LibDems Longing For Clegg

One politically-confused co-conspirator took it upon themselves to join the Liberal Democrats this month. The charitable reader was however surprised to receive a slightly nostalgic membership card:

The back reads like an obituary:

A LibDem source confirms it is one of several current membership cards available, along the theme of “liberal people from history“:

“We do a range of about 11 or 12, and new members can choose whichever one they want… it’s a variety of liberal images/people from history. Lloyd George, Gladstone, Paddy, Kirsty Williams, a pair of sandals, Charles Kennedy, Shirley Williams etc. We’re launching a Tim Farron one at conference”.

Don’t all rush at once…

Shameless LibDems Bung Honours to More Donors

nick clegg sad

Next time the LibDems tell us how the House of Lords is an antiquated, corrupt body that needs reform, remember who they chose to give honours to today:

Duncan Greenland CBE: Has donated a total of £316,858.95 to the LibDems since 2004, £31,000 of which went to Clegg’s constituency.

Richard Duncalf OBE: Donated £216,000 to the party since 2007, including an individual £10,000 donation to Clegg.

Sir Anthony Ullman: Given the party £108,000 in total, including £30,000 directly to Clegg four days before he visited Ullmann’s firm in 2013.

Ian Wright CBE: Given £32,807.79 in addition to £9,000 to Clegg directly.

It stinks.

Where’s Cleggy?

Not only is Nick Clegg missing from Tim Farron’s star-studded top team, the LibDems have forgotten to include their former leader on the list of current MPs on their website:

There are only 8 of ’em, you’d have thought they could remember them all…

Clegg Turns Down Farron Job Offer

farron1

The LibDems have announced their new ‘top’ team. Clearly Nick Clegg is too busy with his speaking engagements:

“Nick Clegg was offered a post in Tim’s spokesperson team, but decided after some consideration that he wanted to take a quieter role on the back benches and would not be taking a spokesperson position at this time.”

Here are the riveting details in full:

  1. Leader: Tim Farron MP
  2. Economics: Baroness Susan Kramer
  3. Foreign Affairs/Chief Whip/Leader of the house: Tom Brake MP
  4. Defence: Baroness Judith Jolly
  5. Home Affairs: Alistair Carmichael MP
  6. Health: Norman Lamb MP
  7. Education: John Pugh MP
  8. Work and Pensions: Baroness Zahida Manzoor
  9. Business: Lorely Burt
  10. Energy and Climate Change: Lynne Featherstone
  11. Local Government: Mayor of Watford, Cllr Dorothy Thornhill
  12. Transport: Baroness Jenny Randerson
  13. Environment and Rural Affairs: Baroness Kate Parminter
  14. International Development: Baroness Lindsay Northover
  15. Culture Media and Sport: Baroness Jane Bonham-Carter
  16. Equalities: Baroness Meral Hussein-Ece
  17. Justice/Attorney General: Lord Jonathan Marks
  18. Northern Ireland: Lord John Alderdice
  19. Scotland: Willie Rennie MSP, Leader of the Scottish Liberal Democrats
  20. Wales: Kirsty Williams AM, Leader of the Welsh Liberal Democrats
  21. Campaigns Chair: Greg Mullholland MP
  22. Grassroots Campaigns: Cllr Tim Pickstone, Chair of the Association of Liberal Democrat Councillors

Who?

Clegg Whores Himself Out For $55,000

Poor Nick Clegg has seen his £134,565 Deputy Prime Minister’s salary plummet to a measly £67,000 now he is merely a lowly MP. How will he cope?

By hiring Leading Authorities, a Washington based agent, to manage his after-dinner speaking engagements. Boasting of his “internationalist approach to world affairs”, Clegg says he is available to give speeches “in five European languages”:

“For UK audiences, Clegg shares his experiences about the future of politics and the direction of the UK, specifically relating to the EU. For international groups, he explores how current UK politics affects international relations.”

How much will it set you back to book him? A cool $55,000.

Asian audiences with deeper pockets are asked to “please inquire”.

Seems a bit steep… Ken Clarke will do you a drab speech about Europe for under 10 grand…

Tom Watson Diverted Resources From Marginals For Vanity Project

Labour MPs who suffered polling day humiliation must be delighted at the prospect of Tom Watson becoming their party’s new deputy leader. Apparently he wants to turn the Labour Party into the “finest campaigning organisation in Britain”:

So what’s his track record there? The man who cocked up the 2012  Bradford West by-election spent this election campaign rounding up hundreds of Labour activists and herding them to Sheffield Hallam. Watson’s vanity “mission to kick Nick Clegg out of parliament“, as he briefed the Birmingham Mail, even saw him try and fail to get Owen Jones to stand. This post on his Facebook page reveals Watson’s responsibility for diverting valuable resources away from marginal seats, which Labour went on to lose:

“Though [Labour’s Sheffield Hallam candidate] is not on the official key seat list, he is top of mine.”

Those resources diverted by Watson would have been much better spent in marginals like, say, Morley and Outwood…

Friday Caption Contest (Election Special)

Better late than never… 

Nick Clegg Reads Mean Tweets

Via SunNation

Student Drops His Pants in Front of Clegg

Bit late to this, Clegg handled the pantsdown lad well, the security guy was less than impressed. Guido has no explanation… was it for a bet?

Do email guido.fawkes@order-order.com if you know the lad.

The Sky News General Affection Song

Who’s going to get it on?

Ashcroft: Farage and Clegg Behind

Worth taking with a large pinch of salt because Ashcroft doesn’t prompt candidates’ names, but he has UKIP behind in South Thanet:

And Clegg trailing in Sheffield Hallam:

Guido has a considerable amount of money saying otherwise in Sheffield…

Data Shows Miliband Less Sexy Than Coalition Leaders

yougov-attractiveness

It is not so #SexyMiliband according to a YouGov survey bring further proof that we have passed peak #SexyMiliband. Nick Clegg is the housewife’s choice, Cameron is sloppy seconds. Ed comes a distant third just ahead of Nigel Farage.

MiliFandom is clearly a minority interest…

Inside the Bizarre Lib Dem Manifesto Launch

IMG_20150415_101853

Guido headed across the river to the Lib Dem Manifesto launch held in a Battersea warehouse that has been turned into a “creative space.” It was so creative that to accuses the venue, you had to wander down a graffiti strewn brick passageway that opened up into bizarre neon nightclub. At the front was a garishly lit cage where the main event would take place, while strewn around  the edges were Maoist canvases of the dear leader himself in a number of ideological poses. Nick Clegg painting a wall, Nick Clegg watering vegtables, Nick Clegg holding a hammer…

All the press big wigs were there. Quentin Letts had positioned himself nonchalantly leaning against a rusty pillar at the front, sceptically surveying the sandal clad crowd, while Faisal Islam stood agitated at the back, pleading with his producer to stop patronising him. “Just speak clearly and I’ll be fine, I’m just going to do a show and tell”…

Clegg walked into the neon lit ring stage and with casual abandon began addressing the party faithful. “We made Britain better,” clap clap. “The Lib Dems would add heart to a Conservative government and a brain to a Labour one,” clap clap. “Most people want a a stronger economy and a fairer society,” clap clap. Farage bad. Salmond bad. Nick Clegg good, clap clap. The words were coming out with the rhythmic determination of a seppuku death poem. 

With a final ripple of applause and the finishing line in sight, a relieved Clegg settled into taking questions with a rambling self-assuredness. But the venue gremlins weren’t going to be so kind. The sound system went haywire, someone kicked over a fancy LED uplight and the broadcasters gave up on waiting for the thing to finish and started broadcasting from the back in defiance of the hushing from the Lib Dem supporters. They should have spend less on fancy lights and more on a PA system…

Chaotic

 

Highlights: ‘Say You’re Sorry For Crashing the Economy’

The moment it all went wrong for Ed, punched out by Clegg on the economy…

Ashcroft Poll: Clegg Behind in Sheffield Hallam

The LibDems have dismissed talk of Nick Clegg losing Sheffield Hallam as nonsense, but Lord Ashcroft has him trailing Labour by two points in the seat today. The rest of the LibDem battleground polling makes dire reading too. Just a snapshot…

Miliband in the Middle, Cameron on the Far Right

Thursday night’s mass-debate will see Miliband in the centre, with Cameron on the far right.

The full line up will be: Natalie Bennett, Nick Clegg, Nigel Farage, Ed Miliband, Leanne Wood, Nicola Sturgeon, David Cameron.

While the PM has got his wish of being far from Farage and Ed, the Labour leader has lucked out in terms of aesthetics.

“Clowns to the left of him” says a Tory source.

This is the Worst Thing the LibDems Have Ever Done

Worse than tuition fees.

Dave the Tank, Paddington Clegg and Other Friends

Each of the party leaders have told Netmums which kids’ TV character they think they are most like (other similarly named websites for mothers are available). The likenesses are uncanny…

David Steel Pushing Clegg Out the Window

David Steel on post-election priorities

“We mustn’t start pushing Nick Clegg out the window until we’ve actually had the election.” Ok, not until then.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Seen Elsewhere



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Tobias Ellwood tells LBC…

“So Jeremy Corbyn will meet with Hamas, Hezbollah and the IRA with no preconditions, but won’t meet the British Prime Minister without her agreeing to his precondition.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.