Bercow’s £172 Expenses Bill to Drive 0.7 Miles

MPs have been getting it in the neck this week for 9p mileage claims, but this is something to really get peeved about. Some top digging by Press Association has found John Bercow billed the taxpayer £172 to be chauffeur-driven to a conference at Carlton House Terrace, just 0.7 miles from parliament. And that’s not all:

  • Bercow used an official car to travel to Canterbury to see Justin Welby enthroned in 2013 – at a cost of £524
  • He travelled 1.5 miles to dinner at the Dorchester Hotel, billing £144
  • Somehow managed to blow £168 travelling from King’s Cross to Speaker’s House
  • Billed £367 to be driven to the University of Bedfordshire, where he gave a lecture on reforming parliament and warn about the consequences of the expenses scandal
  • Kept a chauffeur-driven car waiting while he attended a memorial service for Malcolm Wicks in Croydon, costing £289 for five hours

He is the “reforming Speaker”…

Keith Vaz Fingered For £100 Claim

It’s been a busy week for Keith Vaz, first accused of abusing his position and now embroiled in another mysterious scandal over his election expenses. His local paper report that Vaz spent £100 to use the premises on Uppingham Road, Leicester – his own taxpayer-funded constituency office. Vaz’s election agent Piara Singh Clair explains: “we did it because we needed a room and it would have been expensive to hire another one. It was a nominal sum”, bizarrely adding that no money had actually changed hands despite it being declared as an expense. If no money was actually spent, why was it falsely declared to the Electoral Commission? Curiouser and curiouser…

‘Paedo’ MP’s Late Night Toilet Lurking

A youthful male parliamentary source gets in touch with a strange tale about the MP at the centre of Sunday’s paedophile allegations:

“He is always weird in the toilets. His office is surrounded by Tory MPs’ offices and their male researchers.

Several days each week he goes into the loo on [LOCATION REDACTED] to put on his aftershave.

He has said “hello young man” to me in there at least twice.

Once my mate was in there late at night and [NAME REDACTED] said to him “Now aren’t you a good boy for staying late”.

If I wasn’t a 6ft guy, I might have felt a bit intimidated at [NAME REDACTED] saying “hello young man” to me whilst entering the toilet. I was leaving as he came in so we were pretty close. This happened twice.”

Dark.

Sepp Blatter Money Shot

What an image:

Mystery of EU’s £250,000 Belgium ‘Aid’ Bung

The sinister sounding European Development Fund is the EU’s aid arm, splurging €22.7 billion a year on “aid for development cooperation in Africa, the Caribbean, and Pacific countries”. Or so they claim.

Analysis by the Taxpayers’ Alliance reveals that the fund approved three “grants” of €198,464, €86,860 and €45,873 to that deeply deprived third world country… Belgium.

What’s more, the three Belgian aid projects, totalling almost a quarter of a million Euros, are categorised as “confidential”. The fund refuses to disclose any further information about what the money was spent on.

It’s all a bit Sepp Blatter…

Brooks ‘Likes’ Another Mystery Social Media Blonde

You would have thought old Brooks Newmark would have learned his lesson about mysterious blondes on social media. So it’s a little surprising to see what he has been up to on LinkedIn:

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude” says Brooks’ seductive model friend. Indeed…

Tight Tory’s £4.50 Remembrance Expenses Shocker

Earlier this year, Guido revealed Labour MP Sarah Champion’s £17 expenses claim for a poppy wreath.

Then top Miliband aide John Cruddas was caught putting funeral flowers on the taxpayers’ tab.

Now the Tories are at it too.

Wealthy Stephen Hammond rakes in £67,000 a year as the MP for Wimbledon. He also owns a luxury £500,000 second home in Portugal, complete with a swimming pool.

That didn’t stop the rotund miser from filing a £4.50 expenses claim on Remembrance Sunday last year for “mileage” to drive, in his own car, to “two Remembrance services” within his constituency.

This is what greedy Hammond said about MPs’ pay in the last parliament:

“An MP salary should be linked to a public sector job of similar responsibility such as a GP. Official figures I have been shown put the average salary for a GP at over £105,000.”

At least then maybe he’d be able to find the cash to honour our heroes from his own pocket.

Police Investigate Sexy Shower Scene MP

It’s been a busy first few weeks for new Plymouth MP Johnny Mercer. First he put his wife on the public payroll, then hit the headlines for lathering up topless in a shower gel advert, and now he is under investigation by the police. That escalated quickly.

The preened poser has lawyered up after bitter opponents called the cops in over his election expenditure. Mercer mysteriously told supporters he needed “some manpower, and a decent dose of Commando Spirit” on “the night-time of 6/7 May”.

The next day, polling day, his defeated Labour opponent Alison Seabeck claims she “suddenly woke up with every bridge and every lamppost covered in posters and fliers”, claiming this “does influence people significantly and it is improper”.

Mercer himself paid for the £1,642 clean up out of his own pocket and insists:

“I am confident I haven’t broken the law and this allegation is being dealt with by my lawyers.”

Well, he looked clean in the advert…

Tory MP’s House Husband Subsidised By Taxpayer

ansell

Continuing Guido’s series of troughing new MPs who are already employing family members on the public payroll, meet the new Tory MP for Eastbourne.

At her selection, Caroline Ansell revealed that her husband Nick would be giving up his full […]

+ READ MORE +

IDS Should Face Benefit Sanctions

welfare

Awkward, via PA:

Iain Duncan Smith had his official credit card suspended after running up more than £1,000 in expenses debts, it can be revealed.

The Work and Pensions Secretary was among more a dozen MPs subject to action

[…]

+ READ MORE +

New MP Puts Secretary He’s Shagging on Highest Pay Grade

Yesterday Guido revealed the roll call of shame of new MPs boarding the gravy train by giving cushy jobs to family members.

Most impressive of the bunch is Gerald Jones, top left, the new Labour Honourable Member for Merthyr Tydfil […]

+ READ MORE +

New MPs Already Have Their Snouts in the Trough

They have barely been in their jobs for eight weeks, but our new Honourable Members are already learning how to milk the system.

In addition to their imminent public sector pay freeze-busting 10% pay rise, these new MPs have already […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Ken Clarke tells the Ben Fellows trial:

“The idea that I would go strolling off in order to grope a man in an office is highly unlikely.”

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