Guido would have thought that the months-long cronyism row created by the David Cameron-Greensill scandal may have caused the government to improve their attempts at transparency. One source of eternal frustration to hacks is the ministerial release of meetings, which regularly imply some secretaries of state and SpAds enjoy fewer than a dozen meetings per quarter.

The Institute for Government’s Tim Durrant has now started pointing out the laughably slapdash approach taken by key figures when filling out these forms. Recently, Home Office ministers have self-reported as having attended:

Which sound like they run counter to the government’s equalities agenda. 

Other meeting details included one with Laura Kuennsberg, the purpose of which was unsurprisingly “Media Engagement”, and Sadiq Khan, who was met “to discuss London-related policy”. Colour Guido surprised…

The lack of attention to detail may have just hit a new low, however. DfT permanent secretary Bernadette Kelly is reported as recently having met “Paul Heathrow” to discuss “operational issues concerning Covid-19″. 

Just one small technical point: there’s no one called Paul Heathrow. Like Tim, Guido presumes the government meant Lord (Paul) Deighton, the non-executive chair of the airport. Either transparency standards are now on the floor, or nominative determinism has gone too far…

The transsexuals versus women culture war has flared up in the Labour Party again. Last night, the Labour Party’s social media lurking transsexual-taleban faction exploded after the Labour MP for Canterbury, Rosie Duffield, committed the thought-crime of liking a tweet suggesting transsexual people are “cosplaying” (the practice of dressing up as character from film or TV) “as the opposite sex”. 

This tweet proved incredibly unpopular with LGBT Labour, who called for the withdrawal of the whip and the suspension of Duffield from the parliamentary Labour Party following a pattern “…of LGBT-phobic behaviour”. This is despite the fact that the original tweet that Duffield liked was posted by a gay man.

Since the Twitter uproar, the Labour Party has said it is looking into the matter and that it “takes all complaints of homophobia or transphobia extremely seriously.” Labour isn’t going to win any votes getting caught up in arguments about the colonisation of gay culture…

This isn’t the first time that Duffield has come under fire for allegedly transphobic behaviour. Last year she liked a tweet that argued the phrase “individuals with a cervix” should say “women” instead. This is a controversial statement for Labour’s transsexual-taleban, less so for voters… 

With Apsana Begum’s housing fraud trial still ongoing, John McDonnell made a guest star appearance this afternoon as a live defense witness. While it only lasted a few minutes, McDonnell gave the hard left MP a gushing character reference. Guido’s courtroom mole gives the rundown:

“She came across as a very straightforward, sincere, committed person”

“[She is] honest, sincere, extremely caring, and she comes across always as wanting to do the right thing. She comes across as a very good person.”

McDonnell confesses he was hoping to take her on as a PPS had Labour won in 2019, saying he had confidence in her judgment, ability and dedication. Damning…

When asked whether she was intelligent, McDonnell replied “very bright”. He confirmed that in his view she is “capable”. When asked whether she is a good political operator he claimed the term would be “derogatory” though “can put a good argument”

“She has won over people with her honesty and sincerity in Labour and in the House overall.”

The court returns at 11am tomorrow and deliberates on Thursday…

Standing in the pouring rain at Surrey Police headquarters this afternoon, a dripping wet Boris revealed that – as part of his new Beating Crime Plan – he now wants to see the return of ‘fluorescent-jacketed chain gangs’ to deter would-be offenders:

“Somebody’s anti-social behaviour may be treated as a minor crime but it could be deeply distressing to those who are victims.

If you are guilty of anti-social behaviour and you are sentenced to unpaid work, as many people are, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be out there in one of those fluorescent-jacketed chain gangs, visibly paying your debt to society.”

Whether or not these yobs will actually be chained at the hip is another matter: a government source tells Guido that ‘chain gangs’ was just a “turn of phrase”, and they won’t really be locked together. Talk about raining on Boris’s parade…

Labour’s financial headaches are about to get a lot worse, as GMB has announced it’s pulled funding for the party’s capital branch. The Union has just announced they are turning off the taps for London Labour after a grieving caretaker was sacked by Labour-run Islington Council after 24 years’ service. Not a great outcome amid the party’s two-day campaign on security in work…

The GMB Regional Secretary tells the press:

“His callous sacking over an honest error is beginning to look like political victimisation. 

“GMB will always back our members and if Islington Labour refuse to listen to reason we will hit them where it hurts – in the party coffers.  

“It’s a shame that other Labour candidates have to suffer the consequences of Islington council’s actions, but that’s the way it is until this matter is resolved.” 

GMB’s decision to cut funding could yet prove a drop in the ocean if Unite doesn’t turn their taps on any time soon. More Labour HQ lay-offs yet to come?

When the government proposed the Digital Services Tax, Rishi Sunak and other Treasury ministers emphasised that

“The Digital Services Tax will apply to a group’s businesses that provide a social media service, search engine or an online marketplace to UK users. These businesses will be liable to Digital Services Tax when the group’s worldwide revenues from these digital activities are more than £500 million and more than £25 million of these revenues are derived from UK users.”

They stressed to Parliament that British small businesses would be exempt, that only the big bad (American) tech behemoths would be liable, and that it would raise £2 billion from the likes of Amazon, Google, and Facebook who would otherwise avoid being taxed. Guido pointed out that, in the end, people pay taxes. Ultimately, it’ll be the customers – us – who end up footing the bill.

This was meant in a theoretical sense; that costs would eventually be passed on, through raised prices, to maintain the same returns for the corporations. Amazon saw it in a practical sense and ruthlessly whacked it straight on to the bills of customers. British businesses, who rely on goods being shipped by Amazon, now have to fork out for the rise, with the government not getting a penny from Amazon – just their British customers. The message was clear: your government did this to you. Today, Google have emailed customers saying they will do likewise.

Neither Amazon nor Google are paying the tax, the small British businesses that ship goods on Amazon that they advertise via Google are getting clobbered by it. These businesses will have to put up prices to customers as a result. Thanks a lot Rishi…