Lest we forget when it comes to politicians and food, Gordon had all bases covered:
Don’t forget to vote in our poll…
The most shared story on the blog this year was Guido’s investigation into the Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown. Since leaving Downing Street, Gordon has raised over £3 million to support charitable projects yet has given less than a £1 million to charity. Nearly three-quarters of the money raised has gone on his office and globe-trotting travel expenses that run at over £10,000-a-week. Despite Gordon claiming he does not profit from the arrangement and that all the income goes either directly to charities or to support other charitable public service projects.
The former Prime Mentalist then got very upset when Guido went on the BBC’s Daily Politics to share the story with a wider audience, demanding that the interview be removed from iPlayer. Guido readers can still watch it here:
All that jet-setting meant the people of Kirkcaldy weren’t seeing much of Gordon, so it will hardly have come as a surprise to them when on another foreign junket McMental admitted he saw himself as an “ex-politician”, despite still taking his £67,000-a-year MP salary.
And so, in December, Gordon finally announced he is making his lack of parliamentary attendance official by quitting at the election. With the old media doing their favourite greatest hits, Guido couldn’t resist his own tribute.
So long then Gordon. We shall miss you.
Gordon Brown will tonight finally announce he is making his lack of parliamentary attendance official by quitting at the next election. This website was taking the p**s out of the former Prime Mentalist way before it was cool, but with the old media doing their favourite McMental greatest hits today, Guido couldn’t resist. Never forget the curse of Jonah:
Or when the day the dam finally burst:
Nor when the public finally saw the two faces of the one-eyed son of a Manse:
So always cherish that expenses video smiling freak-out:
And regret when our nation’s leader was so hated he was booed by its veterans:
This soldier was having none of it:
Calling it ‘Obama beach’ did not help:
But thank you Gordon, for saving the world:
…and for picking your nose live on TV:
We’ll never forget when you forgot you were still an MP:
Or when you took yet another wrong turn:
Nor when the public finally got a glimpse of Psycho Gordon:
And when Andrew Marr asked the wrong bloody question:
And cherish the day Brown finally resigned:
So long then Gordon, you absolute loon. We shall miss you.
We have 2 classes of MPs in another sense too: those who do the job day in, day out – and those who only turn up when they want to speak
— Gavin Barwell MP (@GavinBarwellMP) October 14, 2014
The back bencher Gordon Brown has spoken. The time limit goes on. This is how it works. #thevow
— Pete Wishart (@PeteWishart) October 14, 2014
Gordon Brown speaking for 16mins on Scots Devolution debate – despite there being a 6 min limit. One rule for the few another for the many!
— Christopher Pincher (@ChrisPincher) October 14, 2014
Gordon Brown speaking in chamber. Screen says he started at 14.32 and it is now 14.47 Screen also says 6min limit on backbench speech???
— Conor Burns MP (@Conor_BurnsMP) October 14, 2014
Sir George Young very witty at Gordon's expense- not all MPs are equal, "some allowed to speak for more than 6 minutes, some are not".
— Joe Murphy (@JoeMurphyLondon) October 14, 2014
In the Scottish devolution debate. Two tier MPs? Gordon Brown has unlimited speaking time, other backbenchers limited to 6 minutes.
— Dan Byles MP (@danielbyles) October 14, 2014
Two classes of MPs. Those who barely come to Parliament yet get unlimited speaking time. G. Brown. Other class of MP: everyone else.
— Conor Burns MP (@Conor_BurnsMP) October 14, 2014
Another stunning Gordon success.
Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The following petition now has more than 10,000 signatures:
According to the petitioner, “because Scotland is sick of listening to your wobble-faced lies, you useless absentee ex-politician sh*tebag”. They’ve got 10,000 signatures, and Guido reckons they could get 10,000 more…
It is reported this afternoon that Big Six energy bad boys EDF have come out against Scottish Freedom:
“EDF Energy has warned that Scottish independence would herald massive uncertainty for the energy sector, accusing Alex Salmond of failing to answer a series of fundamental questions over issues such as nuclear waste. In a memo to the energy giant’s 15,000 staff – 1,200 of whom are based in Scotland – Vincent de Rivaz said those voting on Thursday’s referendum had “enormous responsibility” and warned the outcome “will affect EDF Energy and its employees”.
It will come as no surprise to regular readers that the EDF’s External Communications Director is one Andrew Brown – Brother of McDoom, the Former Prime Mentalist and self-declared saviour of the Union. Brothers in arms.
The former Prime Mentalist has hinted he may run in the Scottish Parliament to counter Alex Salmond’s perceived ‘lies’.
How many more jobs on the taxpayer does he want?
Does he realise he actually has to turn up?
Gordon for First Minister – what’s the worst that could happen?
The body language was wonderful at this morning’s joint appearance between Darling and the former Prime Mentalist:
Did someone say ‘forces of hell’?
They’ll be giving them away soon…
UPDATE: Banti @Khyberman found it in the fiction section
Penance is up. Damian McBride left Catholic aid charity Cafod two weeks ago and has spend some time working on the paperback version of his memoirs, amongst other writing projects. So expect more helpful blog interventions…
Wondering what he might do next, Guido asked Mad Dog if he was off to spin for the Yvette for Leader campaign. He laughed, heartily…
Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath
Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:
“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”