Monday, October 6, 2014

Boring Snoring LibDem Conference Picture Special

Tired after a long day at LibDem conference? Fancy finding a quiet, empty spot for a quick nap to recharge your batteries? Where better than right in the middle of the conference hall. It’s not like any LibDems would turn up to a debate on tackling child abuse, after all:

Alternatively, you could always grab forty winks while your leader is speaking:

That seemed to be a popular choice among delegates for some shut eye:

Cheer up love, it might never happen (not for seven months anyway):

Guido cannot fathom why box office speaker Jo Swinson failed to draw a bigger crowd:

The Daily Mash reports that LibDem conference “has the ambience of a porno cinema”:

Only two more days to go…

Pics via Twitter.

Can Anyone Work Out the Top Line?

Convicted Child-Beater Addresses LibDem Conference

Speaking on stage in Glasgow yesterday was one Colin Rosenstiel, a LibDem councillor in Cambridge for 37 years. What Rosenstiel neglected to mention to his audience was that, just three months ago, he pleaded guilty to hitting a 7 year old girl in the face in the middle of a crowded shopping centre. A policeman who witnessed the incident described it as a “smash to the face”, leaving the girl “upset and crying” and “pale and frightened”. Rosenstiel is considered dangerous and should not be approached by delegates, especially if they are under the age of eight…

UPDATE: Of course there is also the time when Rosenstiel blocked an ambulance carrying an injured man. And the time commuters reported him “shouting at the top of his voice” when he refused to move his bicycle from a train carriage. Rosenstiel is currently undergoing counselling for anger management.

Rich’s Monday Morning View

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

LibDems Give Two New Jobs to Disgraced Rape Row Councillor

Four days after Mike Hancock left the party and the LibDems have already screwed up their next sex scandal. Disgraced Milton Keynes councillor Subhan Shafiq was forced to quit as mayor when he was exposed for allegedly giving character references to up to three alleged sex offenders applying to become taxi drivers, including rapist Nadeem Kiari. Lib Dem group leader Douglas McCall says despite this he is standing by Shafiq. That’s not all, McCall has just handed Shafiq two new council committee roles, on the health and adult social care committee and joint negotiating committee. Will they ever learn?

H/T miltonkeynes.co.uk

Friday, September 19, 2014

LibDems Bury Hancock Resignation News at Midnight

A nice touch from LibDem spinners to announce Mike Hancock’s resignation from the party at midnight while the nation’s journalists were looking elsewhere, especially since he handed in his letter several days ago. Guido cannot imagine why they wanted to bury the news about their MP who had confessed to inappropriate sexual behaviour with a mentally ill constituent, which was then covered up by the party, and ignored by Nick Clegg‘s office. What was that about the LibDems taking a long hard look in the mirror?

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Another LibDem Contribution to Statistical Excellence

Guido can only doff his cap to the LibDems for this piece of statistical brilliance. The unrivalled data wizards over at Great George Street, for whom any budding student of stats should take inspiration, have produced the following masterpiece on their membership numbers:

With no axes or numbers whatsoever, it really is a quite beautiful example of how to make a 5% increase in members over five quarters look like a 300% rise. Guido would never want to help a rival, but he would not begrudge the LibDems entering this effort at next year’s Royal Statistical Society awardsThe Guy Newsroom salutes you…

Friday, September 5, 2014

Yellow-Bellied LibDems Absent for Bedroom ‘Tax’ Debate

Labour and Tory MPs were whipped into staying in London this morning for the tetchy debate on the spare room subsidy currently taking place in parliament. Even the Prime Mentalist has managed to turn up:

Three people in particular are conspicuous by their absence. The Deputy Prime Minister is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Danny Alexander. And what about Steve Webb, who is actually a minister in the department and who has at every previous opportunity stood by the policy the LibDems are now calling the bedroom ‘tax’ in a vain attempt to avoid electoral annihilation. Conveniently, Guido understands, they are up in Scotland…

UPDATE:

Thursday, September 4, 2014

84% of Public Say Clegg Was Stitched Up

At close of play almost 2,000 readers have voted in Guido’s poll over whether that really was a nine year old child grilling the Deputy Prime Minister on LBC this morning. 84% smell BS…

The station are sticking to their guns though:

“The LBC production team spoke to the boy and his mum, and we were confident the caller was genuine. Since the show, we’ve spoken to Rohan’s headteacher who confirmed he made the call from school in the presence of a teacher, and we’re completely satisfied he has a genuine interest in the issue.”

Show us the boy! 

POLL: Did Clegg Really Get Challenged By a Nine Year Old?

Nick Clegg sounded very sceptical that he was really being grilled on Call Clegg by a remarkably eloquent nine year old boy called Rohan.  He sounded suspiciously like an adult woman. 

It wasn’t posh enough to be a Tory press officer, and strangely “Rohan” echoes Labour’s attack lines on Free School Meals. Sources close to the Deputy Prime Minister are “positive” he has been done over.

What do you reckon?

UPDATE: Despite 85% of Guido readers disagreeing, an LBC spokesman says:

“The LBC production team spoke to the boy and his mum, and we were confident the caller was genuine. Since the show, we’ve spoken to Rohan’s headteacher who confirmed he made the call from school in the presence of a teacher, and we’re completely satisfied he has a genuine interest in the issue.”


Seen Elsewhere

Cam Cannot Stem EU Immigration | David Keighley
9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges
Opinions on Key Issues By Constituency | Red Box
Britain Irrelevant Inside EU | Dan Hannan
Cameron Heading for Fall on Europe | Rachel Sylvester
Lords Speaker Spends £350 on Two Mile Limo Ride | Sun
Shapps Slaps Down Barroso “Propaganda” | City AM
Bookies v Pollsters: What We Learned From IndyRef | Paddy Power


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Chris Bryant talks to the Times Diary about a famous gay actor:

“I don’t think I’ve had sex with him. He says we had sex in Clapham. I’m fairly certain I’ve never had sex south of the river”



Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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