Boris Attacks Rwanda Opposition from “Slightly Unexpected Quarters”

For some reason broadcast cameras were back filming Cabinet this morning as Boris made a speech on the government’s Rwanda deportation policy ahead of tonight’s* first flight. We have just learnt from action in the Supreme Court that after much legal skirmishing by lefty lawyers, one lucky migrant is due to be flown all expenses-paid by private jet to Rwanda. One eyebrow-raising line came right at the end of his scene setter for the Cabinet as the PM noted “some of the criticism” being levelled at the policy is coming from “slightly unexpected quarters”. Whoever could he be thinking of? 

Over the weekend it emerged Boris and Prince Charles’s relationship hasn’t just been strained because of his unwarranted intervention over illegal immigration. According to sources such is the PM’s animus towards the progressive heir to the throne “he struggled to come up with anything positive to say” when sitting down to film a pre-emptive BBC eulogy to be used in the event of his death.

“He told aides before the interview that he did not like Charles and made a series of jokes instead, paying tribute to his Duchy Organic biscuits.

He joked that Charles was the “king of biscuits” and said he feared that he would “take the recipe to his grave”.”

In return, Charles’s courtiers have briefed Johnson had disrespected the Prince by arriving for a visit to his Scottish Highlighands home in a “shambolic state” and appearing “distracted”. That’s normal for Boris, was the Prince expecting special treatment? No doubt the illegal migration crisis really affects millionaire Charles’s ability to access public services up in the Scottish Highlands…

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