Peter Rask, Volvo’s UK boss, says..

“If only the Labour Party had been like today’s Volvos – dynamic, agile and innovative – perhaps the UK economy would have been in a better place than it finds itself today!”

Comparing sleek, fuel efficient, low emission cars to clunky old Gordon Brown seems wrong, he was more of a steam train. The “Lying Scotsman”…

Red Ed saw another bandwagon he could jump on at his press conference on Monday. He lashed out at “financiers who creamed off millions”, blaming them for the near collapse of the UK’s largest care-home provider Southern Cross, which is laying of thee thousand staff as it cannot afford its £250 million rent bill. American investors Blackstone made a £134.5m profit from their sale of the company in 2007. As they held their shares for two years after floating the business, they only had to pay Capital Gains Tax on 25% of this profit, which worked out at £33.6m. If they had paid CGT at the usual 40% rate on 100% of the gain, they would have had a tax bill of £53.8m – £40.4m higher than they paid. But who was it that enabled them to “cream off millions”?

In April 1998, the government introduced taper relief for business assets, whereby the CGT rate was charged on only a proportion of the gain made from the disposal of an asset. In 2002, the Treasury increased this taper. Rather than a taper of 50% for a business asset held for two complete years, it was reduced to 25%. And who was running the show while these changes were thought up and implemented? 

Please step forward Treasury Special Advisers Edward Miliband (1997 -2002) and Edward Balls (1997 – 2004).

IPSA have released the expenses figures for the last quarter and guess who managed to rack up an £8,870 bill? In the last three months Gordon Brown has not spoken in the House, nor has he voted in the House and it seems he only shows up to see Obama. In fact Gordon asked just two written questions back in March. So why exactly are we paying him four and half grand a pop?

The excuse that his constituency is a long way away, so he needs to claim more, doesn’t wash when he’s not actually doing any work for his constituents.

Meanwhile the former Prime Mentalist earned £70,000 for just one speech in Vegas…

For all the noise being made about Sepp Blatter’s unopposed return as FIFA President, it’s funny you didn’t hear the Labour lot moaning about coronations created by forcing out your opponents with dark arts in 2007. 

Though it looks to Guido like Sepp has been cursed for a while… 

Isn’t it funny how Brown won’t turn up to Parliament to represent the people of Kirkcaldy and earn the £65,738, plus expenses and the pension, we pay him? Instead he goes around the world as he bids to restore his reputation, banking thousands for speeches while he does so. Yet Obama turns up, and he’s up there like a greyhound. Perhaps it was to complain that those DVDs didn’t work…

Labour’s loved-up golden child, Chuka Umunna, proudly announced his minimal promotion via Twitter earlier. He’s going to join the Shadow Business team, but Guido was more intrigued by who Miliband chose to replace him as his bag-carrying  Parliamentary Private Secretary. Michael Dugher may be a member of the new intake, but he’s hardly new to the scene…

From starting out as a lobbyist, he worked his way through various government departments until he ended up in Brown’s bunker. Dugher was the Prime Mentalist’s chief political spokesman. He was there in all those dark days alongside the two Eds, working out how to spin disaster after disaster. So much for the “new generation”.

UPDATE: Danny Finkelstein observes that this is less of a promotion for Chuka and more of a shoring up of his private office with someone who has experience defending a beleagured bunker from a restless PLP. Here is what Brillo thought of the golden child:

Without a hint of irony Gordon is speaking today in Las Vagas to a convention of hedge fund investors. The Salt Conference is one of the largest gatherings in the world of investors, speculators and wealth creators. No doubt he will regale them with tales of how he saved the world from their evil destruction, lecture them about how they are all to blame for the financial crisis, and were it not for him, it would have been armageddon. Or will he just take the nice fat appearance fee, drone on about his book, and run the profit through his limited company to avoid paying the chokingly high income taxes his government forced on the country.

Meanwhile the people of Kirkcaldy still go unrepresented in Parliament. What good is Gordon doing for them in Vegas?  Guido pities anyone in the casinos, it’s going to be big wins for the house tonight with Jonah in town. 

However, there is something you can do to show Gordon, Labour and the rest of the deficit denying, head-in-the-sand, carry on spending brigade that enough is enough. That is to give the Rally Against the Debt an hour of your time on Saturday morning  in Westminster. Guido will be taking to the soapbox and wants to see as many co-conspirators there as possible…

Still a joy to watch…

Even the Guardian’s readers don’t think Brown should go to the IMF. Their poll agrees with Cameron, despite the loaded question. Most of Labour are being very quiet about the whole affair, bar a couple of comedy endorsements. Discredited campaigning “economist” turned Labour activist David Blanchflower, he of backing Balls fame, said “This is the most vindictive thing I’ve heard from a Prime Minister in 50 years. It looks to me to be extremely small-minded.” Small-minded like flogging the gold at the bottom of the market? Small-minded like borrowing and throwing money away like a sailor in a knocking shop? As small-minded as creating, then denying, a structural deficit? As vindictive as bullying and smearing your way to the top? Give it a rest David…

There are 170 billion other reasons why Gordon shouldn’t get the job, but that hasn’t stopped Alex Hilton trying to get a campaign to draft Gordon going. Though given his track record we shouldn’t have too much to worry about there.

The Prime Minister just did the Today program. As ever Evan Davis covered himself in glory, Guido isn’t quite sure interviewers are meant to laugh their way through questions, even if it was just nerves.

When asked whether he would block Gordon’s appointment to the IMF, Dave did not answer directly, but suggested someone who cannot recognise their own debt and financial mismanagement should not be in a role looking after other country’s problems. Well that’s that then. Gordon will not be going to the IMF. To put the boot in the PM picked Storming Gordon for the racing tip.