Peppa More Believable than Yvette

There was only one story that the Fawkes household cared about yesterday. Peppa Pig’s boycott of Yvette Cooper’s photo-op.  Can you blame Peppa? Yvette was in that auto-pilot soundbite mode thing she does, droning on that “the Conservative and Liberal Democrats would form a ‘Coalition of Cuts for Children’ that would put children in the frontline for spending cuts”. Yesterday the top-line from Labour was “only we can save your children”, it was so over the top it was unbelievable.

All obscured anyway by Peppa’s boycott of Yvette’s photo-op at a nursery. Labour’s press conference yesterday morning will be used in the future by media studies classes as a textbook case study on how not to handle the media.  Mandelson and Ed Ball’s exchanges with Adam Boulton, Andrew Neil and Nick Robinson were pretty bad tempered. The hacks were all trying to identify where Labour’s expected £30 billion of cuts were coming from, the issue which dominates front pages this morning following on from the IFS report accusing all parties of electoral dishonesty.

The backfiring Peppa photo-op is a metaphor for the Labour campaign, they can’t get traction on their new “Coalition for Cuts” dividing line because they themselves won’t credibly specify their own closet cuts agenda.  Peppa the Pig stood in for government spokesman on the Daily Politics and featured on Newsnight more than Yvette’s message. Peppa might be a fictional children’s character, but she is more credible than Yvette.

No Such Thing as an Innocent Bystander

The spin has been that today’s Cameron heckler, Jonathan Bartley, was just an “ordinary dad“. Not quite. He is in fact the left-wing Christian pacifist activist who edits the Ekklesia blog and is a Guardian contributor. Hardly your average random passer-by.

Some of his outbursts show why he might not like Dave so much. He calls Jesus a socialist, which will come as a bit of a surprise to Tim Montgomerie, he rants daily against the Tories on his Twitter page, raging against orthodox religion and the monarchy.  With his track record of ranting online Guido is surprised Labour haven’t made him a candidate yet.

Quote of the Day

Peter Mandelson said to Adam Boulton…

‘You’re not running for election’.

Adam Boulton said to Peter Mandelson…

‘Neither are you’.

Another New Media Scalp

Another day and another candidate has been scalped by comments they have left online. All of the major parties have now had to sack a PPC, with today being the turn of Scottish Tory Philip Lardner who said homosexuality is “not normal“. Lardner, fighting  for North Ayrshire and Arran, would likely have gone regardless of which medium he used to espouse his views.

Unlike Labour’s MacLennan and Cowan scalps, there was no attempt to fight the inevitable and with Cowan, a cover up instigated by the party machine. Guido will be returning to this subject soon…

Mandy v Clarke – The Anti-Spin Room

Exclusive : Peppa Pig is in Tory Bear’s Hands

Peppa Pig isn’t endorsing Labour because she is in Tory hands. This picture was taken minutes ago behind the scenes in the Guy News newsroom.  Peppa is being held by Tory Bear, who is known to his mother as Harry Cole. Happy Birthday Harry!

He is 24 today and single again girls.  He has never kissed a socialist – yet…

Clegg Stars in Both Tory and LibDem Election Broadcasts

Interesting Party Election Broadcasts last night, the Tories were fear-mongering that coalition government would be all about backroom deals and horse-trading. This is of course what is conventionally known as ‘politics’.  In the Tory broadcast a Clegg-like actor walked around Westminster offering dithering.  Apparently if you vote Conservative you will get a decisive liberal-conservative government firmly rooted on the centre-ground of politics.  If you vote Liberal on the other hand you could end up with a dithering liberal-centrist coalition government.

In the real LibDem PEB we had Clegg walking around Westminster offering change from the old politics, his first promise was an offer of “tax freedom”, a tax cut worth £700 to every taxpayer. Now 10 points higher than where they were when they started the campaign, the LibDems think their most attractive manifesto offer is a tax cut.

Tax cuts, the Cameroons told us, were the old politics that didn’t work with voters.  All the Tories needed to do was to offer Obama-style “change” from Gordon Brown. In the words of Sarah Palin: How’s that hopey change thing working out for y’all?

Peppa Pig has Left the Building

Labour last night issued a press release last night promising:

Peppa Pig Accepts Labour Invitation to Join Visit to Children’s Centre
The Labour Party has organised a visit to a children’s centre in South London to highlight our policies to support families. Yvette Cooper and Tessa Jowell will be shown around the centre and we are delighted that Peppa Pig, the star of children’s television, has accepted our invitation to join the visit.

For those of you without children under 5, Peppa Pig is a mega-star phenomenon, bigger than even Elvis nowadays.  Guido understands that Peppa Pig has pulled out of the event for fear it would be seen as an endorsement of the Labour Party…

UPDATE : Scenes of devastating disappointment at the Coin Street Nursery as tearful toddlers and young mothers learn a bitter lesson: Labour breaks its promises. Tearful toddlers asking “Where’s Peppa Pig? You promised!” Angry mothers and wailing children can only blame the wicked witches; Yvette and Tessa. Yvette has just issued one of her barmy soundbites “the Conservative and Liberal Democrats would form a ‘Coalition of Cuts for Children’ that would put children in the frontline for spending cuts”.  Not claiming they would actually eat your babies – which was probably what Ed Balls wanted to claim.

Guy News : Gordon – The Disaster Movie

LabourVision.TV launches today – a crowd sourced effort to produce an online anti-party, anti-political election broadcast.  Details revealed later as to how your home made video can be part of Gordon – the Disaster Movie premiering on May Day.  The […]

+ READ MORE +

Kerry’s Cowan Cover-up

The Labour Party were spinning earlier that as soon as the allegations about their disgraced PPC John Cowan emerged he was suspended: ‘The allegations that came to light after nominations closed are totally unacceptable and well below what the […]

+ READ MORE +

Tories Panic, City Relaxes

George Osborne this afternoon is trying to convince us that a hung parliament will mean higher interest rates as investors panic and the gilt market plunges.   Guido begs to differ, arguing that if on May 7 the Tories went into […]

+ READ MORE +

Quote of the Day

Tom Newton Dunn, political editor of the Sun, apparently said…

“It is my job to see that Cameron f***ing well gets into Downing Street”[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Cameron’s closest friend in politics Steve Hilton backs Brexit:

“A decision to leave the EU is not without risk, but I believe it is the ideal and idealistic choice for our times. Taking back power from arrogant, unaccountable, hubristic elites and putting it where it belongs. In people’s hands.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE
OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES
TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA
ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN
STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION
NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE
CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN
SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY
SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL
SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’ SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’
CRICK CRICK’D CRICK CRICK’D
EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME
LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES
LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY
WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER
CELEBRITY CONSUMER CHAMPION HITS BACK AT BSE CELEBRITY CONSUMER CHAMPION HITS BACK AT BSE
MOMENTUM REJOICE! ONLY 65% THINK CORBYN NOT READY TO BE PM MOMENTUM REJOICE! ONLY 65% THINK CORBYN NOT READY TO BE PM
TAXPAYER FUNDED ASH LOBBIED GOVERNMENT FOR PLAIN-PACKS TAXPAYER FUNDED ASH LOBBIED GOVERNMENT FOR PLAIN-PACKS
REMAIN’S GILLIAN DUFFY MOMENT REMAIN’S GILLIAN DUFFY MOMENT
NORTHERNERS MOCK “GRIM UP NORTH” BURNHAM NORTHERNERS MOCK “GRIM UP NORTH” BURNHAM
LONG-TERM RISE OF ANTI-POLITICS LONG-TERM RISE OF ANTI-POLITICS
SUPREME COURT FINDS IN FAVOUR OF PJS SUPREME COURT FINDS IN FAVOUR OF PJS
Earth is Greener! Earth is Greener!
JUSTIN TRUDEAU ELBOWS FEMALE MP IN CANADA COMMONS FRACAS JUSTIN TRUDEAU ELBOWS FEMALE MP IN CANADA COMMONS FRACAS
GOVE TURNS HIS BACK ON MONARCHY GOVE TURNS HIS BACK ON MONARCHY
EMILY THORNBERRY’S WHITE VAN MAN STYLE OUTBURST EMILY THORNBERRY’S WHITE VAN MAN STYLE OUTBURST
13 LABOUR MPS DIDN’T DECLARE HATTIE’S PINK BUS 13 LABOUR MPS DIDN’T DECLARE HATTIE’S PINK BUS
DENNIS SKINNER ISN’T FUNNY DENNIS SKINNER ISN’T FUNNY
HARD LEFT SILENT OVER VENEZUELA CHAOS HARD LEFT SILENT OVER VENEZUELA CHAOS