EU ‘Supergirl’ Madeleina Kay has spent the last few weeks jollying around Europe on an interrailing trip, having realised that going on a free holiday is much more fun than standing in the pouring rain outside Parliament with weird old men wrapped in EU flags. Naturally Kay didn’t fund the trip herself, she got the weird old men to fund her vacation instead. So far she’s raised a whopping £22,438, even Eurocrats don’t get funded so handsomely for their jollies…

Her single biggest donor is a man called Adrian Goff, whose generosity currently amounts to a sizable £2,700. According to one past Tweet, Adrian is even using his deceased mother’s inheritance to fund Kay. Indeed Goff is so keen to give money to Madeleina he’s taken to asking if there are other ways to pay her beyond the GoFundMe account…

It turns out Goff’s philanthropic interests are broader than it first appears, Guido has discovered he’s a keen Lib Dem and, even less surprisingly, a porn enthusiast. His Twitter likes include literally hundreds of videos from adult account Voyeur House TV. His generosity has even extended to gifting flowers and “sexy red underwear” to one of the adult actresses from his favourite site:

Luckily for Adrian he’ll now be able to combine his two favourite hobbies after Guido uncovered the Hard Brexit porno being filmed right next to Madeleina’s FBPE friends in Westminster. Brings a whole new meaning to Centrist Daddy…

With the grown-ups struggling to secure any national media attention for their party conference, young Liberal Democrat activists decided to step into the breach by launching into a vicious civil war… over whether it was acceptable to drink in Wetherspoons. Tackling the big political issues one mixed grill at a time…

Self-proclaimed “EU Supergirl” Madeleina Kay started the row by sending out an impassioned plea for other conference-goers to put down their reasonably priced pints and “Stop Funding Hate”:

One foolish young activist decided to make a point of going to Spoons with the hashtag #liberalsbelieveinfreechoice – only to be told that it was equivalent to supporting apartheid and… the Nazis, obviously:

Good to see Young Liberals carrying the torch for the values of freedom and tolerance…