Friday Caption Contest (Fancy Dress Democracy Line-Up)

Byrne Fires on Downing Street

Colin Byrne, CEO of mega-spin merchants, Weber Shandwick, is a former protege of Mandelson and was the Labour Party’s chief press officer from 1988 to 1992. He has his own blog and has, judging by his latest post, had enough of the team of second raters around Gordon.

Quite what prompted the incompetents – as they clearly are these days for all their fat salaries and big job titles and egos – in the No. 10 bunker to have the PM telling us to eat up our crusts one day and be photographed waving a glass of wine around the G8 dinner table as he tucked into the conger eel the next is beyond this simple communications guy’s understanding.

Guido has been patiently waiting for the anti-Brownies to come out and openly attack Gordon. Blairites and ministers are briefing anonymously, the rank-and-file on LabourHome are in open revolt. Expect more of this all summer…

Rosindell Googling Himself in the Early Hours

Rozzer has clearly been sat in front of his computer late at night Googling himself in the early hours of the morning. This arrived in the inbox at 1.30 this morning:

Dear Guido Fawkes

It has been drawn to my attention that on a posting dated the 24th April 2007, there are some extremely offensive comments relating to myself.

I have no problem with anyone taking part in your blog posting criticisms of me for my actions in parliament or my political views, but the remarks on this page are very personal and unpleasant as well as being untrue.

They also relate to other individuals, my family and my staff, which I find particularly offensive.

I would be grateful if you would remove them from the internet.

Thank you for your co-operation.

With best wishes.

Andrew Rosindell M.P.
Member of Parliament for Romford
Shadow Minister for Home Affairs

Looking after ROMFORD · Fighting for ENGLAND · putting BRITAIN first!

He is complaining about the entries in this caption competition from April last year.

Dear Andrew,

Yes they are unpleasant and offensive, they are also very funny. Straight insults and/or satire are however generally not considered defamatory. Nobody is seriously suggesting you and the dog are lovers. Clearly satirical comments of this nature are not actionable.

I have nevertheless had a quick look and removed a couple of comments which, at a stretch, could relate to staff members. Don’t see any about your family.

You are a public figure, you should expect public scrutiny, including ridicule. If you will go round kissing dogs for publicity photos, people are entitled to laugh and make jokes. They will therefore remain published.

On a more serious matter, I note you voted against transparency for MP’s expenses. Since we no longer have the stocks for those the public hold in contempt, my blog will have to do.

Regards,

Guido

For the Times They Are A-Changin’

Sam Coates over at Red Box has been documenting the difficulties in luring donors to Gordon’s big Wembley fundraiser tonight:
Apparently Alastair Campbell is frantically texting round the great and the good to try and drum up numbers for tomorrow night’s Labour fundraiser at Wembley. Bit late now… One person has apparently been phoned 8 times asked to buy a c. £15,000 table. Still saying no.

In contrast, the room last night for George Osborne’s speech was full, not just with young thrusting Cameroon boys and girls, but with an extraordinaryly large number of civil servant high fliers, no doubt eager to know what the new masters will demand of them. In the words of Bob Dylan:

Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’.

UPDATE : Sam also notes the guest list for Osborne’s speech.

Guido Says Jump, Downing Street Geeks Jump

Guido asked where were the promised answers due at the end of last month on Sunday, and again on Tuesday. Today, after Guido’s prompting and some prolonged dithering, we have the “answers” – basically the usual platitudes.

The best questioner asks the PM why should he be PM? Asks him to sell himself to us and answer the question why is he the best man for the job? He simply is unable to answer the question. He tells us what he wants to do, not why he is the best man for the job.

The polls tell us that voters don’t think he is the best man for the job. Tragic.

Calling the Brown Bottom*

Back in August 2007 when Brown was walking on water and the Tories were arguing over grammar schools, Guido put money on the Tories (at 3/1) being the biggest party in parliament post a General Election.
It is worth checking the comments to see how crazy people thought it at the time. Having correctly called the top with Brown, Guido is now calling the “Brown Bottom”. Guido is backing on Betfair a Labour win in Glasgow East, despite what the pundits think and also getting long Labour seats for a General Election with spread bets seems to be a win-win. If Labour win Glasgow East, Guido coins it on the by-election and the relief will translate into an improvement in their General Election seats expectations. If they lose Glasgow East they will surely have to get rid of the Prime Mentalist, which will also improve their seats expectations. Win-win…

*Not to be confused with what chartists of the gold market call theBrown Bottom, when he told the gold market in advance that he was going to sell off Britain’s gold reserves. The traders immediately got short ahead of the sales, profited on the way down as gold plunged, filled their boots as they bought back their shorts and some more for the greatest gold market rally of the twentieth century. An act of imprudent financial stupidity that some describe as treasonous.

Did Harriet Panic?

Guido has been pondering Harriet’s retort to Hague’s jibe about her wanting Gordon’s job – “It wouldn’t be possible because there aren’t enough airports in the country for all the men who would want to flee…”. James Forsyth over at the CoffeeHouse has it on the nail:

she actually froze and couldn’t find a way out of the hole she was digging herself into… Harman was rather desperately searching for some witty rejoinder and ended up blurting out the first thing that came into her head. I do find it incredible–considering all the press speculation in recent days – that Harman didn’t arrive with a pre-prepared line to use if the leadership came up.

Looking at the video she was stumped by Hague’s head-on jibe. She floundered and put her foot in her mouth using a suggestion first made by co-conspirators here. Perhaps she will support a third runway for Heathrow after all…

New Labour Guilty as Charged

Propeller-Head Wonk Watch: Maurice Saatchi’s Enemy of the People published today by the re-energised Centre for Policy Studies (IEA trustees take note) is brilliant. Written in the form of an indictment it succinctly lists the chief charges of which New Labour is guilty as their era closes.

The core of the criminal conspiracy was “The Four-Stage Plan”:
… the defendants concocted and put into execution a four-stage plan to secure power over the people:

Step 1 The victims pay more tax
Step 2 They receive “benefits” to pay the tax
Step 3 They are grateful for the “benefits”
Step 4 They vote for the defendants

This is the central charge against the left universally, whether social democrat or socialist, humanist or Stalinist, they always end up taxing to give back benefits to the people they took the money from in the first place. An astonishing 22,400,000 people in this country claim benefits, 39% of households, the number has doubled under New Labour. If we lifted the threshold at which taxes were paid to say £12,000 (as advocated by Adam Smith Institute) millions would be able to get off the tax-bureaucracy-benefit merry-go-round. Gordon has built a client class of state bureacrats and those dependent on the state. The only reason Gordon deliberately pays child benefit to millionaires is because he thinks it will shore up support for the welfare state.

It is a shame that Saatchi is out of favour with the Cameroons, mainly because he sings from the old Thatcherite hymn sheet. Well, he did after all write some of the best hit tunes…

Sun Says : Harriet Definitely Plotting

The insider panel on Politics Home agrees – two-thirds reckon she is positioning herself. Lets see if she does well at PMQs today. If she cheers the Labour benches it will put some oomph in her covert campaign. Guido’s top

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Jump on the Harriet Bandwagon

A co-conspirator reminds Guido that it was the Fink himself who foresaw the potential for Harriet back in May. Elsewhere in pundit land Jackie Ashley makes a pretty uncoded call on the sisterhood in the Guardian:

In nine decades,

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Jonah Goes to Japan

Lands Monday, Earthquake richter scale 6 hits Tuesday. His life is like a disaster movie…

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Downing Street Still Not Listening

There was a lot of talk when David Muir was appointed from WPP that he would turn the Prime Mentalist into a digital leader superior to WebCameron. Advertising “guru” Muir even wrote a paean to the power of YouTube in

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liz Kendall is asked by Tom Newton Dunn if she would ever ban the Sun from one of her press conferences:

“If you stripped naked and ran in front of me, Tom, I might have second thoughts about it, but apart from that, no.”

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