Standing in the pouring rain at Surrey Police headquarters this afternoon, a dripping wet Boris revealed that – as part of his new Beating Crime Plan – he now wants to see the return of ‘fluorescent-jacketed chain gangs’ to deter would-be offenders:

“Somebody’s anti-social behaviour may be treated as a minor crime but it could be deeply distressing to those who are victims.

If you are guilty of anti-social behaviour and you are sentenced to unpaid work, as many people are, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be out there in one of those fluorescent-jacketed chain gangs, visibly paying your debt to society.”

Whether or not these yobs will actually be chained at the hip is another matter: a government source tells Guido that ‘chain gangs’ was just a “turn of phrase”, and they won’t really be locked together. Talk about raining on Boris’s parade…