Media Bitch Fight of the Week: Rayner Batters Monbiot

The Guardian’s George Monbiot has finally met his nemo-sis. Eel be sorry for carping on at Observer food writer Jay Rayner, who took the oppor-tuna-ty to put Moon-bait in his plaice over his roe-ful dictat on fish (sic). As soon as Guido spotted them going at it like a couple of old fishwives, he was hooked by the sheer scale of the fight. His jokes wearing fin, Monbiot was soon left floundering. Cod not have happened to a nicer guy. 

Some may say the sole reason Guido did this post was for the puns, but bass-ically he did it just for the hallibut…

Via @lawrencedonegan

Hugh Muir No More

Hugh Muir’s Guardian diary has been discontinued after seven years:

“It’s been a glorious responsibility, but it’s time to shoulder another. Our diary will also take a rest. In its place from next week, the world seen through different eyes in a new column.”

It is a little known fact that perennial Boris basher Muir was in the pay of Ken Livingstone back when he was Mayor. Guido however prefers to reflect on his more amusing scoops, such as Nick Boles “creating photoshopped pictures of Labour politicians”, “when ministerial duties allow”, which came much to the surprise of the well-known parody @GeneralBoles. Bring back Marina Hyde…

Huhne’s Guardian Column Shelved

Chris Huhne’s Guardian column is no more. Guido will remember it for such fine polemical contributions to the political discourse as when he accused the Sun of making up fictional stories, how “tabloid-fuelled schadenfreude” drives the nation’s prison obsession, and his analysis of the Prime Minister’s “sincerity“. Then there was Huhne’s article accusing the Tories of “psychosis“, and the time he tried to convince us “I’ve played my own part in giving MPs a bad name, but ultimately it’s Rupert Murdoch’s media machine that corrodes public trust best of the lot”. Best of all, who can forget the greatest Huhne column quote of all: “whatever happened to loyalty? Best of luck with whatever you decide to do next…

Patron-ising Guardian Rip Off

Alan Rusbridger has gone all Bob ‘give us your f**king money’ Geldof. “Care deeply about the Guardian’s journalism and the impact it has on the world?” Then give them all your dosh.

For a whopping £60 per month – or almost 3% of the average person’s annual income – you can tour their newsroom and visit their printing presses by becoming a Guardian Patron:

“From campaigning on issues affecting the voices less heard to holding those in power to account, Patrons ensure the Guardian can continue to surface the information and ideas that shape the global conversation.”

So they’ve had to resort to a whip around…

Guardian Elitism

guardian-elitism

Worrying report in the Guardian today that Britain is “deeply elitist” because people educated at public school and Oxbridge have in effect created a “closed shop at the top”, according to a study by the Social Mobility and Child Poverty Commission. The study of the social background of those “running Britain” was the most detailed of its kind ever undertaken and showed that elitism was so embedded in Britain “that it could be called ‘social engineering’.” Terrible…

The Guardian’s editor Alan Rusbridger (Cranleigh and Magdalene College, Cambridge) is no doubt aware that the progressive paper has never had an editor who was not a privately educated, white male. The key to changing that in the future is the young writing talent they hire today. Owen Jones (University College, Oxford) and Archie Bland (Winchester and Emmanuel College, Cambridge) are two of his latest hires. Change is going to be a long time coming…

Gender Segregated Editorial Meeting at Guardian

The patriarchal norm of heteronormative gender oppression at King’s Place is being forced to check its male privilege. Girl power at the Guardian has inspired female staff to mark the departure of wimmin’s editor Jane Martinson with a wimmin-only editorial meeting next month:

As Jane Martinson is standing down as women’s editor it seems like a good moment to reflect on women at the Guardian, the future of how we cover women’s issues and what we do next.

With that in mind, we want to have a meeting open to all women in editorial to talk about the above. It will be on Friday 12th September, 11-12.30 in the morning conference room. 
Afterwards we’ll look to take discussions and recommendations to everyone in morning conference.
Do come along

Merope

Presumably, given the Friday lunchtime scheduling, all the blokes will be down the pub whilst this is going on. With Janine Gibson supposedly being lined up as Alan Rusbridger’s eventual replacement as editor, the ladies could be taking over…

Loony Left Coming For Evil Thomas the Tank Engine

Well this is just about the best thing that Comment is Free have ever published. For reasons such as ‘classism, sexism, anti-environmentalism bordering on racism’, kids must be weaned off of the evil that is Thomas the Tank Engine:

“For one, these trains perform tasks dictated by their imperious, little white boss, Sir Topham Hatt (also known as The Fat Controller), whose attire of a top hat, tuxedo and big round belly is just a little too obvious. Basically, he’s the Monopoly dictator of their funky little island.”

“For the record, all the “villains” on Thomas and Friends are the dirty diesel engines. I’d like to think there was a good environmental message in there, but when the good engines pump out white smoke and the bad engines pump out black smoke – and they areall pumping out smoke – it’s not hard to make the leap into the race territory.”

It’s not white smoke you numpty, it’s steam. They are steam engines. Little racist steam engines. Give me strength…

Guardian Workers Revolt Over £2 Million Boss
NUJ Condemns Widening Bosses’ Pay Gap

Guardian writers are unhappy that their pay is falling in real terms whilst their bosses’ pay tops £2 million.

guardian-logoFollowing today’s chapel meeting at 2pm, the following motion was passed unanimously:

The chapel believes that GMG’s continued payment of grossly inflated boardroom bonuses and remuneration packages is a violation of the Guardian’s values and represents a failure of corporate governance and accountability by the Trust.

The fact that one package of over £2m has been agreed after five years of large-scale company losses and falling real terms staff pay and numbers demonstrates that City-scale boardroom pay at GMG remains out of control and that genuine independent oversight is not taking place.

The chapel, which represents the overwhelming majority of Guardian and Observer editorial staff, believes the decisions of the board and trust on boardroom pay do not reflect the views of the staff, readership or the ethics of the Guardian that the Trust is obliged to uphold.

The chapel has no confidence in the existing system of executive remuneration, and calls on the company to publish details of all existing long-term incentive and boardroom bonus schemes, as well as the total executive bonus pool paid out annually.

The chapel believes that reform of governance at the Guardian is now essential, and calls on the Trust to respond to chapel representations for reform made over the past five years. The chapel reiterates its opposition to executive performance bonuses and calls on the trust to accept elected staff representation on the remuneration committee and to expand elected staff representation on the Trust itself.

The chapel instructs the officers to prepare a pay claim for this October’s settlement that takes account of GMG boardroom excess, narrows the widening gap between the lowest and highest paid in the company and aims to recoup the real terms cuts in pay and freelance rates sustained by NUJ members over the past five years.

Where was that tribune of the workers and Guardian columnist when the union was meeting?

owen-jones-bar-italia-soho
Owen Jones was having a cappucino breakfast tea in Bar Italia, Soho…

UPDATE:

The Editor Who Went Into The Cold

A Guido co-conspirator emailed on Friday:

Hi Just got off the BA flight (BA 232) from Moscow. Fellow passenger in the back of the plane was none other than Alan R. No mistake, definitely him.

Wonder if he was visiting

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Curvy Alan Rusbridger Gets the Full Mail Online Treatment

Camped outside celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse,  Dave and SamCam’s fav in Marylebone for date night, the snappers spotted Nigella Lawson with an scruffy looking  lunch partner. But who could this “Harry Potter look-a-like” be?

“Alan, her lunchtime companion, wore a

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Oh Is This the Way They Say the Future’s Meant to Feel?
Guardian Not Shifting at Glasto 

Following the roaring success of Guardian Coffee, MediaGuido[…]

+ READ MORE +

Guardian Newsroom Reacts to Hacking Verdicts

A mole tells MediaGuido how Kings Place reacted to the news:

“There was wild cheering in newsroom at news that jury had verdict. Now gone deathly silent.”

Gutted…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Labour candidate Clive Lewis tells the Staggers:

“I mean, in the multiverse there’s still three universes in a hundred where there’s a Green MP in Norwich, so anything could happen. I could be caught with my pants down behind a goat with Ed Miliband at the other end – well, hopefully that won’t happen.”

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