Thursday, February 23, 2012

Eye-Witness Account : Eric Joyce Punch-Up

From a co-conspirator:

“I was in strangers bar last night and saw the fight first hand.

I don’t know who threw the first punch, or why it happened, but I first noticed something had happened when Conservative MP Alec Shelbrooke was trying to restrain Eric Joyce shouting “YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO AN MP IN THIS HOUSE!”. Others then tried to drag Eric away from everyone else.

Eric continued to struggle and broke away from those who were holding him back. A couple of people got punched, tables got knocked over, drinks spilt, and glasses broken. A Conservative female MP then put herself in between Eric and the people he was after shouting “PUNCH ME BEFORE YOU PUNCH MY STAFF!” Yet Eric continued to struggle.

A couple of people managed to hold him down on the ground until the police arrived, who cuffed him and took him away. The security informed us while they were taking statements and names that it took them so long to get there as they went to the Sports and Social bar first.”

Seems about right…

Strangers’ Subsidised Fight Night

What happens in the Strangers’ Bar stays in Strangers’  Bar, or so they like to think. That rule goes out the window though if you’re a Labour MP who gives a Tory colleague “a Glasgow kiss”. Labour’s Eric Joyce was nicked last night after apparently headbutting Tory MP Stuart Andrew.

Witnesses tell Guido he “just kicked off” and start flailing shouting “There are too many Tories in the bar”. Tory councillor Luke MacKenzie got punched while trying to break things up. Guido is trying to work out what triggered it all and you can whisper what you know here.

Aside from one too many taxpayer subsidised pints of course…

UPDATE: Joyce wasn’t the only politico arrested last night. West Midlands MEP Nikki Sinclaire, who was forced out of UKIP, was arrested in Birmingham for conspiracy to defraud the EU Parliament.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Top Tipple

Guido is slow to this one, but it turns out someone does have a sense of humour after all.

After the furore over “Top Totty” resulting in it being banned as a guest ale in the Strangers Bar, a brewery have sent over “Kangaroo Court” as a replacement.

Here endeth the beer story. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Guy News Champagne Special: Cheers Chris

FLASHBACK:

It’s been a long eight months…

Monday, January 30, 2012

Disgraced Labour Leader’s Latest Run-In With the Law

Guido was just thinking that blog-favourite Steven Purcell had been quiet for a while, and then just as Miliband headed for Scotland, up he popped again. In another stunning PR success, Labour’s one time Glasgow golden-child, was questioned by police over the weekend about an “assault” that took place at his flat at 5:30am on Sunday morning. Guido understands that Glasgow councillor had been out celebrating the fact that the Crown Office had dropped their investigation into his time as chief of the Labour-led City Council. As we covered extensively at the time, Purcell’s career ended with him in rehab and his criminal associates under the microscope. 

Police were called to an “after party” that got out of hand and punches were thrown in a dispute with an invited guest. Having had their investigation into corruption shunned by the powers that be, Guido imagines that the police were only too happy to wade back in to this one. Purcell was questioned for ten hours.

A younger man was also arrested…

UPDATE: Anna Raccoon has more.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Pickles’ Pilgrim Party

Guido is off for beer and sandwiches with Eric Pickles to mark the launch of the growing  Trade Union Reform Campaign. The new group must be doing something right given that they have sent both the Morning Star and the TUC round the bend today.

In a pre-emptive move the TUC rushed yet another one of their poorly researched spin memos declaring all of the great things that taxpayer-funded trade  union officials apparently do. It will come as no surprise that the Taxpayers’ Alliance were able to shred it within hours.

Next time the TUC want to be taken seriously, they shouldn’t get the pseudo-academic/Morning Star writer Gregor Gall to do their research. He relied on a discredited BIS review that was conducted under the union-funded Labour government. No wonder it was pro-brother…

After campaigning for nearly a year now on the issue of Pilgrims, Guido likes what has been trailed so far from Pickles’ planned speech:

“The public want their council tax frozen and their bins emptied every week. They don’t want it spent on trade unions’ political campaigning. It’s not right that the public’s money is covertly being used to bankroll union activists. They are diverting resources away from frontline services, waging class war with public funds. At a time when every council needs to help pay off Labour’s deficit, it’s time to cut these pilgrims and axe these non-jobs on the rates. Unions should not be given free office facilities and the free service of union dues being collected by government employers.”

TURC has attracted the support of both Liam Fox and Aidan Burley, amongst others. Anyone know what the dress code is?

Research Report

It’s always nice to know your work is appreciated, so Guido enjoyed his chat last night with a northern Labour MP whose name escapes him and whose face blends in.

“Amicably” discussing the Commons subsidy and difference in prices for the public and Members, Guido was asked what he was doing sipping a taxpayer subsidised lager in parliament:

“Research”.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Andrew Lansley told the Speccie

‘I don’t like a minimum price, we are acting against below cost selling. My problem with a minimum price, well I have two problems. One is it’s regressive, so there are perfectly normal families who just don’t happen to have much money who like to buy cheap beer or cheap wine. Should they be prevented? No, I don’t think so and if you put in a minimum price, one of the journalists calculated that if you set it at 50p a unit it would add £600 million to the profits of retailers and drinks manufacturers which doesn’t seem to me to be the right thing to do in these circumstances.’

Monday, December 12, 2011

Aidan Burley Attends Stag Do with Man Dressed as Ed Balls
BBC Neglect Shadow Chancellor From Nazi Compendium

In the wake of the Mail on Sunday’s scoop about Tory MP Aidan Burley stupidly attending that stag party, the BBC have done a useful compendium of other similar incidents. They seem to have forgotten one key public figure who actually donned the suit himself though: the Shadow Chancellor. What a surprising omission…

Guido has made multiple attempts to contact Ed Balls today; through his personal mobile, his SpAd and his private office. Funnily enough he has refused to condemn Burley, despite being given every opportunity to. He refuses to speak on the subject…

Labour have been trying to make some capital out of the incident, but are finding it tough given their own little problem. They have deployed the big gun that is John Woodcock, who like you, Guido had never heard of until this morning. Woodcock says Burley attending the party was “sickening behaviour”. What is his view on actually wearing an SS uniform?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday Caption Contest (Friends Reunited Edition)

Guido is very happy to announce that the Jura Whisky give-away is back…

There is a bottle of Superstition up for grabs for the wittiest caption. If nobody is funny then Guido will just have to drink it, so get your thinking caps on.

While you think about it, why not sign up to become a “Diurach” here.


Seen Elsewhere

Government Needs 10.6% Spending Cuts To Meet Target | IFS
What We Learned From the Referendum | FT
Scottish Crisis Moves South | Nick Wood
English Democrats Accidentally Celebrate Yes Victory | Pink News
Union In Its Current Form is Dead | Janan Ganesh
Labour Could Be Split in Two | Sun
Ashcroft Poll: Why Scotland Voted No | Buzzfeed
Boris: Change Barnett Formula | Sun
Cameron is Back | Dan Hodges
What Happens Now | James Kirkup
Cairo of the North | Quentin Letts


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Diane Abbott on the Daily Politics:

“Labour MPs will unite behind Ed Miliband, once we find out what our policies are.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,468 other followers