Monday, December 15, 2014

Going, Going… Wrong

“Good evening everybody and welcome to Sotheby’s,” said Tory co-chairman Lord Feldman at a fundraising auction last week… At Christie’s.

The real joke was the fact a signed copy of Cameron’s flop of an immigration speech went for £45,000.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Newmark Confirms Comeback is Off

Brooks Newmark has conceded defeat over the plan to stand again in Braintree. Speaking to his local paper, Newmark claims “I am extremely flattered by the lovely messages of support from members of the public and my local party asking me to reconsider my decision to step down at the next election,” adding: “However, I have decided to stick with my original decision”. As Guido revealed earlier this week, Brooks had been “wavering”, but any attempt by him to stand again was blocked by high command. The Tories say the selection process in the seat will now resume “in the near future”. In the New Year… when local associations can have shortlists thrust upon them by CCHQ.

Monday, December 8, 2014

BREAKING: UKIP Suspend General Secretary Roger Bird
Read Party Statement on “Allegations of Impropriety” in Full

A UKIP spokesman says:

“The UK Independence Party has announced that it suspended its General Secretary Roger Bird on the 7th of December following allegations of impropriety.

Shortly after a claim came to light about the conduct of Mr Bird with regard to candidate selection, the UK Independence Party took action swiftly and decisively, including steps involving external Human Resources consultants, as well as following due process and the Party’s Constitution to the letter.

Unfortunately, UKIP has had to suspend Mr Bird pending a full investigation into allegations made against him. The party has acted swiftly and decisively and will not tolerate impropriety of any kind amongst its staff.”

Looks like they are expecting some headlines of the ornithological variety tomorrow…

Exclusive: Tories Block Newmark Comeback

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the selection process in Braintree to replace disgraced dick pic king Brooks Newmark has been cancelled amid speculation he is planning the unlikeliest of comebacks. Brooks was spotted holding secret talks with his local association after concerns about the quality of the other candidates. Despite him promising post-parliament penance working for charity, he saw his chance. Tory sources confirm from Westminster that Brooks had been “wavering”, however, Guido understands any attempt by him to stand again has been blocked by high command: “It’s not going to happen”. Just as Guido was preparing to stand as the Pyjama Party candidate…

Friday, December 5, 2014

Breaking: Carol Mills DID Mislead Senate Over Spying Scandal

John Bercow’s choice for Commons clerk is facing disgrace Down Under after a committee found she provided them with “contradictory” and “misleading” information. A scathing report from the Aussie parliament’s Privileges Committee today condemns Carol Mills for “a serious breach of accountability and probity”, finding her testimony over when exactly she knew CCTV cameras had been used to investigate leaks to be untrue.

“The submission … documents cast considerable doubt upon the evidence given by the secretary… The committee has not been able to reconcile the evidence given at the estimates hearing with the submission and documents which Department of Parliamentary Services (DPS) has subsequently provided. There should be no doubt … that the committee considers [this] … to be a serious breach of accountability and probity.”

Mills has gone to ground and is refusing to give comment to the Australian media. ABC reports her future is now “uncertain” and “under a cloud”. Today’s findings will mean her future does not lie in Westminster…

UPDATE: Senator John Faulkner, in speech given in the Senate yesterday described the department run by Carol Mills in these terms:

A parliamentary department should be an exemplar. But DPS is not.

The findings of this damning report, that the Secretary:

  •  has misled Senate Committees, and
  • has given contradictory evidence, and
  • has overseen the unauthorised use of CCTV,

reinforces my view – publicly stated – that DPS is the worst run government department in the Commonwealth of Australia.

A not so glowing reference for Bercow’s choice of Clerk…

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Dorrell Exits Through Revolving Door

When Stephen Dorrell stood down as chairman of the Health select committee back in June, Guido wondered:

“Why would [he] not want to keep the coveted post, as well as the extra pay, for [his] last year in the Commons? Nothing to do, Guido is sure, with the fact that anti-corruption Cabinet Office rules state that politicians have to spend a year ‘cooling off’ before they a can go to work in the lucrative private sector in an area they have acquired expert knowledge in through their position in public office. Any six-figure consultancy contracts and directorships they take up after the election would more than compensate them for their temporary short-term loss this year. A coincidence, no doubt.”

Sure as night follows day, Dorrell today announced he will be quitting parliament at the election to take a job as a health consultant with KPMG. Giving him time for a nice summer holiday before his cooling off period expires and he can start putting all that experience to good use. Kerching!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

RED ON RED:
Labour CLP Secretary Quits Over “Sociopath” Candidate

The secretary of Enfield Southgate Constituency Labour Party will sensationally resign tonight, claiming senior local Labour figures believe the party’s own candidate in Enfield North “exhibits all the hallmarks of a sociopath”. In an explosive letter to his chairman seen by Guido, Ben Maloney demands the party take action against come-back seeking, expense cheating, former MP Joan Ryan’s “attempts to undermine democracy in Enfield”, accusing her of being “a cancer at the heart of Enfield Labour Party”. As reported by Guido at the time, Maloney alleges Ryan and fellow Labour candidate Ibrahim Dogus tried to stitch up a selection by “pack[ing] Southgate CLP’s AGM with hordes of questionable “members”, many of which had been recruited by her and Dogus less than 24 hours”. On his way out the door Maloney tells Guido:

“Joan will stop at nothing to get her way politically, and this led to one concerned senior Labour Party figure recently telling me that “Joan exhibits all the hallmarks of a sociopath”. That’s unsurprising given she has a track record of meeting packing that would make Lutfur Rahman and his cronies in Tower Hamlets blush.”

When approached this afternoon, Ryan told Guido: “I have nothing to say”Perhaps Enfield Labour will at its AGM tonight…

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Women of Twitter React to Newmark “Rape” Comments

Brooks Newmark has compared being exposed as a sex text pest to being “mentally raped”. Yet another stunning example of the Women2Win founder’s record on women’s issues:

He always had a way with words…

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Labour Candidate Up Half a Million After Expenses Scandal
Shamed Ex-MP Creams Off Huge Taxpayer-Subsidised Windfall

Labour’s candidate in Enfield North is in line for a taxpayer-subsidised windfall of more than half a million pounds, after ‘doing a Maria Miller’. Joan Ryan, who held the seat until she was booted out in disgrace in 2010, claimed tens of thousands of pounds in mortgage interest payments on her Enfield second home between 2004 and 2008 under her Additional Cost Allowance. She also famously claimed £4,500 doing up the property, including redecorating the living room. The semi-detached Enfield house was bought in 1999 for £249,000. Properties on the same road now typically go for over £750,000, some half-a-million more. The taxpayer subsidised Ryan’s mortgage payments while the price of her home was sky-rocketing, leaving the shamed ex-MP in line to cream the profit.

That’s not all. In 2008, Ryan then flipped her first and second home, designating a flat in Kennington as her new second home. Expenses records show that Ryan went on to claim for second home mortgage interest payments well into 2009. The palatial apartment at Imperial Court was bought for £192,000 in 2004. It is now estimated to be worth over £400,000. Generously subsidised by the people she now hopes will re-elect her…

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Labour Expenses Piggy’s Wikipedia Edited From Parliament

Back in 2012 the Bureau of Investigative Journalism exposed former Labour MP Joan Ryan for deleting references to her expenses scandal shame from her Wikipedia page. She was caught red-handed and ‘fessed up, and details of her flipping her second home were returned to her entry. This week they mysteriously went missing again. 

Wikipedia’s “revisions” analysis shows that yesterday the section “Involvement in the expenses scandal” was removed from Ryan’s page. Curiously, the changes were made anonymously from an IP address located within the Houses of Parliament. This is what the mystery deleter didn’t want you to see:

“In May 2009, it was reported that Ryan had claimed more than £4,500 under the Additional Costs Allowance for work on a house she had designated as her second home. In February 2010, based on an audit report looking into the United Kingdom parliamentary expenses scandal, Ryan was asked to repay £5,121 mortgage interest.”

Whoever they are, they certainly seem to have a strong opinion on the subject:

Could an old friend of Joan be trying to clean up her record ahead of her ambitious attempt to stand for parliament again?

H/T @parliamentedits

UPDATE: A parliamentary source gets in touch to report that none other than Joan Ryan visited the Commons yesterday, the day her page was edited from a parliament computer. Curiouser and curiouser…


Seen Elsewhere

Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Fallon’s Lawyer Loathing | Quentin Letts
Speaker Bercow Defeated | BBC
Nigel Farage is Bigger Than Jesus | Speccie
Year of Sleaze | City AM


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