Labour Demand Photo ID to Attend Conference

Labour are making a song and dance about the government stamping down on voter fraud by introducing voter ID. Labour say this will stop poor people, young and people of colour without passports from voting. The government is offering free-of-charge voter photo ID to stop the kind of electoral fraud that is common and difficult to prove…

Labour Conferences require photographic ID together with written delegate applications which are further vetted by the police. The cheapest costs £30.

Momentum claim “The Tories’ plan to introduce compulsory photo ID for voters will disproportionately affect tens of thousands of BAME and marginalised groups”. Despite the voter ID cards being free. Labour charge £30 for a photo ID pass for their conference. Who is really excluding marginalised groups from politics?

Jeremy Corbyn actually hired a Momentum organiser convicted of voter fraud to work in his office. Could there be some other reason why Momentum are campaigning against Voter ID checks?

Twice As Many Voters Trust Boris than Corbyn on Brexit

Jeremy Corbyn’s repeated attack line on Boris that “this Prime Minister cannot be trusted” might carry more weight if the country thought that Jeremy Corbyn was trustworthy at all. In reality, Corbyn is trusted on Brexit by just 16% of the UK public and distrusted by 76%. Conversely, more than twice as many people trust Boris, with his rating standing at 32%.

Less trusted than either of them, however, is this Parliament, which carries a lowly 14% trust rating – two points even lower than Corbyn. No wonder he doesn’t want to change it up with an election…

Andrex Pooh-Poohs Brexit Scare Stories

Guido is disappointed to report that post-Brexit, readers will not have to resort to using copies of The New European when they go to the loo; as beloved toilet paper company, Andrex, have flushed away remainers claims that Brexit will limit supplies. Britain’s global roll will only be enhanced outside the tearable EU…


The 77-year-old number one number two company confirmed that “nearly all” of their product is manufactured in the UK, and they have strong contingency plans to ensure supplies roll on, “whatever the outcome of Brexit may be.” Guido looks forward to taking apart future remainer fake loos…

Corbyn’s Attempt at Humour

The country’s most irritable geography supply teacher tried joining in with the usual light-hearted tone of the Humble Address debate this afternoon, by making a prostitute joke…

As you can see in the footage, the subject of Corbyn’s joke was in stitches. Guido won’t be applying our ‘LoLabour’ tag to this one…

110 British Indian Organisation Claim Corbyn has ‘Sown Seeds of Disharmony’

As Guido reported on Friday, despite not being Prime Minister, Corbyn has already managed to spark a major diplomatic row in India following a meeting he had with the left wing Indian Congress Party in which he claimed they had discussed the ongoing issue in Kashmir, which then caused Modi’s party to accuse their opponents of “shameful shenanigans”. The Congress Party hit back, accusing Corbyn of misrepresenting their meeting. Corbyn’s stellar foreign policy record continues…

Now, 110 British Indian organisations have signed a letter addressed to Corbyn, expressing their “deep dismay” at the “one-sided and divisive” emergency motion on Kashmir that was passed at Labour’s conference, which has “sown the seeds of community disharmony within the United Kingdon“. Read the full letter below…

Guido also learns that a big protest is now planned for Wednesday, and Lord Gadhia will today be leading a charge on the issue in Parliament. This issue for Labour isn’t Kash-merely going to go away…

Sunday Newspaper Erases Women

Yesterday, one Sunday paper noticeably chose not to feature a single woman’s by-line until page 15… The Observer. The wokest Sunday paper of them all…

By comparison, The Telegraph had a female by-line on page 1; The Times on page 2; the Mail on Sunday on page 5 and the Express on page 6. Guido doesn’t fail to Observe the irony…

Queen: UK Will Leave EU on the October 31

You can’t argue with God’s representative on earth…

Full Queen’s Speech Text and Background Briefing

Queen’s Speech text in full for download here.

Dennis Skinner’s Heckle

He had two whole years to come up with it…

Minister Calls on MPs to Start Working Weekends

Home Office Minister and Minister for Women, Victoria Atkins, today called on MPs to pull their fingers out and start working on Saturdays and Sundays to get Brexit done. Presumably when Brexit’s done, Victoria would allow MPs to slim down their work hours again – an Atkins diet of sort…

Fracking XR

A reader writes from Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens:

“I live overlooking the XR camp. They are using Calor gas and ironically our block is so energy efficient we never have the heating on but it is powered by renewables. I am spitting feathers with rage but police actually admitted they don’t know what’s going on…”

That wouldn’t be fracked gas being used to warm up their lentil soup… would it?

Buckland to Revive Tradition in Queen’s Speech Ceremony

The Lord Chancellor, Robert Buckland, will today reverse the decades-long trend of modernising the role of Lord Chancellor. Robert’s Bucking the trend…

Guido learns that Buckland will be reverting to the full wig, which was ditched in 2013 by Grayling after being told non-lawyers should not wear it.

Buckland will also be reverting to tradition by walking backwards after giving her majesty the speech – part of the ceremony ditched decades ago (however it was brought back by Jack Straw for a few years). Guido’s sure Her Majesty will appreciate it…

UPDATE: Buckland has gone back on his plan to walk backwards, deciding to walk back down the steps not facing the monarch. For shame.

Saj to Hold Budget on November 6

Just weeks after his massively overshadowed spending review, Sajid will be presenting a budget to the Commons on the 6th November – just 6 days after we are supposed to have left the EU…

In a statement, the Government said:

” This will be the first Budget after leaving the EU. I will be setting out our plan to shape the economy for the future and triggering the start of our infrastructure revolution.

This is the right and responsible thing to do -we must get on with governing.”

Remember, remember the 6th November: spending hikes, tax giveaways and plots…

Rich’s Monday Morning View

Get the Hottest Dress in Westminster

Sky’s Beth Rigby is reporting on today’s Queen’s Speech wearing the ‘Jungle Cat Pleated Dress’ from Whistles – the same dress that Carrie Symonds wore at Conservative Party Conference two weeks ago. You too can own October’s hottest dress in Westminster for just £179

Carrie attended today’s ceremony in a laurel wreath-style navy blue headband and dark dress, while Stanley Johnson sported a crisp white shirt and Tory blue tie similar to this Harvie and Hudson Navy Racehorses Woven Silk Tie (£50).

Get in touch with any more Westminster fashion spots at team@order-order.com

Guido Hears Lee Rowley and Sarah Newton to Give Loyal Address Tomorrow

Guido hears that Lee Rowley and Sarah Newton will be the Tory MPs delivering the traditional Loyal Address tomorrow, which open the Commons’ State Opening debate. The Loyal Addresses are traditionally funny…

Rowley is a Labour-defeating, son-of-a-milkman sound Thatcherite Brexiteer; while Newton is a Lib Dem-facing South-Western MP, who will provide a softer touch. The speech will take place from 11:30 tomorrow.

The government’s agenda is expected to set out 22 new bills, with an emphasis on those that will allow the UK to “seize the opportunities that Brexit presents“. Now all that waits is to hear Skinner’s traditional heckle…

Marr Falsely Attacks Patel for Laughing at Industry Warning

Interviewing Priti Patel this morning, Andrew Marr began reading out a letter sent from major industry players to the Government on a potential no-deal Brexit. Whilst reading the letter out, Marr looked up and accused Patel of ‘laughing’ – even though she clearly was not. 

Immediately Twitter jumped on the clip, attacking the Home Secretary for something she didn’t do. Bad form from Marr…

Patel: Northern Ireland Being Treated Differently Would be an Unacceptable Deal

Blackford: Corbyn Has to Respect Democracy (On Scottish Independence – not Brexit)

Mogg: UK can Leave the EU ‘Empire’ With a Deal, Without an Extension

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