PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn Goes From Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken

simon

The stare isn’t going so well suddenly. It never worked, it only seemed to, with the Tories falling back in embarrassment. Corbyn read this as bullies being struck with silent wonder at the sight of proper, grown-up politics.

No, it was the reaction of an audience seeing an actor forgetting his lines, or a juggler dropping the ball, or a magician letting the cards fall out of his sleeve.

Tories weren’t able to barrack and wince at the same time.

But they’ve learnt. They have evolved. Today, they overcame their instinctive delicacy and resumed normal service.

And Corbyn went from Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken. Starting to speak, then stopping. Glaring, but getting confused by laughter and not-glaring. Glancing at the Speaker. No help there. Starting to speak again and having to continue through Tories shushing each other.

This chicken dies in the end.

Continue reading

No Marx For Dave’s Commie Gag

“Look at his appointments. His media adviser is a Stalinist. His new policy adviser is a Trotskyist. And his economic adviser is a communist. If he’s trying to move the Labour Party to the left, I’d give him full Marx.”

Incidentally, who is the communist economics adviser?

UPDATE:  Not the full Marx after all:

PMQs: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q2 Fiona Mactaggart (Slough) 

Q3 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q4 Mr David Anderson (Blaydon) 

Q5 Dr James Davies (Vale of Clwyd) 

Q6 Damian Collins (Folkestone and Hythe)

Q7 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South) 

Q8 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North) 

Q9 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock) 

Q10 John Nicolson (East Dunbartonshire) 

Q11 Paul Flynn (Newport West) 

Q12 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed)

Q13 Kevin Hollinrake (Thirsk and Malton) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn’s Chicken Death Stare

simon

People say he’s not doing too badly, and he’s not doing too badly for an old man in a pub, for a clapped-out author wearying a school assembly, for a hero of the previous revolution but one (second class).

He’s obviously pleased with his “death stare”. When Tories barrack him (and they really haven’t started) he stops and stares at them in a way that chickens stop and stare at things. Eventually circumstances change and the chicken goes back to its pecking. The whips have told Tories not to be too nasty to Corbyn so they quieten down. He mistakes correlation for causation.

The poor old piece of poultry, he’s not just second-rate but secondhand, reusing the failed tropes of failed leaders for the past 15 years. “This is Prime Minister’s QUESTIONS”, and I’ve asked the same question five times, and (quoting one sort of Tory) “Why did he say that?”, and (quoting another sort) “Where was she wrong?”

Continue reading

Will Corbyn Wear Poppy at PMQs?

The PM has been wearing a poppy for a week, though Corbyn has yet to be spotted with one. He was ambiguous when asked about wearing a poppy at first, Labour HQ later clarified that he would. The Royal British Legion say it is appropriate to wear a poppy from the launch date of the poppy appeal, which this year was 22 October. All eyes on Jezza’s lapel…

UPDATE: Here he is:

PMQs Live: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock)

Q2 David Morris (Morecambe and Lunesdale) 

Q3 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West)

Q4 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q5 Kirsty Blackman (Aberdeen North) 

Q6 Stephen Phillips (Sleaford and North Hykeham) 

Q7 Michelle Donelan (Chippenham) 

Q8 Graham Evans (Weaver Vale) 

Q9 Amanda Solloway (Derby North)

Q10 Christopher Pincher (Tamworth) 

Q11 Ian C. Lucas (Wrexham) 

Q12 Mark Durkan (Foyle) 

Q13 Mr Andrew Turner (Isle of Wight) 

Q14 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield)

Q15 Sir Simon Burns (Chelmsford) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn’s Vogue Levels of Virtue-Signalling

He’s doing it deliberately, isn’t he? The twisted tie and splayed collar and that ghaaaaastly coat and shirt combination. The vanity of being above appearances. The Labour leader is manifesting Vogue levels of virtue-signalling in his dress.

Then all that rubbish about the “very sad news” of having a United Nations committee coming over to investigate the human rights of the disabled. It was “deeply embarrassing”, he said. Cameron classified that as left-wing cack and that proper Britons couldn’t give two flying fingers for a UN committee (I translate). The miserablisation of Labour continues.

Still, Corbyn’s better than Miliband. And better than the next leader (as long that’s Eddie Izzard).

Continue reading

Bercow Bans PMQ on Green Taxes

The Speaker’s bad temper continued at PMQs, where he bizarrely banned Tory MP Chris Philp from asking, entirely reasonably, if green taxes have contributed to the steel industry crisis. Curiously, Bercow ruled this had “nothing to do with government policy” and prevented the PM from answering:

Except, it demonstrably does. The Telegraph, Mail and even the Wall Street Journal have all run articles this week about how green taxes have impacted on the steel industry. The PM was unimpressed. That’s two weeks in a row that Cameron been prevented from landing a blow by the Speaker…

PMQs Live: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Susan Elan Jones 

Q2 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q3 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central) 

Q4 Anne McLaughlin (Glasgow North East) 

Q5 Andrea Jenkyns (Morley and Outwood) 

Q6 Mr David Jones (Clwyd West) 

Q7 […]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs SKETCH: Cameron Went Easy on Corbyn

He was twice as good as last time. Let’s not argue about it. He’s in his late sixties. At this rate of improvement Jeremy Corbyn will be dead before he wins an election. Britain’s first posthumous prime minister – a […]

+ READ MORE +

Best of Corbyn at PMQs

Here are Corbyn’s PMQs highlights as we saw a sassier side to the Labour leader:

Thug life edition…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Cameron v Bercow: “Hold on a Second!”

Bercow was determined not to let Corbyn’s calm and well-behaved PMQs reduce his telly time. The PM threw out his arms in protest and cried “Hold on a second!” as the Speaker interrputed his best line of the […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Tim Farron is asked by GQ how he will be remembered:

“I won’t be. So there’s no point in worrying about how you’d like to be remembered at all.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers
EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL” CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL”
BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS 9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS
CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA
Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie” Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie”
CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT
HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS
CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK
TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION
Comments & Readership Comments & Readership
MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN