The Guardian Media Group have snuck out their figures on a quiet Friday during the Olympics:

Guido is having a read and will get back to you…

The Guardian have been forced to issue a climb down this morning after claiming that the capital of Israel is Tel Aviv, rather than Jerusalem. The paper initially sought to defend the ridiculous claim, before finally backing down:

It’s like there is a pattern to all this…

There have been celebrations all round today as Bradley Wiggins won gold in the cycling, but there was one man at Guardian HQ without a smile on his face. Barry Glendenning was in charge of the Wiggins live blog when the internet went down at Hampton Court, provoking a shower of complaints. To say that Glendenning failed to handle the situation in a calm and collected manner would be an understatement:

Now that’s customer service…

Like all sensible news operations, the Guardian have have spent the weekend recreating the Olympics out of Lego. Since they lose £91 per minute, by Guido’s maths*, the cash-starved newspaper has lost nearly £400,000 in the time it must have taken do it. And they wonder how they haemorrhaged some £44 million last year…

*£91 per minute x 1440 minutes per day x 3 days = £393,120

By admitting that she sends her daughter to a private school, Janet Murray – one of the Guardian‘s top education journalists, has triggered plenty of hand-wringing today.  Murray tells of her difficulty at walking her five-year-old walk to school in a “straw blazer and boater”, comparing herself to that paragon of virtue Diane Abbott for putting her child before her career. Annoying when those pesky lefty ideals get in the way of reality eh?

The education world is certainly surprised by Murray’s Damascene conversion and she’s getting it in the neck from the left and the right. Murray ends her mea culpa to the left by passionately imploring:

“I plan to send Katy to a state secondary if I can, but if I find myself dissatisfied with what is on offer, I will go private again. Until local schools meet families’ needs and cater for each individual child, can you blame people for putting their hand in their pocket?“

Welcome to the real world Janet.

News reaches Media Guido that Monday’s Guardian staff meeting was pretty bleak.

Apparently now the landlord’s three year introductory offer is ending, the rent on their absurdly large folie de grandeur HQ has gone up to £12 million and a further £7 million needs to be found in savings. Meanwhile today the Guardian website has been live blogging an internal website developers meeting.

And they wonder why they are losing money…

A fantastic spot by the acceptable face of the left over at Though Cowards Flinch. Polly Toynbee might be off on her summer holidays soon, but that hasn’t stopped her from penning one last Olympic-sized rant for the Guardian. The subject of her ire this time is G4S outsourcing:

“No one can prove the value or cost of most outsourcing. What Thatcher began and Labour continued is an epidemic of evidence-free, faith-based policymaking. Politicians have been seized by a conviction that private is always better. With no public service for fair comparison, the weary old mantras of “monolithic”, “sluggish” public services go unchallenged.”

Pretty strong stuff. The only problem is that three years ago poor old Polly said almost exactly the opposite:

“There is no doubt that putting some services out to tender has vastly improved certain standards over the years, broken the power of vested interests and brought in competition that has sharpened up results.”

Even worse, she was writing for the in-house magazine of outsourcers Serco. Fighting a noble crusade against outsourcing from her Italian poolside paid for by outsourcer’s cash. Surely the end of credibility is in sight for Polly?

UPDATE: Further reading leaves Guido flabbergasted to welcome Polly to his side of the barricades on the privatisation of the NHS:

“Just look at how hospital consultants’ waiting lists plummeted when a few Independent Treatment Centres were set up nearby. Suddenly, long waiting lists for hip and cataract operations fell because patients had a choice … a little gingering up round the edges has an electrifying effect on sleepy outfits. Often, private provision makes sense where small units need to buy in some expertise or back-office work they can’t develop themselves. Some things have always been private – GPs, for example, the most-loved part of the National Health Service.”

Andrew Miller, Guardian Media Group CEO, is leading the group counselling sessions today for the doomed Guardian hacks losing £100,000-a-day:

From: Andrew Miller

To : bcc: all.notes.users

As you know, today Alan and I are hosting all-staff briefings in hall one downstairs.

Please check with your department coordinator which session you are booked to attend – they start at 10.30am, 12.45pm, 2.45pm and 5.00pm and will last just over an hour each.

A couple of points to note: please arrive 5-10 minutes before your scheduled session – latecomers will not be admitted into the hall after the session has started. Also, food and drink is not permitted in hall one so you will be asked to leave any refreshments outside.

Your feedback is really important to us. There will be an opportunity to ask questions during the sessions, and we would also like to invite you to share your comments and questions on the noticeboard next to the canteen throughout the day.

If you would like to share your feedback or questions with us confidentially, please email transformation@guardian.co.uk

Andrew

Apparently Alan Rusbridger has had a change of heart and is getting ready to declare that cuts are “essential”. No, not to the size of the state or the spending budget, but to the ailing Guardian Media Group. Guido hears that this year’s publishing losses will be up on the £38m lost last year with a £40m figure being banded about. A staff meeting is scheduled for tomorrow with managers set to beg more editorial staff to take voluntary redundancy before the axe comes out…

Regular readers may remember Guido’s little spat with Guardian tech hack Charles Arthur. Well he’s under fire again this afternoon:

Blottr on @O2: blottr.com/breaking-news/… Guardian's Charles Arthur, 3 hours later: guardian.co.uk/technology/201… #dontsaythepword cc @GuidoFawkes—
Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) July 12, 2012

Guido will let the readers decide on this one…