Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Byron Davies (Gower)

Q3 Amanda Milling (Cannock Chase)

Q4 Ben Howlett (Bath)

Q5 Tom Tugendhat (Tonbridge and Malling)

Q6 Drew Hendry (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey)

Q7 Suella Fernandes (Fareham)

Q8 Mike Wood (Dudley South)

Q9 John Stevenson (Carlisle)

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q11 Mr Ben Bradshaw (Exeter)

Q12 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q13 Liz McInnes (Heywood and Middleton)

Q14 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Comments in the comments please…

Chancellor Rasputin Lurks in the Shadows

gallery-guido

And so today saw the Chancellor grace us with his first PMQs appearance for almost a month. Such reticence from the man is common these days. George Osborne is becoming increasingly Rasputin-eqsue. In the shadows he lurks, wielding power over the Tsar, dripping poison in his ear and making outlandish predictions for the future. “I’ll eradicate the debt and cut the deficit” he’ll whisper, “each family will be four thousand three hundred pounds worse off if we leave” he’ll hiss. And when his untruths and false promises are questioned, he retreats from view, leaving the ruler to lumber in on his behalf to placate the angry and ignored. Of course any man who knows his Russian history knows how this story ends. Old Rasputin was poisoned, shot, bludgeoned, and drowned by those angered by his influence, with the entire saga only further weakening the regime he was so bound up with and hastening its collapse. One wonders how long is till Osborne, like the Russian, washes up on the banks of the Thames, peppered with bullet holes but still faintly breathing, sighing “long… term… economic… plan”.

Onto proceedings. Nigel Adams got things underway by praising the “dignity and grace” of her Maj ahead of the big Nine O tomorrow, a day that promised to be “a proper knees up” at the very least. The PM reiterated the Selby MP’s sentiments, before laying a trap for his opposite number. “I know the whole country and the whole house”, Cameron innocently opined, “will want to join me in saying, Long may she reign o’er us”. Corbyn wouldn’t play ball. “Thank you Mr. Speaker”, he replied plainly, “I am also looking forward to wishing her a happy birthday tomorrow, notably missing out any celebration of the continuation of her reign. In other words, have a good one Liz, but don’t have too many more.

Continue reading

Cameron’s Brutal Attack on Khan

At PMQs Cameron listed the nine times Sadiq Khan has shared a platform with Suliman Gani, as reported on Guido. Corbyn shouted “disgraceful” and Labour MPs howled “racist“. As the PM says, the point is not that Khan once shared a stage with an extremist once by accident, he did it over and over again…

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q2 Geraint Davies (Swansea West)

Q3 Mr Christopher Chope (Christchurch)

Q4 Sue Hayman (Workington)

Q5 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q6 Kevin Foster (Torbay)

Q7 Matt Warman (Boston and Skegness)

Q8 John Spellar (Warley)

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East)

Q10 Christopher Pincher (Tamworth)

Q11 Stella Creasy (Walthamstow)

Q12 Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland)

Q13 Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch)

Q14 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Comments in the comments please…

SKETCH: Unnamed Prime Minister in Slippery Threesome

gallery-guido

“All that rebranding, all that time and all that effort and what was the point. What was the bloody point. The single biggest endeavour of my career has been to rebrand the Party, and for what? For nothing. The Left still think I’m a heartless, tax-dodging Tory bastard. I hugged huskies in the Arctic. The Arctic for Christ’s sake. I don’t even like the cold, or huskies for that matter. They’re terrifying. I almost froze my todger off up there detoxifying this party. And that’s just the physical ordeals. What about the countless personal embarrassments I endured? Having to pick a football team and then suffer the indignity of forgetting it in front of everyone like a malfunctioning robot, or ride a pedal bike to work everyday for a year in £3.99 polyester tracksuit bottoms, or touring the most Chlamydia infested recesses of the North East encouraging people to embrace the scallywag Asbos that loiter there. I even flew easyJet. But what good did it do me? I’m being hammered from the Left and screwed from the Right. In fact I’ve got more slippery pricks trying to do me in than there are in Elton’s paddling pool. When I leave this prison of a job I’m going to go full Blair and get a yacht and I’m going to sit in it in my pants watching Top Gear. And not the BBC version either, the proper one, with Clarkson in it. Oh yeah and I’m going to murder Stelios for all the easyJet flights I’ve had to sit through before I hop on my learjet to St. Tropez to drink Bollinger out of the bottle and eat caviar by the kilogram. And wear white tie and tails, oh yes”.

Continue reading

Dave Thinks He’ll Oversee Brexit Negotiations

This is optimistic…

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills)

Q2 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton)

Q3 Mr Alistair Carmichael (Orkney and Shetland)

Q4 Stephen Timms (East Ham)

Q5 Jenny Chapman (Darlington)

Q6 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle)

Q7 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q8 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire)

Q9 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central)

Q10 Neil Carmichael (Stroud)

Q11 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q12 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q13 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q14 Catherine West (Hornsey and Wood Green)

Q15 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire)

Comments in the comments please…

SKETCH: Cameron’s Theatre, Corbyn’s Reality

gallery-guido

And so after a week punctuated by dissent and disquiet, it began. First the formalities commemorating Brussels, giving the Prime Minister a chance to do his serious face by furrowing his brow and talking slowly, taking great care to enunciate every word. In response the assembled expenses frauds, sex pests and careerists solemnly opined “hear, hear” in deep and mournful tones, with Newport MP Peter Bottomley going on to meditate profoundly on the grand themes of “hope” and “hate” in the first question of the day.

Commiserations proffered, now onwards to the heart of the matter. The Labour leader began by hitting Cameron on disability benefits, citing a letter from one Adrian of outer Timbuktu (or at least he might as well have been because Mr. Corbyn didn’t deign to expand on the whereabouts of his mysterious pen-pal). “Could the Prime Minister do what the Chancellor failed to do yesterday, and apologise to those that went through such anguish and upset during the threat of a cut in their personal independence payments?” he asked.

Continue reading

Corbyn Yells “Disgraceful” at Cameron For Raising Anti-Semitism

This is a terrible look for Corbyn. As Cameron raised the importance of tackling anti-Semitism, the Labour leader furiously and repeatedly shouted “disgraceful” at the PM. Read Guido’s story that reignited Labour’s race row here[…]

+ READ MORE +

John Woodcock’s Deleted PMQs Summary

You can probably call that “hostile”…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Sir Peter Bottomley (Worthing West)

Q2 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green)

Q3 Mr Alistair Carmichael (Orkney and Shetland)

Q4 Stuart Blair Donaldson (West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine)

Q5 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q6 David T. C. Davies (Monmouth)

Q7 Amanda Milling (Cannock Chase)

Q8 Mr Peter Bone (Wellingborough)

Q9 Michael Tomlinson (Mid Dorset and North Poole)

Q10 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q11 Richard Arkless (Dumfries and Galloway)

Q12 Rushanara Ali (Bethnal Green and Bow)

Q13 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle)

Q14 Ms Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh (Ochil and South Perthshire)

Q15 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

+ READ MORE +

See Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Karen Lumley (Redditch)

Q2 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield)

Q3 Byron Davies (Gower)

Q4 Ian C. Lucas (Wrexham) 

Q5 Dr James Davies (Vale of Clwyd) 

Q6 Kevin Barron (Rother Valley) 

Q7 Richard Graham (Gloucester) 

Q8 Ronnie Cowan (Inverclyde) 

Q9 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q10 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire) 

Q11 Kevin Hollinrake (Thirsk and Malton) 

Q12 Andrea Jenkyns (Morley and Outwood) 

Q13 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock) 

Q14 Steve Double (St Austell and Newquay)

Q15 Sir Simon Burns (Chelmsford) 

Comments in the comments…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hundred, Not Out

gallery-guido

So Jeremy Corbyn reached his century. Today he asked his hundredth PMQ question. It feels like so many more, doesn’t it? The awkward shift from local radio phone-in host (“Claire from Nuneaton has a question…”) to floundering supply teacher (“It’s not funny!”) to what Nye Bevan would have called a “desiccated calculating machine” with a muddled spewing out of obscure data.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Karin Smyth (Bristol South)

Q2 Richard Burgon (Leeds East)

Q3 Julie Elliott (Sunderland Central)

Q4 Catherine McKinnell (Newcastle upon Tyne North)

Q5 Mr Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham, Perry Barr)

Q6 Dr Roberta Blackman-Woods (City of Durham)

Q7 James Berry (Kingston and Surbiton)

Q8 Mark Spencer (Sherwood)

Q9 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle)

Q10 Anne Marie Morris (Newton Abbot)

Q11 Martyn Day (Linlithgow and East Falkirk)

Q12 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire)

Q13 Jack Dromey (Birmingham, Erdington)

Q14 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge)

Q15 James Cartlidge (South Suffolk)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Corbyn’s Naked Pole Dancing*

gallery-guido

Today we discovered the difference between a threat and a promise.

For years we’ve been promised that a calmer, more serious House during Prime Minister’s Questions would be good for the whole country. Less ya-boo and more speaking up for constituents with real problems.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Patricia Gibson (North Ayrshire and Arran)

Q2 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble)

Q3 David Mowat (Warrington South)

Q4 Neil Coyle (Bermondsey and Old Southwark

Q5 Bill Esterson (Sefton Central)

Q6 Andy McDonald (Middlesbrough)

Q7 Alberto Costa (South Leicestershire)

Q8 Mr Bernard Jenkin (Harwich and North Essex)

Q9 Amanda Milling (Cannock Chase)

Q10 Rachael Maskell (York Central)

Q11 Richard Benyon (Newbury)

Q12 Bill Wiggin (North Herefordshire)

Q13 Stuart Andrew (Pudsey)

Q14 Amanda Solloway (Derby North)

Q15 Dr Phillip Lee (Bracknell)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn at his leadership launch:

“Labour is stronger.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON MATTHEW ELLIOTT ON WHY LEAVE WON
OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW OSBORNE GIVEN “SH*T” ROOM WITH NO VIEW
5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES 5,000,000 SIGNATURES: FEW POLICY CHANGES
CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT CORBYNISTAS USED CODE TO HIDE CASH-FOR-VOTES PLOT
First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke First Lady Michelle Obama Carpool Karaoke
PMQ’s Sketch PMQ’s Sketch
How to Reach Westminster Politicians How to Reach Westminster Politicians
OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY OWEN SMITH’S 999 EMERGENCY
MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE MELANIA BORROWS FROM MICHELLE
MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON MAY: I WOULD PRESS NUCLEAR BUTTON
New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside New Uber Rival Tries to Get Unions Onside
SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL SMITH’S £200 BILION “NEW DEAL” PLEDGE BUSTED BY MCDONNELL
CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA CONGRATULATIONS MR AND MRS UMUNNA
UKIP SEEKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF “OILY” SMITH UKIP SEEKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF “OILY” SMITH
FALLON WELCHES ON £1,000 PIERS MORGAN BET FALLON WELCHES ON £1,000 PIERS MORGAN BET
OWEN SMITH: IT WOULD BE “TEMPTING” TO BLOCK BREXIT OWEN SMITH: IT WOULD BE “TEMPTING” TO BLOCK BREXIT
NEW JUNIOR MINISTER APPOINTMENTS NEW JUNIOR MINISTER APPOINTMENTS
Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger
Sun Names Elton John Sun Names Elton John
LABOUR MPS MAKE COMPLETE ANKARAS OF THEMSELVES LABOUR MPS MAKE COMPLETE ANKARAS OF THEMSELVES