Bald Boris Update

The clearest sign yet BoJo is going bald:

Maybe he’s been pulling his hair out over the latest Boris bus blunder.

Boris Comes Out Against Free School Meals Expansion
Mayor Rules Out Third Term in City Hall

Speaking to Guido after his speech at the Institute of Directors this morning, the Mayor of London publicly criticised plans to massively expand free school meals for children:

“I tell you, it would be very easy to say, I think.. I think that it’s real you know errr I, what I think is there should be compulsion to eat the school meal, but I am in no means against getting parents who can pay for to pay for it.”

He added, “I have no problem with the concept of dinner money.” When Guido pushed him on his position, asking directly whether rich parents should be subsidised, the Mayor replied: “No well… Look I’m sure the government have a very good reason for doing it.” Quite what that is remains a mystery to many Tories…

Coincidently, the Boris ruled out running for a third term in City Hall:

“I can rule that out, I can rule everything out”.

But then, that’s what Ken said…

Diane Abbott Talks Up London Mayor Bid

As if Gorgeous George was not bad enough, Diane Abbott is flirting with a run at London mayor. She has been coy about the possibility before, today telling Progress why she would be a choice candidate. For some reason she is against Labour’s plan for a primary, insisting “it doesn’t make any sense”. Obviously not because of how it would affect her bid.

“I wouldn’t rule it out… [London is] much more interested in and much more positive about diversity and multiculturalism. The political consequences of austerity [will be key]. Londoners don’t want a party hack. Big cities never want a party hack. They want someone who’s independent, who will stand up for them.”

Divide and rule…

George Galloway “Exploring” Bid for Mayor of London
“I Can Win, Yeah”

That well known Londoner George Galloway is preparing a bid for Mayor of London in 2016. In an interview with the Artist Taxi Driver, the MP for Bradford coughed:

“I have a committee exploring it now. It’s a shrunken field – Boris Johnson won’t be running. Ken Linvingstone won’t be running, I would never have run against Ken Livingstone as he’s a very old friend of mine. Labour will run Ken Livingstone minus, the Tories will field Boris Johnson minus… I can win, yeah.”

Guido is not sure Boris would fancy a job swap…

WATCH: Loony Unite Militants Jump on Boris’ Car

Boris’ driver delicately negotiates a Unite ambush over in Stanford-le-Hope. Could have gone much worse…

Via Your Thurrock.

WATCH: Boris Blows Crosby’s Cover

Cornered about his old campaign manager, Boris recounted Lynton Crosby’s advice to stop talking about airports earlier:

In an interview about airports, naturally.

Bald Boris: Mayor of London Losing Locks

As Guido’s Sun column revealed yesterday, the mop-topped Mayor of London is going bald. Brand Boris is reliant on his giant blond bouffant, yet his appearance on last week’s Question Time revealed a growing bald patch at the back and a deliberate effort to comb his locks forward. It was all a bit Donald Trump:

The age old rule in British politics is that bald men in the television age do not beat rivals with a full head of hair. Think Tony Blair versus William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard, nor can we forget Maggie versus Kinnock, in every election the slap-head loses. Could Boris be a modern day version of Samson? Better get shift that leadership campaign up a gear…

 

Bad Boris Plays the Long Game

In his continued quest to be all things to all people, the Mayor has come out the side of the crooked in the Standard:

“What I feel … this is going to get me into trouble, but I do feel a certain amount of sympathy with all these poor MPs who end up thinking they are having some jovial lunch in which they are hysterically exaggerating their ability to do things. As if an MP would tell you whether he is actually any use or knows anyone or if there is any point in his existence, honestly.”

Hmmm…

He also dealt with a little person-al matter at his 2020 Vision launch earlier. In his own special way. Discussing the fact that London’s population has risen by at least 380,000 since he took over, the Mayor added “no thanks to me”.

He also quipped that he would not be the one to cut the ribbon on Crossrail 2 as Mayor,  “or anything else”.

Cue hilarity in the room…

Quotes via Pippa Crearer

Loyal Coulson Speaks
Dave on Boris: “He’ll want my job next”

Andy Coulson has surfaced for the first time since his Downing Street walk out in 2011 to dispense some pearls of wisdom for those he left behind. Writing for July’s GQ, he gives “his ten-point masterplan for saving David […]

+ READ MORE +

Court of Appeal Clanger

This paragraph from an online case report contains a striking miss by the person whose job it was to anonymise the Court of Appeal’s recent judgement regarding the paternity of a child born out of wedlock to someone “in high […]

+ READ MORE +

Boris on a Horse

Yeah, why not.

Via Tom Cheal

UPDATE:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

WATCH: Maggie Told Boris to Get Rid of Ken

“There’s a man called Ken Livingstone, I think he has something to do with London. You must get rid of him.”

Mission accomplished.

Via LBC.

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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