Simon Heffer ‘Quits’ Mail

His Saturday column has been gone for a while he has been writing less and less regularly for the paper, and has been increasingly Ukippy for some time.

His pro-Tory Budget piece was not enough to save him.

Mail sources say he has resigned, officially.

There is some speculation he is off to the Sunday Telegraph.

Paging Peter Oborne, paging Peter Oborne…

Geordie Not Sure

The battle of egos over at the Mail has reached new heights: literally.

After a newsroom land-grab by MailOnline of desk space used by the Mail on Sunday a couple of months ago, sources reveal that Geordie Greig threw his toys out of the pram. The one time prince-over-the-water is getting tetchy.

By way of consolation for this Sudetenland-like annexing, Mail on Sunday editor Greig and his deputy were given new professionally interior-decorated offices.

Special permission was sought to raise the ceiling: specifically so it was higher than Dacre’s wood panelled bat-cave. And a Smeg fridge was thrown in for good measure. 

Daily Mail’s Pink Bus Exclusive Remains Exclusive

Guido suspects he got the same tip off as the Mail’s “stilleto sharp and terrifyingly well-informed” diarist Sebastian Shakespeare last week. It claimed that Labour’s pink van was on the road illegally, having failed to be correctly registered with the DVLA. Obviously Guido was excited to have a chance to take a pop at long time enemy Harman for breaking the law. Alas the story fell apart after one Google search and a phone call to the vehicle regulator. Checks that the Mail’s Shakeseare evidently failed to make…

The claim was that Labour had not updated the Vehicle Licensing Authority to the fact that their white Ford Transit had now been sprayed pink:

“Harriet Harman’s women-only Barbie battle bus has already been derided as ‘sexist’, a ‘gimmick’ and ‘patronising’ to female voters. But now the hapless van is the source of fresh controversy as it emerges that it is in breach of vehicle licensing regulations. According to records held by the Driver Vehicle and Licensing Agency (DVLA), the four-ton, 16-seater Ford Transit van is white, not pink — nor, indeed, ‘cerise’ or ‘magenta’, as Labour MPs Gloria De Piero and Harman have variously claimed. A change in the colour of a vehicle should be registered with the DVLA and failure to do so is a serious offence.  ‘Any failure to inform the DVLA about changing the colour of the vehicle can be punishable with a £1,000 fine,’ confirms a DVLA spokesman.”

This ran in the Mail on Saturday, yet last Thursday the DVLA website stated very clearly that the van was “Pink”. Guido understands that this change was made earlier in the year. The story is a dud yet the Mail still ran it in full.

Did they even type the number plate into the DVLA website, or just take the email tip-off hook, line and sinker?

“Terrifyingly well-informed…”

Battered and Bruised: Murphy Slammed Over Irn Bru-Gate

These are the headlines taxpayer-funded Irn-Bru quaffer Jim Murphy is waking up to North of the border this morning. The Scottish Sun says he is “battered and Bruised” after a day of ridicule, the Daily Record accuses him of “drinking Irn-Bru on the taxpayer”, while the Herald dubs the expenses claim “Girders-gate”. The editorial in the Scottish Daily Mail is damning:

“It is clear Labour have an electoral mountain to climb but they would find it much easier if they stopped cutting their own ropes and sliding all the way to the bottom time and time again… The light at the end of the tunnel may be no more than a burglar’s torch. For embarrassingly, Mr Murphy’s Westminster expenses show he indented the taxpayer for the princely sum of £1.30 for two cans of Irn-Bru. And while his expenses claim is hardly as egregious as the duck houses and moats fellow members of the Commons – flipping houses for all they were worth to line their pockets with our money – awarded themselves not so long ago, it is damaging all the same. It is a gift to his political opponents, given how adroit they are on social media. Twitter immediately filled with images of people sporting cans of Irn-Bru while proudly declaring they had bought them with their own hard-earned money… This makes it all the more disappointing that he has been foolish enough to let a piffling claim for soft drinks become a stick with which his enemies can beat him.”

Pay it back, Jim…

Leon Brittan Buried in Accordance With Jewish Customs

The Telegraph, Mirror, Metro and Mail have all followed up Exaro’s top scoop that Leon Brittan has been buried in an unmarked grave for fear it would be vandalised. The MailOnline headline has however since been changed with no explanation, though the URL remains the same:

Why the subtle change? As is being pointed out this morning, and as the new Mail copy states: “In accordance with Jewish tradition, the former home secretary is said to have been interred in an simple plot without flowers in Golders Green Cemetery”.

Wonder what other assumptions Exaro have failed to check…

Brand ‘Threw Curry Sauce’ at Daily Mail Journalist… Then Tweeted His Mobile Number to 8.7 Million Followers

How does Russell Brand respond to a journalist asking him a question? By tweeting his mobile number to his 8.7 million followers. Guido has obscured the image, but Brand knows Daily Mail reporter Neil Sears’ phone will be ringing off the hook with nutters bombarding him with calls. Was there an ulterior motive? Guido is told Brand and Sears had a run in last week when the reporter doorstepped him to give him right of reply on a story he was planning on running. Brand then allegedly responded by throwing curry sauce all over him…

MailOnline Breaks Judge’s Libor Gagging Order

“Banker admits rate rigging – but you can’t know where he works” reports MailOnline this morning, explaining that the identity of a top City employee facing ten years behind bars “is protected by a court order”. The story is accompanied by a blurred photo of the banker in question. Right click on the image and look at its properties, however, and the world’s most read newspaper website has inadvertently named the Libor rigger. Guido has blurred the name out:

Judge Leonard QC will not be amused…

Mail Online Hires Piers Morgan

This should be fun while it lasts…

The Man Who Hated Ed's Speech

After the fun and games of last conference season and the Mail’s ‘Ed’s Dad Hates Britain’ story, revenge was a dish served from the platform for the Labour leader. Ed used his conference speech to slam the Mail much to the joy of the crowd, for whom the paper have become Labour’s bogeyman de jour.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Dacre Takes The Telegraph

Spotted at No.10 today:

Eagle-eyed snapper Steve Back got the scoop: the Daily Mail editor takes Her Majesty’s Telegraph.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Nigel Evans Makes £21,000 From Post-Sex Trial Media Interviews

Cleared Nigel Evans was paid £21,000 for selling the story of his trial to the press. Evans is being paid £1762.50 a month until June 2015 by management company Exclusive Press & Publicity, in respect of three media engagements with the Mail on Sunday, Mirror and ITV.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Mail Kills Off Douglas Carswell

carswell-death-mail

You can’t get the staff…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Mail Ditches 'Get Lost Scotland' Attack for Scottish Splash

Can you spot the difference between the Daily Mail English and Scottish editions this morning?

Readers north of the border have been spared Simon Heffer’s message:

“The English, especially, will wonder why our leaders feel the need to suck up to a nation that sponged off our largesse consistently over the past 307 years, yet is still not satisfied… If [the Scots] really do feel the English are so toxic for them, there is nothing left to say except: clear off, good riddance and tell us where to send the bill for more than 300 years of subsidy.”

Defying the three line whip hacks and columnists are on to defend the union…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Mail Order Genius

eu-hoover

Guido is awestruck at the genius of the Mail, merging advertorial with its ideological line and shifting cut-price soon to be discontinued hoovers. Buzzfeed native advertising eat your heart out. Why didn’t Guido think of this first?[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hapless Tristram’s 14 Corrections and Clarifications

Tristram Hunt, one of the great minds of this or any other generation, showed just how clever he is last night by publicising a correction about him printed by the Mail. The story was about Michael Gove finding 14 historical errors in Tristram’s new history book, so it was a double win that the Mail had withdrawn the claims.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Bercow Fails to Explain Donor Mystery

bercowGuido’s story in the Sun on Sunday revealing John Bercow’s donation from a businesswoman to whom he gave a parliamentary pass makes the front page of this morning’s Mail. At the weekend a spokesperson for the Speaker refused to confirm Sally’s drinking pal Farah Sassoon was granted a pass.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Owen Smith backs one hour contracts but wants to abolish zero hours contracts:

“You need to give people a contract to say, ‘here’s what you will be working’. It could be one, but I’m saying it shouldn’t be zero, we should invert that emphasis.”

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