Balls’ Backer ‘Bill’ Bungled Businesses Before

So who is Bill anyway? Flashback to 2011 and Guido ran through the CV of a Bill Thomas, then the boss of EDS and a member of Labour’s defence procurement review:

In 2006 RAF servicemen didn’t get paid for six weeks after EDS botched the implementation of new software. The £456 million Child Support Agency system, built by EDS, had “five hundred faults in the three years after it went live”. The Agency ended up manually inputting 36,900 cases as a result of an EDS IT failure. In 2003, Bill himself took full responsibility for a Revenues and Customs IT disaster that shafted the Inland Revenue. It is widely considered to be the worst government IT cock-up ever. EDS had to pay-out £70 million in compensation for the mess, but negotiated further government work before paying up.

Since these stunning successes, Bill went on to be a director at the Co-operative Bank; serving on the board with everyone’s favourite comedy crack-head, the Crystal Methodist Reverend Flowers. In 2007 Bill told the Telegraph “if things go well it’s not interesting”, a mantra clearly adopted by the Shadow Chancellor…

Ed’s Teenage Wild Child Years

Fresh from wowing everyone with his CV, Ed was asked about his teenage night-time exploits in his first selfie-stick interview*:

Sky: What were you like when you were 18? What were your interests? What were you up to?

EM: I cared a lot about… er… the world. I was actually living in America for a time working in the media, just before going to university. I was actually an intern. I was also interested in British politics and global issues and what was happening in the world.

Sky: What did you do on a night out though? What were you interested in?

EM: What did I do on a night out? I did some things that most teenagers did, I drank a bit too much, you know, um, but I grew up in a household where you were told to care about the world…

Did he really drink too much, or did he just read about it on the internet?

*David Cameron refused to do a selfie-interview because, a CCHQ source says. “it is twattish”. Correct.

UPDATE: A reader writes:

If Ed Milliband was living in New York when he was  18, as he said in the interview, and drank a bit to much he was breaking the law as the  minimum age at which you drink alcohol is 21, and has been since 1985. Miliband would have been there in 1987 when he was 18. He could have consumed alcohol bought by a parent. Perhaps wild teenage nights in the town with dad!

WATCH: Netanyahu “The Bibi-Sitter” Campaign Advert

Benjamin Netanyahu has released this memorable campaign advert featuring himself as “the Bibi-sitter”:

Who else would you want to protect the children of Israel?

Owen Jones: You Were the Future Once

For some reason the 31 year-old Guardian columnist Owen Jones is giving Sky News viewers the benefits of his youthful views for their youth-orientated Stand Up And Be Counted special broadcast. Our Wiki Guido (24) pointed out the generational difference…

UPDATE: Owen Jones, Guardian columnist and TV pundit,  spinning:

WATCH: Daily Politics Week in 60 Seconds

Romney Not Running

The Daily Beast exclusive that Mitt Romney is to run for President again will be staying exclusive. Romney says:

After putting considerable thought into making another run for president, I’ve decided it is best to give other leaders in the Party the opportunity to become our next nominee…

I’ve been asked, and will certainly be asked again if there are any circumstances whatsoever that might develop that could change my mind. That seems unlikely. Accordingly, I’m not organizing a PAC or taking donations; I’m not hiring a campaign team.

I encourage all of you on this call to stay engaged in the critical process of selecting a Republican nominee for President. Please feel free to sign up on a campaign for a person who you believe may become our best nominee.

I believe a Republican winning back the White House is essential for our country, and I will do whatever I can to make that happen.

To all my supporters, friends and family who worked both tirelessly and loyally to support my campaigns in the past, I will always be deeply appreciative. What you have already done is a tribute to your patriotism. We are overwhelmed and humbled by your loyalty to us, by your generosity of spirit, and by your friendship. God bless you all.

Read the statement in full here. Stupid idea in the first place.

“B*llocks!” Tory MP’s Partner in Outburst at UKIP Challenger

It’s all kicking off in Thurrock, as Tory MP Jackie Doyle-Price’s partner boiled over and shouted “bollocks” at a UKIP councillor last night. Smug Tory councillor Mark Coxshall was condemned by UKIP as a “twerp” and ordered to “calm down” by the chair. Feeling the heat from defending his other half’s 92 majority under threat from UKIP candidate Tim Aker?

GUY NEWS SPECIAL: Free Amjad Bashir Protest Outside CCHQ

Amjad Bashir has not been seen since he was kidnapped by the Tory party. Amjad’s captors have released a hostage photo of him alongside their leader, but they are not allowing him any contact with the outside world. Protesters outside the captors’ HQ have been threatened by Tory party security. Bring back our Bashir…

WATCH: Angry Burnham’s Newsnight Nightmare

Andy Burnham’s car crash with Newsnight’s Kirsty Wark is well worth a watch:

A very tetchy Shadow Health Secretary began the interview by admitting “there is a role for the private sector”, then piled into the Tories for putting […]

What Amjad Bashir Really Thinks About David Cameron

Speaking last year, Bashir said:

“We don’t trust him.”

Suspect Dave might well now be saying the same about Amjad…[…]

WATCH: David Cameron Explains That Hoax Call

No explanation to how he fell for this prankster though:

Stay tuned…[…]

WATCH: Farage on Bigots and Defector

Nigel Farage seemed to pretty much take today’s negative headlines in his stride. Coolly saying the Tories are welcome to their defecting UKIP MEP Amjad Bashir and that the UKIP General Secretary’s joke about there being “a lot of bigots […]



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Quote of the Day

Andrew Neil on the dying Dead Tree Press

“I read more bloggers now than mainstream columnists, because they’ve got more interesting things to say. Too many columnists today make you think, ‘Yeah, I think you’ve said that 10 times before and I’ve just noticed your column has not go a single fact in it’”.

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