Order of the OTT: Laurie Penny Hams It Up

Guido has not awarded an Order of the OTT for a while. This entry however, up on the New Statesman website this morning, was just too good to pass up:

Readers can have one guess who the author is…

Laurie Penny’s steaming hot take goes on to suggest that an intoxicated David Cameron’s alleged porcine molestation is somehow symbolic of the class struggle power dynamic, her psycho-analysis concluding that the future Prime Minister’s penetrated pig is a metaphor for the country he would go on to run:

“Power and money are accessed through the back door, or, as it may be, the pig’s mouth, and as with any kink, the eroticism isn’t about the act, but about what the act symbolises. It’s about humiliation, about control, about power play. What might the young swain have been thinking as he unzipped? What went through his head? If you ask me, I’ll bet he was thinking: Soon. Someday soon, I will do this to the whole bloody country.”

Talk about hamming it up…

Climate Change Crowd Board Refugee Bandwagon

climate chnage isis

The Guardian and New Statesman have uncovered the true cause of the migrant crisis. Nope, forget war, ISIS and Assad, it’s… climate change!

A piece in this week’s Staggers – which has received a robust response from critics – evokes the image of 3 year old Aylan Kurdi to crudely warn that failure to reach an agreement at the upcoming Paris climate summit will lead to “many more bodies being washed up on our beaches”:

“That image, which few of us will ever completely erase from our mind, will no doubt prompt David Cameron to make a renewed gesture… In Paris this December the world will try to reach agreement on combating the dangerous climate change that Syria and North Africa are already experiencing. Without agreement there, we in the rich world will have to get used to our trains being disrupted, our borders controls being breached and many more bodies being washed up on our beaches.”

Today the Guardian join in, publishing an editorial by Friends of the Earth CEO Craig Bennett, also using the picture to claim things will get worse if we fail to tackle climate change:

“We’re all human, and so it’s perhaps not surprising that it takes a single photograph and an individual’s story to shake a society, all too belatedly, into glimpsing at one horrific aspect of Europe’s refugee crisis and demanding action…. People from across the political spectrum have come together in the last week to demand a much stronger response from David Cameron to the refugee crisis, and rightly so. But if the government continues to move backwards on climate change, then we should get ready for a much bigger refugee crisis before very long.”

Stay classy…

Owen Jones: Then and Now

Owen Jones, 4 May 2015: “Russell Brand has endorsed Labour – and the Tories should be worried.”

Owen Jones, 4 August 2015: “The Right are mocking Jeremy Corbyn because they fear him.”

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…

New Statesman NFI’d to Labour Leadership Hustings

Labour have announced which news organisations have been invited to chair each of their regional leadership hustings, which are taking place in addition to the ones on TV and radio:

Anushka Asthana, Sky News

David Clegg, Daily Record

Matthew d’Ancona, The Guardian

Isabel Hardman, The Spectator

Gaby Hinsliff, Political Editor, Grazia

Chris Lloyd, Northern Echo

Mary Riddell, Daily Telegraph

Tim Shipman, The Sunday Times

Jim Waterson, Buzzfeed UK

Paul Waugh, HuffingtonPost UK

The Speccie and the Telegraph get one each, even Buzzfeed are on the list. Yet the New Statesman, Labour’s in house magazine, are nowhere to be seen. Was it something they said?

Top Staggers Labour Leadership Insight

Great insight there from ‘Miliband’s favourite journalist’.

Liz Kendall remains a Shadow Health Minister while she runs against Burnham…

Staggers Endorses Miliband With Savage Take Down

“His five years as opposition leader have revealed severe limitations and strategic weaknesses. He has never succeeded in inspiring the electorate and has struggled to define himself. His narrow rhetorical and ideological focus on political economy has left him unable to reach the aspirational voters required to build a broad electoral coalition (see Jason Cowley’s report on Harlow in this week’s issue). Finally, even after the SNP’s victory in the 2011 Scottish Parliament election, which we predicted, he remained complacent over Labour’s decline in Scotland, where he is even less popular than David Cameron. It is the surge in support for the SNP, which has positioned itself to the left of Labour, that has definitively ended Mr Miliband’s hopes of winning an absolute majority. Should he become prime minister, he will now almost certainly be reliant on the support of a large nationalist bloc to govern.”

Ouch!

This from the magazine that sacked Dan Hodges for being too anti-Ed…

Staggers Website in Turkish Hookers Hack

staggers hack

For the second time in a week the New Statesman website has been hacked and is redirecting to a Turkish escort site.

They must have annoyed somebody…

Salmond Orders Pink, Causes Stink

The former First Minister sat down to be interviewed by the Staggers‘ Jason Cowley and ordered a bottle of pink champagne, which reminded Guido of this picture. Meanwhile, Salmond also appears to have shot down any hope the Tories had on relying on SNP numbers post May 7:

“The Tories would have to go straight effectively for a vote of confidence, usually the Queen’s Speech, although it could be otherwise, of course, and we’d be voting against. So if Labour joins us in that pledge, then that’s Cameron locked out.”

Salmond confirmed the SNP would instead do a deal with Labour:

“I think… probable would be vote-by-vote [support for Labour], and possible would be confidence and supply. This arrangement is . . . a narrow range of policies, and a narrow range of supported votes, obviously: that’s confidence and supply. And then in turn, of course, there has to be an agreed number of policies . . . not like the full coalition, where you take responsibility for every dot and comma, but a narrow range of policies, in return for which you make it possible for the government to function – over a period of time.”

Shouldn’t he run that by Nicola Sturgeon first…

Staggering Political Balance From Sky News

To discuss PMQs on Sky News, a wide range of hacks were put on air. In the lefty corner we have the New Statesman’s Harry Lambert and on the centre left we have Stephen Bush from the, er, New Statesman.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Ed Miliband Polling Lower Than Gordon Brown

sun-yougov

YouGov have done some drilling down into the public’s expectations and perceptions for The Sunthe numbers are terrible for Ed Miliband. With six months to election day a mere 19% think he is up to the job of being Prime Minister.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Mehdi's Forced Marriage Muddle

Here is Mehdi Hasan sparring with Douglas Murray on Question Time back in 2011, on the sensitive subject of forced marriages. Mehdi could not have been clearer where he stood on the issue:

“Four years later he [David Cameron] turns up in Munich of all places to tell us we need this muscular liberalism and to tell us, like Douglas, about forced marriages!

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Two Cartoons for Miliband’s Loo Wall

A belter of a conference cartoon special from Peter Brookes on the front page of this week’s Speccie. Guido would like to put in a bid for the original.

By delicious coincidence, this week’s New Statesman also goes the Wallace and Gromit theme on its cover.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Vanity Projects of the World Unite

Like two drunks staggering home propping each other up, loss-making magazines the New Statesman and New Republic have agreed a transatlantic tie-up. New Republic is owned by Facebook co-founder Chris Hughes, worth an estimated $700 million, so he is only slightly richer than Staggers‘ owner Mike Danson, worth some £300 million.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Welcome to the New Statesman's Britain

The New Statesman are having lots of fun spoofing this morning’s Sun front page, but they appear to have forgotten to do a mock up of their own cover. Guido decided to draw on the magazine’s chequered history and current editorial output to produce this:

Guido’s would probably look quite similar to the Sun’s.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Berger’s Climate Change Whopper

“David Cameron hasn’t spoken about climate change for three years” screeches the headline of Luciana Berger’s particularly weak piece for the Staggers today. Just the one problem: she is talking complete rubbish. Obviously a quick Google of “David Cameron climate change” was beyond poor old Luciana, so Guido thought he would help her out.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Yacht’s Next For Multi-Millionaire Staggers Tycoon

Looks like there is still some money left over for £300 million Mike Danson, despite all the cash loaned to the New Statesman interest free and with no repayment date. Sky’s Mark Kleinman reports that Danson is in talks for a deal with a potential new sister publication for the Staggers: Boat International, “the world’s leading publisher in the super yacht industry”.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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