As lobby-fuelled allegations against Dominic Raab continue to bubble away, Guido can shed some light on the mindset of the snowflake civil servants lodging complaints. Taking a look down the list of civil service staff networks begins to look like the diversity section of a university societies fair – filled with safe spaces for every imaginable facet of identity politics. Knowing the civil service, it will come as no surprise to see the “flexible working network” featuring front and centre…

In addition to groups dedicated to representing race and religion, there are associations for dyslexia, dyspraxia, stammers and humanism. Of course, no diversity drive would be complete without LGBTQIA+ representation. The Civil Service LGBT+ Network aims to produce a more equal environment for those of “minority sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions, and sex characteristics.” It’s doing so by arranging LGBT+ History month quizzes and gay film screenings.

Just one LGBT group doesn’t quite cut the mustard these days. So the civil service has a second, for trans and intersex staff, called a:gender. A Freedom of Information request seen by Guido confirmed that the civil service doesn’t allow on-the-books facility time for such groups – suggesting they’re conducted outside of work duties. However, the LGBT+ network, for example, has a quiz at midday on Wednesday and a coffee morning at 10 a.m. this Thursday. Both are being conducted remotely.

In good news for SW1 herbivores, Guido has learnt that a Whitehall-wide Ethical Vegan Network has also recently been launched. Presumably tomatoes are off the menu…