In the speed skating Winter Olympics of 2002, the racer coming in dead last won gold when, on the last lap and in sight of the finish line, everyone in front of him fell over.

He had kept up. He was still racing. He shimmied through the carnage and pipped it with a puffed-out chest.

If, in the last lap before the general election, Labour all fall over, Rishi will be right there, still racing, shimmying his pixie hips to the finish line (imagine how angry his family will be!).

It’s not impossible. Although it having happened before in 1992 makes it less likely in 2024 – but whether or not he is in the race, he is still in racing form at PMQs.

Keir Starmer, relaxing into the role of PM-in-waiting a little too thoroughly, fluffed his joke about Liz Truss’s book (the “rare unsigned copy” joke from the film Notting Hill) and left the PM to comment on her statement that her budget was “the happiest moment of her premiership” asking, “has he met anyone with a mortgage who agrees?” (Silky delivery followed by knowing laughter).

Rishi’s answer created a record for this Parliament. “All I can say is, he should spend a little less time reading that book and a little more time reading his deputy leader’s tax advice.” Tsunamic Tory laughter halted proceedings for 32 seconds (roughly a week in parliamentary time).

It wasn’t a complete answer to LOTO’s question, it wasn’t exactly spontaneous wit, but what a wallop. Keir’s equally prepared counter – “a billionaire smearing a working class woman” – lacked chivalry, some thought, but it produced counter-cheers and a pointing contest which everyone enjoys.

The PMIW proceeded with a well structured series of questions introducing “the Tory obsession with unfunded tax cuts”. He declared that’s what caused Truss’s budget collapse and subsequent interest rate hikes. It’s what people think, true or not. He then asked more than once how the PM’s “unfunded £46 billion promise to scrap National Insurance” was to be paid for. Was it to be by cutting the NHS budget, cutting the state pension or by “another Tory tax rise”?

The PM found a number of different ways of saying, “if you think I’m answering that you’re more of a noggin than you look.” Among them – Keir habitually sides with our enemies. That he twice tried to make his own Trident-denying, NATO-sceptic, anti-Semitic predecessor elected Prime Minister. That he, Rishi, had campaigned on the dangers of Liz Truss’s approach. That the triple lock had been promised for the next Parliament and NHS funding was at record levels.

The PM didn’t mention the third option, so it might well be that they are planning to pay for the tax cuts with tax rises.

Whatever the merits of the arguments, there hasn’t, with the partial exception of Cameron, been such an accomplished Conservative Leader at the despatch box since Mrs. T. Light on his feet, quick, deft and well prepared, he can even talk and think at the same time – a talent usually exercised only by angry wives – which he will need if Labour does fall over, he does squeak the election and he does have to have that frank conversation with Mrs. Sunak.

P.S.: The most memorable parliamentary stoppage your sketch writer has witnessed was caused by one Brian Binley after Gordon Brown had seen private polling and failed to call the snap election in 2007 that might have given him his mandate. Binley rose for the first question in PMQs to ask in a pleasant, cross party sort of way if the PM would visit his constituency where a record investment had created a world class, state-of-the-art bottling factory.

They say there are corners of the gallery where echoes of the consequent laughter can still, oh so faintly, be heard.