Prospective Labour Candidate is Dominatrix “Mistress Magpie”

A dominatrix who electrocutes clients for their sexual gratification today reveals plans to stand for election for Labour. “Mistress Magpie“, 39, hopes to give UKIP and the Tories a spanking at the 2018 Plymouth council elections. Proving Labour candidates are not always masochists, the buxom dom showed a local newspaper the tools of her trade. Lingering over a cane used in Singapore “for judicial punishments”,  “Mistress Magpie” quickly retreated from a tough-on-crime position: “I will only use it lightly“. Margaret Corvid, originally from the United States, described Brexit as a “horror” before continuing:

“My husband and I visited a councillor, a sweet, odd, funny friend. We asked if a woman who whips men for a living could ever be elected. Maybe, he said; times are changing.”

Plymouth council’s new chief whip?




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Rowan Atkinson tells The Times

“All jokes about religion cause offence, so it’s pointless apologising for them. You should really only apologise for a bad joke. On that basis, no apology is required.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Fry, Hislop, Merton &Guardian All Mocked Burka Fry, Hislop, Merton &Guardian All Mocked Burka
Corbyn’s Home Pranked By Jewish Activists Corbyn’s Home Pranked By Jewish Activists
Rowan Atkinson on Boris Rowan Atkinson on Boris