Usually the rule in politics is: don’t ask a question you do not know the answer to. It goes without saying that you do not ask a question when you have already been told the answer in writing. That would be a waste of time and money.

Gordon Brown MP has tabled a rare written parliamentary question about a constituency issue in a belated attempt to catch up on a growing concern of his electors. The written reply doesn’t convey the full contempt…

Radioactive Waste: Dalgety Bay

Mr Gordon Brown: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence with reference to his planned visit to Fife in the week of 30 January 2012, if he will visit the sites at Dalgety Bay now under scrutiny for radiation contamination.

Mr Robathan: I am, this day, at Dalgety Bay and am visiting these sites. My office notified the right hon. Member’s office of my visit on 19 January.

Gordon tabled the question on January 26. He isn’t really paying attention is he?

As the PM sat down after a tough outing in the Commons, the news breaks that Fred Goodwin was told at 3pm that he had been stripped of his knighthood “by the Queen”. Intriguing timing.

Knighted by Gordon for banking and stripped by Dave for, er, banking.

Another day, another mob win.

Yesterday Guido brought you the news that Gordon Brown was up to his old trick of locking horns with newspapers editors. He’s had a mighty fall though as the most he can spin is his local rag these days. The original copy and a page scan of the article Brown had pulled from the Fife Courier website mysteriously appeared earlier. Given that the former Prime Mentalist is in Westminster tonight, Guido thought he should make sure it had the widest possible audience:

(Click to Enlarge)

That’s what you get for trying to repress a legitimate argument…

Guido forgot to link to an article sent to him yesterday from the website of Fife’s Courier. When Guido went back to the piece today though, it had mysteriously disappeared:

The “Opponents accuse Gordon Brown of failing to perform duties as MP‎” headline is very clear on Google News:

Essentially the errant former Prime Mentalist has faced calls from his local council to quit due to his spectacular efforts to avoid representing his constituents. Smelling a rat Guido decided to make some calls. As far as he can piece together, at some point yesterday Gordon picked up the phone and with characteristic charm and friendliness, politely asked the editor of the Courier to reconsider the article. After a calm negotiation the paper claims that a “compromise about future articles” from Gordon was reached. Thus a mutually agreeable conclusion was reached and both parties went their separate ways amicably. 

Sadly for Gordon though, an eagle-eyed hack at the Scottish Express thought fit to lift the entire story from the Courier’s website and even mooted an upcoming by-election:

Their editor should prepare for incoming fire…

730 days ago the Labour Party were secretly flapping about their leader, but publicly grinning, all be it with guns to their head:

If Guido recalls correctly, Gordon’s “relaunch” a few days later was a spectacular success.

Catastrophe : xmas tree knocked over while I was out, and everyone tried to pretend it didn't happen *totally rumbled the cover up*—
Sarah Brown (@SarahBrownUK) December 19, 2011

Brownite destruction? Cover up? Surely not…

Via Paul Waugh

They say that history is written by the victors, but that hasn’t stopped the Indy’s Steve Richards trying to buck the trend. Upon reading his “Gordon is still great and should come back and teach us all how to save the world” piece, you could be forgiven for thinking his copy was filed after the festive sherry was passed around the Indy office, but something else piqued Guido’s interest. There are mentions to previous Prime Ministers, as well as their biographies. The whole thing reads like one long job application…

Is Steve lining himself up to write the book?

The Right Honourable Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath has finally woken up to the fact there is a crisis in his constituency and it might be an idea for him to actually do the job he is paid for. Guido brought you the news a month ago that part of Gordon’s Fife constituency contained radioactive material. Now with a lack of action, not least from the local MP, the beach could be designated the UK’s first stretch of Radioactive Contaminated Land. Finally today Gordon managed to haul himself in front of a camera.

So what has he been doing instead of representing his constituency? Well:

• £48,166.00 for a speech to Visa International.
• £36,639.66 for a speech to Credit Suisse in Miami, Florida.
• £36,018.18 for a speech to Comtec Med in Geneva, Switzerland.
• £35,873.94 for a speech to World 50, Inc in New York.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to PIMCO in Newport Beach, California.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to Economic Club of Michigan.
• £36,146.29 for a speech to Skybridge Capital in Las Vegas.
• £36,292.84 for a speech to Citi Latin America in New York.
• £36,224.88 for a speech to Pershing LLC in Miami.

It must be a little painful for the former Prime Mentalist that Blair can command the combined total of that for a hour of his time, but do you know what hurts more Gordon? Radiation poisoning…

It was only a matter of time before England Rugby manager Martin Johnson was forced out of the job.

Jonah strikes again.

Via @nickpearcey