Guido can reveal that turkey twizzler-stealing Remainer chef Jamie Oliver is in the process of trying to collect names to put to his new anti-trade lobbying letter, to be sent to MPs over the weekend. In the letter he takes aim at “the wrong kind of trade”, which Guido can only presume by the rest of the letter is the ‘free’ kind. Oliver alleges that free trade deals could “damage child health, as shown by past trade agreements between Canada and Mexico and the USA where obesity rates increased dramatically.” This is, of course, bonkers.

His claim appears to be based on one academic paper (reported in The Guardian) claiming that a free trade deal between the US and Mexico led to an increase in childhood obesity rates in Mexico. Yet the paper was based on the fact that US companies and products – such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Doritos, and Coca Cola entered the Mexican market for the first time. It argues that these new brands, introduced in the 90s, are linked to an increase in childhood obesity. Oliver either hasn’t read the research he’s referring to, or is unaware that these companies already operate in the UK and sell to UK consumers…

The suggestions in his lobbying letter would also set back underdeveloped countries, targeting farmers in Africa and other developing nations in particular with trade barriers. Fair trade only when it suits…

Read his barmy nannying letter below, before it hits MP inboxes:

Dear [MP],

As my MP I’m asking you to help save our standards and protect child health in any future trade deals.

The trade deals we’re now negotiating could drive the biggest change in what British people eat for decades.

We welcome trade. But the wrong kind of trade deals could mean British farmers and food producers have to compete with products that would be illegal to produce here in the UK. They could mean we import more food that damages the environment. They could also damage child health, as shown by past trade agreements between Canada and Mexico and the USA where obesity rates increased dramatically.

That’s why, when the Agriculture and Trade Bills return to parliament, I am asking you to make the case that we save our world-leading British standards and protect child health in every trade deal. To do this we need to:

• Legislate to ensure our environmental, animal welfare and food safety standards are upheld in all UK produced and imported products.
• Strengthen the Government’s new Agriculture and Trade Commission by: Extending its duration to five years.
  • Including recognised public health, child obesity, animal welfare and environmental experts in its membership.
  • Ensuring it produces a report on every trade deal which should be debated and voted on in parliament.
  • Quickly implement plans to reduce child obesity, including improvements to our food labels and restrictions on junk food advertising.

Let’s have a race to the top, not a race to the bottom.

Please don’t let me down.

[insert name]