Oh Dear Sarah

That curse must be contagious… 

Via everyone.

“Ex-Politician” Gordon Paid £349,501 in One Month

No wonder the Prime Mentalist has forgotten he is still an MP. In October alone he has declared payments for outside work of £349,501, including for speeches and junkets to Shanghai, Johannesburg, Monaco and New York. As ever Gordon warns the press:

“I am not receiving any money from this role personally. It is being held by the Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown for the employment of staff to support my ongoing involvement in public life.”

Presumably that’s the “ongoing involvement in public life” he cannot remember he is still supposed to be doing.

That “office” flies Gordon around the world first class and puts him up in five star hotels, refuses to disclose how much it gives to charity, how much it pays Sarah Brown, how much is sitting in its bank account for when he finally quits. Who does he think he’s kidding…

WATCH: Gordon Brown Forgets He is an MP

Gordon Brown, speaking to Mishal Husain and the Queen of Jordan in Qatar today, reveals he sees himself as an “ex-politician”. Someone should tell the people of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…

Prime Mentalist Going Loco Down in Acapulco

Parliament has a full schedule this week, so of course Gordon is instead jetting off to a Mexican party town to address a conference on the financial crisis. He has clearly brought the Curse of Jonah with him. Just this week Acapulco has been battered by storms and heavy flooding, if that wasn’t enough CNN reports on its recent “economic devastation”. It is also reportedly set to go bankrupt. Hurricane Jonah strikes again…

Gordon Confronted About McBride

Gordon’s alive!

And he’s been spotted on the fringe…

…of the United Nations General Assembly:

Telling…

Where’s Gordon?

An MP sitting in the chamber texts to confirm the former Prime Minister is not present for a debate on a major international crisis that could ultimately result in British troops being committed to military action.

Gordon's Alive!

Perfectly timed as Ed goes for MPs with second jobs, the Prime Mentalist will speak in the House this evening for just the third time in the last year:

ADJOURNMENT DEBATE

Until 7.30pm or for half an hour (whichever is later) (Standing Order No. 9(7))

Dalgety Bay radiation: Mr Gordon Brown

Always an occasion…

Where’s Ed Balls?

When the going got tough, Gordon Brown would pull his favourite Macavity trick and disappear. It seems his prodigy Ed Balls has learnt exactly the same trick. There has been a lot of grumbling over the weekend in Labour circles that the Shadow Chancellor all but disappeared in the wake of the local election results and was silent on the airwaves, leaving the mop up to the likes of Chuka and Tom Watson. He managed to Tweet his congratulations to the new MP for South Shields, but apart from that has stuck to local issues in his seat and talking about Shepherd’s Pie. His absence has been noted by more loyal colleagues…

Gordon Slapped Down, Again

How refreshingly honest of the Prime Mentalist to admit that his abandoned constituents are “hard-pressed and increasingly angry”. Gordon’s last question about Dalgety Bay left him with egg on his face, and yesterday he was embarrassed again by Defence minister Andrew Robathan:

“I will explain why we dispute much of what the right hon.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Happy Birthday Gordon

Best wishes to the Prime Mentalist as he turns 62 today. Twelve months without speaking in Parliament, £6,000 and more on air fares at our expense, £300,000-a-month in cash that is definitely not paid to him, an attendance record to be ashamed of, landing his successor in it, not to mention the worst of omens for His Holiness.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Come Fly With Gordon

Last year the jet-setting Prime Mentalist came under fire for blowing taxpayers’ cash on flights from Scotland to London. Though most Scottish MPs take the train south of the border, Guido learns that over just a three-month period last summer Brown claimed almost £6,000 on expenses for air travel from Scotland to the capital.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Rare Sighting of Gordon at a Vote

Nice of the Prime Mentalist to show up for a vote concerning him keeping his own seat rather than, you know, speaking on the budget or a matter of national security.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

MPs to Debate "Great Gordon Brown Repeal Bill"

How good it was of the Prime Mentalist to turn up yesterday. Here is one he will no doubt want to skip however: the Great Gordon Brown Repeal bill is to be debated in Parliament next week. The proposal to reverse Labour’s scrapping of the 10p tax rate will be discussed by MPs at 2:30pm next Tuesday.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Gordon's Alive! Sign the Great Gordon Brown Repeal Bill Petition

Guido has always said the best way to provide a living wage to the lowest earners is to cut tax rather than raise the minimum wage. Campaigning Tory MP Rob Halfon has launched a new petition to reverse the last government’s scrapping of the 10p tax rate, aptly calling it the Great Gordon Brown Repeal Bill.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Gordon Brown Declares £300,000 in One Month Miliband Facing Calls to Sack Prime Mentalist

SACK-HIM

It has been a month to be proud of our globe-trotting former Prime Mentalist. Not only did he manage to make it a year since he last spoke in Parliament but he has also declared over £300,000 in December’s Register of Members’ Interests, all held by the Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown and not going into his own pocket, of course.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Why the Prime Mentalist is Speaking Today

Hold the front page: Gordon Brown is speaking in Parliament today. And why is the jet-setting Prime Mentalist gracing us with his presence? He’ll be speaking in a debate on Scottish independence, but don’t let that fool you. The only reason Gordon is speaking, today of all days, is that he somehow got wind of the huge celebrations planned tomorrow to mark the one year anniversary of the last time he spoke in the House.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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