Tory Party Chairman Amanda Milling has caused a stir amongst the party membership this morning by discontinuing the multi-purpose plastic membership cards and replacing them with paper ‘membership certificates’, in order to save the environment or something. For some reason she chose to launch the controversial policy change in front of a map of the disastrous 2017 election results…

The move did not go down well with Tory MPs. Michael Fabricant complained the certificates will not fit in his trinket box, while Jane Stevenson offered a novel solution. Making the cards out of… card.