WATCH: Ted Cruz Reads Green Eggs and Ham on Senate Floor

Great filibsuters of our time…

PM: 9 Journalists Stopped By Police at Tory Away Day

According to Tory MPs in the room, the Prime Minister just told them that nine journalists have been “stopped” by the police for trying to infiltrate their away day conference. The PM said:

“I don’t know if they were tasered”

The news was met with a resounding cheer. They have been warned to be careful who they speak to in bars and restaurants. There is an unconfirmed rumour doing the rounds that some of the journalists have been nicked. Developing…

iPoker Face

If you are one of the most senior US politicians attending a crucial hearing on potential military intervention in Syria, being snapped playing poker on your phone doesn’t look great. Well that’s what happened to John McCain last night:

Suppose the British equivalent would be Tom Harris watching Doctor Who on one of his many taxpayer-funded iPads…

Meanwhile, Stateside…

You’re welcome…

Fox News Plays Dude Looks Like a Lady During Manning Report

Superb trolling.

Labour Charging Members for Laughter

What’s the only thing worse than an email from the Labour Party? Well one that opens with “Your invitation to join Eddie Izzard and Jo Brand” must be pretty high up the list.  Labour are organising “Stand Up For Labour” – an evening of comedy with scant disregard for the feelings wheelchair bound members. The name reminded Guido of the last time he heard a politician utter those words, and given it’s a very slow Friday in the middle of August:

Apparently the event will “you rolling in the aisles with a great night of laughs for Labour.” A feeling many of us do not need to pay £30 for the daily pleasure.

Weiner Sexting Girl Shoots Celeb Porno

Continuing in the age old tradition of getting your kit off after being caught up in a political scandal, Sydney Leathers is not even bothering to wait until Anthony Weiner loses the Democratic primary in the race to be the next Mayor of New York. The latest girl involved in in his ongoing scandal fuelled slow motion car crash comeback has already managed to shoot a porn film:

“I’m Sydney Leathers. Anthony Weiner and I had a ‘sexting’ relationship for several months, and that came out in the press, so here I am!”

Christine Keeler, she ain’t…

Via Buzzfeed

Jeffrey Osborne

Story of the week from the Sun: Obama called Osborne Jeffrey three times at the G8 summit, confusing him with the soul singer:

20130620-085540.jpg

Come back Mitt, all is forgiven…

UPDATE:

20130620-085835.jpg

Via @FelicityMorse

The Barry and Dave Show

Everyone got something out of that Obama presser. Labour are pushing the President’s line that “I think the UK’s participation in the EU is an expression of its influence”, while No.10 will be cock-a-hoop with the endorsement of the […]

+ READ MORE +

AP Changes Password

One hacked tweet yesterday and the DOW plunges 100 points, only to regain it all in a matter of minutes. The AP twitter account has been restored this afternoon, the offending tweet deleted, and normality returns to the markets…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Boston Terror Suspect Hates Liverpool

If this is the genuine Twitter account of the Boston terror suspect…

https://twitter.com/Dzhokhar_/status/279990369813417985

…he’s really in trouble now.

UPDATE: Twitter provocateur Old Holborn has been in touch to say that he has had the police round after he trolled the […]

+ READ MORE +

Friday Caption Contest (Special Relationship Edition)

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Labour MP Jamie Reed:

“I apologise to every man, woman and child in this country who needs a Labour government.”

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