PMQs Bout: Not the Greatest, Not a Thriller

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It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong for the PM. It turns out lining up every global leader, trade envoy and financier from Canary Wharf to Chongqing to warn the serfs to vote Remain on threat of nuclear apocalypse wasn’t actually the best idea. Who’d have thought it? People voting in a referendum on global elites don’t want to listen to those same global elites telling them which way to vote. How very bizarre!

Luckily for the Leave camp, master political strategist David Cameron is so comprehensively divorced from any semblance of normality that he doesn’t realise this, and will continue treating the British people like benighted little peasants who need to sit down and listen to what the clever dignitaries and technocrats tell them. In fact, unwittingly, the red-faced ex-Buller boy is one of the Leave campaign’s single biggest assets.

And so onto proceedings. As is apparently the fashion these days, the Leader of the Opposition kicked things off by offering his solemn condolences to the fallen celebrities of the past week. Today that honour was bestowed upon Muhammad Ali, eulogised by Corbyn as “the greatest in his chosen field” (that “chosen field” being battering another man’s skull in until he loses consciousness). Those initially shocked at the Labour leader’s seeming admiration for Ali’s proficiency in bloodsports will have been reassured when he went on to praise his “courageous campaigning on civil rights, anti-racism and peace”. Mr. Corbyn noticeably skipped over the fact that Ali was a firm believer that a woman’s place was at home and avowedly against interracial relationships (for which he deemed death to be a suitable punishment). On top of that he wasn’t too keen on the Jews, although I’m not sure that would bother Jeremy all that much. Continue reading

PM Laughs Off Leadership Challenge

The PM batted off a question from the SNP’s Stephen Gethins at PMQs: “The time to reflect on your mistakes is clearly when you’re close to the end of your time in office, so that doesn’t apply.” The third time Cameron’s leadership post-Brexit has been called into question over the last week. Chants of “four more years” from Tory loyalists rung out…

Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q3 Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley)

Q4 Alan Brown (Kilmarnock and Loudoun)

Q5 Mark Spencer (Sherwood)

Q6 Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland)

Q7 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q8 Matthew Pennycook (Greenwich and Woolwich)

Q9 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q10 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q11 Craig Mackinlay (South Thanet)

Q12 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q13 Stephen Kinnock (Aberavon)

Q14 Neil Carmichael (Stroud)

Q15 Stephen Gethins (North East Fife)

Comments in the comments please…

Ozbot versus Androgenoid

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David Cameron couldn’t make PMQs today having had a busy week buying a new motor for his missus. The vehicle in question was a clapped out 2004 Nissan Micra with 90,000 miles on the clock – in Tory blue of course – for which he shelled out the princely sum of £1,500 (two seconds on AutoTrader would have revealed similar mileage models regularly go for half that price).

Unfortunately for Dave his millionaire spouse was not impressed with her millionaire husband buying her a beat up old Nissan to potter around Chipping Norton in. In a rage she summarily banished him to the dog house, and so the PM fled to Japan to put as much distance between him and the old dear as possible under the pretence of attending vital G7 meetings. To be honest I can’t understand what she’s so upset about, sure the Nissan’s interior is nothing special, but it’s certainly not the most useless and overvalued old banger SamCam’s had to sit on.

Continue reading

Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q2 Stephen Pound (Ealing North)

Q3 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland)

Q4 Cat Smith (Lancaster and Fleetwood)

Q5 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q6 Philip Davies (Shipley)

Q7 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q8 Julie Elliott (Sunderland Central)

Q9 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Q10 Ruth Cadbury (Brentford and Isleworth)

Q11 Nusrat Ghani (Wealden)

Q12 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q13 Barbara Keeley (Worsley and Eccles South)

Q14 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q15 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley)

Comments in the comments please…

A Nigerian, an Afghan and Englishman Walk into an Anti-Corruption Summit

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David Cameron had good cause to enter the Chamber even more rosy cheeked than usual today. Yesterday video was leaked of him chin-wagging with the Queen at a Buckingham Palace Reception. “We’ve got some leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries coming to Britain”, he said ironically, going on to highlight “Nigeria and Afghanistan, possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world”. At this point the Archbishop of Canterbury felt impelled to interject, soberly reminding the PM that “this particular President is actually not corrupt. He’s trying very hard”. That put an immediate stop to the joking, and all stood silent, no doubt thinking “Good God lighten up man, no need to get on your high horse about it”. That’s the problem with Archbishops you see, they can get a bit pious. Luckily Speaker Bercow was on hand to sarcastically inquire, “They are coming at their own expense, I would assume?” The PM chuckled, and banter was resumed.

This is the real David Cameron. Droll, sardonic, and not afraid to make a politically incorrect joke that winds up an Archbishop. It’s a completely different figure to the artificial one we see every week in PMQs: his stab at the “socially liberal nice guy” persona which resembles not so much a man as a string of focus groups welded together into a vaguely humanoid shape. Continue reading

Tim Farron Met With Wall of Groans

The name “Tim Farron” is met with a wall of groans from the Tory benches. Cameron swatted him away with minimal effort…

Who is Asking the Questions

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Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q2 Victoria Prentis (Banbury)

Q3 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North)

Q4 Tom Pursglove (Corby) 

Q5 Jess Phillips (Birmingham, Yardley)

Q6 Keir Starmer (Holborn and St Pancras)

Q7 Roger Mullin (Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath) 

Q8 Henry Smith (Crawley)

Q9 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle) 

Q10 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q11 Chris Law (Dundee West) 

Q12 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green) 

Q13 Craig Williams (Cardiff North)

Q14 Mr Alan Mak (Havant)

Q15 Ms Karen Buck (Westminster North)

Comments in the comments…

Corbyn Withstands Heavy Shelling From PM

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To say Mr. Corbyn’s Labour party is on a downward spiral would rather overestimate the elegance of its descent.

In fact, if things keep going the way they are presently then one can only presume next week will reveal that John McDonnell is actually a 94 year old former Waffen-SS operative in disguise and Shabana Mahmood chucks cats into bins for japes.[…] Read the rest

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Corbyn Refuses to Withdraw Hamas “Friends” Comment 4 Times

Four times the PM gave Corbyn the chance to withdraw his comments saying Hamas and Hezbollah are his friends. Four times the Labour leader refused. At one point Corbyn was visibly shaken and unsure how to respond…[…] Read the rest

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Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Martyn Day (Linlithgow and East Falkirk)

Q2 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q3 Anne Marie Morris (Newton Abbot)

Q4 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q5 Mary Robinson (Cheadle)

Q6 Rachael Maskell (York Central)

Q7 Mr Nigel Evans (Ribble Valley)

Q8 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q9 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q10 Stephen Kinnock (Aberavon)

Q11 Margaret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q12 Dr Julian Lewis (New Forest East)

Q13 Mr Graham Allen (Nottingham North)

Q14 Greg Mulholland (Leeds North West)

Comments in the comments please…[…] Read the rest

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Rocket Man, Cameron and Farage

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Oh how the mighty have fallen. Just a few short days ago the Prime Minister was sharing a platform with the leader of the Free World. They opined solemnly on lofty notions of freedom and international cooperation. On Churchill and Martin Luther King.[…] Read the rest

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Farage Responds to “Poncey” Jibe

Oxford English Dictionary: poncey, poncy, adj., derogatory slang (chiefly Brit.). Affected, pretentious, self-consciously refined or superior; overly fancy or elaborate; effeminate, homosexual.

Guido has just spoken to Nige in a boozer in Wales:

“The PM’s basically using ‘poncey’ in the sense of an affectation.

[…] Read the rest

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PM: “Extraordinary” Naz Shah Still Has Labour Whip

Dave says she is guilty of “racism” and must be suspended…[…] Read the rest

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Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Byron Davies (Gower)

Q3 Amanda Milling (Cannock Chase)

Q4 Ben Howlett (Bath)

Q5 Tom Tugendhat (Tonbridge and Malling)

Q6 Drew Hendry (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey)

Q7 Suella Fernandes (Fareham)

Q8 Mike Wood (Dudley South)

Q9 John Stevenson (Carlisle)

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q11 Mr Ben Bradshaw (Exeter)

Q12 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q13 Liz McInnes (Heywood and Middleton)

Q14 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Comments in the comments please…[…] Read the rest

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Chancellor Rasputin Lurks in the Shadows

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And so today saw the Chancellor grace us with his first PMQs appearance for almost a month. Such reticence from the man is common these days. George Osborne is becoming increasingly Rasputin-eqsue. In the shadows he lurks, wielding power over the Tsar, dripping poison in his ear and making outlandish predictions for the future.[…] Read the rest

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