The House of Lords’ equalities training hasn’t gone as smoothly as planned; in April it was revealed almost 60 members had refused to participate in the £82,158 compulsory training course, including nonagenarian Betty Boothroyd who’d been recovering from heart surgery. Another peer – 73 year-old Baroness Foster – wrote of the two-hour online course that she’d “lost the will” 10 minutes in:

“I’ve done some courses in my time in industry but this was just something else! Expensive, patronising nonsense; treated like children with typical stereotypical role play footage. You couldn’t make it up!”

Last month it transpired three Lords had been found to have breached the Lords’ code of conduct due to swerving the ‘Valuing Everyone’ training session, resulting in them being banned from parliament’s dining, banqueting, library and meeting room facilities. The country’s premier retirement home isn’t the walk in the park it used to be…

Despite these myriad farces, Guido now spots the Lords is doubling down: yesterday the Parliamentary Procurement & Commercial Service floated a new contract worth between £35,000 to £70,000 for a new programme of diversity and inclusion training. The service – expected to run from September 2021 to 2023 – will “focus on creating a more diverse and inclusive culture” among the House of Lords administrative staff. No doubt the House’s staff will be keenly anticipating their turn given the glowing reviews of their lordships…