markets. But nobody can see through the fog of the future.”

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