Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Two Tier Westminster

Another stunning Gordon success.

Monday, October 6, 2014

“Go F**k Youself” Gordon Petition Reaches 10,000 Signatures

Scottish nationalists have reacted with characteristic charm and good grace to their referendum defeat. The following petition now has more than 10,000 signatures:

According to the petitioner, “because Scotland is sick of listening to your wobble-faced lies, you useless absentee ex-politician sh*tebag”They’ve got 10,000 signatures, and Guido reckons they could get 10,000 more…

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Broon’s Bro Brings Big Backing for Better Together

It is reported this afternoon that Big Six energy bad boys EDF have come out against Scottish Freedom:

“EDF Energy has warned that Scottish independence would herald massive uncertainty for the energy sector, accusing Alex Salmond of failing to answer a series of fundamental questions over issues such as nuclear waste. In a memo to the energy giant’s 15,000 staff – 1,200 of whom are based in Scotland – Vincent de Rivaz said those voting on Thursday’s referendum had “enormous responsibility” and warned the outcome “will affect EDF Energy and its employees”.

It will come as no surprise to regular readers that the EDF’s External Communications Director is one Andrew Brown – Brother of McDoom, the Former Prime Mentalist and self-declared saviour of the Union. Brothers in arms.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

McMental MSP

The former Prime Mentalist has hinted he may run in the Scottish Parliament to counter Alex Salmond’s perceived ‘lies’.

How many more jobs on the taxpayer does he want?

Does he realise he actually has to turn up?

Gordon for First Minister – what’s the worst that could happen?

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Better Together

Monday, July 7, 2014

Gordon’s Scotland Book Selling As Normal

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Damian McBride Leaves Cafod

Penance is up. Damian McBride left Catholic aid charity Cafod two weeks ago and has spend some time working on the paperback version of his memoirs, amongst other writing projects. So expect more helpful blog interventions…

Wondering what he might do next, Guido asked Mad Dog if he was off to spin for the Yvette for Leader campaign. He laughed, heartily…

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Anyone But Gordon

Why is Gordon looking so glum at his speech on Scotland to the LSE this evening?

Perhaps all these empty seats have something to do with it:

Tsk tsk, students. Some people would pay a lot of money to hear the Prime Mentalist speak…

UPDATE: Gordon has told the audience that he believes the bedroom ‘tax’ is “completely unacceptable”. If only he had some power as an MP to express his opinion – Gordon failed to turn up for the vote…

Monday, June 9, 2014

Former Prime Mentalist Almost Keeps Anger At Bay

Gordon Brown tried his very hardest not to flip out in a room full of journalists as he gave the Press Gallery lunch earlier, but he managed just 3 minutes before having a crack at the Sun. He saved his true venom for Sam Coates of the Times though, who has had the impenitence to question Brown’s financial arrangements since he left office. Asked if he wished he had stood down at the last election, Brown replied “when I hear you, sometimes I do.” The fake smile failed to mask the snarl.

As questions mounted about standing down and how little time he had spent in Westminster, McMental quipped: “it’s lovely to see you but I have no desire to be part of frontline politics.” Clearly, given his Commons attendance. 

Gordon Curses England’s World Cup Hopes

Speaking to journalists at today’s Press Gallery lunch, the Prime Mentalist has put paid to any faint hopes that England have in Brazil, hardly helping the Better Together campaign either:

“I will support England in World Cup.”

You might as well fly home now boys.

Despite this devastating turn of events, Eric Pickles is refusing to give up hope. The Three Lions flag will fly from the top of DCLG on Thursday, for the first day of the World Cup. “We chipped in to buy the flag at no expense to the taxpayer,” they assure Guido. Pickles hopes to recover some luck for England – his namesake Pickles the dog recovered the stolen World Cup trophy in 1966.


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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