'The John Bercow Guide' on How to Pick Up Drunk Women

Yesterday Mrs Bercow told the Standard of her “ladette” two bottles of wine and one night stands past. Many often wonder how the pint-sized Speaker managed to end up with the six foot something “cross between Jerry Hall, Lady Macbeth and Eva Peron” and now thanks to this morning’s Metro everything becomes clearer:

Speaker John Bercow has been credited as the author of a sex tip guide which told men how to “pick up drunk girls … ‘The John Bercow Guide’ to understanding women” appeared in ‘Armageddon’, a Conservative student magazine, in 1986 – when Bercow was a Lambeth councillor. The guide included categories on ‘How to pick up drunk girls’, ‘How to pick up virgins’, ‘How to pick up refined girls’, ‘How to get rid of a girl during sex’ and ‘How to get rid of a girl after sex’.

Like global warming, the John Bercow Guide’s pick-up strategies are an interesting theory.  Guido isn’t entirely sure lines like “If you’re free later maybe we could go back to your place and name your breasts” ever really work.  In fact funnily enough Guido can’t recall Bercow even having a girlfriend back in those days.  Anyway he has done well to land an experienced girl like Sally, particularly now she has sobered up.

Guido thinks Sally looks vaguely familiar, but it was over a decade ago, Guido was very, very drunk that night and was never good at remembering names…

UPDATE : Bad Al Campbell, another reformed drunk, is sticking up for Sally. What a surprise…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket
Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake
Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’ Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde