“B*llocks!” Tory MP’s Partner in Outburst at UKIP Challenger

It’s all kicking off in Thurrock, as Tory MP Jackie Doyle-Price’s partner boiled over and shouted “bollocks” at a UKIP councillor last night. Smug Tory councillor Mark Coxshall was condemned by UKIP as a “twerp” and ordered to “calm down” by the chair. Feeling the heat from defending his other half’s 92 majority under threat from UKIP candidate Tim Aker?

GUY NEWS SPECIAL: Free Amjad Bashir Protest Outside CCHQ

Amjad Bashir has not been seen since he was kidnapped by the Tory party. Amjad’s captors have released a hostage photo of him alongside their leader, but they are not allowing him any contact with the outside world. Protesters outside the captors’ HQ have been threatened by Tory party security. Bring back our Bashir…

May-nia: Faction Forming?

It’s been said before that Theresa May’s roadblock to the leadership is her lack of support within the party. There was no natural May-ite faction within the parliamentary party, but could that be about to change? Guido hears that the movements of “Alan Duncan, Bernard Jenkin and to a lesser extent Graham Brady” are being watched very closely. They’re said to be doing her bidding. Making up for lost time before the return of BoJo?

UPDATE: Alan Duncan gets in touch to say “absolute rubbish”.

Another Tory Old Fart Facing Local Deselection

West Country bore Ian Liddell-Grainger is having a right old ding-dong with local Tories down in Somerset, where his own blue council group have passed a vote of no confidence and accused him of “unethical manoeuvres” and “gratuitously derogatory and offensive comments” about their mates. They’re very upset with Queen Victoria’s great, great, great grandson:

  • Over a number of years, it stated, the MP “has made gratuitously derogatory and offensive comments about West Somerset Council, it’s leaders and some of its councillors and officers”
  • Being “proactive in undermining what the council’s been trying to achieve on behalf of its residents”
  • Treatment of “certain individuals has been immoral sometimes by bullying and making fun in public of those unable or unwilling to defend themselves”, sometimes to cover up for himself
  • The end of the document stated his “ill-informed, dishonourable, divisive and destructive behaviour… makes him unfit to be a member of parliament” and the West Somerset Council Conservative Group “does not trust him and lacks confidence in him”

The Association has full confidence… for now. 

100 Days to Go and Tories STILL have 96 Candidates to Select

Research shows that with 100 days to go, the Tories are still short a whopping 97 candidates. Almost a sixth of all seats…

Even if you subtract Northern Ireland, there are still 79 candidate-less seats with just a couple of months to go.

Number crunching by Peter Botting and Anthony Gearing can be found here.

There are some surprisingly marginal seats still looking for Tory representation…

UPDATE: Hold the front page… Guido is informed it’s actually 95 seats. CCHQ’s very own top spinner Richard Holden was recently selected in Preston…

UPDATE II: 5 unwinnable Scottish seats have also selected. Panic over…

UPDATE III: CCHQ claim it is only 40 odd seats that have no candidate. They have yet to send over the numbers and they seem to be missing from their own Conservatives.com website…

Peer: ISIS Gains “Entirely Due” to WhatsApp or Snapchat

In a moment of admirable honesty while scrutinising the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill, former defence secretary Tom King admitted that while he’s not a tweeter and he does not know about WhatsApp and Snapchat, he is certain that “the terrorists and jihadists do”:

So certain is Lord King of the terrorists’ prowess with WhatsApp and Snapchat, that he believes the reason for ISIL’s advance across Iraq and Syria was entirely down to the teenage sexting apps:

“It includes the use of things that not all your Lordships—that certainly includes me—are masters of. I am not a tweeter. We have Facebook and Twitter. Somebody tried to explain WhatsApp to me; somebody else tried to explain Snapchat. I do not know about them, but it is absolutely clear that the terrorists and jihadists do. The understanding is that part of the reason for ISIL’s amazing advance across Syria and into Iraq was that their communications were so good and the way they kept together was entirely due to one or other of the last two systems that I mentioned, which they handled with great intelligence.”

 This message will self destruct in 10, 9, 8….

Plans to Unseat Jane “Plain Pack” Ellison Underway

There is a growing Tory backlash against Health minister Jane Ellison over her plain pack ambush. “Four letter word, starts in S and ends in T” was the ringing endorsement of one colleague, “she is not a Conservative” claims another, whilst another simply added “she’s a wrong ‘un”. One Tory MP even claims:

“It challenges the imagination that such a grubby little measure could come from members of a party who only 25 years ago waged the moral battle of ideas against Communism heralding the freedom of individuals to choose. Now they have morphed from noble liberators to little nannies.”

The Bill will pass with support of Labour and the Liberal Democrats, though Guido hears that Ellison may not have the last laugh. Not only will there be a huge rebellion on the right, plans for a very well funded campaign to unseat her in her marginal south-west London seat of Battersea are already afoot, with a freedom-loving candidate being sought. Applications on the back of a fag packet…

Put It Away, Chancellor!

Also, unclear why he seems to be sniffing a giant bottle of piss…

Via @CharlotteGay92 and today’s Western Daily Press

Plain Pack Fireworks Expected at Cabinet
Osborne, May & Hammond Confront Hunt Over Pack Backtrack

Word reaches Guido that there is serious consternation amongst a number of senior Tories over the way in which last week’s surprise announcement about plain packaging was squeezed out like an awkward fart. Usually reliable sources suggest Osborne is set […]

Tories Gag Bashir: “I’m Not Allowed to Give a Statement”

Guido has spoken with Amjad Bashir by telephone this afternoon to ask him for a response to the slew of stories that have emerged about him over the last 48 hours. An extremely nervous sounding MEP refused to comment, […]

Bashir ‘Lied’ About Times Illegal Immigrants Exposé

Yet more evidence emerges today that the Tories’ star defector Amjad Bashir has serious questions to answer regarding his honesty around his company’s employment of illegal workers. Legal documents seen by Guido accuse Bashir of lying in a Press Complaints […]

Amjad Bashir Accused of Lying Over Respect Party Links
+ Told Tories He Has ‘Never Had Anything to Do With Them’
+ Respect: Application Form and 5 Witnesses Prove He is Lying
+ Also Claimed He Was a Labour Member in 80s 

Amjad Bashir has been accused of lying about his links to the Respect Party after evidence emerged tonight apparently disproving his claims to have never had anything to do with the party. Earlier today, George Galloway accused Bashir of being […]



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Quote of the Day

Tim Shipman to Adam Boulton on the TV debates…

“If Cameron gets in a car to go to the debate, Lynton Crosby will stage a car crash.”

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