Strike For Drunk Tube Driver Says It All

tube strike

Another year, another tube strike on the cards. The RMT union are balloting members on Monday and could be launching industrial action as early as 17 February. This time the militants are upset that one their comrades was fired for turning up to work boozed up. All out… on the lash!

It seems as good a time as any to remind downtrodden London commuters that we don’t actually need drivers. By Guido’s arithmetic there are at least 63 fully automated subway train systems in world, including Dockland’s Light Railway which has been happily driver free since its construction.

So why isn’t the rest of tube network automated? Well, much of it kind of is; the Jubilee, Victoria and Central lines are all semi-autbuttonsomatic. The ‘drivers’ literally have to press two buttons at the same time once and the train drives itself. Not bad for £50,000 a year, and no wonder they think they can do it drunk.

The RMT’s stranglehold over the Underground is so great that even though Boris’ soon to be delivered 250 new trains are capable of running on auto, they will have drivers until the 2020s.

Robots don’t strike.

Public Sector Union Proposes Private Equity Survival Deal

Secret documents leaked from the Public and Commercial Services Union show that the militant public sector union is in crisis and flogging off their assets to the private equity fund Brockton Capital. Long overdue trade union reforms are finally working. The controversial “check off” process has been clamped down on by Francis Maude, and the civil service has been reduced by 21% since 2010, leaving the PCS with a massive funding crisis:

 “The union faces an exceptional, urgent situation. The NEC noted at its meeting in December that the union will experience a significant drop in subscription income in the coming period due to the combined effects of check off removal and membership loss due to job cuts in the civil service…”

Mark Serwotka and his NEC have come up with a genius solution: privatisation of their Clapham Junction HQ:

“Several bids were received of around £20 million. A sum of this order would provide would form the platform on which a reconfiguration of our operations can be made in the medium term to adjust the union to a new, ongoing, lower level of income.

 The NEC authorised the Senior Officers Committee to agree the sale of the Clapham Junction building if a suitable deal can be reached. A bid from Brockton Capital was received which was the highest at £25 million and also allows a year of rent free occupation of the building.

Altogether, the value of this bid is at least £2.5 million more than the next highest. Brockton plan a conversion of the site into a new office building rather than a residential scheme which the other bidders were planning.”

Having spent decades striking against privatisation and cuts, the PCS have privatised and cut…

Pickles’ Godly Christmas Card: No Festive Truce at DCLG

After it fell to Ed Davey and DECC to provide us with this year’s political correctness gone mad Crimbo-ban story, Eric Pickles’ office have responded in characteristically pugnacious form:

“It’s been a busy year. We reversed the policies of Edward Heath; defended the right to (office) party; exposed Gordon Brown’s Big Macbill; bunked in with Theresa May to save £220 million; shelved Labour councils’ plans to hike the cost of your weekly shop; extrapolated Labour’s Jammie Dodgers bill; sent in Commissioners to clean up Tower Hamlets; did our bit for ‘elf and safety by encouraging bonfires; turned the screw on the union pilgrims; told the last one out of Labour HQ to turn off the lights; marked Europe Day by celebrating the liberation of Jersey from the Nazis; and commemorated Britain’s Victoria Cross heroes from a century past.

In some parts of Whitehall, Christmas cards are passed round like Samizdat in Soviet Russia. Not here. Have a very Merry Christmas!”

Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you…

Welsh NHS Blows £1.5 Million on Pilgrims

Frankie Maude won the Guido award for most successful implementation of an Order-Order blog post into government policy on Tuesday, but unfortunately his Pilgrims reforms are not being embraced further afield. New figures show that in the last three years the Labour-run Welsh government has spent at over £1.5 million on NHS staff undertaking trade union activities. Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board alone spent over £500,000, this year blowing £184,231 on 2 full-time taxpayer funded trade union staff and 21-part time staff . Last year it had 37 trade union staff funded by the taxpayer, the year before it had 42. Elsewhere, the Abertawe Bro Morgannwg Health Board spent £210,000 a year for eight full time equivalent taxpayer funded trade union posts. Welsh Labour won’t win a Guido like that…

Lovers Re-Unite-ed: Red Len’s Late Night Re-Union

The last time Guido asked Len McCluskey about his relationship with Jennie Formby, Unite political director and the mother of his lovechild, he got very tetchy. Guido is sure, therefore, that there is nothing at all untoward about eyewitness reports of Jennie and Red Len gazing into each other’s eyes over multiple drinks in the Feather’s pub, SW1 late last night. It was cold and damp, but that did not stop the re-Unite-d lovers huddling outside in the cold, as Len the Lothario poured the mid-range Chardonnay, away from the prying eyes of other punters. He then bundled Jennie into a car so quickly, that our dozy half-cut super sleuth cocked up getting a snap of the pair.

Only a cynic would note that McCluskey fathered a child with Formby while he was still married to his first wife Ann, before moving into a union-funded London home with a second lover Paula Lace, with Jennie going on to marry another man. Lots of important Unite policy to discuss last night…

UPDATE: Another source says Len’s ex-lover Jenny was indeed at the pub and so was Len’s current girlfriend Karie Murphy. Our original source was clearly seeing double…

PCS Strike Over 1% Pay Rise Then Give Own Staff 1% Pay Rise

The tiresome PCS union is on strike again tomorrow, moaning that the 1% pay rise for public sector workers is unfair and demanding a 5% increase for their members instead. Since Guido enjoys nothing more than spending his afternoons reading through trade union financial reports, he thought he would share PCS’s plans for pay increases for their own staff. Lo and behold, PCS plan on awarding their staff, you guessed it, 1% pay increases for the years 2013-15:

Looks like PCS staff should join a trade union and go on strike!

Labour Selects Younger Woman Over Ageism Campaigner

Unite’s Political Director was among the first to toast the news that Liz McInnes had won Labour’s selection for the Heywood and Middleton by-election last night:

McInnes is being billed by her party as an “NHS worker” and “healthcare scientist”. She is the secretary of her local Unite branch and the chair of Unite’s Health Sector National Committee. Bizarrely her Twitter account disappeared as soon as she was announced as Labour’s candidate, as did her profile page on her local Labour website. Her publicly available Facebook page however still carries dozens of photos of her waving Unite flags at union marches, attending Unite conferences and wearing a “never kissed a Tory” t-shirt. As well as some, ahem, less safe for work snaps.

Already Liz is in robot candidate mode: “Only Labour can make Britain better off, putting hardworking families first with a plan to tackle the cost-of-living crisis.” She didn’t always stick to the party line however, condemning Miliband and Balls in a letter to the Guardian during the 2010 leadership contest: “If only one of the Eds were an Edwina, then we might have a real choice”. 55-year old Liz beat 56-year old age discrimination campaigner Miriam O’Reilly – ageism at the heart of the Labour Party…

Only 20 Pilgrims Left in Whitehall

Updated figures from the Cabinet Office appear to show that there are only 20 full time trade union ‘pilgrims’ still (not)working in government departments.

This is down from 200 civil servants in November 2011 who were paid not to work, but to instead undertake trade union activity in business hours.

Francis Maude is playing it as a £6 million saving per year.

Victory is almost in sight. Target zero.

Unions Not the Only Ones Who Need a Majority

Labour sources were last night unconcerned by the Tories’ announcement that “the next Conservative government” will introduce a 50% threshold for strikes. Frankie Maude has pledged to force unions to secure a “double majority” for strikes to be legal, a […]

+ READ MORE +

6 Inspiring Photos of the Mass Strikes Crippling Britain

Public sector workers are striking today, causing widespread chaos across the country as picket lines overflow with vast numbers taking industrial action:

Via @robdothutton

Via @jenwilliamsMEN

Via @tangent69

Via @unisoneastmids

Via @nickmcccps

Via @uniteccbc

The workers! United! Will never be […]

+ READ MORE +

Quote of the Day

Len McCluskey promises Ed a blank cheque and law breaking to fight the Tories…

“.. we will not let Labour fight for this programme with one hand tied behind its back. We will be up against the party of the […]

+ READ MORE +

Stay CLASS-y: Wife-Beater Tells Labour to Put Up Taxes

The Unite front group CLASS, despite their own gender failings, is devoted to furthering equal rights and women’s causes. So Guido […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Chuka has been trying to spin the Siemens row:

Chuka Umunna: It’s no different from Sky News quoting a business leader.

Adam Boulton: Except yours says ‘VOTE LABOUR’ at the bottom.

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE
MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT
PM Gets Last Word On Thursday PM Gets Last Word On Thursday
FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED
Labour: The Party of Benefits Labour: The Party of Benefits
GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION

EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT
Sky News Ballot Ballad Sky News Ballot Ballad
WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed
Mini Wars Mini Wars
OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS
Hell? Yes Hell? Yes
Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election) Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election)
Free Sun Advertising On the BBC Free Sun Advertising On the BBC
Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs
Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning
Feminist Jazz Hands Explained Feminist Jazz Hands Explained
WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE
Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage
MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH
WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line
MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE
ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS
Crick Gets Paxo’d Crick Gets Paxo’d
Cameron’s Secret A-List Cameron’s Secret A-List
Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark
What is Wrong With the Lobby? What is Wrong With the Lobby?
Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere” Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere”
GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA
DWP Press Office Wins the Internet DWP Press Office Wins the Internet