Clearly in no mood for a quiet retirement, Nigel Farage wasted little time in announcing his first venture post-politics: the launch of a new profile and fan club page on the celebrity video-sharing app, Cameo. For just £63.75, Nige will record a video message of your choice and deliver it to you within a speedy 13 hours. A bargain price, considering Sarah Palin charges nearly £150 for the same service…

So far, Farage has 115 loyal members in his fan club and has shared six videos, though Guido expects he’ll soon have a hefty backlog of requests to sift through. If you want Nigel Farage to sing you happy birthday, Guido suggests you book early…