Gold: Sensitive George Dancing and Brawling to Spandeu Ballet

According to Natalie Rowe’s memoirs, George Osborne used to be quite the dancer:

“The three musketeers were proper little ravers and loved to go clubbing. When George got tipsy, he lost his reserve and wanted to dance (I have a photo of him dancing at a party at my flat). He was a terrible dancer but wasn’t alone. I used to cringe when we went clubbing with the three musketeers and their friends. I couldn’t bring myself to share the dancefloor with them – just imagine tipsy public schoolboys at a disco doing robot impressions. The higher they got, the better they thought they were. George loved We Could Be Heroes by David Bowie and the three musketeers would sing it together top of their voices on the dance floor. George also adored Gold by Spandau Ballet. George didn’t have much of dress sense, neither did he make an effort to dress up – he just wore jeans and T-shirt.”

Yet he was sensitive:

“Although George never once said anything like: “I really hate what they’re saying,” at the time (I suppose he thought he’d be better off saving his energy – there was no chance of him making them stop), he was the most upset of the three and this made me feel close to him. Perhaps George was more upset because some of his acquaintances were racist towards Jews (George, who is Jewish, was christened Gideon and changed his name when he was a teenager to ‘fit in’). They’d say, “Shut up you f**king Jew,” to describe anyone they thought was being stingy. When we were alone George told me he couldn’t understand why I was with William; he said we just weren’t compatible.”

A fighter, not a quitter:

“I went and sat with George on the sofa. George couldn’t hold his own in conversation with his peers, which is why we ended up talking a lot together – we would share the fact that we didn’t have a clue, nor were we interested in what the others were going on about – arts, politics and the social shenanigans of the landed gentry. We were passing comment on somebody at the party when I leant over to whisper something to him and playfully licked his ear. William appeared. He’d seen what was going on and was pissed off. “What are you guys talking about?” he asked angrily. “Calm down William,” George said. “You’re letting your paranoia get the better of you.” The argument escalated quickly. When George tried to stand up William pushed him back down into the sofa. George then made a grab for William and they started tussling with one another. As I leapt out of the way the sofa tipped over and they rolled out onto the floor, still fighting – although it was the hugging-and-rolling type rather than the punching-and-kicking kind of fight. I thought it was hilarious. “Come on, stop it, this is ridiculous!” By the time they’d calmed down and made up, nobody had thrown a punch.”

More to come…

Osborne: the Naked “Son of a Curtain Salesman”

The Chancellor is only commenting through his lawyers – who dismiss Natalie Rowe as a dodgy witness – but the former hooker from that photo has her book out today. Guido will bring you some key extracts today, suitable for a family blog.

Their first meeting:

“Chris met George Osborne while at Oxford; they were both members of the infamous Bullingdon Club. By the time I started seeing William, the three of them were close friends and often turned up at my place together. I called them my ‘Three Musketeers’. Individually, William was ‘Willie Wonka’, George was ‘Georgie Porgie’ and Chris was ‘Christopher Robin’. George first arrived at my place with Chris, along with his friend Philip Delves Broughton, a writer for the New York Times. George was an attractive 22-year-old and it was immediately clear that girls considered him to be highly eligible – they were always vying for his attention. I thought he was quite good-looking but much preferred William. At this time George didn’t show any signs of the defiant character he went on to display as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Chris and William teased him about his background, that he was the “son of a curtain salesman” (his father is the co-founder of Osborne & Little, the fabric and wallpaper designers) and because he didn’t go to Eton. George took it without complaint; he had this ‘look’ he would give me that said ‘How pathetic are they?’”

Osborne gets naked:

“On one particularly drunken evening at my flat in Prince of Wales Terrace, I made a bet with George, Chris and William that they would strip off naked, run out the door, down the street to a building that was fifty metres away and back again. The first one back would get a ‘prize’. Eventually, after a bit of cajoling, the three of them agreed, stripped off and waited by the front door. “Ready?” I said, my hand on the door handle. “Set… Go!” I threw open the door and off they ran down the front steps, bottoms wobbling as they pounded down the street. And, of course, I locked the door and went back inside. I watched as they came running back, cheering them on. They all arrived more or less at the same time and couldn’t believe what I’d done to them. “Please let me back in!” the future Chancellor of the Exchequer pleaded. They all begged, hands over their willies, and I just watched, laughing. I laughed so much that I collapsed and thought I might even wee myself. Luckily for them, my building was in a quiet cul-de-sac. I gave them a good few minutes, which must have seemed like hours, god knows what any passer-by would have made of three naked men standing in the street. Finally, when I’d decided they’d had enough, I let them back in. They loved it and were all laughing afterwards – they’d enjoyed the joke.”

Rowe is very clear that the character of “Joe”, a young politician with the safe word “Mary” is not Osborne.

Though regular readers will remember the word “Louise” from a while back…

Sally Beercow Reacts to New Woman in Speaker’s Office

It seems like the Attitude Awards were rather jolly.

Via: Daily Mail

The Rebel Alliance Form South of France Hotel Pact

Lord Ashcroft’s ability to troll the Prime Minister knows no ends. When he’s not pouring claret down Tom Watson’s throat he’s lunching another former insider Cameron threw to the wolves:

Not a menacing picture, at all…

Gove “Just Hot”

We’ve all been there, having to explain yourself to the missus after coming home a bit squiffy from a long night out. It seems the Education Secretary was quick thinking. Mrs Gove, soon to be Mail columnist Sarah Vine, tweets:

That old chestnut.

Boris and Gove on a Smashing Night Out

Guido would not like to suggest that Boris and Gove had wet the Royal Baby’s head last night, though then again these photos do suggest they were in somewhat jovial spirits after a dinner at Scotts:

Boris clearly just fancied a stroll rather than riding his bike home, while Gove’s difficulty walking in a straight line can obviously be explained by the heat:

Hic.

Via Mail.

Tories Replace Ed at Miners’ Gala

Last year Ed Miliband went to the Durham Miners’ Gala to march with his union paymasters. In the wake of the ongoing scandal, it is no surprise to hear that he kept his distance yesterday. Filling in the gap was new Tory campaign group Renewal. Guido understands that they survived their trip to Durham. The group have their official launch tonight, though given their aim is to win working class northern votes, finding the right venue in SW1 was tricky. The usual swanky hotels that these sort of launches use would not really cut it. Free bar at the slightly dingy Old Star seems about right. Guido will be there at around six. Flat caps optional.

Stranger Things Have Happened…

… Though not many. The baronetcy heir apparent tests the effects on the working man of his 1p cut to the price of beer, pulling a pint for Tom Watson in parliament’s Strangers bar last night. Sampling the latest from his local brewery, called Pennies from Eleven apparently. Must not make eye contact…

Via @michaeldughermp

Farage Cautioned For Being Drunk and Disorderly

Nigel Farage’s city trader son will receive the caution after being found a bit worse for wear by cops in central London. A rite of passage for the offspring of any great leader.

It happens to the best of us…[…]

+ READ MORE +

This UKIP Candidate Definitely Not Racist or Homophobic

18-y-o-ukipper

Our colleagues over at The Sun put 18-year-old politics student Bradley Monk, standing for UKIP to get on the Hampshire County Council seat Winchester Eastgate tomorrow, on page 2 after he put pictures of himself wearing a creepy Jimmy Savile […]

+ READ MORE +

Lobsterity Lunch

lobsterity

Neo-Guido is 27 years old, never been kissed…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Majestic Wines offer an Argentinian Toast Today

argie-wine-day

Of course today would be Majestic’s World Malbec Day, brought to you by “Wines of Argentina”. Not quite in the Oddbins league perhaps, though this must be the second most unfortunate booze promotion of the week. Guido will be […]

+ READ MORE +



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