Tory Cabinet ministers winced as former Australian PM Tony Abbott warned Europe must use “force” to “turn boats around” and “establish camps” for migrants last night. The punchy speech at the Margaret Thatcher banquet in the Guildhall, Abbott’s first since being deposed, has been all over the Aussie press overnight, where Nigel Farage has praised him as “heroic“. One top Tory alternatively described it as “fascistic“. Iain Duncan Smith, John Whittingdale, Sajid Javid, Priti Patel, Liz Truss and Chris Grayling were among the Maggie fans present. Though IDS eschewed the black tie dress code for a photo-acceptable navy number.

UKIP’s representatives were put on the “Leon Brittan” table, though Suzanne Evans was spared an awkward evening by fortuitously being seated several tables away. Jim Davidson was uncharacteristically restrained during his speech, a rare occasion where he was not the most controversial speaker. He was followed by Jeffrey Archer, who managed to help raise £50,000 in a matter of minutes from donors in the room. “Unlike you, we now control our borders,” was the key message from Down Under…