Ed Davey has kicked off his conference speech with some kind of torturous stand-up routine. He tried warming up the crowd with an apology to the “clowning community“… and suggested he “used the wrong C word” when describing the Tories. Rayner’s called Tories “scum”, Davey’s suggesting they’re “c**ts”. Labour and the LibDems will get on like a house on fire in a coalition…

Ed Davey has once again refused to rule out a coalition with Labour in two consecutive interviews yesterday, claiming only that they wouldn’t ally with the Tories because he “fought them at every election”. Starmer is publicly focussed on a “workable majority” and won’t say much else.

The command to remain tight-lipped about the much-anticipated Lib-Lab pact seems not to have reached the local level. Labour have been complaining of the LibDems’ dark art tactics ahead of the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, distributing leaflets with the usual dodgy bar charts. Labour said they had “gone feral” and were breaking the law. Meanwhile, “dry run” cooperation agreements between the two are failing, most recently with the collapse of Oxfordshire council’s “Fair Deal Alliance” on Sunday. Labour officials gave up and blasted the LibDems: “they aren’t interested in working together and instead simply want to score points and pass blame”. Bodes well for future cooperation…

As sure as night follows day, the Liberal Democrats have interrupted recess to demand Parliament be recalled. This time, focus is on the women’s World Cup Final. Their speculative effort would involve blowing the final whistle on recess to bring forward the time when pubs can serve alcohol, so punters can enjoy pints for kick-off. Daisy Cooper said:

“MPs should get down to Westminster tomorrow and score a last minute winner for our pubs and the Lionesses. The Liberal Democrats are calling for MPs to be recalled to pass a last-minute Statutory Instrument bringing forward the time all pubs across the country are allowed to serve alcohol, to 10am.”

To be fair, it’s a solid attack…

However, based on recent form, the play is only likely to end in another own goal. The party could now field a 11-a-side football team with all of their (failed) attempts to recall parliament:

1. August 2019 – Jo Swinson wants parliament to be recalled to debate the possibility of a no-deal Brexit. She was left disappointed.
2. April 2020 – The LibDems join calls for Parliament to be recalled in a virtual form in the context of the pandemic. It wasn’t.
3. July 2021 – Ed Davey calls for a recall to debate vaccine passports. His pleas fell on deaf ears.
4. April 2022 – They called for a recall to debate a motion of no confidence in Boris Johnson after he received a Partygate fine. Still no luck.
5. August 2022 – Scottish LibDems call for a Holyrood recall to discuss disruption to ferry services. Nope.
6. August 2022 – Recall parliament to discuss rising energy bills. Recess went undisturbed.
7. September 2022 – Debate the fallout from the mini-budget. No chance.
8. January 2023 – Their next effort was over A&E delays. It had the same outcome.
9. February 2023 – The Liberal Democrats’ number nine was when Daisy Cooper called for a recall over junior doctors’ strikes. She shot wide of the mark.
10. August 2023 – The LibDems displayed rare self awareness and joined in on the joke, calling for a recall to end the “bored journalist crisis”. You get the picture.
11. August 2023 – Their last-minute pub opening time intervention. You never know…

Hat-tip: Politico

The LibDems have deployed yet another of their trademark photo-ops following their by-election win in Somerton and Frome. This time, Ed Davey and Sarah Dyke provided bread and circuses as they lit a prop cannon, emblazoned with the phrase “get these clowns out of No.10”. Ed exclaimed “it’s time to end this Conservative circus”. Only one person was made to look like a clown…