SKETCH:  Rage Against the Cuts – DWP Questions

Q1: Research by the think tank Rage, Rage Against the Cuts shows that long-term youth unemployment of seasonally-adjusted people in the north-by-north-west among people between five foot seven and six feet is reaching appallingly record highs under this incompetent government of part-time, insecure, zero-hour contract workers.
A: The rising rate of employment has never been higher for all young people as measured by the OBR in six of the seven warmest days in the last quarter. The party opposite never did anything about it when they were in power and their councils are the ones making employees work in shoes that are three sizes too small.

Q2: Why has the Government IT shambles learnt nothing from IT shambles when we were in Government? How many shambles make a shambles? It’s pathetic!
A: That’s easily said, but the facts are different and everyone knows the new program is saving £1m a day, it’s on time, it’s on budget, it’s saving lives, it’s getting people back to work and while it has been shelved, pending review, it is being rolled out now all over the North by North East.

Q3: How many disabled people has the Government abandoned to pursue its bedroom tax by ignoring our Compulsory Jobs Guarantee showing 95 per cent of disabled people and two billion people worldwide are worse off under the same old out-of-touch Tories?
A: There have never been more disabled people in work as measured by the Disabled People in Work Index compiled by the Multi-Abilitied Billionaire Foundation, and that is in stark contrast to the situation under the last Government when disabled people were eaten by their families – Members opposite don’t like to hear that, Mr Speaker, they don’t like to be reminded while they’re moaning about food banks that disabled unemployed pensioners in poverty were eaten by their families, and that’s something we’ve been clearing up for years.

Q4-25: You’re brutal, hard-hearted apologists for a capitalist apparatus whose policies, statistics show, are bringing misery to millions.
A: You’re dim-witted, soft-headed noodles whose policies, statistics show, have brought misery to millions.

Q26: Bar later?
Q27: Chardonnay?




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Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond uses a trip to Berlin to mock the Foreign Secretary:

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Wise words with some applicability to the Brexit negotiations although I try to discourage talk of “cake” amongst my colleagues.”

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