Michael Gove is getting a fair bit of stick in his tricky brief, but it’s not all bad news for the wily Education Secretary. According to his wife’s column in the Times the Member for Surrey Heath is in for Valentines treat. In an in-depth discussion about sexy underwear shopping to find something “flirty and colourful” for the larger breasted lady, Mrs Gove, AKA Sarah Vine, goes into almost Sally B levels of detail.

A quick peek at sexypantiesandnaughtyknickers.com, the designer of Mrs Gove’s choice, gives us pictures of the “Paradise“ set that she picked up. Sorry to ruin the surprise Secretary of State…

Westminster’s new couple Guido mentioned yesterday have topped Sky New’s most fanciable MPs poll. What coincidental timing eh. Watch out when reporting on Ms. Berger though. Guido hears she once threatened to sue Durham University’s student paper for describing her as buxom in a report about an NUS conference.

Girls:
1st: Luciana Berger
2nd equal: Harriet Harman & Caroline Flint
4th equal: Louise Bagshawe & Gloria De Piero
6th equal: Lynne Featherstone & Rushanara Ali
8th equal: Stella Creasy, Claire Perry, Priti Patel, Charlotte Leslie & Esther McVey

Boys:
1st equal: Zac Goldsmith & Chuka Umunna
3rd: Jeremy Hunt
4th: Andy Burnham
5th: Ed Balls
6th equal: David Miliband & Chris Kelly
8th equal: Dominic Raab & Nick Clegg
10th equal: John Denham, Jim Murphy & Tristram Hunt

As expected, the new intake dominated, but Guido is still trying to get his head around how Harriet Harman came joint second. Shudder…

The comments section has been rife for a couple of days with innuendo about vacuous pretty boy Chuka Umunna and ruthlessly mobile Luciana Berger. So Guido is a little annoyed to have been scooped by Nigel Nelson who broke the news that they are now a (power) couple. Apparently they have been secretly dating for a few months.

Though not his biggest fan, Guido has a word of warning for Chuka – watch your back. Ms. Berger is going places and knows exactly how to get what she wants. First it was dating Euan Blair in 2004 – what was it that first attracted this young ambitious party hack to a nerdy kid who can’t hold his beer?

Then there was her liaison with Siôn Simon that triggered an internal war in Labour after the then junior minister pulled strings to get the relative unknown a safe seat. She upset the locals and he was ditched for some other reason. And now the leader’s PPS. Ah to climb the greasy pole…

It’s that time of year again when Sky News draw up their top ten lists of the most fanciable MPs. There have been some rather strange winners in the past, but with the amount of new talent floating about the Labour and Tory benches, the winner must be from the rather well turned out new intake.

By conducting sophisticated media monitoring and having polled the newsroom, Guido’s shortlist would have to include opposing blonde bombshells Stella Creasy and Nicola Blackwood, Liz Truss, metal loving Louise Bagshaw and TV’s Esther McVey. There is stiff competition from the brunettes Priti Patel, Luciana “Heir to Blair” Berger, Caroline “Shagger” Nokes as well as Scottish roses Alison McGovern and Pam “Baby of the House” Nash. And of course there is always Gloria.

Proving you really can get by with just a pretty face is Chuka Umanna. Ever seen Zac and Tristrum Hunt in the same room? Matt Hancock sets bag-carrier hearts a fluttering, apparently. For those ladies looking to add a little mystery to your romance try Rory “Double O” Stewart, Chris Kelly is a man in touch with his emotional side and if lanky is your thing, there’s always Jacob Rees Mogg.

Add your suggestions below for Guido’s poll tomorrow…

It’s all hands to the deck as the HMS Big Society takes water below the bow. Luckily someone is tooled up, hoping to plug the hole:

What a coincidence that today after sustained attack on the BS, Mrs Cameron was out and about visiting a social breakdown charity in Reading. Apparently “it is very exciting to see a social action project so successfully bringing together different elements in the community to help young people struggling with mainstream education”. Activate the Sam Cam…

Guido is late to this, but quite a stunning resemblance:

As His Grace said, probably as close to the truth as the film will get…

There is no denying that Sally Bercow makes for hugely entertaining copy, but the odds against a challenge to her husband in the next year tightened last night. This morning’s papers were full of anonymous quotes from ministers In the Times there was one saying “There are limits but this goes too far. This is a fierce challenge to the dignity of Parliament. The sooner we are rid of the both of them, the better”. In the Mail another said the photo yesterday “brought Parliament into disrepute and was likely to hasten efforts to remove her husband as Speaker.”

The discontent is growing and coming from higher up the Tory ladder.

UPDATE: Another Tory backbencher comes forward describing the Bercow’s the “Marcoses of British politics.” Sally wasn’t too happy with on Radio 5 earlier.

Their tension in the House has been noted previously. First it was those passionate gazes held for an extra second across the despatch box in hot and heavy Culture Media and Sport sessions, but it seems Gloria just can’t get enough of Ed Vaizey. While Ed was busy chatting up/to the somewhat hostile MumsNet crowd for their lunchtime web interview, his shadow just couldn’t stay away, wading in with her own questions:

Ed’s reply was short and firm.

Money is moving on who is set to replace Andy Coulson. Current press secretary Gabby Bertin has just gone favourite. The internal promotion would be a safe option. Does someone in Downing Street know something?

With the yoof taking to the streets, it was only a matter of time before riot chic became the new look. Those sages at Vice Style have compiled some uprising suggestions:

(click to enlarge)

They can come and smash up Guido’s HQ anytime…