The UK is on the cusp of victory in the Sausage War with the EU, after Brussels finally waved the white flag over allowing British bangers to be sold in Northern Ireland at the end of the grace period. Finally, the wurst is truly behind us.

The European Commission announced today that it would introduce a “sausage clause” for the sake of peace, allowing certain “national identity goods” to continue entering Northern Ireland. Reflecting on the day’s great victory, David Davis said: 

“It does demonstrate that taking a firm line with them works. If you are robust they know they have a lot to lose. Both sides need to be imaginative. It is a vindication of David Frost and his strategy. He’s done the right thing throughout all of this.”

Long live the cause of freedom!