Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Ed’s PMQs Figures Out By 134%

Yesterday Ed botched his figures, today he’s botched his sums. During his comfort zone PMQs on the NHS, Miliband bleated:

“Let me give him the figures for his target: before his reorganisation, the number of people waiting more than four hours was 353,000. After his reorganisation, that has risen to 939,000, an increase of 300%. Is that better or worse?”

A Guido co-conspirator points out that 939,000 is, to be precise, 266% of 353,000.

That is not a 266% increase though, it’s an increase of 166%, which is 134% points away from 300%.

Even when they’re ignoring the economy, Labour still can’t get their sums right…

‘Red Princes’ Gets Box Office Treatment

It has been two years since Guido applied the ‘Red Princes‘ neologism to Labour’s nepotistic sons, who are  seeking to inherit power from their political parents. Sorry Bercow, but someone has been reading…

“We’ve got son of Blair, son of Straw, son of Prescott, son of Dromey. When you take out the Red Princes, you’ll find that 80% of their candidates are union sponsored. They bought the candidates, they bought the policies, they bought the leader, we must never let them near the country.”

Is Joe Dromey going to get his mum to complain again?

PMQs LIVE: The Public Like It Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Q2 Ms Diane Abbott (Hackney North and Stoke Newington) 

Q3 Mr John Baron (Basildon and Billericay) 

Q4 Robert Halfon (Harlow) 

Q5 Jack Dromey (Birmingham, Erdington)

Q6 Ian Austin (Dudley North) 

Q7 Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East) 

Q8 Jeremy Corbyn (Islington North) 

Q9 Sir Tony Baldry (Banbury) 

Q10 Greg Mulholland (Leeds North West) 

Q11 Susan Elan Jones (Clwyd South) 

Q12 Jim Shannon (Strangford)

Q13 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q14 Michael Ellis (Northampton North) 

Q15 Mr Dennis Skinner (Bolsover) 

Comments in the comments please…

Mumsnet Idea Lacks Fun

The yummy-mummy lobby are throwing their prams at the toys this morning, with Mumsnet campaigning to turn our democracy into an online coffee morning. 40,000 keyboard warriors have signed a petition demanding a ban on PMQs, aka the only bit of Commons action that anyone actually watches. Tory MPs are grumbling and smell a lefty stich up. “I’m proud to be on the side of Winston Churchill,” says Tory heckler Alec Shelbrooke, “rather than with those who want to take the passion out of politics.” The Tories know exactly who this over-feminisation of politics will help: “PMQs is about proof of leadership, that’s why so many people watch it. Bercow is rescuing Miliband everytime he interrupts.” Presumably if the politicians don’t do as they’re told by the mums, they will be sent to bed with no tea.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: Labour’s Criminals in Downing Street

Ed Miliband achieved the impossible today. He finished his J’Accuse an even more diminished leader than when he began.

Weak, weak, weak! The Tories chanted. “I’ll tell you what’s weak,” Ed said weakly, “it’s failing to stand up for the right thing.”

Cameron’s definition of weak was more detailed: “Attacking Rupert Murdoch, posing with a copy of the Sun and then apologising for it! That’s weak!”

And then, of course, Alastair Campbell, Jo Moore and Damian McBride.

Ed’s lead-line, his headline, his top line was: “You brought a criminal into Downing Street.”

It’s not a bad line, in fact. It’s nasty. It resonates at a childhood level of right and wrong. And it’s sinister.

But then, but then . . . Criminals in Downing Street.

Ed himself has an adviser publicly accused of Class A drug use. His predecessors, as Cameron pointed out, have a variety of real victims to their account. From David Kelly to the Paddington rail crash survivors to Conservative MPs to half a million Iraqis…

(more…)

Labour Sorry for Hospitalised MP Wife Attack

“Jake Berry, absent” cried the Speaker as the Tory MP for Rossendale and Darwen, whose name was on the Order Paper for PMQs, failed to appear when called to ask his question. Cue Labour whips piling in and living to regret it about three minutes later:

They have since sent him a full and frank apology. Awkward.

WATCH: Cameron v Miliband PMQs Clash in Full

Miliband’s Kinnock/Westland Moment

You can see the very moment that Ed realised he lost today’s potentially game changing moment in the House. A confident Cameron, armed with the Leveson report quotes, got his apology out early, before Ed could call for it. Just look at his face in reaction to the PM’s gag about Ed standing up to Murdoch, posing with the Sun and ultimately weakly apologising. Video to follow…

UPDATE: Video of the moment Ed knew he had lost it:

UPDATE II: In GIF form:

PMQs LIVE: One Rogue Editor Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Damian Collins (Folkestone and Hythe)

Q2 Jake Berry (Rossendale and Darwen) 

Q3 Mr Nigel Evans (Ribble Valley)

Q4 Mr Ronnie Campbell (Blyth Valley)

Q5 Mark Durkan (Foyle) 

Q6 Chris Bryant (Rhondda)

Q7 Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch) 

Q8 David Simpson (Upper Bann) 

Q9 Guy Opperman (Hexham)

Q10 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle) 

Q11 Annette Brooke (Mid Dorset and North Poole)

Q12 Mr David Winnick (Walsall North) 

Q13 Mr Gerry Sutcliffe (Bradford South) 

Q14 Yasmin Qureshi (Bolton South East) 

Comments in the comments please…

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: Impeachment Edition

In a voice created by God to call for the impeachment of a former prime minister, Peter Tapsell called for the impeachment of Tony Blair. To bring the wretch to account for misleading the House of Commons.

Many Labour MPs want to impeach Ed Miliband for misleading the Labour party. Or, as now, for failing to lead it at all.

Today he stood up to the despatch box with a luxurious choice of Conservative crimes and misdemeanours to go on. Passport mayhem, euro-uselessness, cabinet carnage, dying children (there must be some somewhere).

(more…)


Seen Elsewhere

Whitehall Bosses Ban Christmas | Sun
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Fallon’s Lawyer Loathing | Quentin Letts
Speaker Bercow Defeated | BBC
Nigel Farage is Bigger Than Jesus | Speccie


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Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”


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