PMQs: Another Strategic Failure for the Brainiac Leading Labour mdi-fullscreen

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His core vote strategy rests on a Marxist idea that the country is groaning under a cabal of Etonian cannibals. That we’re re-running the Great Depression. That We’ve Never Had It So Bad. That the poor will be soon paying to work and selling their children to restaurants.

Miserablism doesn’t win elections any more than Marxism.

Are we really ‘a country of food banks and bankers’ bonuses’? One per cent of us, perhaps.

The way he talks about us “everyday people” England has the happiness rating of a leper colony.

And what must we do to be saved?

Miliband is no Messiah. Pious, yes. Other-worldly, yes. Crucifixion-material, yes. Redeemer of the British people, no.

Cameron played up some story readers of the Mail on Sunday will recognise. Miliband went to Doncaster. He couldn’t open a door, got bullied by small children and set a carpet on fire. It was beyond bacon.

Speaker Bercow – that other misfit – lost control of the House as Cameron listed other Labour absurdities. Miliband’s policy on the minimum wage will result in its being cut. Energy prices would be fixed high at a time when they’re falling. Their big bet of 3 million unemployed and continuously falling wages has been lost. He forgot about the deficit. He’s a pratfall.

Nine more of these then it’s all over.

In other PMQs news. Sir John Chilcot took his turn in the stocks for a parliamentary pelting. Richard Ottaway said the big question in 2009 was whether the Iraq Inquiry would be reporting in time for the 2010 election. Here we were five years on asking the same question. Peter Tapsel drew on his early experience to observe that the inquiries into the Crimean War and the Dardenelles disaster were conducted with admirable efficiency compared with the “disgraceful incompetence of the Chilcot inquiry.” And then, in language unusual for parliament, that Blair and Bush “systematically sought to falsify the evidence on which the action was taken.”

Ming Campbell claimed none of the witnesses were holding up publication, and that one of the panel, Martin Gilbert had been ill. Are they all still being paid, I wonder?

Cameron’s response was that the report definitely would not be published before the election. He wasn’t saying that before his trip to America. The security apparatus over there has its own methods of persuasion. What if the President’s warm endorsements of Cameron had a quid pro quo.

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