Record Number of Boris’s Born

Unlike Boris, the ONS have released official birth figures, which show the number of parents naming their baby boys after the new PM has hit a record level of 47 babies. 34% up on last year. 

The previous Boris births peak was 43 in 2014, in the run up to the then Mayor of London returning to the Commons. The figures also show a 25% fall in the number of Jeremys – much in line with Labour’s polling position under Corbyn’s leadership; and the number of Theresas staying broadly stagnant. Sadly Guido has not spotted a single case of Jean-Claude fever…

mdi-timer 29th August 2019 @ 12:00 pm 29th Aug 2019 @ 12:00 pm mdi-comment Comments
Senior Tories Revel in Plans to Scrap May’s Legacy

Senior Tory MPs can hardly contain their excitement at the forthcoming opportunity from a general election to scrap swathes of Theresa May’s nanny state legacy, Guido can reveal. As the Rt Hon. Peter Manion MP famously said, “we need to say boo to nanny”.

One senior minister has said the party is going to use their next general election manifesto to “take Tippex” to the long list of the former PM’s interventionist policies, including the swathe of ‘sin taxes’ that have been recently introduced. Top of the list, however, is May’s “baffling” energy price cap that free market Tories have never warmed too – especially after it was revealed the policy has totally failed in ending huge bill increases.

The news will surely come as another blow to May, following Boris’ confirmation that her main legacy – the Withdrawal Agreement – is totally dead. At this rate, her only legacy will be Lord Barwell of Winning Marginal Seats…

mdi-timer 27th August 2019 @ 1:26 pm 27th Aug 2019 @ 1:26 pm mdi-comment Comments
May Rejected People’s PMQs

This week, Boris launched his ‘People’s PMQs’ allowing him to answer the public’s questions directly, in one of many examples of Downing Street getting on top of its PR and Coms operation since the new administration started. The People’s PMQs always looked like an obvious PR win, proved by the Facebook livestream receiving 230,000 views and overwhelmingly positive feedback. 

Guido hears from Downing Street aides that the ‘People’s PMQs’ idea was pitched to Theresa May months ago only for her to reject the proposal. Guido is hardly surprised to discover the Maybot missed what could have been an open PR goal…

mdi-timer 16th August 2019 @ 2:40 pm 16th Aug 2019 @ 2:40 pm mdi-comment Comments
Sturgeon: Conversations With May Were “Soul-Destroying”

It’s not often that Guido agrees with Nicola Sturgeon but her brutal assessment of conversations with Theresa May at Iain Dale’s Edinburgh Fringe show will have got politicians and dignitaries the world over nodding in agreement:

“Having conversations with Theresa May was pretty soul-destroying and tortuous [laughter]. You know, that was her style and by the end of this interview people might decide that I should have taken some of her advice – she would never depart from a script, no matter where you tried to take the conversation.”

Sturgeon went on to pay Boris Johnson as much of a compliment as he could expect from the leader of the SNP, saying “Boris Johnson does talk a good game. He’s one of these guys that talks utter nonsense with complete conviction and confidence”. Presumably John “Lynch” McDonnell will be equally charitable when he joins Dale for tonight’s show…

mdi-timer 6th August 2019 @ 3:03 pm 6th Aug 2019 @ 3:03 pm mdi-comment Comments
Did Philip May Buy Maggie’s Bracelet?

When leaving Downing Street for the last time, Theresa May wore a bracelet remarkably similar to one favoured by Margaret Thatcher, which was sold at auction to a mystery buyer two months ago for the princely sum of £40,000. Thatcher wore her bracelet on her first day in office in 1979, as well as when she met world leaders like Gorbachev and Mandela. If only May had copied the policies as well as the jewellery…

mdi-timer 26th July 2019 @ 9:45 am 26th Jul 2019 @ 9:45 am mdi-comment Comments
What Theresa May Did Next
mdi-timer 25th July 2019 @ 5:00 pm 25th Jul 2019 @ 5:00 pm mdi-comment Comments
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